Luan Xie sat by the window, watching the sunlight glint off his mother's gold bracelet as it shimmered in his hand. The intricate patterns reflected memories long gone—echoes of a life he no longer belonged to. The bracelet was a keepsake from another time, one that grounded him in the harsh truth: no matter how much he wished it otherwise, he didn't belong in this world.
His gaze shifted to He Shun, who was lounging on the couch, scrolling through his phone with an ease that Luan Xie envied. He Shun, with his infectious smile, his gentle words, had somehow become Luan Xie's anchor in a life that wasn't his own. For a moment, just a brief moment, Luan Xie let himself believe that maybe things could be different, that maybe he could have a life with He Shun. Maybe he could be loved again.
But it was fleeting. Deep down, Luan Xie knew this was all temporary. His heart was stuck in a timeline he could never escape, a timeline where He Shun didn't exist. He was living in borrowed time, and it wouldn't be long before the universe demanded him back.
He tried to ignore the ache that had settled in his chest, but it was there, persistent and heavy. His thumb traced the smooth surface of the bracelet, and he couldn't shake the feeling that this was all just a cruel trick of fate. His life had been shattered once, and now, just as he was beginning to piece himself back together, it felt like the ground was slipping out from under him again.
He Shun glanced up from his phone, noticing the faraway look in Luan Xie's eyes. "You've been staring at that bracelet for a while now," He Shun said softly, his tone filled with concern. "Are you okay?"
Luan Xie blinked, pulled from his thoughts. He forced a smile, tucking the bracelet back into his pocket. "Yeah," he lied, though he knew He Shun could see right through him.
He Shun stood up and crossed the room, sitting down next to Luan Xie on the windowsill. He was close—close enough that their knees touched. Luan Xie felt the warmth of his presence, the grounding sensation that came with it. It was something he had grown to rely on, and that frightened him more than anything.
"You don't have to hide from me, you know," He Shun said quietly. His gaze softened as he studied Luan Xie's face. "I already know what's going on in that head of yours."
Luan Xie's throat tightened. He knew He Shun wasn't just talking about the bracelet or the surface-level things. He knew everything—about Luan Xie's past, about the fact that he didn't belong here. He had known for a while now, ever since Luan Xie had first arrived. And yet, he had stayed. He hadn't pushed him away or treated him like he was some anomaly.
Still, Luan Xie struggled to find the words. He hated how vulnerable he felt in moments like this, like he was teetering on the edge of something he couldn't control. He wanted to open up to He Shun, but the fear of what was to come gnawed at him.
"I don't know how to do this," Luan Xie finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.
He Shun tilted his head, brow furrowing slightly. "Do what?"
"This. Us," Luan Xie gestured between them. "I don't know how to keep pretending that this is going to last when we both know it can't."
He Shun's face softened even more, and for a moment, Luan Xie thought he might cry. Instead, He Shun reached out and took his hand, his fingers warm and steady against Luan Xie's trembling ones.
"You think too much about the future," He Shun said quietly. "You always do that—think about how things will end before they even begin."
Luan Xie let out a shaky breath, his gaze dropping to their intertwined hands. "I don't have a choice. I don't belong here, He Shun. I came from the past, and eventually, I'm going to have to go back. You know that."
He Shun's grip on his hand tightened just slightly, his thumb brushing over Luan Xie's knuckles in a soothing rhythm. "I know," he said softly. "I've always known. But that doesn't mean I'm going to let that stop us from being together now."
Luan Xie's heart ached at those words. It was so simple for He Shun, so clear-cut. But for Luan Xie, it was anything but. He had spent so long running from the inevitable, so long trying to convince himself that this was just a temporary stop before he had to return to a life where happiness was fleeting, where love was a distant memory. How could He Shun be so sure when everything felt like it was slipping away?
"You don't understand," Luan Xie said, his voice cracking. "I'm going to have to leave. I don't know when or how, but I know it's going to happen. And when it does…"
He couldn't finish the sentence. The thought of losing He Shun, of leaving behind the one person who had made him feel whole again, was too much. It hurt in ways he couldn't even describe.
"I know," He Shun said again, his voice steady and calm. "But Luan Xie, you're here now. With me. That's what matters."
"But it's temporary," Luan Xie whispered, shaking his head. "I'm not supposed to be here."
"Who says?" He Shun asked, a hint of defiance in his voice. "Who decides where you're supposed to be? Time? The universe? You came here, didn't you? That means you're meant to be here, even if it's just for a while."
Luan Xie swallowed hard, his chest tight with emotion. "I'm afraid," he admitted, the words barely escaping his lips. "I'm afraid of what's going to happen when I leave. I'm afraid of losing you."
He Shun's hand cupped his cheek, turning Luan Xie's face toward him. Their eyes met, and Luan Xie saw nothing but warmth and love in He Shun's gaze. "You're not going to lose me," He Shun said softly. "No matter where you go, no matter what happens, you're always going to have me. I'm not going anywhere."
Luan Xie's throat constricted with emotion, and before he knew it, tears were slipping down his cheeks. He had spent so long trying to hold everything together, trying to be strong, but in this moment, with He Shun holding him so gently, it all came crashing down.
He Shun pulled him into his arms, holding him close as Luan Xie sobbed against his shoulder. He didn't say anything, didn't try to fix it. He just held him, letting Luan Xie fall apart in the safety of his embrace.
For what felt like hours, they stayed like that, wrapped in each other's arms, the world outside fading away. Luan Xie's tears eventually slowed, but the heaviness in his chest remained. He couldn't shake the feeling that no matter how much he wanted to believe He Shun's words, no matter how much he wanted to stay in this moment forever, it was only a matter of time before everything came crashing down.
When Luan Xie finally pulled away, his face streaked with tears, he looked at He Shun with a mixture of sadness and gratitude. "I don't deserve you," he whispered.
He Shun shook his head, wiping away the last of Luan Xie's tears with the pad of his thumb. "Don't say that. You deserve every bit of happiness, Luan Xie. Even if you don't think so."
Luan Xie wanted to believe him. He wanted to believe that he was worthy of love, that he was worthy of happiness. But the scars of his past, the weight of everything he had lost, still lingered. It was hard to shake the feeling that he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the universe to take away the one thing that had brought light back into his life.
He Shun seemed to sense his inner turmoil because he leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to Luan Xie's forehead. "We'll figure it out," he whispered. "No matter what happens, we'll figure it out. Together."
Luan Xie closed his eyes, letting the warmth of He Shun's words wash over him. He didn't know what the future held—whether he would be pulled back to his own time, whether he would lose He Shun—but for now, in this moment, he was here. He was loved. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.
He held onto He Shun a little tighter, savoring the feeling of being in his arms, of being seen, of being cared for. He didn't know how long this would last, but he was going to hold onto it for as long as he could.
For now, he was here.
And that was enough.