Honestly, love works in mysterious ways, sometimes, sometimes it's to a large degree like giving someone a large bouquet of flowers or a small amount that makes someone smile that you barely talk to. I've never really trusted people too much, especially after years of seeing girls who wanna jump into a relationship that has not been truly established or even in a friendly manner either. I've never considered that romance or healthy but more importantly VERY toxic. I don't know, maybe it's because I grew up in the 90s and have seen many romantic movies where a good woman or a good man steps up and makes a fairytale into reality on a Good Hallmark Romcom / When Harry met Sally level scale. Before I knew it, Spring came but getting back into a relationship wasn't in the cards. My EX who goes by Cristen, A gamer, A homebody, weirdo chaser & A mother. Why a relationship with the mother of a 7 year old girl that I've seen only 2 or 3 times in person? Well I felt like there was no avoiding it. She loves and adores me but even before she had her daughter, I felt neglected by her, honestly I am only thought of when she needs me. I should know, my mom's mood swings from neglectful to caring all the time in my life. You'd think that that's it then since I'm in a long distance relationship with my on and off girlfriend of 12 years? Also thinking that there are wedding bells to it…. Hate to break it to you reader but even if I talk to her, Cristen doesn't realize that she still has this idea that she can do no wrong so I might as well just play alone, it's easier that way. Especially since I doubt that explaining this to her will help any, it's just gonna lead to more arguments in the future so just breaking up is not in the cards (never was to be honest because just trying to block someone or avoid them was a hassle in of itself). Why you may ask? Cristen will always try to find a way for us to stay together or find a way for us to continue communication, so what can I do? Indeed this was not the romance that I was looking for….. However, things got VERY interesting and began to happen at work….. I really don't get many things or appreciation too much but I do get that from my coworkers and even from patients even though I'm not feeling much love in my own relationship but getting love from coworkers definitely makes up for it. In fact a few days ago, I was helping out with one of the newer coworkers. All of a sudden I noticed a very pissed off Mei, if she was a teapot steam would be coming out of her ears from how mad she was. I could tell she hated how she was treated and I didn't like how she was treated either. Once the two of us were alone, I tried to figure out what was going on; turns out people were taking advantage of her own kindness and she was going through her own problems in life along with her workplace. The more we talk, the more I begin to understand her. I looked at her more than just another woman as I could not help but look at her differently…. I don't know how to explain it but seeing her frame to where she wasn't an overly busty pair of breasts or having a large rear end along with her piercings above her lip to even her eyes. Mei isn't perfect nor is she some Instagram model level woman or some saint, however I'd say that without a shadow of a doubt that Mei is her own beauty & there was no doubt about that. "I don't know what's going on in the office or what they're doing to piss you off but you need to know that you're needed. You probably don't know how much you needed here but you are just such a dedicated person. The patients know it and I know it too. You've helped so many people including myself when it came to training as you're literally becoming the glue of this place while Jay keeps literally the nail that keeps the team together." Seeing her smile indeed made my day as I could honestly feel a little bit of that anger lifting off of her. "Awe~ thanks Shemp, that's so sweet of you. I gotta say you do an amazing job as well as the patients think so too." Honestly I didn't believe it when Mei told me all of that, especially since I don't really have much encouragement in myself. Something told me that she could see it even though I could not help but smile as she was smiling. What caught me off guard the most was when Mei walked up to me closely, got on her tippy toes just to lay one on me... She kissed me... Mei The most beautiful woman I've ever seen sure she is not over the top beautiful but she is beautiful, kissed me….. Getting kissed by Mei was indeed like a genie in a bottle moment, it was out of nowhere, out of this world, out of many leagues. If I would never believe that it would be even close to possible. Before you start thinking of myself or her as horrible people let me set the record straight:
Honestly I was told that if I broke up with my current girlfriend I would probably be shot on sight by her mom's fiancé even though I'm being neglected.
The only reason why I'm in a relationship with her now is because she has always told me that she would not want anybody else but me in her life including her daughter's life. In fact even her mom considered me a better choice than the other guys she has dated.
Besides me and her are in a relationship that's a long distance compared to us being around each other from December 2013 all the way up to July of 2017.
The worst part is Cristen never truly apologizes for what she's done to me and those around me for her actions.
No, Mei & I didn't french kiss or any type of long makeout session, I actually just made that up as it was just something In the Heat of the Moment that I was thinking about but that never happened so don't worry your precious little head thinking that I cheated or something like that when I wasn't her type to begin with .
In those moments I really thought that there was a chance to possibly get to know her and get into a relationship but deep down in my mind I knew better as I've dated so many people like Mei. It was hard to get past every new obstacle and opportunity. It felt like more and more times I felt like I was failing to reach the end. Days turned into a week, a week turned into a month… I was tired…. Tired of not feeling completely loved, tired of getting rejected and discriminated against just because of someone else's misdeeds. It wasn't sadness nor was it disappointment, it was something stronger that I would later figure out what….. It was depression with a side of despair. It only got worse when I found out that another woman that I care about not only got dumped by her boyfriend for such a long time but already found a replacement…. Truly felt like I'm not even close to the contender on anybody's list or even a golden opportunity….. that's what I thought anyway but as the months went by things just got more and more difficult at work to where I felt like things were either hard paying bills or the cost of living. Luckily, every cloud has a silver lining when I met a woman named Regina from Colorado. Well I can't really say we met since we mostly talked online like many women before her who promised the world and back but all they were really offering was cheap words without the bag of chips. I was promising the world and back while she was talking about how her life was a nightmare when it came to her family who supposedly despised her and wanted her to be miserable. She was spiraling out of control and I offered my couch for her to stay on which led to us talking about more…. 3 months, 3 months of talking in 2 months of dating and I was really trying my hardest to show her that there was more out there but I guess her mind was not fully capable of understanding what I was saying unless it was appealing to her…. She couldn't even realize that I was even trying to work harder for the two of US!!! Somehow someway I ended up taking her back and trying to work through things as if I was the problem but I continued smiling. Truly, I felt the second hand cringe from my own words, somehow it got worse or a golden opportunity came my way when my friend from 3rd Shift told me about a job in the mountains where it was to clean a log cabin and search / help any hikers that might have gotten lost. I thought about it as I've never been hiking like that before and it was indeed a great opportunity especially since I had recently got my license from some hard work and dedication but thinking about my bills plus knowing that I might end up alone regardless, it was an all or nothing situation….. I took my friend up on his offer and before I knew it he had driven me up to the mountains to get started on my new job where I would be staying up there for a while. Not knowing that I would not be coming back down the same….. In the mountains of Asheville, North Carolina, it truly seemed nice at first as the people were nice and it was quiet and gave me a sense of purpose as I put in my sick days and had some time off from work to be in the mountains…. My boss at that time was named Jimbo Wyatt, A southern man who had a lot of ties in Asheville and North Carolina in general. Nice guy and seem to be good with children as it felt like I could relate to him and as the days went by he be in the trust me to take care of the place whenever he was out doing patrol or having to go down the hill side, but he would never allow me to go down with him for some reason. He would always make an excuse or give me some type of reassurance that he could do it himself or have help from the other boys that were working there at the same time I was or even been there longer than I. It didn't upset me enough to have me follow but it got my curiosity brewing. After two weeks however, I had an itch that needed to be scratched when it came down to wanting to know what was going on?! Jimbo was not telling me anything neither was anybody else as I felt like a true outsider even though I was as I've been in North Carolina for only a year and people still looked at me like I was a yeti. So when Jimbo went out to do some patrol work I ended up going into his office when no one was around and checking out the place. His office was tidy as if I was in a normal log cabin office as it wasn't too big and it wasn't too small. It even had an old fashion closet TV so he could watch his games which made me giggle. But the moment I was about to close my curiosity and give up something in me felt a cold chill go down my spine. A whisper was telling me to stop and go to the closet. I didn't know where it was coming from because no one was there as things just felt way too spooky for me but regardless I needed to know what was in that closet. With heavy steps I walked towards the closet and with shaky hands turned the knob slowly counter clockwise just to find…"What the fu-" I was suddenly struck in the back of the head with something hard before I could finish my sentence and fell to the ground instantly and when I looked up, Jimbo stood over me before everything went dark….
I felt like I was in a never ending ocean of possibilities. It was clear waters until it felt like something or someone was dragging me down to the darkest depths that no man wants to discover as I was trying to stay afloat trying to get to the surface but it kept on dragging me harder and harder as glimpses of memories there were fragments of my mind. Before I could go all the way down to the bottom and find out who was dragging me down with all these arms pulling me and tearing at any fragments of my body! I woke up to a splash of water to my face from the left then a punch to my face from the right. I was now in a dark room with the lights pointing at me and men along with women all hidden within the shadows but I was lucky enough to be able to see them and their images. My face felt like hamburger as I could tell that they had done some damage to me as some of my teeth had been knocked out along with maybe a couple ribs broken. My jaw hurt as I could not speak as they might've dislocated it from the punch. Jimbo came from out of the shadows along with another man that I had no idea who it was but he looked very much familiar but then it hit me remembering how I got in the situation. I was in front of the Leader Of The Ku Klux Klan!! One of the most racist groups in America & the most dangerous group if caught. Jimbo tried to speak but was stopped by the man beside him as it turned out that he was one of the most known reverents in the state of North Carolina named Father Smith. Helped many hospitals and baptized many babies and gave lessons to many people but always stayed true to the cult that is his fellow man. "My man here tells me that you've been snooping around where you don't belong. I do apologize for the fact that you are not supposed to work up here and I truly believe that your kind should've stayed where you were needed as I hear that you were working in the hospital as if you were picking cotton and taking care of our own as that was good work. However coming up here and trying to figure out what we do was NOT a smart move. We're a very peaceful bunch of people and we try to stay low profile, not needing any outside help that isn't our kind. We also heard from a friend of yours but it was a good idea of the colors and it's hard to invite you which we hold nothing against him but I guess you didn't see him as a friend while y'all saw him as someone who you could use. Don't worry, I don't blame you."
Father Smith took out a gun from his back pocket, loaded it bullet by bullet, spun the chamber until it made a clicking sound where he pointed the now loaded gun at my head. I was pissing my pants as I could hear snickers from the others in the shadows as what was running down my face as fear truly was coursing through my mind but something in me almost accepted it as if it was an honor of passage. Begging and pleading in my head as the words kept playing over and over screaming and shouting for him to just pull the fucking trigger! "I don't blame you….I Blame Him!!" Jimbo did not expect to hear that before getting shot square in the shoulder as he backed away bleeding heavily. Father Smith was furious and was shouting so much profanity to Jimbo that not even I could keep up as he shot Jimbo every time he had messed up in the past and every single last person of African descent or Asian or Mexican or anyone that had stumbled upon the all white robe and mask that was for ceremonial purposes only. Turns out there was supposed to be a ceremony that very night but it turned into this… The second to last bullet was shot in his pecker because in the past he had fornicated with black woman who he not only slept with but also got pregnant. The more I listened the more I felt bad for Jimbo but after hearing all of this I felt true mixed emotions. The last bullet that could have easily killed him was put down on the ground for Jimbo to redeem himself. He was told that he would have to start back at the bottom and work his trust back up by finding more followers across the United States before the month is over or they will find him and kill him along with the rest of his Caucasian family. Finding out that he not only was an asshole of a boss for this but he also cheated on his wife truly hit the nail on the head to where even I was sympathizing with the enemy. Weird huh. Jimbo was dragged away as his arms and legs were now useless along with his groin to where he would probably never be able to have sex again. Now all that reminded me was five of the remaining members of the high counsel within the KKK and Father Smith, all simply staring me down as if I was the main course. "Please have mercy as I swear I will not tell anyone please don't kill me show some humility like Jesus fucking Christ!" I was punched hard in the face by Father Smith. "We do not use the Lords name in vain in this fucking state so watch your goddamn fucking mouth, nigger." Blood was gushing from my mouth as I knew I'm probably going to die even though a part of me was terrified while another part of me wanted to laugh at how hard the priest hit me. My head was spinning and my ears were ringing as I could barely understand what the others were mumbling but it might've just been my imagination but it was almost like I could see the dead. It was only for a split moment before their images disappeared from my line of you, it's amazing what you see when you have a few broken ribs and A destroyed jar. Once my hearing began to come back, Father Smith stepped forward after discussing with the others, he whispered in my ear something that I would never forget and it still leaves chills down my spine. "Consider yourself lucky nigger, we're not gonna kill you just yet. Oh no no no, we're gonna have our fun with you and we're gonna send you free like a wild animal down the mountain and if you can make it back to civilization then my hat will be off to you in now I'll even send you your paycheck in the mail in a few days but if you can't then your ass good ass dead." When he said that he made it as if I was not injured and was able to get through this without a problem. Turns out they didn't wrap me in rope because in reality they had wrapped me in barbed wire. I hadn't moved a muscle size after pissing myself for what seemed like an hour ago or more. It felt like they were ripping my hair out of my head but on every inch of my body as I screamed as the wire ripped off of my body like a serpent pulling at my ligaments. I could see their smiles at my pain as I ran as fast as I could, the doors were open with the light of the Moon hovered over her head. Once I ran out of there a whistle was called from inside which said even more feet on my way just for a voice to tell me to run as I didn't know if it was a ghost or just my head playing games with me once more but quickly ran when the dogs started barking, running my way. I was running for my life well holding my jaw that felt like it was ripping off of my face with the dogs running after me. These were normal dogs, these were the ones that you see the police having along with Siberian huskies. Fear was the least thing on my mind as I was just trying to survive at every corner. I felt like I was getting closer and closer to death as it felt like I was in hunger games based on the fact that it wasn't only the dogs that were after me….The KKK were in pursuit, riding dirt bikes and cars on the roads and having their guns in full arms ready to go and me down. I was hiding and seeking all night trying to survive and even knocking out a few of them they got sloppy. I did get shot in the nose and my leg cards on a bear trap and don't even get me started on trying to avoid land mines. Watching way too many movies really did come in handy because anything that seemed way too easy to me, mentally speaking these thoughts became my safe haven in my mind but something always told me that it's not over. It's amazing what you do when you have to survive from using duct tape to keep your mouth intact, using anything to make sure that you're breathing or not bleeding out to death. From fighting off animals to probably having snake bites on me and even mosquito bites the boot, lucky me. Honestly, I tried to believe I was Home Free when I made it down the mountain when the sun was coming up, then however that was just the adrenaline talking once I saw civilization. Found myself limping into a small town like a zombie on the loose. Difficult to walk & difficult to stay focused without feeling like all eyes were on me. I'd walk into a nearby diner that on the outside looked like something out of the 80s but when you walked in it was southern themed within it. Ever since I walked into the small town which was unknown to me, many people looked at me as if I was public enemy number one but it didn't matter because all I wanted at that moment was something to drink that didn't smell like my own. I sat next to none other than Father Smith, I didn't have a look of shock or tears because I had a feeling that this was going to be the case regardless. "Get this boy some water as he earned it after the hell he's been through." Father Smith said leading to one of the waitresses is bringing me a glass of water as I didn't have much to say. I couldn't even talk as I could feel my heart pounding through my chest, it felt as if it was going to explode at any moment. From the venom coursing through my body to just the thought of the fact that this is all that I was worth, just a glass of water and a pad on my shoulder as if I was just some beaten dog taking a little longer to be put out of his misery... My whole life was led up to this moment... " I gotta say I'm impressed you made it this far despite the fact that you're bleeding heavily and probably will die in a few hours. No worries though as the rest of you will be used in one way or another, so be grateful that God is lending you my words of mercy." Hearing that from this man who has probably killed over 100 Black people or tortured them to death made me sick to my stomach so I reached into my mouth and barked up blood onto the table before writing with my middle finger:
F
U
C
K
U
Seeing words in bold letters made Father Smith extremely irritated but what really sent him over the edge was the fact that it put a smile on my damaged face. Father took a deep breath, seeming like he was going to relax just for him to quickly grab my head, slamming it over and over onto the table within the diner until my nose was utterly obliterated. Quickly, Father Smith whistled for his associates to hold me down as they were hiding in plain sight as this whole town knew of what was going on. I was just a deer caught in a trap and went out too far during hunting season or in simpler terms a bird that flew too close to the sun. Anyway, Father Smith was so angry that he got the cook to give him a cutting knife so he could cut off my finger that I used to write my message. " I tried making it easy on you but now you have pushed me over the edge as of now you are considered property of science. You're dead to the world, no knowledge of what has transpired will be concealed…" Father Smith put on a gas mask along with everyone else before a type of fuel filled the entire place. It was a set up from the very start as this was all planned out, I started feeling kind of loopy. Kept hearing those voices again but this time I was seeing ghosts around me showing that I wasn't the only one to make it this far as their fates were much different as I could see the way that they died from either a group attack or an all out shoot out as the idea of someone truly going to that length to hurt another human being is sickening. Not so surprising when I tried to run, Father Smith put me in a headlock while stabbing into my chest with a weird looking knife. My vision was fading along with the rest of my will as a couple of guys in white hazmat suits came barging into the diner…. Once again, everything faded to black…. I didn't know if it was days, months or years at the time, all I knew was pain and tests…. Everything hurt as I felt myself wrapped in bandages and soaked in water for a time just to be taken out and demanded knowledge on where my family was but I was not willing to give that information out in the slightest so they had no choice, or a lack of Common Sense, but to put through the worst experiences of my life:
Day 1 - Shock Treatment that went on for 24 hours & Bring Me Back To Life with some type of elixir that would of course do my bloodstream.
Day 3 - White Brainwashing and insects of many kinds crawling within my body.
Day 13 - Dissection for hours as they picked up my brain, leading to me having memories removed!!
Day 24 - Mutation injections & electro shock therapy!!!
Day 35 - Mutation Testing & simulation survival training!
Day 46 - Chemical Testing & Waterboarding!
Day 57 - Moved to an underground base filled with others like me & began new testing. (Fun -_-)
Day 69 - More Mutation and brainwashing (Even more fun -_-*)
All I can say is that fucking hurt, my body felt like it went through 50 rounds with prime Mike Tyson BEARFISTED with no rest, dealing with the human centipede program along with a Xenomorphs ALL AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!! Hell does not express how much pain I was in as I truly felt like my body was not no longer my body anymore. I truly understand the true definition of pain & suffering. All these tests / traumatic experiences made me miss my family even though they were barely moments of love there were still moments of care, however I would be damned if I ever exposed where they are and hope that they would never try to look for me. Then the day came where they did something different to me since it seemed I was not giving them the information that they wanted, let alone holding out longer than they predicted. So they tried to give me more mind control but this time it came with a gadget that made me watch more television while causing radiation to my eyes…. You can probably guess what happened next… Call me Eyeless Jack because I honestly lost those brown eyes….. Couldn't see anything, with the fact that my nerves were all messed up, I could barely even feel it was over; I could hear their laughter at the side of me felt as if I aged decades, I was in true darkness without a torch…. they had indeed broken me and I could feel them pick me up and drag me to what I was feeling, a truck or even a van (No Eyes Remember?!). Could barely move my body, let alone give it support. Everything hurts; from the mutation, the agonizing tick from the days of having maggots and bugs coursing through my bloodstream, let's not forget the shock treatment that makes me feel like my heart is a flashlight since one moment it's beating, the next it's not…..It was a nightmare plain and simple, a dire situation…. Within my barely conscious, barely alive state, I began to see things, horrible things….I don't know what they meant but I didn't know what they were…. Memories, ghosts from the past within my mind. It was like looking into someone else's reality, seeing someone else's twisted idea of a reality….