So this is my one chance to apologize. I was there when humans first made tools, when they gathered in communities, turned forests into fields, raised nations, waged wars, and all I could think of how little that means in the grand scheme of things. But it all added up. And now here we are.
This planet with its beautiful mountains, strong rivers, unified in one serpent-like continent wasn't waiting for me to create this story, it was waiting for you to read it.
So here it is. My one chance to redeem myself. But first, we have to go back to when it all started. At least for him. An unexpected encounter with a stranger.
Do you believe in the value of life, even when in the eye of death everything is equal? That is not a question to you, it's something he pondered for a long time.
– W. 2032. Febuary The bloodred Moon's light luminated the dark damp pavement. The only thing that disturbed the street's silence were a massive man's footsteps. Before he entered the warehouse he carefully looked around for any curious eyes in the shadows. What he failed to notice was a girl sitting atop a lamp post observing his every move. He walked up to a large wooden crate obscured by a thick layer of dust, but it all disappeared as he jammed his hand under the wood and tore the top off like it was made of paper.He leaned into the box and began unloading the contents of it. The girl used this opportunity to her advantage to strike from the shadows with the movement of a feline sneaking up behind its prey. The girl did not expect any resistance, but a unsettling grin was painted across the man's face.
"Finally, you show yourself!" The trap was already set, and it was too late for the girl to escape. The man whipped out a machinegun from the crate and unloaded a burst of fire in the direction of his enemy. She dodged out of the way but to her demise a new opponent struck from the shadows and knocked her out.
Some time passed, and the girl woke up to someone's loud restless footsteps circling her. As she finally rose her head, they shoved a bright lamp into her face. The orange haired girl wore a green vest and shorts. The large pockets on her shorts were emptied by her captors, but not long ago they were full of her gadgets. On the shoulders of her vest were two letters: C.O.
"Julia Gatto, otherwise known as Cat." Said the bulky bald man with a satisfied grin on his face. "If the Cleaners want someone executed silently, they send you." The man leaned closer to the girl. "But unfortunately for you, we knew you were coming."Three guys. Piece of cake. But that annoying sound... They put sound cuffs in my ear. I'm screwed. She contemplated her next move as she looked around."Huh, you tied me up and used my own sound cuffs to subdue me? I guess you couldn't afford a pair. Your master must keep you on pretty tight leashes.""Well you were kind enough to lend us yours! And now without your abilities you are nothing more than a fragile girl tied up." The man leaned so close, that his warm dap breath stroked the girl's face.Using this moment of smugness, she headbutted her capturer. "Well, this girl just broke your nose. What does that make you then?"
"You bitch!" Screamed the man holding his bloody nose. "I will gut you and send you back in pieces to your friends!" As the man charged at Julia he suddenly felt a slight resistance around his ankle, just noticeable enough to make him look down."What the?" Groaned the tall man trying to figure out what that was. Wires wrapped around his ankles and his whole body was strung up by his feet."Showoff." Julia scuffed, pointing her piercing gaze into the shadows with an annoyed look."You know it's part of our code that we work in pairs. But you are too arrogant to actually work with anyone." A tall man in a similar west to Julia's walked out of the shadows. He put out his cigarette on the face of one of the thugs he took out, while the big guy was swinging upside-down."You dare talk about arrogance. You could've taken out all of them by now, but you chose to be all flashy and stuff." The third person terrified by his comrades' defeat, fled the building."What about that guy?""First untie me, Trap!" Shouted Julia at the man.Trap whistled and a bird flew out of his pocket. In the bird's beak there was a small knife and in seconds Julia was freed. She took the sound-cuffs out of her ears.
"Finally that annoying ringing has stopped.""Not even a thank you?""You're right…" Julia leaned to the little bird with a gentle smile and gave her a kiss. "Thanks Rusty."The man sighed. But they couldn't rest for long as the roof of the building started collapsing."What the?" Trap voiced his confusion. A looming shadow appeared in front of them. The large man who was hung up by Trap turned into an enormous beast.Both Julia and Trap dodged some of the falling rubble, but they were separated. Julia was facing the gigantic beast alone."Don't worry about me. Go after the other guy, I will take care of him. He was my target after all." Julia ordered Trap."Okay. I'll be on the radio if you need help."Thus, the two of them separated, not knowing the importance of this night. Several hours earlier in a small town…Cold, sharp wind cut through the white hair of a young boy. Wind so strong it pushed tears out of his eyes. But this is only natural at the top of a tall building. He looked down, took a deep breath and entertained the idea of taking his last step.Why am I here? School?I'm doing it to get a job someday.
But why do I need that?
To not starve, to have a roof over my head, to have a family someday.
Do I want a family? Would starving bother me? Everyone is running somewhere, while I can't think of a reason to even walk.
Could I find answers to any of my questions if I jump? Or at least could it stop the questions?
The boy took another deep breath. And leaned forward. Worth a try.As he fell, the wind was pushing him like it was trying to lift him back to the roof. His eyes teared up again, though it wasn't clear whether the tears were from the wind or not. He did not scream for his life or curse any Gods. He just went where the current took him.And that is when his brother kicked him in the ribs and out of his bed, waking him up.
"Get up, you suicidal dumbass! I don't care about the stunt you pulled yesterday on the school roof! You should've woken up an hour ago. Mom called for you for like ten times already." His brother had a lean muscular body with long black hair reaching down to his waist. With some facial hair on his chin and a mustache it was clear that there was a fair bit of age difference between the thirteen-year-old boy and his older brother."Stunt?" Asked the boy oblivious for a second. Wait, yeah it wasn't just a dream. I really almost fell to my death. "C-could we not talk about that, please? It was an accident." He shifted his eyes down and to the side with every following word being quieter than the one before."Tell that to a therapist. My job was to wake you up, not to determine why you did it. Anyway! Mom won't tell you what I'm about to, but ever since your scene on the school roof, she's been getting some weird looks around town.""Weird looks?""I mean her son just attempted suicide so obviously they would blame the parents. It's just a matter of time before the police will show up to take you or something." His brother shrugged nonchalantly voicing his opinion."You are making this up! Everyone respects mom and dad in the village! I was the one on the roof they had nothing to do with it!""That's just how you see it! From your perspective you were alone on the roof, but for everyone else mom and dad might as well were the ones to make you jump!"Tears gathered in the boy's eyes as his heartbeat sped up, pumping in an uncomfortable way. He lunged at his brother in a fit of rage and screamed."And all you can do is put this on me? Maybe I wouldn't have jumped if you weren't such a shit brother!""What did you just say?!" The two boys were about to take this form a verbal fight to a physical one when they both felt a knock on their head. It was clear for both that the only person who can hit with such force but still with no intention to hurt them, was their mother, Maria."Ren! Lendo! What the hell are you doing?!" The lady was short, with wrinkles creasing her face, as a testament to her age. Despite that, she was still able to separate the two boys."Lendo said that because of me people will think you are a bad mother! But I didn't want to jump I swear!" Said Ren with a quivering voice, clinging to his mother's shoulders as he hugged her."Honey, I really do hope that you didn't want to jump, because that would break my heart. And do not worry about what people think of me or your father. We care about you two. Everybody else is secondary." She embraced both of her sons in a warm hug, much to the surprise of Lendo. "Now go and get ready Ren! School starts in twenty minutes. If you get ready in fifteen, I will drive there in five minutes." Maria and Lendo left Ren's room."I honestly thought you would be mad at me." Lendo muttered just loud enough for his mother to hear."To be honest I am, but you went through your own hardships. I know you are annoyed with him because you think he had it easier than you, but I don't want you to talk to him like that ever again." Maria grabbed her son's hands and looked him in the eyes."But he really DID have it easier." Lendo let out an annoyed groan."That doesn't mean you have to make it harder for him."A few minutes later Ren came out of his room ready to go to school.
"Mom! Could we pick up Niel on the way there? He waited for me to meet him before school and he just left a veeery annoyed voicemail."Maria sighed and let out a small smile. "I mean he IS the one who saved you so I suppose I should thank him personally.""What?"A few minutes later in the car."Maaan! How did you forget the whole situation? I thought you would run to me with open arms and call me your hero, but you don't even remember what happened?" On the backseat of Maria's car sat Niel. Rens best friend. His light brown hair was all over the place like a bird's nest. Compared to the rather skinny Ren, he had way more muscle on. People actually thought that Ren was several years younger than his friend when in fact Ren was a year older."Yeah… Maybe the shock." Said Ren glaring out the window."So what happened exactly?" Asked Maria with a look a of concern and curiosity in her eyes."Ren told me that he wanted to see the school from high up, so he made me break open the lock on the door to the roof. After that he just walked to the edge of the roof and when I saw him lean forward I caught him.""See I didn't even jump I was just leaning forward." Ren Looked at his mother imitating smile as a sign of fake relief."Oh, don't get me wrong. You were technically falling. When I caught you, the only thing separating you from the pavement was my core strength, and I thankfully have a lot of that!" Laughed Niel, kicking the seat of his friend."They arrived at the school. Niel jumped out of the car, but before Ren could get out his mother pulled him back. "Ren I didn't think I would ever have to make this clear but we love you and you are wanted in this world. If you ever feel like you need to tell me something, please do. I am your mother and the least I can do is listen to what's on your mind""Thanks mom. I promise I won't be leaving you any time soon!" Maria planted a kiss on his cheek and hugged him before leaving the car. In the background he heard some kids mocking him. "Ew look at him! He still gives kisses to his parents."But before he could even process whether he should feel shame, anger, or sadness for those comments, he heard Niel's voice. "And what about it? If you have a problem with that, I'll personally send you to hell!"Ren smiled and put his hand on Niel's shoulder. "Calm down. They aren't worth the trouble.""But now that your mom's not here… Are you actually, okay? I mean you told me you just wanted to see the school from above, but was it really just that?""I…I don't know. But I don't think I want to die.""You don't think?""Listen. Don't worry about me. I had a rough day yesterday, but you get in trouble all the time. You really should be looking out for yourself.""I mean it's a wonder they didn't spin what happened on the roof as me pushing you off." Laughed Niel then yawned so wide that Ren could see what he ate for breakfast."Did you not sleep well?""It's just work. Dad has been working me like a horse." He sighed with a narrow smile under his cheek. "You know what just occurred to me?""What?" Asked Ren curiously."That you haven't talked to Rosa since your jump."Ren's face went completely red. "M-maybe I should go home. For some reason I feel sick all of a sudden." Ren started walking back to the gates of the school. Niel grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back under his arm.
"Listen! This is your chance! Her reaction will be a telltale sign of whether she likes you or not!""I mean guess she would be worried about me, but we ARE friends. I don't think I could take that as anything more than just her being concerned about one of her friends." Ren stumbled over his words as he tried to collect himself before entering the building."I hate how much you overthink stuff. Just take a leap of fate! But this time don't do it from the roof!" Niel nudged his friends side."Really you are the one to talk? You're acting like you haven't been dreaming of confessing to Ginna for years.""The time is not right man!""Yeah it never is!""You too need to grow up!" Said a familiar voice from the hallway behind them."Sun! What are you talking about? We were just arguing about what football team to root for this year!" Stuttered Ren. The boy with curly black hair and brown skin was somewhere between the height of Niel and Ren. A cheeky smile was painted over his face. Knowing well what the boys were talking about."And what teams are named after the girls you two are in love with? Not to mention that Ren hates sports." Said Sun with a playful look on his face. "All I was trying to say that we have two more years in this school. Try to act like you are a bit more mature. And stop salivating over girls. Have some guts like Vhiz and ask them out if you like them.""Yeah but that guy asks out a new girl every week!" Murmured Niel with an annoyed look on his face."And you almost killed him when he asked out Ginna last year!""Lucky for him, she denied." Growled Niel just loud enough so his friends could hear it."Now now. Stop the grunting and come. The rest of our class is waiting for us." Sun pushed him so he would snap out of his rage.In their classroom five seats were still empty. They immediately knew who the other two missing were. They sat down and waited for the teacher."Only a few days into the new year and our class is already the most talked about. Why am I cursed with you children?" Said the elderly looking lady who looked so thin, you'd think a slight breeze could pick her up. "And most of my troubles come from either you or Ken, who is unsurprisingly running late with Luna." Said the woman directing her anger towards Niel."Why me this time?""Well of course it must've been your idea to get to the roof and then Ren was careless and fell off." She walked up to Niel who was leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed."Ms. Fury, it was actually my request." Said Ren sitting straight in his chair."You're joking, right?" The teacher looked at him with her eyes open as wide as they could. "And why would the most well-behaved boy in this school disobey a rule and endanger his own life?""I'm sorry. If I had the answer to that question I would tell you, but I honestly don't."Chuckling was heard across the whole class. Ren did not mean to sound disrespectful, but from him, the slightest retaliation towards a teacher was unheard of.
"Going to the roof, and now talking back? Niel really is ruining you. Anyway. The principal wants to see you after this class."The whole classroom was silenced by this declaration. Then quiet murmurs were bouncing off the walls right into Ren's ears.
"He's in trouble.""That's what you get...""Poor Ren. He's going to be punished."SLAM!!A chair right behind the teacher was knocked back breaking the echoes of gossip in the room.
"What's this chit-chat all about? Nobody greeted me when I entered the classroom."Now everyone's attention turned to the cause of the noise. The rebellious looking boy with spiky hair was slouching in his chair looking around in the room with a look that screamed, 'Fight me!'
"Finally here, I see. Ken Leonnas." The teacher turned to the boy. As she turned she saw Suns twin sister Luna sneak to her seat."That's all you can say? No schooling me, or shouting at me?""Has that ever affected you in any way?""Well it made these interactions fun.""Then let me take that away from you.""Anyway as I see you brought Luna with you. So now the whole class is here. This class is special because today we will be talking about the rules of this school. If the most well-behaved kid doesn't follow them, maybe you need a refresher.""Hey Ren. How was the view from up there?" Asked Ken with a mischievous smile on his face."I cannot really remember. But everything felt… small." Ren was confused by the sudden attention he got from Ken. Though he was afraid of opening up to him, the boy could not stop himself from answering."Next time maybe take just that one last step." Said Ken with an evil grin on his face.Just as I thought, he was just looking for that moment of weakness to strike. Bullies never change. Ren thought to himself.
After the class as the kids were leaving for their break Ren was walking to the principal's office. Then he heard the smoothest, most gentle voice in his ear."Ren…" As he heard the voice his heart rate immediately doubled, and his cheeks went blood red. When he finally looked back, he was already in her arms. As she was embracing him, Ren could look at her from closer than ever before. Her golden hair played with the sunshine coming in from the window. As she let go a bit their eyes met for a second.They are so blue…Compared to Ren's cold blue eyes, Rosas were warm and inviting. Everyone who looked into them couldn't help but smile.
And as they were looking at each other Ren fell in love again.
"I'm glad you're okay." Said Rosa with a weak tremble in her voice."I'm glad too. I mean that you are glad! Not that I don't like being okay, it's just that you're being glad for me is making me more than okay with being okay. If you know what I mean." Please know what I mean.Rosa chuckled, then awkwardly stopped hugging Ren."How are you feeling about going to the principal's office?" Asked Rosa."Well I'm not thrilled but I expect a scolding and maybe suspension for a few days.""That's not good! Who will the others cheat off of at the next exam?"Ren smiled and looked with a cheeky gaze at Rosa. "Well I suppose they have to rely on you this time."
"Don't talk about me like I'm some kind of option b!" Rosa's cheeks turned red as she raised her voice a bit.Ren distanced himself a bit from her. Did I overdo it? Maybe that was too harsh…Rosa tried to get closer to Ren but he quickly knocked on the principal's door.
"Sorry I need to go but we should… I don't know meet some time?""You're talking like we won't have any more classes today." Rosa looked kind of confused after Ren's suggestion."Yeah you're right sorry." Ren awkwardly shimmied in through the door."Ren Sciron!" Said a deep voice. Ren immediately turned around and his face went from his ashamed red color to a terrified white."Y-yes. That's me.""Of course that's you! I know who you are! You are the best student in this school, your father is a renowned police officer, and yesterday you tried to jump off the school roof." The principal was an extremely bizarre man. His face was square, every aspect of him was angular. His glasses, his beard, his shoulders, everything on him was ninety degrees. His eyebrows were the only thing that were at a forty-five-degree angle."I didn't try, it was an accident.""I am talking. You are listening. I'll let you say your truth when I'm done." Though the principal's eyebrows couldn't reach ninety degrees, they were getting close to sixty.After the scolding Ren silently waited.
"Good. So you broke the lock on the roof door with your friend and then almost died. I would usually punish this kind of misdemeanor by suspending you, but you are such a well-behaved student that I believe punishment is unnecessary." Ren was kind of confused for a second, but a wave of relief washed over him clearing his mind."For you.""Huh?" Ren raised his head in confusion. Then suddenly realized what he meant. "No! You cannot punish Niel for my actions!""What did I say about talking?" Ren couldn't finish what he was about to say as the principal slammed his desk with his perfectly rectangular hands. "Niel Aries will spend his afternoon in the donkey room with the other misbehaving kids, and he'll be suspended for the rest of the week. And you will meet with the school psychiatrist every week until he deems you fixed! You clearly need to talk through some things.""No…""No?""I'm okay with the psychiatrist, but don't suspend Niel!""This isn't up for debate. He needs to be punished and you need help.""Please just don't suspend him.""You know this is nothing new to him. He has been suspended multiple times for beating up others.""But we've been working on his anger issues, and he hasn't beaten up anyone in weeks!""Ren. Leave my office!"Ren walked to the door with a defeated look on his face. As he reached for the doorknob, he stopped for a second and straightened his back.
"I guess if Niel won't come to school for a week I'll just stop helping my classmates with tests.""Was that supposed to be threatening?" Asked the principal with a confused chuckle."No, but you should feel threatened. Soon every parent will come to you with the same question. "Why are my kid's grades getting worse?" I suppose you don't mind a bunch of angry parents barging into your office every day.""You cunning little…" The principal stopped himself from getting too angry. He stood up and walked towards Ren. Towering over the small boy, he opened the door for him. "I won't suspend Niel Aries, but he still needs to spend this afternoon in detention.""Thank you sir!""Just get out of here before I change my mind." Ren left the office with a relieved smile on his face. The rest of the classes went by as they should.Niel aproached Ren after the last class. "Thanks for bailing me out! Dad would've buried me in the backyard if I got suspended again. Problem is the principal found another way to punish me.""What do you mean?" Ren looked confused at his friend."He'll keep me in detention until the school closes.""That son of a!""Yeah... So just go home after the therapy is over. We'll talk tomorrow."Ren stared at him for a few seconds before saying goodbye to his friend. He was lost in his thoughts so much, he didn't even notice that he already walked to the psychologist's office.
As he stepped into the room fresh air blew on his face. The window was open. The whole room was illuminated by the sun. He could even feel his feet getting warmer by just standing on the wooden floor, as it sucked up all the warmth from the sunshine.A sudden realization struck him, he was alone in the room. He took another step, but the wind pushed him with such force, that he found himself standing right in front of the window. Well, if he's not here, I might as well close the window until I wait for him. Ren thought to himself.As he leaned towards the window, the first thing he saw was the windowsill, but something was off. Fingers were lined up on the windowsill. That's when Ren leaned out the window and saw that the psychologist was hanging for dear life on the windowsill of the second floor. Ren immediately grabbed his hand and started pulling."What are you doing? Are you insane?" Asked Ren as he was using all his strength as well as his bodyweight; both of which were nigh nonexistent, to pull the professor up."Oh, you know just hanging out with my patient." Said the man in a polite and friendly manner."I do not appreciate puns! Especially when someone is about to die!" Shouted Ren as veins popped out of his forehead, and his head went dark red."Who? Me? Oh, don't worry! It's only the second floor, I would probably survive if I landed correctly." Chuckled the strange man."Oh then should I stop pulling?""I mean I appreciate the effort but I can pull myself up." The psychologist proceeded to raise his body up onto the sill and climb in. Ren fell back on the floor. As he looked up the man casted a shadow on him.I'm guessing you are Ren Sciron? Nice to meet you! My name is Dr. Marcus Ottoman. Let's start our session!"
Ren took a seat in a brown leather sofa, so big his feet didn't even touch the floor.Marcus was sitting in front of him in an identical sofa with his legs crossed, and a notepad in his hand."Let's see." The man opened a folder with Ren's name written on it. "So your father is Atla Sciron the police chief, you mother is Maria a kindergarten teacher, and you have an older brother named Lendo.""Yes." Nodded Ren with a serious look on his face."And what made you jump off the roof?""THAT'S YOUR SECOND QUESTION?" Screamed the shocked boy."I tried to be subtle and sneak in the question, so maybe I can get an honest answer before you make up an excuse.""So you just assume that I wouldn't tell you the truth right away?""Would you? I mean you just met me, I was hanging outside the window, and I clearly made a strong first impression. But I know it wasn't "What a trustworthy and sane guy he is".Ren chuckled a bit before staring out the window silently.
"Why did you do that?" Asked the boy under his breath."Hanging out there? Come on Ren we both know that you are smart enough to figure out the answer to that. I wanted to get a taste of what it was like for you on the roof.""And what's your conclusion?""That whatever made you get up there, is dark, and needs to be explored.""I went up there because I could."Marcus looked at Ren with a confused expression.
"Could you elaborate?""I feel like life should be simple on paper. There is a point A and B. Our life is going from one to the other, but the most important part is the and. That is the life you live. That is everything you do and could do. But all I can see in front of myself is B and the questions surrounding it.""Well you're not the first kid to have these feelings, if that helps.""I never felt alone particularly. But I do feel faulty. Like a broken toy.""So you haven't tried to commit suicide before?""No… I love my family and my friends. I would never put them through the trauma even though it sounds kind of selfish.""NO! Thinking that people would miss you is not selfish. It's natural. Would any of them die, you'd miss them, right? Then why would it be so unfathomable that they would feel the same way?""I guess so…""Let's talk about your family a bit. How is your relationship with your parents?"Ren let out a quiet sigh. "I love them."
"I don't doubt that. I am more interested in how you see them as people.""Well dad is rarely at home. He's usually out for days. But now he's been out for a week and there is no sign of him returning any time soon. So, there isn't really that much to talk about him."
"That alone is plenty to talk about. Would you say your mother is more reliable?""She kind of had to be. She raised us mostly by herself. I mean dad was there when we needed him, but mom was always there.""Now let's discuss your brother. How is he?""Angry most of the time.""With you?""I would say so, yes.""And do you know why he's angry at you?""If I knew I would've done something about it.""What does he usually do that makes you think he's angry at you?""Shouts at me. Tells me I'm an annoying crybaby, that I disappoint my parents.""And do you believe those things about you?""Well I am more sensitive than him, and I do think that sometimes they are disappointed in me.""Can you give me an example? And please don't use yesterday's situation on the roof."Ren went silent. He was looking through his memories as his eyes filled with tears.
"I…I can't think of an example for some reason. It must be from the trauma from yeste-""Or is it because it's not true?" Marcus cut off Ren before finishing his thought.Ren's face went red. He couldn't look straight at Marcus.
"I appreciate your time Ren. And I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Please think about today's session. Belittling yourself is an easy way out of every confrontation, but your heart cannot take it for long." Dr Ottoman opened the door for Ren."Thank you for talking to me doctor." Ren said goodbye with a smile on his face.As the boy was walking to the exit, the empty hallways of the school were echoing his footsteps. He took one step but heard three. Being alone this late in the school was a bit frightening so he made a quick escape from the echoing halls and ran outside. As he turned a corner, he bumped into someone."How was your therapy little Ren?" Asked Ken with a devilish smile on his face.Ren tried to go around him but Ken didn't let him.
"You won't escape that easily. What did the doc tell you? That you shouldn't do silly things like that? That your life is worth something?""What is your problem Ken?" Muttered Ren."What did you just say? My problem? You know what? I will tell you something even better. YOUR problem! You are weak! I will tell Rosa that you are in love with her. Shit! She probably already knows but she just doesn't want to hurt your feelings." Ren went completely pale. His stomach was in his throat as the whole world started spiraling around him and Ken. "So, what are you going to do about it? Hit me? Come!"Ren clenched his fists, looked Ken in the eye and ran straight past him. Running away as fast as he could with tears trailing from his eyes.Ken surprised by the lack of hostility couldn't do anything. He scuffed and spat after Ren. "You are disappointing Ren! You will always be weak!"
As Ren sprinted out of the school, tears blinded him. He walked out on to the road in front of the school. By the time he realized that the streetlights were not the only light source shining on him it was too late. A car's headlights took over his field of view and he could not dodge.
"That dumbass!" Shouted Ken. He ran towards the road, but by the time he got there, the car has already left. "Who the hell just drives away?" Screamed Ken as he reached the road. But the most haunting thing was that Ren's body was nowhere to be found.
Ren Sciron, age thirteen, he spent so much time contemplating why he was on this Earth, that it swallowed him up...