Chereads / GISEI: The Origins / Chapter 13 - Chapter 12: Unworthy

Chapter 13 - Chapter 12: Unworthy

Unconsciously and out of habit, Yasushi found himself back at the base of the Library's stairs. The distant sounds of the festival had faded, replaced by an eerie silence that seemed to envelop this secluded part of the palace. Eager to know where Kaname was, he headed up the stairs, his footsteps echoing in the stillness.

As he proceeded towards the double doors at the end of the hallway, Yasushi noticed a change. Unlike earlier, the hallway was fully lit, warm light spilling from the gaps around the doors. The oppressive darkness from before had vanished, replaced by an almost inviting glow.

Where's the guard?  Yasushi wondered, recalling the mysterious voice that had previously confronted him.

Reaching the door, his heart pounding, he pushed it open. The room beyond was a stark contrast to the emptiness he had originally encountered. Kaname sat in her bed, surrounded by her familiar belongings, reading a book with her teddy bear tucked beside her. The room around them was exactly as he remembered - shelves lined with books, toys scattered about, and the faint scent of patchouli that always lingered in Kaname's presence. Yet, despite the comforting surroundings, a nagging sense of unease persisted in the back of Yasushi's mind.

Noticing his unexpected entry, Kaname raised her head from the book. Her face lit up with a cheerful smile, eyes sparkling seeing him surprise her with a visit. "Yasu! I'm so happy to see you! Aren't you supposed to be at the festival?.... Oh, have you come to read me a story?"

The normalcy of the scene was almost jarring after the initial confusion. Elated to see Kaname and her room back to its usual state, Yasushi hurried over to her, uprooting her from the bed, and enwrapped her in a tight, but endearingly loving hug; the soft fabric of her nightgown rustling with the sudden movement.

Kaname's voice was muffled against his chest, panic evident in her tone as he nuzzled her firmly in his grasp, refusing to allow her to escape."Yasu...? Can't breathe! Can't breathe!"

Yasushi tightened his hold, burying her deeper into his chest, the emotions from earlier continued swirling within him. Observing her, his mind momentarily began to drift. The room was calm, the gentle glow of the bedside lamp cast long shadows across her furnishings. Kaname's books and toys lay scattered about. Her surroundings, simply a testament of her confined existence.

Kaname whispered, her voice barely audible. "Yasu?.... Tell me ...What's wrong?"

His voice cracked as he loosened his grasp. "Nothing, Kana. Everything is better now. I just really missed you." Relieved by Yasushi's suffocatingly tight embrace, Kaname exhaled deeply, catching her breath, looking towards him in confusion.

Yasushi gently placed her on the ground, the plush carpet muffling their movements. He took her hand, motioning her towards the ornate double doors. "Come! There's someone I'd like you to meet. There's not much time left at the festival, but ...we'll still be able to see the fireworks with everyone."

Kaname paused before pulling away, her silver hair catching the lamplight as she shook her head. "But, Yasu. I can't leave. I must stay in my room. You know this."

Yasushi stood still, his back to Kaname, ears turning red with frustration. The room appeared to grow smaller, the walls closing in as his anger built. His voice quivered with aggravation as he attempted to refrain from raising his voice at her. "Kana! Aren't you tired of being locked away and hidden?! Don't you want to have friends? I'm just trying to help you. So, let's go!"

 When Kaname remained silent, Yasushi's patience finally snapped. He violently grabbed her arm, dragging her towards the door. Kaname's protests emulated throughout the room, her voice quivering in resistance while searching for the words to convince Yasushi into adherence. "Wha... But... I....Yasu...Wait... Yasu! Wait! I'm in my nightgown. I can't go out like this. I can't leave! What if someone sees me?"

Yasushi, consumed by his emotions, pressed on. "Don't worry about it. No one will see you. They never do."

Suddenly, the atmosphere shifted. The room grew cold, the warm light dimming as if a cloud had passed over the sun. A shadowy figure in the form of a man, wearing the embroidered royal servant's uniform materialized before them, bowing with one arm across his chest. This abrupt appearance sent an unsettling chill through the air; his presence loomed heavily as if it were a silent reminder of the rules and consequences that governed Kaname's existence.

Without pause, the servant's familiar voice cut through the tense atmosphere, his words carrying a weight that filled the room. "Young Master, please excuse my intrusion. It's late. Kaname had a long day today and must be up before dawn to begin her individualized classes and training. Please allow her to get some rest."

Yasushi's face contorted with a mixture of humiliation, anger, and embarrassment, his earlier experiences rushing back. His voice shook with barely contained rage as he responded, "I only desire to watch the fireworks with Kaname. This is none of your business. Now, move!"

The royal servant stood straight and stepped aside, his movements fluid and deliberate. "As you wish, Young Master." His gaze then shifted to Kaname, his tone taking on a menacing edge. "But, Kaname... do keep in mind that the King and Queen will be very displeased if you disobey direct orders. Think about the consequences of your actions... You wouldn't want to cause them any unnecessary trouble, now... hmm?"

The servant's words lingered heavily in the air, the implicit threat clear. Fear crept into Kaname's eyes, her small form shrinking under the weight of the warning. In an instant, she yanked her hand from Yasushi's grasp with surprising strength, causing him to slightly stumble.

Yasushi turned, shock distinctly plastered on his face in the realization of Kaname's continued rejection. The room grew colder, the shadows deeper. Kaname stood firmly in silence. She kept her gaze fixed on the floor, unable to meet Yasushi's bewildered eyes. Her reluctance left a palpable stillness in the room, thick with unspoken words and conflicting emotions.

The royal servant's voice slithered, his words dripping with satisfaction. "Mmmhhmm... good girl," he aspirated as he positioned himself behind Kaname, placing both hands on her small shoulders. His crimson eyes locked onto Yasushis', a look of contentment spreading across his face. "Shall we inform the Young Master against such late-night activities?"

Kaname remained silent, her body tense under the servant's grip. His hands tightened on her shoulders, the gesture unmistakable - a response was not optional. Understanding the unspoken command, Kaname slowly lifted her head to face Yasushi.

With a compliant bow, Kaname spoke, her voice not even above a whisper. "Yasu... thank you so much for thinking of me, but it would be inappropriate to leave. I'm very tired and I have training in the morning. I can't disobey my superior's directions. So, please... go without me."

At that moment, Yasushi felt the sting of rejection morph into a deep sense of betrayal. His composure began to crumble as he stepped forward towards her, his voice tinged with desperation. "B... but, Kana... don't you wanna see the fireworks and be around everyone else? I'm just trying to help you. This guy is nothing but a servant! Mom and Dad will understand! Everything will be okay! I'll protect you. Besides...Aren't ...Aren't you lonely?"

An icy wave breeze unexpectedly engulfed the room, interrupting Yasushi's plea. The royal servant's voice dropped low, heavy with annoyance. "Young Master, it's time for you to go. Kaname needs her rest." His crimson eyes glowed with intensity frustrated by Yasushi's persistence.

Ignoring the servant's glare, Yasushi stomped his foot causing the flooring to tremble. He continued his focus on Kaname as she released her bow, pointing forcefully towards the door, eyes wide with a burning demand for acceptance. "KANA!!?!!"

Kaname turned away, her back now to Yasushi, a final silent refusal of his request. The coldness of the room now unbearable, the shadows deepening as the distance between the two children widened.

Yasushi, no longer able to contain the tumult of emotions within him, felt his composure slipping away. The weight of the night's events - the earlier humiliation, the joy of finding Kaname, and now this crushing rejection and betrayal - all came crashing down upon him. His fists clenched at his sides, body shivering with anger, hurt, and confusion, as he stood on the edge of losing control.

Then, as if a cord was struck, Yasushi's composure shattered, his words lashing out like poisonous daggers. "Psft... You're nothing but an embarrassment. A joke! What's the point of having a wife who's locked in a cage, hidden from the world."

I JUST WANTED MY FRIENDS TO KNOW YOU EXIST. THAT YOU'RE REAL! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CARE FOR YOU!

He took another step forward, his expression matching the coldness of the room. "You bore me, Kaname. You're useless, and now...I want nothing to do with you."

HUH? WHAT AM I SAYING?... THAT'S NOT TRUE

Kaname grabbed onto the servant's shirt, pressing her face deeper into the fabric. Seeing her reaction, Yasushi cruelly smirked, his words growing more venomous. "Even the adorable Megumi has a birth element, while you still struggle with the basics. I'd much rather pursue her! There's no doubt she'll become a better wife than you could ever hope to be."

I CAN'T STOP MYSELF! ...BUT...THIS IS ALL HER FAULT...WHY WON'T SHE LOOK AT ME!

Yasushi steadily continued to motion towards Kaname, reaching out to her with every word seeped in hostility. "You're pathetic. You disgust me. And you'll never account to ANYTHING! The only thing you'll ever be good for is laying on your back!"

The royal servant shouted, swiftly slapping his arm away. "That's enough, Young Master!" He then grabbed Yasushi by the shirt, dragging him from the room. As Yasushi was pulled away, his eyes remained fixed on Kaname's back. She turned to watch him leave, revealing an expression that caused Yasushi's heart to plummet, instantly extinguishing his anger.

DAMN IT... SHE'S... SHE'S CRYING...

Before Yasushi could respond, he was thrown from the room, the door slamming shut in his face. Taking a few moments to replay the events, he stood up, dusting himself off, his eyes glaring at the closed door, questioning whether or not he should re-enter.

 With a heavy sigh, he shoved his hands in his pockets and turned to leave.

Crap... What did I just do? I didn't mean any of that... I didn't mean to hurt her.

The hallway seemed longer and darker as Yasushi made his way back towards the Library's stairs. His movements immersed with regret. The weight of his words and actions pressed down on him with every step.

I went too far...I need to apologize... but when...

The distant sounds of the festival felt hollow now, a grim indication of the joy Kaname was missing and the pain he'd caused her. Yasushi stopped towards the end of the hallway and slapped his cheeks with both hands; the act allowed him to calm down and think clearly.

That's right!! She has instructions before dawn. I'll just talk to her then.

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