On my seat at the banquet table, I had to admire the effort that went into the feast laid before me. I knew first-hand how tedious bureaucracy was to work with, so arranging something like this on such short notice was an impressive feat.
There was the problem of planning the menu, sourcing the food, coordinating the chefs, prepping the room… many elements needed to mesh perfectly for this to come together.
Perhaps I hadn't given enough credit to that old king. While the task of managing a kingdom may be beyond his ability, Ramposa was undoubtedly experienced in appeasing high nobility, and it showed here.
If the Ramposa made such an effort, it was only fair that I reciprocated.
Lavish as the table was, the meal wasn't overly complicated—a simple mix of standard and exotic. I was told the range was imported from around the continent, a selection of fruits, vegetables, spices, and animal meats from foreign lands. A modest serving of roast pig, carrots, and potatoes half-finished sat on my plate.
I didn't have a single criticism, nor did Clementine or Zesshi.
Contrary to the formal setting, they ate unashamedly, relishing in everything on offer, not an attempt made to control their greedy, voracious appetites.
In her usual fashion, Clementine avoided the vegetables like the plague, almost comically. A small section on her plate was cordoned off, a narrow stretch of empty space separating the huge pile of protein from the greens.
Interestingly, Zesshi was less picky about her food. Whether the Theocracy didn't bother providing her with a gourmet diet, or just a product of her personality, she happily ate without complaint.
Zesshi's appetite was more a hunger for taste. Carefully inspecting the food before she ate—it was as if each bite was her first, chewing slowly, savouring each spoonful. Although she maintained a stoic façade, her face was glowing with muted enthusiasm. After the Theocracy betrayed her trust, my promise being fulfilled must've felt quite refreshing.
Clementine, on the other hand, was just hungry… and hungry. When she ate, she ate. Despite being informed by numerous people that her fighting style was 'refined', I saw no such grace here. She shovelled calories into her mouth endlessly, the food disappearing into the abyss.
And although she gave the impression she was focused on her meal, I was unconvinced. Clementine's eyes wandered from me to Renner and back again every so often, a mischievous grin appearing momentarily before disappearing just as fast. She wanted to say something… or perhaps had some scheme in mind. Clearly, she was entertained by whatever it was, but I didn't sense any hostile intent, so left it at that.
Seated next to each other, it struck me how different they were. The two were combat-obsessed, Theocracy defectors—prideful ones at that—I maybe expected them to have similar culinary preferences. However, after having known Clementine for years and travelling with Zesshi for just over a month, I can safely say they are very much their own individuals.
Watching them eat was a feast for the eye in its own way.
And, beside me, Renner.
Under the stern gaze of the king, every move was scrutinised as I attempted to interact with his daughter. How was I supposed to court her in this kind of setting?
I distinctly remember never being taught such a thing during my tutor sessions. Courting a noblewoman? I didn't know the first thing.
While it's true that we've already vowed to wed each other regardless, appearances needed to be maintained for the king's sake. All five of us sitting head-down and fixated on our plates was not constructive towards this goal.
Usually, Renner is a great conversationalist… that is, when we were alone. There wasn't much for me to work with once she's adopts her 'princess' persona. While I'm sure Renner could simply command Ramposa again if I screw up, I didn't want any more of my mistakes being cleaned up after me.
I'd make this courting session a success by my own doing. The king would leave this hall seeing me as the perfect bachelor to go with his daughter, no brainwashing required.
I furrowed my brows in search of a plan of action. And just as I did so, Clementine leapt at the opportunity, my contemplation seemingly the signal she was waiting for.
"You two."
She lifted her fork and pointed it towards us, the four prongs directed accusatorily at Renner and me, her voice dripping with sweet amusement.
A foreboding shiver ran down my spine as a Cheshire grin spread across her face.
"You two… did something naughty last night, right?"
A punch to the face. That is what the question felt like. It was as if I stopped breathing, and her coy smirk melted into one that was both sadistic as it was delinquent.
My eyes darted to the head of the table, Ramposa wide-eyed, looking ready to suffer an aneurysm from Clementine's blunt remark.
What was she thinking!?
Fully prepared to blurt out the standard, 'of course not!', I stopped myself. As soon as I opened my mouth, I knew instinctively that the conversation would spiral out of control—something she was eagerly anticipating.
"…"
I found myself unable to break the sudden tension that enveloped the room.
A complete denial would be met with scepticism, and merest acknowledgement would compromise the king's dignity.
Regardless, why was our private life a subject of inquiry?!
Renner's unamused glare pierced through Clementine for a second before readopting her cutesy guise.
I need to think… how to deflect this.
The inquisitor's grin grew wider, her face turning ever so slightly red in cruel pleasure at my suffering.
Chaotic. Fucking. Evil.
Don't blame me when I toss you at Ainz the first chance I get.
Tentatively, I repositioned the silverware on my end as I spoke. Keep the response simple, don't give anything to build upon.
"We didn't."
I kept my voice steady, maintaining eye contact with Clementine. There would be no use in trying to avoid the topic, so I wanted to end this before it escalated.
Motioning with her hands and clutching herself, Clementine left nothing to the imagination.
"Ah~, but last night Renner invited you to her bedchambers… and this morning… you two acted so intimately with each other~" she cooed.
When the hell did she see us together?
My stomach did another uncomfortable spin.
"No," I replied, voice just a bit too high.
Clementine burst into laughter, kicking her legs and leaning back far into her chair.
Seeing my plight, Renner decided to provide some assistance.
"Umm… we did kiss a little… and we aregetting married, so we talked about what kind of rings we were going to exchange... that's all we did…!" She squeaked the last bit.
If I didn't know any better, I wouldn't be able to tell that Renner was lying. Blinded by her feigned innocence, I tried not to let anything show on my face.
Clementine's eyes narrowed at Renner's quiet admission. Here, everybody but the king knew Renner wasn't that naive, so her suspicion was well-earned.
Slowly and carefully, Clementine toyed with the food on her plate, rolling it over with her fork. A ghost of a smirk flickered across her face, telling me she wasn't done yet.
No matter how rational my argument, her painted fantasy would triumph over any dull truth I'd present. The conversation had already gone too far, and I didn't need Clementine retaking the initiative.
Therefore, I decided to go along with Renner's less-risque idea.
"…We definitely talked about rings. We were all about the rings, right Renner?"
Renner stared at me with disappointment as I poorly improvised my way around the narrative. However, instead of saying anything, she simply nodded her head in agreement as Clementine continued to ridicule us.
"Hahaha! Is that really your alibi?"
As we continued to defend ourselves, Zesshi, in her infinite wisdom, decided this was the perfect moment to chime in.
"Hm. Since everyone seems to have strong feelings about rings, how does it sound if you two, you know, go shop for rings together?"
…
Somehow, out of everything that could be said, that was what killed the conversation's momentum.
The following silence made me feel like we were at a funeral, not a banquet. Zesshi seemed troubled by the period of mourning that followed, and decided to continue on with her meal instead.
The conversation now ended, we found ourselves back at square one, with one small difference: the overwhelmingly awkward atmosphere hanging over us.
Whether Clementine had achieved the outcome she was looking for, I could not tell. She looked torn between revelling in our predicament or being annoyed at Zesshi for cutting her fun short.
As for Renner, there was not a trace of embarrassment in her eyes. Instead, the look in her eyes was as chilling as anything. Perhaps Clementine had overstepped her boundaries with that one. With a gesture, Ramposa slumped over in his chair, like a puppet losing its strings.
"I think you've enjoyed yourself enough today, Clementine."
Renner lifted her teacup to her lips with casual aplomb, perfectly at ease. With no effort on her part, she had defused the situation.
The awkward atmosphere had utterly vanished, but what replaced it was something entirely different.
Ramposa unresponsive at the end of the table; Renner drinking her tea, Clementine sulking, and Zesshi… still eating. If this scene were ever reproduced, not even a master craftsman would be able to capture the surrealness of this moment should they spend over a century on canvas.
And yet, despite all that, Clementine was still determined to apply one final coat of varnish to complete the work.
"Heeeeh… you're no fun," she complained, proceeding to deliver the most bored, exaggerated, and overacted sighs I've ever witnessed. Naturally, she was the type of person to drag us through the depths of hell with a smile plastered on her face before ever admitting it was a bad idea to venture there in the first place.
I could only stare silently at the scene around me.
Suppose this was to be taken as a fair representation of humanity's best. In that case, I could safely say that this race was on the verge of catastrophe. It was far more likely that the apocalypse spawn in this very banquet hall than this place being the genesis of anything good.
Having experienced the horror of even low expectations crushed at a world-record pace, I was beginning to dread the prospect of having Clementine tagging along with us. Nazarick's NPCs would not take kindly to her… predispositions.
At last, after two minutes that dragged on like a lifetime, Zesshi placed her utensils down, wiped her face clean, and then turned to speak in a completely conversational tone.
"Mm. Certainly, this was more enjoyable than anything the Theocracy would serve."
…
A voice of reason against all the commotion, or utterly oblivious to what had unfolded around her. Whatever it was, I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.
It was a solemn feeling, knowing that these tranquil days were numbered.
My mind exhausted, I leaned against Renner, arms wrapping around her middle. Burying my head against her shoulder, the gentle, warm motion of her breathing echoed in my mind reassuringly.
I had gathered this group to prepare for Nazarick, and now, the same Nazarick threatens to take away what I had come to treasure most.
I could choose not to get involved—to stay out of their way. Would that not be such a simple ending? Spend our days far away in the Argland Council State, insignificant citizens beneath notice.
"And yet?"
A voice in my ear, not encouraging, neither disparaging. Completely impartial, readily accepting whatever decision I made. The sound of my closest ally that might as well have been my heartbeat.
Renner knew what I was thinking. She understood I wanted this to last forever.
However, she also knew that my question had already been answered.
Letting Ainz Ooal Gown decide the course of this world. Leaving Suzuki Satoru alone…
Well…
Indeed.
Clementine put it best.
…
That would be no fun.
[Wave Function Collapse] – Presents the user with a tree of possible immediate futures. Increasing the other abilities broadens available futures shown. Increasing skill proficiency allows the user to see further into branches
Current depth limit: 5 seconds
AN: I'm back.
In my opinion, a light-hearted scene is necessary before we move onto the more serious part when Nazarick finallyshows up (how many times have I said this now?). I'll do my best to keep the group's interactions interesting. Clementine is a bit of a wild card, and her energy is bound to cause the party trouble sooner or later.
As a side note, Zesshi was fully aware of what was going on. Though, she was disappointed that her joke seemed to fall flat. She did enjoy the food, however.
Timeskip after this… maybe. Depends on my mood next time I sit myself down in front of an empty word doc.