"I'm sorry, but what the hell were you thinking!?" Josh scolded, gently but firmly muffing my forehead with the tips of his fingers.
I told him what happened last night and now he's looking at me like I just bulldozed a bunch of baby bunny rabbits.
"I tried to apologize, but he didn't want to hear it."
"I wouldn't either. I mean come on, Phel. Not only did you call out another man's name during sex, but it was his brother's name you called!"
I felt a few pairs of eyes drift to where Josh and I were sitting, having heard Josh loudly expose my business to the rest of the restaurant.
I clearly hadn't been embarrassed enough.
"I know, I know," I said with a heavy sigh, not wanting to be reminded of the horrors of last night. It was the biggest mistake I have ever made, and one I will never forget no matter how much I want to.
I buried my face in my hands and groaned. "How can I fix this?"
"You can't," he said, taking a sip of his coffee before continuing. "What's done is done."
I looked up at him and groaned once more. I should have known that he wouldn't have a solution.
"He should be able to forgive me. I mean it's not like I fucked the man."
"True, but it was him you were imagining balls deep inside you. So technically you did."
"I hate you sometimes," I mumbled, rolling my eyes.
"You'll be aight. Now I'm no Dr. Phil, but I recommend giving the man his space. And when he's ready, he'll hit you up."
I hope so.
"So," I said, changing the subject. "Did home girl hit you up last night?"
"Of course she did. She couldn't resist ya boy." He popped his nonexistent collar and winked. "I had that girl screaming my name all night. Not my brother's, but mine."
I reached across the table and punched his arm. "You're such an asshole."
He just laughed, finding humor in my current misery. When his phone buzzed and he looked down at the screen, his smile dropped, his entire mood changing.
"Aye, I got to go." He shoved his phone into the pocket of his bomber jacket and stood up.
"Wait, where are you going? Is everything okay?"
"I'm just going to go handle some business. It's nothing you need to worry about. I'll catch you later."
"Okay."
I don't know what kind of business he was about to handle, but I really hope it wasn't something that would land him behind bars.
Something in my gut told me that I should be worried, but I chose to trust and believe him anyway.
After paying for our coffee and handing the waitress a twenty-dollar tip, I decided to go for a stroll in the city.
Every now and then, I would check my phone and contemplate whether or not I should call Rider. But each time I was close to calling him up, words reminded me that I'm supposed to be giving him his space.
My phone rang in my pocket, causing me to put my walk on hold and answer the phone.
"Hey mom."
"Hi honey. I'm just reminding you about tonight's dinner with the Haywood's and Wright's."