Kazuki Yamada's return to university felt nothing like the fresh start he had envisioned. After spending a week in the hospital recovering from the accident that had derailed his first day, he was finally physically fit enough to attend classes. However, the emotional toll was much harder to shake off. As he made his way to the prestigious Tokyo University, he was filled with an overwhelming sense of dread. The nervous excitement that had accompanied him on his initial journey to campus was gone, replaced by a gnawing anxiety about the impression his late arrival would make on his classmates and professors.
The campus, which had once seemed vibrant and full of promise, now appeared intimidating. The tall buildings loomed over him, and the bustling energy of the students around him only served to highlight his own isolation. Kazuki walked through the crowded walkways, his eyes darting from one group of students to another. They all seemed so confident, so at ease in this new environment, while he felt like an outsider, an interloper in a world that had already moved on without him.
He tried to shake off the negative thoughts, reminding himself that this was his chance to start over, to build a new life free from the shadows of his past. But as he approached the entrance to his classroom, the knot of anxiety in his stomach tightened. The door seemed to grow larger as he reached for the handle, his hand trembling slightly. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open and stepped inside.
The classroom was already full, with students seated in small groups, chatting animatedly with one another. Kazuki's entrance drew a few curious glances, but most of the students quickly lost interest, returning to their conversations. Kazuki felt a pang of disappointment as he scanned the room, hoping to spot a friendly face or an empty seat near someone who looked approachable. Instead, he was met with indifference. The students had already formed their groups, and there was no place for him.
The professor, a middle-aged man with a stern expression, briefly looked up from his desk as Kazuki entered. "Ah, you must be Yamada," he said, his tone neutral. "I received notice of your delayed start. Please take a seat at the back."
Kazuki nodded silently, making his way to the empty seat in the last row. The back of the classroom felt even more isolating than he had imagined. From his vantage point, he could see the backs of his classmates' heads as they leaned in close to talk to one another, completely absorbed in their conversations. The sounds of laughter and whispered jokes filled the room, but none of it reached him. He was, quite literally, on the outside looking in.
As the lecture began, Kazuki tried to focus on the professor's words, but his mind kept drifting. He couldn't help but feel that his fears were coming true—he was being left out, forgotten before he'd even had a chance to make an impression. The more he tried to engage with the material, the more his thoughts spiraled into self-doubt. He worried that his late arrival would mark him as different, that his classmates would see him as someone who didn't belong. The idea of approaching any of them during a break or after class filled him with dread.
The morning dragged on, each passing minute feeling like an eternity. When the lecture finally ended, Kazuki felt a wave of relief, but it was quickly overshadowed by the realization that he now had to face the reality of interacting with his peers. As the other students filed out of the classroom in groups, chatting and laughing, Kazuki remained in his seat, hoping that someone might notice him, that someone might offer a kind word or an invitation to join them. But no one did. They all seemed too absorbed in their own conversations, too caught up in the excitement of their new university life to notice the quiet boy sitting alone at the back of the room.
Kazuki forced himself to stand up, his legs feeling heavy as he walked out of the classroom and into the bustling corridor. He moved through the throngs of students like a ghost, unseen and unheard. His attempts to make eye contact with anyone were met with blank stares or quick glances that slid away before he could muster the courage to say anything. The feeling of isolation was suffocating, and Kazuki found himself cursing his luck once again. It seemed as though the universe was punishing him for some unknown reason, as if he were destined to be alone, no matter where he went.
When lunchtime finally arrived, Kazuki found himself standing at the entrance to the university's cafeteria, clutching his bag tightly as he surveyed the room. The large, open space was filled with students, all seated in groups, chatting and laughing as they ate. The noise level was overwhelming, a cacophony of voices that made it difficult for Kazuki to focus. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he scanned the room, searching for an empty seat, but more importantly, for a place where he might be able to sit without feeling completely out of place.
His gaze landed on a small table near the back of the cafeteria, where a lone chair was available. With no other options, Kazuki made his way over, weaving through the maze of tables and chairs, careful not to bump into anyone. He reached the table and quickly sat down, feeling a sense of relief at having found a place to hide, even if just for a short while.
As he unwrapped the sandwich he had bought earlier that morning, Kazuki's eyes wandered around the room. He watched as groups of students talked animatedly, their laughter and smiles a stark contrast to the loneliness he felt. He couldn't help but overhear snippets of their conversations, most of which revolved around their excitement for university life, their plans for the weekend, and their impressions of the professors. It was clear that everyone had already settled in, that they had already begun to forge the bonds that would carry them through the years ahead.
Kazuki took a bite of his sandwich, but the food tasted like cardboard in his mouth. His appetite had disappeared, replaced by a growing sense of despair. He had hoped that university would be different, that he would be able to start fresh and leave the pain of his past behind. But now, it seemed like those hopes had been nothing more than naive fantasies. He felt as though he were invisible, a shadow among the living, unable to connect with anyone around him.
As he sat there, lost in his thoughts, Kazuki overheard a group of students at the next table talking about him. "Did you see that guy who came in late this morning?" one of them said, not bothering to lower their voice. "I wonder why he started late. Maybe he failed the entrance exams or something."
"Or maybe he's just lazy," another voice chimed in, accompanied by a snicker. "He doesn't look like someone who's very motivated."
Kazuki's face burned with shame as he listened to their casual speculation. They didn't even know him, but they were already making assumptions about his character, already judging him. It was exactly what he had feared—that his late arrival would set him apart in the worst possible way. The weight of their words pressed down on him, making him feel even smaller, even more insignificant.
Just as Kazuki was about to give up and leave the cafeteria, he heard a friendly voice call out to him. "Hey, you're the new guy, right?"
Kazuki looked up in surprise to see a girl standing in front of his table. She had a warm smile on her face, her long, brown hair falling in loose waves over her shoulders. Her eyes were bright and full of curiosity, and there was a genuine friendliness in her expression that immediately put Kazuki at ease.
"Mind if I sit with you?" she asked, gesturing to the empty chair across from him.
Kazuki was too stunned to reply at first, but he quickly nodded, motioning for her to sit down. "Sure," he managed to say, his voice barely above a whisper.
The girl sat down and set her tray on the table. "I'm Haruka Takahashi," she said with a smile, extending her hand. "Nice to meet you."
Kazuki hesitated for a moment before reaching out to shake her hand. "Kazuki Yamada," he replied, his voice still quiet but steady.
Haruka's smile widened. "So, Kazuki, I noticed you came in late this morning. Everything okay?"
Kazuki felt a lump form in his throat as he considered how much to tell her. He didn't want to burden her with his problems, but at the same time, he didn't want to lie. "I… I had an accident," he finally said, his voice tinged with embarrassment. "I was in the hospital for a week, so I couldn't start on time."
Haruka's expression softened with concern. "Oh no, that sounds awful! Are you okay now?"
Kazuki nodded, grateful for her concern. "Yeah, I'm fine now. Just… trying to catch up."
Haruka nodded understandingly. "Well, I'm glad you're okay. And don't worry about catching up—if you need any help, just let me know. I know it can be tough starting late, but you're not alone."
Kazuki felt a warmth spread through him at her words. For the first time since he had arrived at the university, he felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe things wouldn't be as bad as he had feared. Maybe, just maybe, he had a chance to start over after all.
As they continued to talk, Kazuki found himself relaxing for the first time in days. Haruka was easy to talk to, her friendly demeanor and genuine interest in getting to know him putting him at ease. They talked about their classes, their professors, and their experiences so far at the university. Har
uka shared some funny stories about her own awkward moments during the first week, making Kazuki laugh and feel more connected to her.
For the first time since he had arrived, Kazuki felt like he belonged. He wasn't just an outsider looking in—he was part of something, even if it was just a simple conversation over lunch. And as he looked across the table at Haruka's smiling face, he felt a sense of gratitude. She had reached out to him when no one else had, offering him a lifeline when he had felt like he was drowning.
As lunch came to an end and they both prepared to head to their next classes, Haruka gave Kazuki a reassuring smile. "I'm glad we met, Kazuki. Let's hang out again soon, okay?"
Kazuki smiled back, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders. "Yeah, I'd like that."
As he walked to his next class, Kazuki's steps felt lighter, his heart no longer weighed down by despair. He still had a long way to go, but for the first time, he felt like he could see a path forward. Maybe university wouldn't be as easy as he had hoped, but with someone like Haruka by his side, he felt like he could handle whatever challenges came his way.
And for the first time in what felt like forever, Kazuki allowed himself to believe that things might just get better after all.