I don't own DC
"Hmmmn…hmmmSNORT…mmmn…"
BOOM! BOOM! BWOM! BOOM! BOOM-BOOM-BOOM BWOM!
"Nngh!" she sat up in bed, the killer hangover banging her brain thanks to the sounds of bass. And JUST bass started filling her room. What the feck was that?! Silver Banshee glared around her dark messy room, tossed aside her Fluttershy daikamura a present from her niece, (she thought it was just a big horse girl pillow, Banshee still loves it) and got out of bed.
Dressed in tight boxers she wasn't sure were hers and a threadbare tank top she kicked aside a few empty Irish whiskey bottles and made her way to the window. Last night was fun for her, her team at the roller derby won, and that snarky bitch Rebecca invited them all out for drinks.
BOOM! BOOM! BWOM! BOOM! BOOM-BOOM-BOOM BWOM!
Her window rattled from the bass… why the FUCK do people do that? Turn up the bass as loud as possible? Nobody wants to fecking hear that shite especially at… 7:00? 7:00 in the fecking morning?! she lifted her window to be hit with a BLAST of the noise. Because again… it WASN'T FECKING MUSIC… and stuck her head out the window of her Gotham apartment to search for the source.
There seemed to be a Traverse Truck outside, modified so it had large custom subwoofers in the back. Expensive ones, she could tell at a glance. She'd say that the truck was 'pimped out' but that would be an insult to anything living or not that was 'pimped out'. Five of the local hoods stood around it talking… our at least fecking attempting to talk to the driver as he showed it off.
"Hey! Turn that shite off!" she roared angrily. And like her job's namesake, 'Banshee' they fecking heard her. The five hoods were local boys and realizing not only was Silver Banshee home this morning but now she was pissed… they were concerned.
The driver, who was not local, raised his arm out his window, turned UP the noise, and said "Fuck off!" flipping her the bird.
Silver Banshee took a DEEP breath through her nose, and with the pulsating pain in her head. She slammed the window shut and moved to her closet. Swinging it open, carefully moving her niece's toys aside. They were left here so her niece would have something to play with when Silver Banshee babysat her at the apartment. She promptly retrieved HER toy…
She deftly swung the aluminum bat onto her shoulder, and walked casually to her front door, opening it up and running a fingerless gloved hand over Snickers, Mrs. Magilicutty's cat, on the railing. She purred under her hand as she walked down the hall, Mrs. Magilicutty herself opening her door.
"Ashley dear. What is that noise?" she asked sweetly but nervously in her own Irish accent.
"A fecking nuisance." Silver Banshee replied stiffly.
"…Are you going to take care of it dear?" she asked sweetly.
"Aye." Replied Silver Banshee coldly. "Top O the morning to you Mrs. Magilicutty."
"Have fun dear." Smiled to old lady, "Snickers come." And the cat obeyed, leaping down from the railing and slipped right in.
Silver Banshee strutted outside, glaring coldly at the truck that didn't know its place as the hoods suddenly took a step away. "Oh shit, it's 'Hot Ashe'."
"What the fuck are you guys worried about?" the man got out of the truck, eyed her up and down as she stood before him, laughing as she held the bat on her shoulder. "Seriously? This skinny bitch?" he asked, "…Shit she at least looks like a good-LAY!" he grunted as she abruptly kneed him in the balls, he bent forward to before she CRACKED him with the bat, not swinging it but gripping at both ends, and sending him to the pavement with a groan. "You… fucking-" but he was quickly silenced when-
SMASH!!
Bwwoom bwoom- SMASH! Booooooo- SMASH! Bwoooob-....SMASH!!....... SMASH!!!!!
Then EVERYTHING was silenced.
Silver Banshee took a deep breath and smiled at the sweet, SWEET sound of silence and shattered subwoofers. The hoods stared terrified at her as she eyed the groaning man as he furiously began to get to his feet.
"Sorry… couldn't FECKING HEAR YEA OVER THE NOISE!!" she roared angrily at him.
"You fucking BITCH! GURGH!!" she kneed him in the balls again, harder, and he went down. "FUCK!!"
"People are trying to sleep around here you fecking-SHITE!" she snarled, smacking him hard in the arm (and one-handed) with the bat.
"Do you have any idea what those cost?!" he roared before she took out a side-view mirror with a casually upward swing, the hoods flinched and collectively groaned.
"Yes. Now shut the feck up…" she put the end of the bat on his face and squatted down like a Japanese delinquent thug. "See around here, people know better…" she lifted the bat slightly and let it drop on his face as he flinched in pain. "Nobody wants to hear your FECKING noise in the morning…" she put some pressure on it, he flinched more noticeably in pain.
"I'm calling the cops bitch! I have witnesses!"
She looked legitimately surprised, looking left, looking right… "Oh aye? Do yea?" sounding legitimately concerned. "Hey. You lot, did you see who beat the SHITE out of this fecker?" she asked the hoods.
The hoods were all suddenly looking in a different direction, admiring the beautiful morning or how a shattered mirror looks just like stars when spread on the pavement, as I've said… they were local boys. They knew better than to mess with 'Hot Ashe' Ashley when she was hungover, or in a mood, or sleepy… actually just don't FUCK with 'Hot Ashe' Ashley. Neighborhood motto.
"Huh… no witnesses…" she replied calmly with a dismissive shrug. "…Get the feck off my block before I knock YOURS off!" she snarled and stepped away from him as he crawled into his Traverse truck and sped off quickly, she then eyed the hoods. "Well? Feck off." she said, somewhat calmer… but she DID still have that bat in hand.
They scattered calmly as she shouldered her bat, "In Dublin next arrived, I thought it such a pity
To be soon deprived a view of that fine city…" she sang melodiously to herself, she often did when she was in a 'good mood' as she went back into her apartment building and skipped up the stairs.
"All done dear?" Mrs. Magilicutty asked sweetly as Snickers slipped out and purred as she rubbed against Silver Banshee's legs.
"Aye Mrs. Magilicutty."
"Did you 'rough em up' good?" she said sounding like an encouraging grandmother after her winning grandson's football game.
"Aye Mrs. Magilicutty." She replied smirking, reaching for her door, "Now if you don't mind Mrs. Magilicutty I'm going to sleep off my hangover."
"Lightweight." Smirked the old woman crassly as she quietly shut the door. Ashley just smiled and went back to bed
End.