Yes, I love you so much, so much that I hate youSo much that I hate the fact that I'm making myself a foolI hate you so much that I will never wish you peaceI hate you just knowing that I'm not the girl you're going to missI hate it whenever you smile, and I know it is not for meI hate you to the point of wishing you miseryThat every moment you spend with her will be a tragedy..But I must accept that your happiness lies elsewhereAnd I will strive to find my own joy, free from despairI am torn between the love I feel and the pain it bringsWishing for a chance to be the one who makes your heart sing..For every step you take in my directionI embosom it like a borrowed possessionMy heart flutters whenever a smile forms in your mouthAsking my soul, What have you done to my blissful south?..This love you nurtured when I beganTime told me it could never be undone!With your presence that is so persistent and adamantI see them as the beautiful rays of the sunOther times, I wish I could shut this heart down with a gun..Your rejection seems like a daggerThrown on me, I sank deeper and deeperTreating me as if I had a perilous feverIt makes me want to forget that you arethe master of this archer..But still, I'm right here, standing before you.Looking like a young girl, so immature.My mister, only if you knew.I'm secretly kissing your picture.Hoping you will feel that my intentions are pure.This pain I feel inside that I have to endure.That only a piece of your attention is my only cure...Baby, you don't have a clueHow much I painted our sky as blueIn my masterpiece, you are my museA paintbrush I'm afraid to loseThe colors I blend in the perfect hueAnd a subject I need to decipher too..It is funny how your slow breathingMakes me contest my very beingIf one day comes when you are thinking of leavingThose discreet glances-I'll take them with meNever spill them like what they do in a tea..You are the autumn casting the springThe light that blinds me in the morningThe wind that embraces me every eveningThe moon that shines when the dark is risingA cruel sun that conquers my soul before the dawn is breakingA precious piece of memory I'm going to bringUp until the last days of my splendid living..By then, I'll hide in the corners where I used to sitWaiting for you to be mine like a flower bound to wiltCause I know deep inside that I'm not yours to begin with.---------------------------------------------------From the author:You might be wondering why I entitled this as "I hate you," wherein most of the stanzas are full of admiration. Well, despite hating him, I still trap myself in the fantasy of loving him. Guess I'm just hopeless, not so romantic.Sometimes, I hate myself for loving him.I used to think I should divide this into two poems, but I feel like I can convey the essence of my hate if I write the remaining stanzas about my unwavering attraction to him.Tell me more in the comment section below.Writing Anonymously,BabaengPalaisipan