The mouth-watering scent of cookies, bread, and cakes fresh out of the oven had Nathaniel quickening his pace to get to the cafe. He wrapped his winter jacket around him as a gush of cold wind passed him. It was one of those moorings when the night dragged on. In the blue sky, he could still see twinkles of stars and one more inside. Why was she the first thing he saw there when the sugar cookies that made him take an extra 20 minutes to work was right there? He cannot say, but his hands did involuntarily arrange his shoulder-length jet-black locks with brown highlights that complemented his honey-coloured skin, and he straightened up when he joined her in the line. He saw a few men stare at her, so why wouldn't they? On the cold, sunless day, her golden-brown skin shined while her short-feathered hair framed her face and bounced as she tiptoed to check the cookies. She shifted from leg to leg while on the line and even returned smiles to ladies who stared at her in a bubbly way. Nathaniel was mesmerised. He looked away from her to the cookies and studied the cakes, but his eyes gradually moved to her again. He hadn't seen her face but knew his cheeks were hot.
Once she reached the front line, she began with a soft voice and a rave, "Hello Angie- oh bless you, love."
Angie had handed her a pack of 6 giant cookies with a wink, "I saved them for you."
"You have made my day week, month actually", she chimed while excitedly clutching the pack. She walked out while eyes followed her, including his own. He longed to follow her and start a conversation, but what would he say? He never had issues talking to women; everything flowed naturally and left them blushing, but he was lost for words for someone he would never see again.
"Um, sir? What can I get you?"
"Excuse me?" Nathaniel blurted out, jarring back to reality. The man behind the counter nudged him to the displays of baked goods, "Ahh, can I get 4 of those and 2 of those with one latte, please?"
The server nodded and packed his order swiftly.
"Would you like a whip on that, sir?
"No," the server nodded and sealed the drink with its cover, then handed him the pack of cookies and the latte.
"Have a lovely day"
Nathaniel nodded his response.
He walked to the office with her on his mind and a budding anger for himself. What sort of longing is this? And of someone he would never see again. He knew he needed to forget about her when his laptop had been blank for a minute without noticing.
"Hey Jack"
"Hey boss, don't forget."
Nathaniel backtracked to Jack's desk. "I am having my party on Saturday?"
Nathaniel paused for a minute and clasped his hands together. "Ohh, finally, what time?"
Jack chuckled, "Seven-" Nate raised a brow, "pm, duh."
Nathaniel laughed and patted his shoulder, "Still early, we'll see."
By the time Nathaniel got to the office, he had forgotten about her and had finished his workday with a stiffened yawn. He packed his things and used his free hand to pick up an incoming call. "What's good? Ahh, I can't- nope, not that- don't you get the tired guy? If I follow you anywhere by this time, we won't be done by 3 am, and I have- okay, tomorrow then."
Well, his week was booked. He poured himself a glass of water and scrolled through TV shows until he got one worth watching. Nathaniel realised halfway through he had paperwork. So, he did that; then she realised he hadn't finished his cookies earlier in the day, so he ate them. Then she wondered how odd he would look visiting a breakfast cafe in the afternoon.
He did everything he had done in the entire week, from cleaning to watching a YouTube video on fixing door handles to completing a logo design for a freelance job. He was even able to blend smoothies and oil his locks. By the time he was done, it was 2 am, and his hands were cramping. He flopped on his bead and dozed off instantly.
The next day was a regular day that started with the hope of catching a glimpse of a pointless thought. Instead of waiting round-edged towards a lady ogling from afar, they chatted; he charmed and walked out. Simple enough to go about the work day in the December cold. The day passed with Nathaniel glued to the screen. He drew, edited, spoke to clients and analysed, drew some more, and sighed once the workday ended.
On Friday, he glanced around the café and then chimed on for the rest of his day. It was December, and the financial year was ending, so everyone did their work half-heartedly and spent most of the day discussing holiday plans, chatting and joining the office buzz about the anticipation for the company dinner party. It was annual, and the branch with the most work done gets a bonus, while people are appreciated. Nathaniel wasn't particularly looking forward to it. Still, it was an excellent time to meet, charm, and add important people to your network, as CEOs of other companies are invited. Last year, he met a digital designer who has given him most of his freelancing gigs.
His Thursday evening began in 'the Fitting Image', his favourite go-to spot for suits. He strolled in and nodded at a worker while skimming through the suits. He looked at each one, ranging from the plain suit to the shawl laper suit, skimmed his hands on the entire canvas suit, and settled with a peak labelled – forest green suit with the pleated pants to match. He walked with his purchase onto the bus and hung it on his bedroom door. Nathaniel lived in a condo on the high floors and loved it there. It was one of the best decisions he made with his money some months ago. He bought a two-bedroom apartment overlooking the lake and park and its litters of canteens, shops and the road that leads out of the city. It was a picture-perfect town view, and he enjoyed sipping a smoothie or coffee cup while leaning on the wall beside the window. He also enjoyed the feeling of sonder, watching people who looked like dots from that high live their lives.
That was what he was doing, except he was reading a book and seated legs crossed on the opposite floor. It was one of those rare nights he had in the week when he wasn't out clubbing, working late, or at a party. He was at home enjoying a good book. He was re-reading pride and prejudice once again. A book he had to skim through to design a book cover for a client some years ago. She had said, "I want it to scream pride and prejudice- you do know the book, right?" He hastily nodded yes and went to download the book immediately. He had intended to skim through and get a picture, but he got hooked and read the entire thing.
As he read through it again, he closed his tablet halfway through and watched the city. The lights just came on, and it was marvellous how everything came alive under the snowflakes. He got up to do some paperwork since his department head wanted everyone to work extra to get the bonus, even though they were well ahead and should win unless some other department magically did a month's work in a day.
He heated a frozen pizza, letting the scent engulf the apartment. He emptied his dishwasher and sat on the sofa to scroll through the annual flood of Christmas movies. Each one made him roll his eyes. It seemed illogical for the 'magic of Christmas' to cause all this love. Despite the eye rolls and eyebrow raises, he decided to watch one with a lady who stayed in town and met her high school love interest, who also found himself in town from the big city, which was a twist. Usually, the lover was in town as a plumber, so this made him scoot into his chair with his cookies and smoothie and watch the surprisingly enjoyable movies. The two had been friends but never noticed each other till they met on a stroll the night before Christmas and shared a spontaneous kiss under the mistletoe. The rest of the movie is filled with drama from his ex-lover and her father pressuring her into taking the family business. Then her ex-lover, her crush, reappeared, and he had to fight for her love. Nathaniel swore the movie didn't make sense even though he had a few scrunched-up tissues on his coffee table, and his pizza was halfway done. Once he stifled a yawn, he curled into bed, got up to turn up the heater and slept soundly.
Again, living through a regular workday was typical for Nathaniel, and today wasn't different. Except the buzz for the company party wasn't a buzz but a siren now because all conversations led back to it. His department head had bought them drinks, and the work day ended earlier than usual, letting him spend his afternoon sketching in the cafe.
"Hi, may I?"
"Sure," he said before looking up; she glowed. He forced himself to continue sketching- what? He looked up at her again. He noted a new hairstyle; her hair was in two low and coily pigtails.
"I came too early; they haven't made the cookies yet", she huffed, glancing longingly at the counter.
"Their cakes aren't bad," he replied, following her gaze; where was his natural charm?
"Yes, but I don't think my morning has begun without sugar cookies. Have you tried their cakes?"
He looked at her. Her hazel eyes looked enchanting, and the cafe light gave them a golden sparkle; he found himself picking colours in his head to capture it. "Once, they are good, but the cookies are the best; which one do you get?"
"The regular cookie and chocolate chipped cookie, how about you- wait, let me guess."
Nathaniel dropped the tablet and leaned back with arms crossed.
"The white chocolate swirls, and the regular"
Nathaniel coked his head jovially, "how the hell?"
"Well, you seem like someone that likes colours and blends, as an artist, and you seem like you like simplicity too- I-I guess."
Nathaniel smiled at her and chuckled a bit; she did, too. He always admired people who can observe so accurately, "I am an artist, actually, but I mostly do commissions and freelance gigs."
"Our, that sounds amazing when you tame the clients."
"Exactly," he mused and joined her chuckle, "When the client is done describing in the worst way, I make sense of it" he turned the tablet around to face her. "See, I am trying to capture nature; the client wants 'an earthy vibe'"
She stared at it, her eyes moving from one part of the screen to another, taking in the trees, clouds, birds and cocking her head at the bench, "do you ever just draw?"
He leaned back, and so did she, "not recently."
"No muse?"
"No muse"
They grinned at each other. Nathaniel let the silence pass involuntarily.
"Crafts are fun", she began, "You can see the crafter in them, I think" She tethered a bit before continuing, "I am a tailor, and I crochet."
"Ohh", he took in her outfit; under the open winter coat, he could see the woollen sweater and palazzo; he looked back at her. "Did you-" she nodded. He nodded back in awe.
She chuckled "yep."
"Do you have a muse?"
"More of inspiration, to recreate something, or I know what would suit someone."
"0rder 62" the salesperson called.
"Ouu, that's me. It's nice meeting you!" she strolled away, picked up her order, and smiled at him. When she was out the door and out of sight, he realised he didn't know her name or to contact her. Now, he continued his sketch half-heartedly.
By the time it was time for the party, he had gone to the gym for the first time that week and was now checking himself in the mirror; he knew this suit was the right choice. It complemented his tall gate and toned body; his sculpted face and facial features flowed into each other. People have called him pretty, sexy, hot. To him, it's what part of his body you see first... His facial features give him the glow of a pretty boy with a well-defined jawline. His two-toned lips make him 'hot', and his well-toned body warrants the sexy. He thought the night was young and had just begun, adjusting his suit and stepping into the elevator.
At the party, Nathaniel approached his colleagues, "Boss!" Jack called out.
"you guys have done it again, and I know you are carrying that department." Another chimed in.
"True that; I have tried to get him transferred to my branch, but Kenny won't give you up," another guy said with a sip of his drink.
"Well- I mean."
"Aay", they all chimed and patted his back while laughing. Nathaniel chipped into the conversation and turned around the room, greeting his colleagues and others he knew while getting called into conversations. Then he saw her; he felt the urge to blink a confirmation. She walked in, and heads turned; she was giving the security her long winter coat and revealed a gorgeous satin-trumpet dress in black with cape sleeves that had slits enough for them to give way to her arms but move up and down with them. She had her natural hair in a coily ponytail and finger-curled strands around her face. The dress hugged her curvy body in the right places. Her soft face arched with her perky lips into a cordial smile. All this came together into a lady who commanded the room with elegance.
"Ahh, finally, she has arrived", his CEO told him; he gently pulled Nathaniel in her direction.
"Anthony," she said in her soft-ravey voice that had an undertone of professional curtsy; she shook his hand, and he clasped hers in his, "This is a lovely party."
"It has to be to tempt people like you to grace us."
She shook her head and laughed, "One day, your charm won't work."
"Well, Hazel would agree; my charm didn't work on her, but I still made it down the aisle" They all chuckled with him, "ahh," he said, pulling Nathaniel closer. "You must meet Nathaniel."
He turned to face Nathaniel, "This is Luna, Luna, my dear, this is Nathaniel- a star worker that had made us richer" They joined his laugh once more, "if you excuse me, my dear", he retook her hand. "I must find my wife and introduce you."
He struts off into the crowd, and a couple more people instantly join them.
"We hoped to see you," one said
"And your dress? Dear, I hope this is in the next line!" the lady among them added.
"Well-"
With the look of confusion from some of the party, the man who initially spoke cut Luna short and began, "The youngest CEO of our time and the owner of Allcomer, a worldwide sensation."
They all turned to Luna, "Well, thank you, Kingsley-"
"What inspires such a unique name," a member of the parties said.
"It's a play-on-word with 'all come', which is what the brand stands for, and all are welcome into fashion.
A unified ooh filled the group, and one person chimed, "Ingenious!"
"And you are the Soleful Shoes star."
They all turned to Nathaniel, who had begun speaking when Anthony returned and held his shoulder. "Indeed, he is. He single-handedly designed some of our iconic and popular designs!"
Another outflowed through the party, "Now Luna, I am sure we are more alluring for that collaboration!"
Everyone joined in on his laugh. "Yes, I must admit," she responded, her eyes twinkling at Nathaniel.
"My wife." He said, gesturing to a lady in a long body-con dress and a shawl around her neck.
"Charmed to meet the lady that keeps Anthony on his toes!" Luna said while taking Hazel's hand into hers.
"Ohh, it is even more charming to meet you! And that I do."
Once again, everyone laughed, and Luna made to meet another party beckoning on her, "Let me know what you are Leaving Luna!" Antony chimed
Luna smiled her response before mingling with another group. All Nathaniel could do was wish he was at a bar where he could get drunk. The courteous laughs and planned mannerisms made him need a glass. After a few more socialising and half-hearted laughs, he made it to the drinks table.
"Are those good?" he heard Luna say, and he whipped around. Not trusting himself to speak, he nodded and took a sip. She reached for one and sighed.
"I guess I am not the only one that needed a drink."
Luna chuckled, "Parties have that effect on me. If I had my way, I would leave. But they all know that, so I will be accosted by Anthony if I try or some other person."
"You are a natural, though; I feel off here."
"It's no bar," she teased, "but the trick is simple: laugh with the older folk, smile courtly with everyone else and be diplomatic with your answers; it's all business, Nathaniel."
"Business hu? What deal was Anthony talking about?"
"We're still in the works for collaboration on a shoe, but I have to be sure I officially, well," she leaned closer to his ear ", want him as a part of my brand image."
"I understand that; I mean, the company has good pay and image, but it isn't as caring of the customers as you," he took her in once more and sipped his drink. You are quite the tailor."
"And you are quite the artist."
They raised their glasses to each other and laughed.
"Ahh Luna", a voice called, "I must steal you away to introduce you to someone."
He watched her leave and needed another drink. His ear still tingled from her breath close to him and her alluring scent… he took another sip and made his way to his friends, beckoning him.
Nathaniel didn't speak to her again the entire night; they only waved at each other and nothing more. The announcement time and his walking to the centre of the crowd to receive his award got him cheers; he felt his face redden when her saw her clap and give him a thumbs up. The CEO announced that his branch had the most profit and work done. Beginning the holidays with a good bonus was great, even if he had no plans for the season.
"Boss!" someone called. He reluctantly turned.
"Ahh", he took the speaker's outstretched hand with a clap; they tapped each other's shoulders.
"I was just telling Francis that if you didn't win, we roll again because how?"
Nathaniel laughed, "Y'all are reaching."
"How boss? Who met their monthly quota in 2 and a half weeks? That was a record, boss!"
Nathaniel shrugged, beaming.
"Now, who is reaching?"
They both laughed; Nathaniel glanced at where Luna was, empty. His gaze dropped before shooting up to another congratulator.
"Where are we going to celebrate? This year has been something!" A man said in between slurps. They were all at the indoor bar. Nathaniel could not understand how he got back, nor did he mind. He was smiling genuinely for the first time that night, not if you count-
"I say!" the man continued, jarring Nathaniel back to reality; he slurped again while others made impatient noises. He stuck out a finger.
"Every time" Jack rolled his eyes.
"Sorry- lets head to shakers; there is one down the street-"
When Nathaniel got home, he shook his shoes off, unbuttoned his blazer, flopped onto the bed, and snored all night.
Nathaniel knew his alarm didn't chime because he didn't set one, so he was ready to completely ignore the ringing until it started for the third time.
"Shoot," he exclaimed once he saw the caller and sprang off the bed, then flopped back after a wave of nausea and a throbbing headache.
"I am boarding", the caller announced immediately after the call went through.
"Okay, safe trip Nels"
"Why do you sound like that- thanks, can you drive like that?"
"Hmm? I won't drive, don't worry about it, safe trip- bye."
"Nath-"
He threw the phone on the bead and envisioned her eyes rolling at the phone. Then he reached to pick up the phone and check her landing time. Forty minutes is enough, right? He knew the answer to that, which is why he groaned long and hard and dragged his feet to the bathroom. Fighting nausea, he got ready and shuffled to the kitchen to force down a slice of plain bread. He wore his winter trench coat over his mismatched winter joggers and sleeves. He then pulled on his boots and put essentials in his pockets before leaving the house.
He trudged right back in to wait for his Uber.
"Nate! The flight was boring; my TV wasn't working, so I literally had to sleep to ASMR."
"Good to see you to Nels"
Nella entered Nate's outstretched arms and whispered, "Good to see you too, Nate."
"So," he began ruffling her hair, "where are your bags?"
"Delayed; they just started coming; I saw you," she shrugged, and Nathaniel followed her to the bag collation area. He waited for her to point out the bags and hoisted each one to her side.
"You know no one believes you could not find a ticket," she said while he rolled the third bag to her side.
"Any more? Can there be any more"
"Nate"
"Is there?"
Nella sighed, "Yes, it's small", she added after chuckling at his bewildered expression, "the pink one."
Nate pulled it off and loaded her bags on a trolly.
"Gosh, Trina just got off. Do you know she got this pink hoodie that is so cute- how are we going back?"
"You have a pink hoodie, I remember it, it's cute- uber."
Nella glanced at him and then her phone, "Nate, you didn't look for a ticket, did you?"
Nate looked around for the car, "I did."
"When"
Nathaniel spotted the car and stirred her in that direction, "January."
"Hello!" came an enthusiastic voice. Its owner searched for Nathaniel's hand and shook it enthusiastically, "Nathaniel, is it? I am Josh, I am your Uber today- and how are you?" he dropped Nathaniel's hand at this point and spun to need Nella.
Nella had scurried forward and waved nervously.
"Right! Let's get all the bags in the boot; let me help with that" he hurried over to Nathaniel and helped him heave one of Nella's boxes into the car trunk.
It took a minute of deliberation and removing one or two to re-arrange them before all her luggage fit in the car.
"Where is your car?" Nella queried the minute he shut the door.
"Borrowed Xander- you know Xander, we went to his wedding last summer."
"I know, Xander! His wife had that gorgeous dress- why?"
Nathaniel glanced from the driver to Nella, "he wants to use it for his honeymoon; he wants to drive to a new pale at least twice a week, sightseeing."
Nella huffed and leaned back, not taking her eyes off her brother, who started gazing at the trees till she spoke, "Isn't it too late for a honeymoon?"
Nathaniel shrugged, "I wasn't using it anyways."
"What of me?"
"Can you drive?"
The Uber driver smiled.
Nella huffed again and crossed her arms tightly, "but I am going places this Christmas!"
"We are in a car, aren't we?"
Nella huffed once more and browsed her phone; seconds later, she laughed and faced Nathaniel, "Have you read the family GC?"
"Am I on it?" he brought the phone closer to himself, "Wha- you know who has to fix it- oh God."
Nathaniel's phone vibrated, and Nella fastened her hand over her mouth to push back a laugh. Nathaniel shot her a be-quiet-look.
"Hey Jo-"
"Put on speaker", Nella mouthed, pointing at the phone. Nathaniel rolled his eyes and obliged.
"Hey Nate, what's good? Uh, have you seen the chat?"
"Nope, just picked up my phone."
Nella fastened her hand tighter, but her eyes danced cheekily from the phone to Nathaniel.
"So, er, Vik is, uh, he- well, he needs bail" Jo waited for a beat and proceeded tightly, "he was caught with drugs that aren't his! But planted on him-"
Nathaniel had a neutral expression, eyes darting from furious to pissed and annoyed again, "what did they say?"
"They will charge him, but his lawyer said we should get bail ready."
"How much?"
"He had a small amount, so- oh you- okay, 300 CSD at least."
Nathaniel looked away from the phone, "I'll see what I can do; get me the lawyer contacts Jo."
"Thanks, man, you are-"
Nathaniel cut the call. Nella glanced from Nathaniel to the driver and fiddled with her hand. The painful silence stretched till Nathaniel sighed.
"Are you in the mood for chick filé?"
Nella nodded vigorously. After some turns, they were finally at Nathaniel's apartment.
"Nels, roll what you can," he said after he and the driver put all the boxes on the curb.
"All right, have a good day", the driver called before zooming off.
"Welcome" Nathaniel gestured round his apartment once Nella closed the door.
Nella took in the room, she placed her hand on her hips and nodded in approval, "better than that Airbnb we stayed over the summer"
"And the old house with-"
"Mrs. Cupcake" Nella interjected with arms clasped to complete her mock lovely persona. She batted her eye lids and Nathaniel chortled.
"Whew, what a witch, I am convinced she had incantations"
"Juju is the word"
Nella caught Nathaniel's gaze and bellowed; Nathaniel shushed her while laughing himself. He walked from the kitchen and flopped on the couch beside her.
Nella snapped in his direction, "January Nate?"
Nathaniel smiled and picked up the remote, his eyes twinkled jovially, "yes Nels, so you see I did look for a ticket"
"At the beginning of the bloody month-year!" but she couldn't keep up the angry façade with Nathaniel's infectious snicker taking over.
"Oh God, Nels, isn't it better I am not there"
He looked at Nella now, she looked at him, "its not a simple answer and you know it. Everyone wants you there but doesn't because- well- it's you"
She punched his hand jokingly, "you might kill her husband" Nella lowered her head and sunk into the chair with smirk filled with melancholy creeping in, "I miss dad" she whispered.
She felt Nathaniel tighten up a bit and glanced nervously at him, "don't you?"
He looked at her trying to hide her sorrow behind this brave façade and leaned back with a sigh "yeah, he seemed fine when I spoke to him tho"
Nella shot up, "what? When did you speak to dad?"
Nathaniel stared at her, "it was long time ago"
This time she punched him,
He let out an accusatory "ouch"
She ignored this and said "When?" through barred teeth, "And what did he say?"
"I cannot-" one look at her stone-cold expression made him sigh and throw his hands up, "okay fine, it was in August, when you left, he called an unknown number, I cannot remember what he said"
"Don't play with me"
This time he rolled his eyes and threw his hands up again, "he said 'hey kiddo, it's been too long, I just wnted to check on you and know how you are? Hows Nella?' I said you were fine and I tried to ask him about- well everything and he said 'I love you gys, I do, but stay safe, I'll explain one day', and he cut the call"
"That doesn't sound like dad- that sounds odd"
"Well" Nathaniel replied smacking his hand on his knee. He stood up and stretched his legs, "it sounded like him, and so what if it's not him?"
That snapped Nella out of her thoughts, "so what? He could be in trouble 'hey kiddo?' 'I'll explain one day' those don't sound odd or dodgy or flat out fucked up?"
"Look Nells, you have to let go of this feeling that that man is coming back, he is a dead beat"
Nella stood up now, "after years f being a good dad?"
"Well, that's what happens, you were young so you may not Rember, that man was tired!"
"More reasons why he can't just leave!"
"He was tired" Nate walked to her and held her shoulders, "you know how our cousins are- no listen Nella"
Nella looked up at her, her eyes misty, "you're right, it does sound dodgy now I think about it, but that doesn't change the fat that he left, he could have called- what do you want me to do?".
Nella peered into his eyes, "call back, I know you didn't, call back, at least let's get closure"
Nathaniel let his hands drop, "fine"
He walked to his room and emerged after a minute with his phone. They sat on the dining table. Nella watched Nathaniel, her eyes darting from his phone to his face, tracking his every move, she sat completely still, and held her breath as the phone rang.
The line connected to dead silence before a deep unnatural voice called out "who is this?"
Nathaniel was petrified till he looked at Nella, he took in a dee breath, "who?"
"Nathaniel, can I speak to Gian"
Silence stretched before the voice spoke again, "this phone doesn't belong to anyone with that name, wrong number"
Nathaniel watched the phone lying flat on the table. This was meant to be closure? Could Nella be right?
"Can we go get chick filé now?"
Nate blinked at her before shooting up "hmm? Oh yes, okay so" he clapped his hands "are you-"
Nella nodded and got up, "now that you don't have a car, how do we?"
"We take the bus, the TTC bus is coming in..." he scanned his maps app, "five minutes, so let's relax"
Saying the word didn't feel right to him, isn't that what happens in movies. The question in his mind, among many, is who was that?
"I don't know how to feel, I want to say why did I face you but"
Nathaniel walked up to her and gave her a hug, "you are killing me"
He hugged her tighter then pecked her temple, "don't worry Nels, we will figure something out, now lets get chick filé, and stock up on some snacks"
"Do you have a plan?"
"I'll think of something" hopefully.