Because falling in love with someone is due to a strange gravitational pull in the heart. Unconsciously, one's own heart is attracted by the other person's heart. That's the feeling. But being attracted is just an instant thing. And before that gravitational pull disappears, it's very difficult to leave.
The thought of wanting to stay connected all the time remains strongly.
"I was dumped – sure enough he has someone he likes."
"So I said it wouldn't work, right?"
"But the person I've liked since the first grade, I haven't heard any rumors of him dating anyone."
The conference room after school is much livelier than during the day. Because the number of executive committee members is itself more than twice that during the day, so this is only natural. Third-grade students and lower-grade students are mixed together. Just a little difference in grade can make people deeply feel the change in composure and atmosphere.
"Teacher Ben, coffee is fine, right?"
"Um, ah, thank you."
I stop what I'm doing and look at the noisy room inside. Suddenly a paper cup appears in front of my eyes, blocking my view. I look up at the owner of the hand holding the paper cup and the cup holder. It's a male student with a smile. The color of the pin is red, so he's a first-year student.
"Er –"
"I'm Piney."
"Right, right, Piney. I'm not good at remembering names recently. Am I starting to age?"
Looking at me muttering to myself, Piney chuckles softly. He's a student council cadre, so we meet during the day too, but I still can't remember his name. Although I remember his face – which is rare for me with a bad memory.
"Is there something on my face?"
"Er, no, nothing at all."
Piney notices that I keep staring at him and tilts his head and asks. I shake my head vigorously at those eyes that are narrowed in confusion.
His temperament and appearance are a bit like Blake's. After all, the reason why I remember him is so impure.
"It's especially noisy with the girls today."
"Ah, a bit noisy indeed. Like, dislike, dump, being dumped. They can still be so lively. Seriously."
"... You, you're quite calm for your age."
"Not really?"
Just as Piney said, that kind of emotion of one moment of joy and one moment of worry is really a bit confusing. But seeing Piney shrug his shoulders and look at the reactions of the other students coldly, I think it's better for a child to be like a child. Is this evidence of getting old?
"The things one truly wants aren't so easy to give up."
"Quite profound."
While drinking the steaming hot coffee, I secretly look at Piney and feel that his line of sight looking at the noisy students seems to be looking further away.
Could it be that Piney also has someone he likes? With his mature face, he still retains some of the temperament of a teenager. Speaking of which, he's a beautiful young man. Even without speaking, he seems to be the popular type.
"Teacher, give me a cup too."
"Whoa, hey! Don't snatch other people's things."
Suddenly hearing a leisurely voice and feeling a heaviness on my back, by now the paper cup in my hand has already disappeared somewhere. I look up at the top of my head where the voice came from and see Paul's grinning face.
"You, why do you want to pounce on people every time you see them."
"It's just a back that makes me can't help but want to hug."
Saying that, the arms stretching out from behind hug the person's body, and at the same time Paul's face presses against my cheek.
At first, I was extremely resistant when he touched me, but now for some reason I don't care at all. If he does something like that again, it's a different story. But Paul who is sticking to my back doesn't have such actions. It just feels like being pestered by a useless big cat.
"By the way, I saw Blake in the corridor just now."
Hearing Paul suddenly speaking in a low voice, I want to turn my head. But I'm blocked by Paul who is pressing his face against mine and can't do it.
"In the corridor?"
In this school, when it comes to the corridor, there's only one. That's the corridor connecting the main school building and the teaching materials preparation room in the old school building where I spend most of my time usually. If he's walking there, he's probably going to the preparation room. Come to think of it, today is Wednesday.
"Is that so, taking a rest."
Recently Blake's work schedule for his part-time job, in addition to the originally fixed rest day on Sunday, he also has Wednesday off. When he's resting, he will definitely be waiting for me to come back there.
"If he's resting, he could show up after school too."
"Huh? Oh, heavy!"
I'm confused by Paul's muttering in a low voice. The weight on my back further increases and my body naturally bends forward. I try my best to push him away but it's no use. Helplessly, I pick up the document beside my hand and hit Paul on the head. The weight lessens a bit.
"You want to kill me."
"I saw him being caught by a girl to confess. But it's one of those girls making noise over there."
"Huh?"
For an instant I don't understand the meaning of his words before and after and make a silly sound. But I immediately understand his meaning and widen my eyes. Strange cold sweat breaks out.
"It's one of those girls making noise over there."
Seeing my face that might have turned pale, Paul grins and kisses his side face quickly. The small kissing sound makes me come to my senses.
"Paul!"
"Haha, teacher is too slow to react."
Paul quickly dodges the arm I raise and takes a step back.
"Scared?"
"... So noisy!"
What Paul's words imply is not the impolite kiss. Only I notice this point.
"You guys don't look either. Continue working."
The gazes from the people around who have gathered around somehow make me have a slight headache. I feel a wave of exhaustion袭来 due to this sluggish atmosphere and the situation mixed with screams.
"President, can you come and do the work over here instead of playing?"
"Ah? You guys can do this much stuff, right. Do you know how much I've done?"
Suddenly Piney who inserts himself between us makes Paul frown. Paul twists his mouth arrogantly. But his dissatisfaction also has some reason. Now he has just come back after discussing with the staff arranging the venue.
Originally it should be me as the advisor to go, but after all I'm just a substitute, so I don't need to do to that extent. Almost all the troublesome things are done by Paul.
"Obviously you do them all on your own initiative."
"You're really too arrogant."
For Piney's straightforward words, Paul clearly twists his face and pulls a chair over beside me and sits down.
"Bring this over."
"Hey, why are you doing it here?"
Looking at Paul, I sigh. But seeing Paul showing an unhappily side face that matches his age rarely, I think he's very cute.
"Paul also has things he's not good at."
"Teacher, if you bully me, I'll pay you back double, okay?"
"I'm not bullying you... Ah, we'll go back in about an hour or so."
I rest my chin on my hand and look at Paul. Remembering something, I look at the clock on the wall. If it's a rest day today, let's go to the preparation room earlier. Probably Blake is dozing off again.
"Teacher, work is secondary compared to a lover, right?"
"Whoa! Let go of me, you idiot!"
Suddenly Blake's figure appears in my mind and when the corners of my mouth relax, suddenly my body is pulled by Paul from the side. Due to the strong momentum, the chair I'm sitting on falls to the ground with a loud noise.
The room instantly becomes quiet. Led by me, everyone widens their eyes and freezes.
"What are you doing, you guy."
Being held in his arms and sitting on Paul's lap, accompanied by a big sigh, I gently hit Paul on the shoulder with my fist.
"Teacher, if you care, then care about me."
"You guy."
"I, like teacher."
Being directly confessed by Paul, the room becomes noisy all of a sudden. But in contrast, what comes out of my mouth is a sigh. Looking at Paul's face that seems a bit lonely, I'm extremely confused by the words that appear in my mind.
"Liar. The one you like is Blake, right."
I whisper in Paul's ear in an almost inaudible voice. Paul's eyes widen in surprise and wavers in confusion.
"Sure enough."
Although I kind of sensed it, but after actually knowing it, my mood is still very complicated.
"It's not really lying either? I like teacher too."
"Well, it's a pity that teacher can't respond to your feelings."
I suddenly break free from Paul's loosened arms and stand up, stroking Paul's head who has raised it. I force a wry smile at the face that narrows its eyes in dissatisfaction and bring my face close to his ear.
"Sorry, I can't give Blake to you either."
"... "
Paul blinks in surprise upon hearing my faint voice and looks straight at me. But immediately he gently sighs and grins with one side of his cheek raised as usual.
"No way around it. It seems you still don't understand my good points."
Paul shrugs his shoulders and smiles like this. The previous atmosphere completely disappears and the king of beasts is still alive. But seeing his so typical appearance, I feel that I'm a bit sly and at the same time I'm relieved.
If there is a gravitational pull of mutual attraction and connection, there will be things that are separated because of it. Realizing this again, my chest aches a bit. But I still have the thought in my heart that I don't want to leave.
"Blake."
"Good work."
I hurriedly return to the preparation room, pull open the door with a rattle. In the dim room, there comes the movement of shifting the body and a gentle voice. Without even turning on the light, I quickly walk towards him, stretch out my arms and hug Blake.
In the warmth within that embrace, there's a sharp pain in my chest as if being tightly clutched.
"... Teacher? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Nothing."
I hope this warmth won't be separated. Such a thought of myself is really sly indeed.