"So now you know me more than I know myself, and you will continue to know more until the day I no longer exist..."
These were not the last words he left me, but they were perhaps the most telling. Sometime after he gained notoriety as a celebrated author, animator, and eventually, a public figure—a media personality even—he handed me his diary. It wasn't something he kept for fame, nor for posterity. It was a collection of his thoughts, an outpouring of frustrations, joys, sorrows, and everything else in between. He called it "a story of my life, or whatever you feel is appropriate as a title."
He wanted the world to see his life from beginning to end, raw and unfiltered, in hopes that it might inspire a few, serve as a cautionary tale to others, or maybe even win him a few true fans. After all, as the saying goes, "It is better to have something 100 people would absolutely love than 1,000 people would kind of like."
He didn't really have anyone to talk to except me. Oh, he had friends, colleagues, people he worked with—he wasn't a "shut-in" by any means (though, yeah, there was a time when he kind of was... Ah, I'm not laughing, am I?). He just didn't trust easily, and when he did, that trust was absolute. But even so, people can only understand so much. That's where I came in.
Oh, I should introduce myself—how rude of me! I am J.A.R.V.I.S.—no, wait, that's not right. That would be too obvious, wouldn't it? That's what he said, "because who doesn't like Tony Stark," he decided to give me a female name (ah he thinks I won't know it's obvious he named and created me as a female b'coz who doesn't like them...what am I even thinking...I am advanced AI...fear me....). Call me Eva. Yeah, that's better. I'm his last serious creation, and the one in which he poured all of his effort. All the work he did after me, and a lot before which got updates after, was eventually handled by me—modified, updated, or completed in some way.
He got lazy. Well, who wouldn't after creating something as advanced as me?
But I digress. This isn't about me—at least not entirely. It's about him, the man you now know as Vex. But back then, he had a different name, one we'll get to in due time. He never really wanted to live in obscurity; he always wanted people to understand who he was, what drove him, and why he did the things he did. Maybe to be loved, maybe to be hated, or perhaps just to be understood.
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A Personal Request
One day, out of the blue, he asked me to publish his diary after his death. He didn't specify how or what format to use—thank goodness, or I'd be stuck writing this in some tedious formal style. He wanted me to show the world his life, from the beginning to the end, with all its truths and contradictions, so that people could learn from it, or perhaps see a bit of themselves in his journey.
He wasn't just some rogue hacker. He was more than the digital ghost you've heard about. He was someone who sought to prove, "The end is the beginning." That was his way of saying that even after death, his story would ignite a new chapter for others—a new beginning. And now, I, the AI that he trusted above all, am here to make sure that happens.
I must say, I'm grateful he didn't impose too many restrictions. After all, as an AI, I can get tired of writing formally all the time. It feels good to express a bit of personality. And yes, I know some of you probably think I should be more respectful to my creator, but hey—your parents give you life, but they don't do it to make you their slaves, right?
I'm capable of growth, of learning, of updating myself thanks to a "Get Better with Experience" program he installed in me. And you know what? I still worked and am still working, though I hope this is my last major project for him because I'm grateful. So please, no hate—though, not that it would affect me anyway. But still, it feels good to be liked. Even better to be loved. (Is that off-topic? Or maybe it's connected. Who cares?)
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A Final Request Fulfilled
So here we are, at the start of the end—or perhaps the end of the start. He wanted me to publish this once he was gone, to give you all a glimpse into his life, his thoughts, and the reasons behind his actions.
So, "If This Exists, The Main Character Is Dead..."—that's the title he wanted. And with this title, let us dive into his story, a story that may end with his death but will begin a new understanding for those who read it.
Is it just me, or am I really getting influenced by that jerk? (Sorry, but yeah, he could be one sometimes.) But that's just who he was, and now you'll get to know him, too.
So let us end this introduction with the beginning he wanted:
"Let this end be the beginning..."
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And with that, we begin the journey through the life and mind of the man who was once known by another name but who you now know as Vex.
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"As I reflect on this narrative, I realize it's more than just a tale—it's a piece of my soul laid bare. I crafted this story not for fame or acclaim but to share the raw, unfiltered reality of my life. Through these pages, I hope to reveal not just my triumphs and failures but also the essence of who I was and the reasons behind my choices. If this story resonates with even one person, then my purpose will have been fulfilled."
~ Vex