It was embarrassing to admit, but she felt that it was the only way to get help. If she didn't say everything, then it would be hard to know what the issue was. That was how it always went, getting advice from Poros. It usually boiled down to talking about her side of things anyway, right?
And she certainly didn't want to talk to another man about the *specific* things she did with her lover.
"I was... sucking him off. I'm usually really good at it, but this time... he closed his eyes. I felt like he was thinking about someone else. But I can't be sure, and I don't know what to do."
For a fleeting moment, the blonde pictured the scene before grinning and patting the other woman companionably on the shoulder.
"Maybe you were *really* good at it this time? He could have been struggling to hold back?"
Naia shook her head.
"That's not really like him. He doesn't just shut off like that. Not unless he is concentrating on something. And he wasn't feeling 'more'... at least, I don't think so."
She knew she was right, but explaining how she knew was hard.
"You sound so sure but then you add that you don't know. How can you be sure of anything, then?"
"I... I just know. I know him. I know the way he acts, the way he looks, the way he feels. I just... Navigators can sense people's emotions to an extent."
Theia's eyes lit up and she leaned forward.
"That sounds amazing. Is it something you can teach me, too?"
Naia frowned. It was such a strange question to be asked, but it was hard to dismiss outright.
"Not really. It's innate - and it has to do with how the powers of Harmony identify chaos as something to calm and set at order. I mean... you might be able to do it with your energy, but I wouldn't be able to explain how."
"So... you can't teach it to me. Does that mean you learned through experience?"
"I... guess so."
"Speaking of learning through experience... where did you 'get good' at it? From him?"
Naia's face flushed and nodded. Theia was certainly teasing her, and she still felt a little dirty discussing something like that. Especially since the first time she'd done anything sexual was 'late' with her lover. Evander wasn't the type to lie about whether it was good or not, but it sounded a little weak hearing that her assessment came from a single man.
"It's not that simple. There's a lot of variation based on who the other person is and what they like. I've been with more than a few, and they weren't really that similar."
The blonde spoke about it confidently. Discussing this with another woman was better than with Poros, but it was still awkward. Naia wanted to feel bold about these things, but she really didn't have anyone else to compare her experiences with. She rubbed her neck and with a quiet voice asked something a little more serious.
"People can get bored of the same thing, right? Maybe sometime we could... talk about the differences? Between your men."
"Maybe. I'm not really in the mood right now, though."
"Oh, sorry. I just-"
"I'm kidding, Naia. We can talk about it."
The blonde's grin was infectious and Naia felt some of her tension release. Theia noticed her loosening guard and tried to actually help.
"Anyway, it sounds like you have some issues to work out with Evander. You should probably just ask him directly. He isn't going to lie to you, I expect. He doesn't seem like the type. But I'm guessing you already know that and are worried about something else. Maybe you're afraid that he will leave you or something?"
"I don't... know. Probably. He... I thought we would have a long time together. It seemed obvious. But then-"
'You came along.'
Theia reached over and held the other woman's hand. It was a little surprising and the dark haired woman shook. She wasn't used to much physical contact with anyone outside of Evander. Even Poros was pretty hands off - and he was her best friend.
"If you're having these thoughts, then you should probably talk to him about it. Seriously, Naia. I'm not an expert and I hate heavy talk. Don't make me do it too much. I have enough on my plate with learning to do my job here."
"Y-yeah. Thanks, Theia."
The blonde smiled again to show she was friendly and not trying to bite her head off, then patted her hand before letting go.
"Anytime, Naia. Now about those other guys... what do you want to know? I'll tell you anything."
She wasn't sure how to respond when asked, but she thought it would be nice to know some of the different things that men liked. Even if they weren't perfectly applicable to Ev. Maybe it would be easier to fix this problem that way, by just trying to be more spontaneous. To be more… like Theia.
"Well... what is it that you like?"
The moment she asked, she felt it was awkward. Wasn't she trying to ask about guys? She rationalized that knowing what was done to other girls could still be useful. It would be things she could tell him to do to her, to see if he liked it. But she also knew it was creepy to ask his white moonlight how to be more like her.
"I like a lot of things. My body is often kind of insensitive, so I like it rough. You know, biting, pulling hair, that kind of stuff."
Naia pursed her lips. That wasn't as helpful as she was hoping. They weren't things he would do. Though knowing he and the other woman might not be 'compatible' did help… a little.
"What about the actual mechanics of it?"
Theia smirked and crossed her arms.
"Like *how* they fuck you? That kind of thing? Well, it's hard to say. The first time I slept with someone, they were really gentle with their missionary. I didn't actually orgasm, I just felt some general pleasure."
She chuckled with a sense of good nature at the memory.
"But it was good enough at the time. I learned from it that I like a little variety. Another guy I slept with once was kind of kinky - he was into spanking and tying me up before pounding away. It was fun, but not what I want every time."
Naia thought about asking their squadleader to tie her up... and felt as though he would just question it to death. She couldn't see him doing something like that. Spanking might fly, but whether she would like it was a different matter.
"So, what do *you* do? Do you ask him to do different things or is there a certain kink?"
"There... is one thing, but I don't really... want to say."
"Prude! Come on, spit it out!"
Naia thought she needed to get over it if she wanted help, but it was something special. A personal kink of hers to be hugged from behind and played with. It had even been enough to keep her body 'interested' despite the fraying emotions in their last encounter. So she made something else up - but forgot to lie entirely.
"It's just... I like to tell him when I feel good. Knowing he is listening and... just that he knows."
Theia's eyes narrowed as she analyzed the woman before her. It *felt* like something she would do with her personality... but it also felt strange to hear. She liked telling the man when she was feeling good, but refrained from telling him things that made her feel bad? Emotionally, of course.
Even Theia didn't think the Navigator would put up with things that hurt physically without a word… right?
"Why don't you tell him things that you don't like? Isn't that your problem right now?"
Hearing her return to the actual issue, Naia grimaced.
"I... don't think I should. It's not his fault I feel like this."
"Then whose fault is it?"
For a moment, she couldn't help herself but assign blame to the woman talking so frivolously. Her devil may care attitude about it rubbed her the wrong way and brought out her stubborn side.
"I don't know. But I should be able to fix it on my own."
"By withholding things?"
The additional *accurate* push into the matter defused her.
"No... I just..."
The ringing of a terminal interrupted them.