I shifted my gaze from the photo back to the chat we had after that café meeting.
Lü: Why didn't you reply to my message?
Me: Oh, I was busy, didn't really notice.
Lü: You feel different now.
Me: What's different?
Lü: Women have sharp intuition, you know? When we left in the afternoon, I could tell something was off with you. Is it because of my ex?
That was pretty much the conversation. It was obvious that I found it a bit strange—why did she still seem so close with her ex? Her explanation was that after so much time together, there were still unresolved things between them.
Over the next few times we met, it always felt like she was constantly on her phone, either texting or taking calls. She seemed busy, yet at the same time acted calm, like she really enjoyed listening to me talk. We weren't exactly in a relationship—it was more like a mutual flirtation. Our chats included phrases like "I miss you," but our relationship wasn't that intimate.
In the weeks that followed, I decided to dig into her background through some social connections. In a small town, that wasn't too hard to do. She was from a nearby town, from a working-class family—nothing too poor, just average. Her parents weren't well-educated, so they couldn't offer much constructive advice. After leaving school, she worked at a small cosmetics wholesale store, and a few months later, through a friend's recommendation, she moved on to a large local restaurant called "Oriental Pavilion." The place had a rising reputation and was rumored to be run by a mob boss who opened it for his wife. Thanks to these connections, the restaurant's business was booming. While working there, Lü Xiaoran caught the boss's eye and eventually became his mistress.
I asked her directly, "Why would you do that? He's so much older than you. What could you two possibly talk about?"
She replied, "I don't know. He was really nice to me back then. I didn't understand much at the time. I just felt happy, so I went along with it. Later, I realized it wasn't right and stopped contacting him, even moved to other jobs. But he kept finding excuses to see me, not to do much, just to have tea or sing. I didn't know how to reject him."
I knew exactly what had happened. She had just started working, didn't know much about the world, and when a well-connected guy showed her attention, it was easy for her to fall for it. But this changed my feelings. I still liked her, but part of me felt twisted inside, seeing her as less "pure" and wanting to distance myself. I started to ignore her on purpose, which only made her anxious. She kept texting me non-stop. I became a little arrogant during that time. Hu Yao even asked me why I wasn't responding to her, saying that Lü Xiaoran was really sad, that she had even cried a few times. She told me Lü Xiaoran had broken up with Zhao a long time ago and really liked me.
Even when we did meet, I started using harsher words to provoke her.
One afternoon, we met at a café that was known for its privacy. Every booth had curtains, so unless a waiter came in, no one would disturb you. It was a spot where couples usually went. The booths weren't soundproof, and you couldn't get away with anything too extreme, but it was still private enough.
"What's your deal? If you keep acting weird, I'm going to smack that weirdness out of you," she said, breaking the silence.
"Excuse me," a waiter's voice interrupted from outside the curtain. The waiter came in, placed our order on the table, and said, "Enjoy. If you need anything, press the red button on the table." We both nodded, and the waiter left.
"Okay, spill it. What's up with you acting all strange?" Lü Xiaoran continued.
"I'm not acting strange. How am I being weird?" I said, playing innocent.
"Then why do you barely reply to my messages?"
"I did reply! I replied to every one," I said, brushing it off.
She immediately pulled out her phone, opened QQ, and started scrolling through the messages. "Look at this! I sent you so many, and you barely replied to any. Not even a tenth of them!"
"You're really counting them? Sometimes I'm busy and don't see them."
"I know you're bothered by the thing with Zhao. But we're really done," she said, sounding hurt.
"How do I know? How can you prove it?" I asked, with a mischievous grin.
"Prove it? I'll smack you!" She pretended to slap me but ended up with me grabbing her arm and pulling her onto me. I held her tight and lay back, so she ended up lying on top of me.
"You're so bad! I'll find that weirdness of yours and smack it right out," she said, blushing.
Seeing the moment was right, I slid my hand to her butt, and she immediately squirmed, trying to get away.
"Don't do that! It tickles," she said, shifting uncomfortably as she tried to get up.
"Come on, tell me, did you and Zhao ever cuddle like this?" I teased, holding her tighter and preventing her from getting up.
"We didn't. We didn't cuddle like this," she said matter-of-factly.
I wasn't expecting her to be so blunt, and it only fed my twisted curiosity. "So how did you two usually cuddle? What position did you use when you had sex?" I asked, continuing with the teasing tone.