I don't own DC
It was a beautiful Gotham morning… I know I'm surprised too. So apart from that it was an average day… people calmly walked through the streets, cars were briskly moving to and fro carrying people to and from work, there were even the sounds of actual songbirds chirruping in the air... But we're not here for that we're here for the pair of men that walked out of a nearby Gotham Alleyway. Both of whom were almost complete opposites of each other at first glance.
One was hunched over like he had a bad back and had a slight limp in his left leg. A large bushy white beard covered his grumpy-looking old face, he wore a large heavy coat and sweater, work gloves, and a knit woolen cap. He looked like a cross between a dock worker and a homeless man, mostly because he didn't smell like the latter.
The other was far more respectable looking. Tall, broad-shouldered, handsome in a geeky way with his plain glasses and clean-cut look. He seemed to be a lawyer dressed in his nice grey suit and much younger than the dock worker… In fact, one might say he was actually 'mild-mannered'. However, something they both had in common was upon their faces: They both had strong jawlines and powerful determined eyes.
These two were important for more than one reason but for right now… they were 'off the clock' as it were.
"Was going through three alleyways, a condemned building, and over a rooftop really necessary to get here?" asked the younger-looking man with a humored smile on his face. "Seems excessive."
"Then you're not paying attention." Replied the grumpy dock worker, with a surprisingly younger voice than expected.
"Also… why the look?" he asked, gesturing to the older man in general. "Is that really necessary?"
The grumpy dock worker gave the man a cold look. "Yes." He said simply, "I don't think you quite understand what it means for me to go in there."
"I mean… it SOUNDS embarrassing on its own really." He replied simply, "But not that bad."
They stood just a few feet now from their destination. The Grumpy Dock worker glared sternly at him. "You were the one who wanted to check it out. I'm doing YOU a favor." He said concernedly.
"Yeah but in the day? It's a 24-hour restaurant?" he asked looking at the sign of 'Superbabes' over the building.
"More or less. It closes on certain days, holidays, a few hours in the morning to clean up if necessary." The dock worker replied. "But what's important is we go in when their Employer is gone."
"If avoiding the boss is the problem why dress up?"
"Because I can't go in there without being swarmed by women. Whose sole job is to skim tips from people with their temptations." Well. Not their SOLE job… but he didn't need to tell him that.
"A trillionaire, rich, playboy philanthropist does have its disadvantages." Replied his friend cheerfully.
"More than a reporter." He replied confidently. "And if you keep pressing me on this I'm sending Lois an anonymous tip that Superman frequents the place." He added as his friend looked legitimately concerned and somewhat unnerved at that prospect.
"…Low blow Bob." He said, using the man's 'alias'.
"Yeah well. The price we pay for you to satisfy your 'alien' curiosity." He added, "…If anyone asks, which I don't doubt. You're doing an expose on Gotham dockworkers. And the only way I agreed to be interviewed is if you paid for lunch here."
"Whatever you say Bob." He said with a smile, "…So am I actually paying? Or…"
"I'll reimburse you." Bob replied crisply, then added with a completely different voice. Gravelly and aged. "Let's go already Mr. Kent."
Kent and Bob opened the front door to the tinkle of the bell and almost immediately poor Mr. Kent didn't really know where to look… he knew where the average man would WANT to look, but he knew he shouldn't-
"Hello." Smiled definitely a good match for Wonder Woman at the hostess podium. "Table for two?"
"Uh… yes di-Miss." He said, almost saying 'Diana' the woman was such a match. But now that he got a real good look at her she was 'softer' in places more than Diana was.
"Livewire." Wonder Woman declared, "Seat these two please?"
Definitely NOT Livewire approached them both, eyeing Mr. Kent up rather interestedly before speaking in a definitely not Livewire voice. "Follow me. Chicos." She said casually, leading them toward a nearby table and making sure their eyes would be immediately drawn to the big blue backside almost wobbling out of the uniform… Livewire definitely didn't have THAT.
They sat down in the mostly empty Superbabes as she handed them menus, "You Chicos know what you want or do you want me to come back?" Mr. Kent however was thoroughly examining her body, once over the initial shock of 'Livewire' and her distinctly un-Livewire body, he realized that… she was blue. Superintelligence at work right there.
"Uh-" he began before glancing at the menu.
"Catwoman meal for me." Replied Bob grumpily, handing Livewire back his menu. Then after waiting for Mr. Kent to examine the sheer amount of various foods on the menu he noted quickly with an eye roll. "He'll have the Power Girl meal with bacon."
"Alright then. I like a guy who knows what he wants." Winked Livewire sultrily, before absently taking Mr. Kent's menu and pressing it to her generous hip before walking, and wobbling away.
"…It's so much worse than I expected." Mr. Kent mumbled, gazing at Livewire walking into the back, along with Star Sapphire, Vixen, Fire and Ice walking around on the floor. And he'd probably see much more if he chanced a glance through the walls. Catching Wonder Woman's eye she gave him a polite smile and waved. It occurred to him that she CLEARLY recognized him from that brief moment they met in Metropolis what felt like ages ago. Of course, back then he didn't see her in 'uniform'. Completely different experience.
"Was that Livewire really blue?" asked Mr. Kent.
"She's part alien from what I hear." Bob replied casually, "Something called a Sluutavan. I asked Hal about them once… it might be a little spicy for you." He replied straight-faced.
Mr. Kent seemed offended at that remark. "Seriously?"
"They're very liberated." Bob clarified… "…Very. It's to my understanding that she comes from a family of 80 documented children. And that's just the ones the Lanterns were aware off." he added as Mr. Kent looked at him suspiciously.
"…How do you know that?" Bob just gave him a look at Mr. Kent, saying an unspoken obvious catchphrase, before he helped himself to some water, dropped at their table abruptly by a legitimately furry cheetah. "…And I'm supposed to be the reporter. What about her?"
"Bang Baby." Bob replied as Mr. Kent raised an eyebrow.
"…From Dakota? Here in Gotham?"
"Very popular on the internet in the furry community from what I hear." He replied unconcerned, hardly even GLANCING at the Harley Quinn laughing at something Star Sapphire said.
"Mr. Clark Kent." Said Wonder Woman suddenly and both men's attention turned to her as she held a pair of plates, both of which their orders rested on. She placed the Power Girl meal in front of Mr. Clark Kent, and the catwoman meal in front of Bob. "Finally decided to do a review of our restaurant?" she smiled, leaning over and giving Clark an eyeful of Wonder Woman cleavage that he suddenly felt spectacularly uncomfortable about.
"I'm afraid not." He replied politely. "I'm interviewing Bob here." He smiled at Bob. "He says it's his absolute favorite place." Was he being vindictive? Maybe… but it was still a little funny.
"It IS?" cooed Wonder Woman, "Well we do like repeat customers here." She then raised an eyebrow at Bob as he rapidly tore into his chicken. "…Don't recognize you though. I bet you clean up nice." She said sweetly as Clark raised an eyebrow at that.
"That good with customers are you?"
"You'd be surprised how good with faces we are." She said as he… couldn't really relate… putting on glasses apparently made him a completely different person after all. "But we all have our favorites." She then eyed Bob. "…Which one is yours?" she cooed seductively as Clark gave Bob an apologetic, but almost smug look.
…Awkward as it might be for HIM to ogle a woman dressed as Diana. For a man who once dated her pretty seriously it must be torture… or not… it WAS 'Bob' after all.
"I like the view but I don't have any particular tastes." Bob replied with a gravelly voice. "Kent here says he'd pay for my meal and I like it here."
"Well thanks Bob." She ruffled his cap, "You boys just holler if you want something… or whistle. Or maybe if you just want a private interview with the girls Mr. Kent? I'm sure my boss would love the publicity."
"I'll think about it." he smiled nervously as Bob gave HIM a look. Wonder Woman winked and walked back to the podium, apparently the breakfast rush now in full. More and more girls began to walk out from the back… including-
"Giganta, you don't think you could take on Riddler?" asked Power Girl bouncing onto the floor with the 7-foot woman, also joining her to help out.
"I'm sure if I could get my hands on him I could break him in half but he's pretty smart and I don't actually have superpowers… I mean I'm over 7 feet tall and can lift the back of a lightweight car but that's not a superpower really that's just strength training."
"True." Cooed Power Girl agreeably. "But I still think you could take him."
"Didn't you say strength isn't everything?" replied Giganta cheerfully, absently ruffling an AWED collage boy's head as her big sexy body strutted by.
"I said strength isn't everything when it involves Batman." Declared Power Girl proudly, displaying her fondness for the dark knight. "Why do you think he kicks Superman's ass all the time?"
…Speaking of whom, he CHOKED on his surprisingly delicious burger. "COUGH! COUUGH!" he garbled as Bob smirked at him. He recovered quickly, and somehow KNEW he planned this… SOMEHOW. It was Bruce after all.
"You planned that." he smirked as Bruce's eye twinkled.
"…I merely expected it. You'd be surprised at the conversations these girls have."
"…If they're like this with their boss gone I'm curious about how they act with her here…"
Bruce finished his first piece of chicken, then noted rather casually. "Would it surprise you to know they're a lot worse?"
Clark, about to get back to eating his burger glanced at his friend. "…Maybe." He took a big bite, chewed and swallowed, before moving his lips and not speaking. Bruce could read lips after all and he wanted this conversation private for the moment. "…You don't kick my ass all the time." He said smugly with a bantering smile.
"…Agree to disagree Clark." Replied Bruce casually in a whisper so soft that only Superman could hear it… luckily he could. And they maintained this manner of private conversation as they continued.
"I could literally break your bones with a poke of my finger." Clark smirked as Batman glanced at him, the second piece of chicken halfway to his mouth as Bruce gave him a look behind his fake beard.
"…But can you figure out where I'm keeping the kryptonite on my person right now?" Clark's face fell slightly.
"…You didn't bring kryptonite."
"Clark, I always have kryptonite."
"You always have kryptonite?" Clark frowned at him. "Seriously?"
"Maybe." He replied simply as Clark suddenly looked Bruce over… then frowned.
"…Did you line that entire outfit with lead?" he sighed exasperatedly as Bruce gave him a genuine smile.
"Yes." He replied as Clark resisted the urge to laugh out loud.
"Okay. REALLY?"
"I figured if you were going to use x-ray vision anywhere it would be here."
"Well that's just insensitive…" he began as Power Girl heading back to the back quickly with Giganta, strutted by and winked at him only for him to groan, close his eyes and look back at Bruce. "…Yeah. No. That would be as awkward as I think it is." They were quiet for a minute, as Bruce finished his chicken.
"…How's the food?"
"It's actually pretty good." Replied Clark.
"I know right?" Bruce replied, "I'm actually kind of amazed." However, before they could continue… suddenly Giganta rushed out back onto the floor and shouted firmly.
"Nobody Panic!" the girls remained calm, and the patrons looked briefly confused until there was the sound of a small explosion nearby. The crowd didn't listen, but it occurred to Clark that maybe Giganta wasn't talking to the patrons as the girls looked mildly concerned at worst.
"…We better go." Bruce said, and there was a generous tip on the table, along with a good portion of the meal. "With the crowd." He said as the patrons panicked and rushed out, but Clark was already gone. Bruce walked outside, ripped off his beard and turned into an alleyway. A grapnel flew out, followed by the Batman. Landing on a nearby roof he viewed the bank heist and waited as something landed next to him.
"…Did you leave a 30% tip?" asked Superman as Batman glared at him. "…I was just surprised. I didn't think you would."
"I can afford it." he replied dismissively. "Don't see why I wouldn't."
"Trillionaire playboy instincts maybe trying to impress the waitresses?" Superman replied as the robbers rushed out of the bank firing warning shots into the air. Getting into the getaway car.
"Should I handle that or are you?" Batman asked coolly as Superman just smiled.
"I don't know that Giganta said she could lift a car, ask her." Batman glared at him. "I got it." he said quickly as the car moved and abruptly stopped crashing into a blue and red pillar that came out of nowhere as Batman said, speaking out loud so Superman heard him.
"I will tell Lois."
"Don't you dare." Superman mouthed up at him, posing heroically as Batman added.
"You never did find the kryptonite." That he may, or may not be carrying.
End
…There is actually no real purpose to this. I was a little stressed, and a little depressed… and I just wanted to write something 'cute' and funny without pressure for a sex scene. Especially since I still need to write Bumblebee's, which should be up today, or tomorrow now that I'm in a much better writing mood.
So if you enjoyed this I'm glad. If you didn't I'm sorry. I legitimately love writing Superbabes: but I think for the first time I wrote something in Superbabes legitimately just for me, if that makes any sense. I usually say if I think it's funny I do it. That deeply applies to this particular chapter.
Okay back to our regularly unscheduled debauchery