If our world is defined by delusion, there can be no truth. If there is no truth, how can there be lies?
—WAHRHEIT ERTRINKT, PHILOSOPHER
The inn consisted of four round tables made of wagon wheels tipped on their side, with several roughhewn planks thrown over the top.
Two large crates with wood planks hanging bowed between them made up the bar.
Overturned boxes were chairs.
"It's perfect," announced Bedeckt as he sat heavily at the only empty table. His back ached.
Looking about the room, Wichtig sniffed and said loudly, "Shite-hole."
The faces of the half-dozen patrons turned to look at the recent arrivals.
Stehlen, as always, sat across from Bedeckt. Covering the angles, watching his back.
Remaining standing, Wichtig looked around the room, meeting the eyes of each patron and waiting until they looked away. "A shite-hole," he enunciated carefully. "Infested with vermin. Rats and cockless cockroaches."
Bedeckt took the ax from its customary place at his back and set it on the table. The old boards groaned under the weight. "If you want a fight, go elsewhere. I want to sit and drink."
"But if I start a fight elsewhere," said Wichtig reasonably, "you won't be there to back me up." Seeing Bedeckt remained unmoved, he grunted and sat. "Boring."
"Only boring people get bored," said Bedeckt, ignoring Wichtig's look of hurt confusion. "Get us ale."
Wichtig dropped the feigned hurt without comment, but sat unmoving.
He stared at the barkeep until the man wilted under the weight of his dead eyes. Not once did the young Swordsman blink. Less than a minute later three tankards of warm ale sat on their table.
Four pints—each—later the inn door opened and a gust of dry air blew dust into their tankards and eyes.
Bedeckt heard the collective groan of the other patrons, who, until this moment, had remained carefully silent.
Unwilling to meet Wichtig's eyes, they avoided looking at the group of three at all. Even the barkeep brought fresh tankards without making eye contact or uttering a word.
Stehlen, blinking the dust from her eyes, looked to the door. She groaned. "Gods-damned priestess."
Wichtig turned to see the woman at the door and nodded appreciatively.
"That's a little something tasty," he called loudly.
Bedeckt enjoyed the Swordsman's surprise when, instead of flinching and moving away, the young woman walked directly to their table.
Great. Another crazy priest trying to save our lost souls. If she had even an inkling of the people she approached, she'd turn and flee.
"Greetings, travelers." The priestess wore long, dust-colored robes and couldn't have been a day over twenty. She stood at their table, looking entirely relaxed.
Bedeckt examined her, trying to get an idea of what might be under those robes, not caring how uncomfortable his inspection made her.
"Travelers?"
"Saw you ride in," she said. If his attention bothered her, she hid it masterfully. "And there aren't that many people in Unbrauchbar."
"Shite-hole," corrected Wichtig.
The priestess accepted this with a small tilt of her head. "Wherever you are, there you are. We define our reality."
Bedeckt, enjoying Wichtig's look of confusion, decided to humor her. It would pass the time and maybe keep his two companions from each other's throat. "I recognize that philosophy."
"Geborene Damonen," said the priestess. "You've heard of us."
"But as a philosophy, not a religion," said Bedeckt. The ale had loosened the snot in his skull, and closing one nostril with a blunt and filthy finger, he blew a great wad of it onto the floor.
The relief was brief and his sinuses quickly refilled.
The priestess raised an eyebrow at the puddled snot and continued.
"Philosophy and religion are largely one and the same," she said. "I am Sister Wegwerfen. May I join you?"
Bedeckt answered before Wichtig. "Yes, of course." Perhaps the priestess's presence would drive the young Swordsman away for a time.
Bedeckt was tired of Wichtig's self-centered humor. Once Wichtig fled, Bedeckt could tell her to shove off.
Stehlen and Wichtig shifted uncomfortably on their wooden box seats.
With any luck this will drive them both off and I'll get some peace.
The woman seemed ignorant of the discomfort she caused. "The Geborene Damonen has always been more than a philosophy," she said.
"Long has it been the plan to put our ideas into action. But when one sees as far as High Priest Konig Furimmer, such plans take time.
Only now are we finally ready to spread the word of the Ascendance of the Geborene god."
Bedeckt's curiosity got the better of him. "Geborene god? I thought the Geborene Damonen believe mankind invented the gods. That they are nothing but our delusions given form."
"Exactly!" She beamed happily, probably excited to have met someone who knew of her crazy religion. "If humanity's belief created the old gods, we can create new gods."
Wichtig grumbled something into his ale, trying not to look lost.
Stehlen looked back and forth between the priestess and Bedeckt in confusion. Her pinched expression said, There had better be an angle here.
Bedeckt gave her the tiniest of shrugs and she scowled openly.
"Join a damned church," she said, "I'll kill you." She picked at the worn cotton of a scarf wrapped around her bony wrist. It may have once been bright and colorful, but now looked faded and threadbare.
When she noticed Bedeckt's attention she tucked the scarf back up her sleeve and out of view.
"Noted," said Bedeckt, turning back to the priestess. "Isn't one of the basic tenets of the Geborene Damonen that the gods—as creations of man—are unworthy of worship."
"Yes, of course! But they are unworthy because they are accidental creations. We have created a new god. A god driven by faith. A god with a purpose. Intent is the key here. We are the first to have designed our god."
"Designed?" asked Bedeckt.
"Yes. A metaphor, if I may—"
"Please no," muttered Wichtig.
"A cave may make a passable home," continued the priestess, ignoring the Swordsman. "It has a roof, an entrance, and perhaps several rooms.
But it hardly compares to a man-made keep. A castle, thoughtfully designed, is a far better home." She looked Bedeckt in the eye. "You get my point?"
When Bedeckt only returned a confused stare, she pressed on. "We are designing our god. Shaping him. Forging him in the fires of our faith."
Wichtig stood, dropping his empty tankard to the table. "I'm going to forge the fires twixt some lass's nethers. That you can have faith in." He groped at his empty money purse and shot Stehlen an accusing look, which she ignored.
"Bedeckt, you can pay for this?"
"Aye."
"Next one is on me, then."
Lying sack of pig dung. Wichtig fled, out into the street, Bedeckt's gaze following him. The Swordsman would look for trouble and no doubt find it.
Bedeckt turned back to the priestess. "You said you were shaping him."
Even with Wichtig gone, he found himself somehow intrigued.
She nodded eagerly. "No other god was willfully created. Born of man's delusions and fears, the old gods are fickle and insane, petty and deluded.
By knowing how our god will be when he Ascends, we define him. We are creating the perfect god."
Bedeckt lifted an eyebrow as far as the scarring would allow. The beginnings of an idea. A crazy idea, no doubt, but still an idea. "Creating? As in not yet finished? He has yet to . . . Ascend?"
The priestess, eyes bright, leaned in toward her audience. "A boy was born to us, a child of infinite potential. High Priest Konig foretold of a child born not of woman, but of pure faith.
The boy was raised in the temple to be tempered in the fires of our belief."
"That shite metaphor again," sneered Stehlen.
The woman shrugged, unperturbed by Stehlen's anger. "It works."
"The boy is at the temple here in Unbrauchbar?" asked Bedeckt, doing his best to sound disinterested. It wasn't too hard.
His skull felt heavy with snot, and when he tried to blow his nostrils clear again, nothing happened but a wet snurk sound. Damned stuff turned to stone in there.
"No, no," answered the priestess, shaking her head. "He stays in Selbsthass."
"Makes sense. If you are shaping him with your faith, you need him at the heart of it."
The priestess looked to be contemplating patting Bedeckt on a scarred and well-muscled shoulder and then wisely decided against the idea.
Instead, she simply said, "Exactly! The farther you get from someone's faith or delusion, the less effect it has."
"It's what saves us from your Konig Furhammer," snapped Stehlen, spitting on the table between them. "A man with such delusions of grandeur would rule the world otherwise."
"Furimmer," corrected the priestess. "If Konig only suffered delusions of grandeur, he'd just be another Gefahrgeist. His delusions surpass such pettiness. His faith creates gods."
"Delusion, you mean," said Stehlen.
"What's the difference?"
Bedeckt scratched at the scarred lump of the remains of his left ear.
"Others will follow your example."
"Of course. But we will be first and we will have done it right. Others will scramble to build their gods, but they will be hurried and poorly thought out. Ours is planned. Morgen will be first among the new gods."
Morgen. Bedeckt, making note to remember the name, gave Stehlen a quick glance and saw her almost imperceptible nod of understanding.
"You've given me much to think about. Your faith will spread."
"We gain strength with every new follower." The priestess smiled warmly and this time did reach out to touch his arm.
"People join us because they know their faith—their hopes and dreams—will shape our god. Ideas are power, and this is a powerful idea. We will be the single greatest faith in the world. We will unite all of mankind under one god — one we all birthed. Konig has foreseen it."
She stood and bowed. "It has been a pleasure talking with you and I can see you are intelligent and educated people." Bedeckt grunted at this but made no comment. "Please, come to the city temple anytime to talk further. Blessed will be those whose belief shapes the future."
"I will visit. But it's getting late. Stehlen will see you safely back to the temple."
---
Stehlen rose from behind the table. "Please," she drawled in her most sincere tone, "this way, my good lady. These can be dangerous times, I will escort you home."
What in all the arse-sticking hells is Bedeckt planning? What use was a half-wit, brainwashed church wench?
She'd find out soon enough, she supposed. She'd followed his lead often enough to know it usually went somewhere, and it usually went somewhere profitable. At least for her.
Stehlen glanced over her shoulder as she led the priestess from the tavern. Bedeckt looked pale and miserable. He breathed through an open mouth and kept digging at the scarred remains of his ear as if something was lodged in there.
Stupid old fart. If he died of some old-man illness, she'd kill him.
The priestess bitch seemed pleased as Stehlen held the door for her. She seemed pleased as Stehlen guided her around potholes hidden in the dark.
The priestess even seemed pleased when Stehlen rubbed her lean body against hers. True, Stehlen knew she was no great beauty, but she had a firmness that excited a certain type.
The priestess was definitely pleased when Stehlen dragged her into a dark alley growling huskily.
She only stopped being pleased when one of Stehlen's razor-sharp knives opened her throat and she bled out onto the cobblestones.
Stehlen watched the brainless wench kick and bubble until finally becoming still. She went through the woman's pockets carefully, helping herself to the few coins there.
She also took the small handwoven scarf she found and sniffed at it. The scarf smelled faintly of jasmine, no doubt a gift from some equally brainless lover.
She tied it around one wrist, pleased with how it looked.
BEDECKT WAS INTO his seventh pint before Stehlen returned. The emptied mugs still littered the table, the barkeep apparently afraid to collect them.
The additional ales hadn't improved his pallor and he leaned heavily against the table. The skin on his wan face hung slack and clammy.
She collapsed onto the overturned box opposite him and examined him as he continued drinking and ignoring her. Stick it, I give up. "Why did I just kill that woman?"
Bedeckt frowned into his tankard. "Money. If I'm not mistaken."
"I searched her pockets. She had nothing of value."
Bedeckt glanced at the new scarf tied around her wrist and Stehlen hid the hand beneath the table. "I found it."
"I wasn't talking about whatever coin you lifted."
"I told you she had no money," she snapped.
Bedeckt continued as if he hadn't heard. "I have a plan. It needs some fleshing out, but I think it's a good one."
"A good one meaning one making us a lot of money? A good one meaning a plan unlike the last dozen? A good one meaning not stupid and dangerous?"
"I think I got one out of three."
"Bloody brilliant. What's the plan?"
"Kidnap this god-child and ransom him back to the Geborene."
Stehlen flared nostrils as if scenting the foulest shite. "I think one out of three might be generous."
She waved at the barkeep and ordered another round of drinks. "I know what Wichtig will say, 'A stupid and ill-thought plan. Sounds like fun.'" She spat on the inn floor. "When do we start?"
"Tomorrow night. If Wichtig is still alive."
Dare to dream the pretty idiot gets himself killed on his moronic quest to be the World's Most Annoying Swordsman. Stehlen sniffed at her tankard.
What the hells is that awful smell?
"So . . . what's the plan for tonight?" she asked.
Bedeckt waved at the barkeep, avoiding eye contact with her. "Drink. Sleep."
"Another brilliant plan." Arsehole.
---
The morning sun glinted off the dust raised by the gathered crowd.
Bedeckt shaded watering eyes with his half hand. His head thumped like some war stallion kept stamping on it.
His clogged nose forced him to breathe through his mouth and chalky dust coated his dry tongue. I should return to the inn and bed. Wichtig can die out here alone.
He glanced about the crowd. Some fifty people stood in a tight circle, jostling and elbowing for a better view. A massively muscled man, standing in the center of the circle, examined Wichtig with dismissive eyes.
Bedeckt watched the big man rolled muscled shoulders, and took in the fierce and scarred features. As long as I'm here, I might as well entertain myself.
He patted Wichtig on the back. "Your opponent has done his share of killing and enjoyed it."
Wichtig grunted, too busy scanning the crowd for attractive women to pay Bedeckt much attention.
Bedeckt tried again. "Look at those scars. This man has seen a lot of challengers. And killed them."
Wichtig glanced dismissively at the Swordsman standing across the circle. "He's got scars because he's been cut. I have none because I have not. Tell me who the better Swordsman is."
He said this loud enough that much of the crowd heard him.
"Ah," said Bedeckt, "but he stands among a gathering of his believers . . . whereas no one here has heard of you."
"Soon he'll lie dead and they will have heard of me." Wichtig pouted at Bedeckt. "I do so appreciate these pep talks. They help focus my attention. First I win the crowd. Then I win the fight."
"You seem awfully sure of yourself."
"I am."
The sad thing was Bedeckt had seen enough of these fights to accept the fact that Wichtig had at least some reason for that confidence.
The scarred Swordsman strode to the center of the clearing and stood with hands on hips. He called out to Wichtig so all the crowd could hear.
"You can't beat me. In this city everyone knows I am the most dangerous man alive with a blade."
Wichtig winked at an attractive young lady. His voice rang out deep and resonant and sure. "Ah yes, but there are a hundred cities in a dozen citystates where everyone knows I am the Greatest Swordsman alive."
He flashed a dazzling smile at the audience. "Sure, a couple of people in this lovely little town—what's this place called, Bedeckt?"
"Unbrauchbar."
"In this shite-hole have heard of you—what's his name, Bedeckt?"
"How the hells should I know."
"Whatever your name is—"
"Vollk Urzschluss."
"—they've heard of you here. But I have traveled far and wide and killed a great many would-be World's Greatest Swordsmen. And I've never heard of you. Sadly, I don't think you're even in the top one hundred."
Bedeckt watched Vollk dart glances at the crowd, trying to measure their reaction. Skill with a blade mattered little in the face of the belief of a tightly packed mob.
"Those cities are far away," said Vollk. "Their beliefs matter little here."
"Yes, yes. I've read the books."
Bedeckt rolled his eyes. Wichtig loved to repeat things smarter, more educated people had said as if they were his own words.
Wichtig continued, pontificating to the crowd. "You forget, however, to factor in the numbers involved and the depth of their faith.
If I may quote the Geborene Damonen: 'if enough people believe strongly enough, they can change the world entire.'" Wichtig smirked cockily.
"I know I am the Greatest Swordsman in the World. Hundreds of thousands of people know I am the Greatest Swordsman in the World. Soon all of this shite-hole will know I am the Greatest Swordsman in the World. You, my friend, will sadly not live to see that day. Such is the fate of stepping-stones."
Bedeckt wondered where Wichtig had heard that line.
Vollk glared at Wichtig, looking bewildered. "I'm no stone. Though . . . though I am as tough as one. As strong. You are all talk."
Wichtig bowed to the gathered crowd with a confident flourish. He was, Bedeckt saw, winning them over; they were almost his. Wichtig leered at Vollk.
"You think you are the best. I am the best. You thought with the crowd's faith you could beat me. Now . . . even you know better." He drew his sword and sketched a flourished bow. "Shall we?"
Ten seconds later Vollk Urzschluss lay in the dust bubbling blood from a sucking chest wound. Wichtig stood with his back to the downed Swordsman, basking in the crowd's applause.
Bedeckt watched Vollk's fingers clutch at the dirt, eyes rolling in fear as he struggled to draw breath into lungs filling with blood. "Wichtig, this is a slow and ugly death you leave him. Why not finish him?"
Wichtig patted Bedeckt on the back. "Seeing the man die slowly helps solidify this event in the minds of the witnesses.
It is important they remember this clearly if I am to someday be acknowledged as the Greatest Swordsman in the World. These people are useless to me if they forget."
"You are so full of shite."
"All too true. I know I am not as smart, good-looking, skillful, or lucky as I think I am. I know these are my delusions. However, I'm also damned sure I am a lot smarter, better looking, skillful, and lucky than anyone else in this shite little city. Thus they bend to my will. I want them to like me, they like me. I want them to fear me, they fear me. I am a gifted orator."
"You are a delusional idiot," replied Bedeckt. "That you can convince people of anything depresses me. You spout things smarter people said and you yourself don't understand."
Wichtig met Bedeckt's eyes with a cold glare. "No, it is you who doesn't understand. The facts don't matter and that's a fact. I wasn't winning the crowd with logic, I was simply sowing seeds of doubt and bolstering my own confidence. Once I knew his followers doubted, I knew he too would doubt."
Wichtig glanced dismissively at the man still coughing blood into the dust. "His doubt killed him before I did."
Sure, thought Bedeckt, and your sword in his lungs had nothing to do with it.