Last night, Arya brought that jerk for an apology session and i could tell he felt bad for him myself. BUT, I'm done with Arya's apology sessions and the jerk who came with her. I'm focusing on myself now, keeping to myself and staying private. It's crazy enough that I can see dead people, but at least it's only my late family and not anyone else. If I'm going mad, so be it - at least I won't feel like an orphan anymore that i already am by default.
I woke up quite early, took breakfast, walked out of the house as the sun rose over the neighbourhood, casting a warm glow over the street. I walked down the sidelines with my backpack slung over my shoulders to the bus stop.
When the bus finally arrived i took a seat near the back and beside the window and my eyes gazed out of the window as the bus pulled away from the curb. The girl beside me obviously a cheerleader had her earphones on the whole time, i could tell from her sleek black and gold uniform with 's' inscribed in the front.
Her relaxed and chill atmosphere got me wondering if her life is messed up like mine, she was lost somewhere else or perhaps lost in the music pouring through her earphones, if she was hidding her own struggles behind that sleek uniform and headphones.
On the bus, i saw Tessa, she was on her phone even in her death, she looked over once and smiled. Should I be scared? I tried to ignore her ghostly presence.
Right now and again, I am in the school hallway, kids rush to their lockers with friends and laughing amidst footsteps and chatter, lockers slams and backpacks zipping up fills the air. Some are sipping coffee or energy drinks others are munching on breakfast or snacks. Friends greet each other with high-fives, hugs, or quick hellos hurrying to their next class. Posters and flyers advertising school events, clubs, and sports teams line the walls. Teachers and staff members push through the crowds, offering words of encouragement and reminders about upcoming deadlines that i think are quite infeasible. Amidst everything is me and my heart squeezed for a second when this kid hands me a science club flyer. She has a bright smile and hair styled in a bun. She looks very friendly.
"Hi there, i'm Chantelle." She says softly handing out a colourful flyer. "I am from the science club we are having our first meeting next week, we'd love for you to join us!"
"Thanks, i will check it out" i say and my face lightens up as i scan the flyer.
"What's your name?"
"Isabella," I reply.
"So Isabel, we will be discussing some cool projects from robotics to environmental sciences, you must be a fan of science!" She exclaimed.
"Kinda" I reply, shrugging my shoulders.
"Okay, i see that you are new, you might even use some new friends" She smiles showing off her braces and dimples.
"That's funny, tbh" I say shrugging off my shoulders.
"I am serious" She says laughing.
"Well, I don't need people acting all mushy around me it's disgusting" I say, rolling my eyes.
"Yikes, the club is gas. Periodt." She says, grinning.
"Oh really?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.
"Gotta run now." Chantelle says as she walks off into the busy hallway, in a distance i can see her putting a poster on the wall. Such an enthusiast!
"Look who is joining the school's nerd force again," I hear Tessa's annoying voice over my shoulders. "Isabella Nicole Norman popularly know as INN, yikes" her tone dripping with sacarsm.
Well, I have watched a ton of movies and i know that when the main character starts taking to ghost in public, people thinks she is mad and as a result no one wants to be her friends. And as far as i am concerned, i am the main character in my own story.
"Look at the dude behind you, he is kinda hot, wouldn't it be..." I look at Tessa and slam my locker door trying to block her out. A few people look over. I walked into the restroom and enter an empty toilet.
"Slamming the door while i am talking is rude, considerably a suicide mission"
"Talking back is quite crazy, considerably mad"
"Oh, i forgot i'm dead"
"Doesn't it even bother you, gosh?"
"Me? Na! It's very peaceful, nobody is looking over my shoulders and picking on me every two seconds, i do whatever i want, i follow no damn rules, i am an independent woman, girl"
See? She's out of control.
"I am high key stressed over y'all"
"Cap," she laughs, her voice filled with amusement "Why do you even want to join the nerd force, don't you ever think about being top?"
"Sometimes, i am not joining the nerd forces it is just a science club!" I answer, exsperated.
"Girl, you didn't come to school dressed like you are mourning" Tessa says, her eyes darkening.
"Am i not?" I reply, smiling wryly trying to cover the fact i just do not know how to dress like other kids.
"You are so extra, bella, Who are you mourning? Definitely not me, drop that shit...." Tessa stops for a while her eyes glinting with a hint of malice and I am sure the next thing that comes out of her mouth will be savage, trust me.
"Why do i feel like our good looking cousin told someone about you and your no-longer-with-you family, don't be surprised if you start hearing side gossips, have you even stopped for one second to listen to what the girls in the next toilet are saying?" Tessa says and for the first time her eyes darkens like a dead person's. I feel a shiver run down my spine.
First and foremost, i am not interested in what the girls are saying, it is not my business.
"Tessa, what are you talking about?" I whisper.
Secondly, well, personally i am not sure that jerk will do that after what happened yesterday but as far as i know Tessa, she is always right and that explains why she is the Barbie of her class and yaaas for a second, i listen to the girls.
"Poor thing, i cannot even imagine losing my whole family, is she a witch? How did she even survive without a scratch? She's better off dead her life is just sad, I don't think she will graduate..."
My chest tightens andI feel a hot bubble building up in my chest. Tears are pricking from the corners of my eyes, but i will not cry. I turn and rush out of the toilet and yank open the girls' toilet door.
"I am over here," i say in a deliberate matter of fact voice. "Would you mind repeating that?" I could hear Tessa's laugh behind me and the girls snicker
"Look who we have here, the sad girl" One sneers and the others chuckle.
"Uh, pathetic little child, God feels sorry for your soul. Maybe if you weren't so strong-headed maybe you'd have been six feet under our feet and miles away from here" She is not done yet and she runs her mouth. "Sucks to be you!"
"Maybe if she wasn't such a cootie her gone-to-a-better-place family wouldn't have left her out, even in death." Someone finally adds and now the bubble in my chest bursts and i look over to Tessa, gone to a better place my foot.
"Sad girl? Pathetic? Huh? Don't you even feel more pathetic for yourselves, all five of you hiding and squeezing yourselves in this tiny messy place meant for waste, you see, i don't blame you when this place describes your messed up personalities. Shouldn't you be more pathetic running your mouth around people's lives like rats, sucks to be me but sucks worse to be you. No cap, the tea would have sounded better over the school's megaphone, you good for nothing scared yet pathetic, sorry assed trailer trash bitches!"
I let it all out once more, for the second time. They all look attacked and none of them dares move a muscle. They must be sorry for their asses now if they have some good sense. The spat isn't a lie but if you cannot take it do not dish it. And for the third time, i slam the door but this time at their faces and that i will say is the coolest. I hear my sister clap and she whispers.
"My girl, they should be sorry!"
Disrespect me not, i am Isabella Nicole Norman. Daddy calls me Nicole when he was alive and even in death, most people call me bella others call me Ella, strange people call me Elle and this is me!