Warner was still troubled by Atari, and their box office was already starting to sink. The reason was simple: Johnny English had hit the screens. This silly character practically had Americans laughing their socks off.
Alright, the scenes were indeed explosive. Well, the economy wasn't doing great, so the spy gear was cheapened, but it didn't have to be so ridiculous, right? Haha, I'd love to know what the British thought about this movie.
This was really a humorous and wacky movie. If you tried to take it seriously, you'd really lose. London filmmakers were reflecting, saying everyone claimed British films were dead and nobody liked British humor. But now, could someone explain what this is? This guy truly understands the habits of the aristocracy, though it's all in jest.
Self-deprecation isn't so annoying because it's well-intentioned ribbing, and the ending was good: the silly guy saved the world.
People quickly noticed that many elements of 007 had been dug up for satire. Whatever Bond had, Johnny English had too, just maybe a bit less reliable. A beautiful woman? Oh yes, they had that too! Bond was like a teddy bear, while Johnny English was downright rejected by beauties. No matter how gentlemanly he is, it's just throwing glances at a blind woman.
The girl in the movie was indeed beautiful, exactly the standard of a Bond girl, but unfortunately, Johnny English didn't seem to have much chance to get close to her. Even after saving the world, he didn't get any closer. The goddess still chose to ignore him and ran into the arms of a rich, fat cat.
Although he used high-tech means to seek revenge on his rival, he still couldn't win back the girl's heart. Even worse, he got beaten by the girl.
Rowan Atkinson became incredibly famous, known everywhere now. Everyone knew British filmmakers were good at artsy films, but they had veered away from commercial comedies for a long time. It seemed the problem wasn't with the actors but with the scripts.
They believed that as long as there was an appropriate script, British filmmakers would have their heyday too.
Americans were indifferent to their excitement: "We've got a ton of top actors here. What's a few more British actors?"
...
Though United Artists weren't too thrilled, feeling it was quite improper that a fake spy was more popular than a real one. Could you even appreciate it?
Warner wasn't pleased, either. They'd just broken White Films' weekly box office record, and before they could settle in, they got knocked off.
Hollywood moguls were out of ideas; if even Superman could barely make a dent, other movies should just call it a night. It seemed they weren't even in the same league.
...
Gosh, that spy was too pitiful. Why not just take him out directly, or even knock him out and drag him away?
How could one linger on with gentlemanly gestures?
Alright, the girl wasn't wrong; he was a good guy.
This line soon caught on.
"Hey, Andy, you're a good guy."
At this point, the other guy would point a middle finger and say, "You're the good guy, your whole family is."
Those who saw the movie would chuckle knowingly, shrugging it off. Those who didn't were annoyed -- what was the joke here? Better avoid calling anyone a good guy anymore; something was fishy there.
As for whether spies were really not that bad, relevant departments wouldn't comment. They wouldn't admit much, but some of the ideas were quite interesting. If the budget allowed, they wouldn't mind trying a few things out.
...
London was lively this year, making it a suitable place for the premiere and adding to the festive atmosphere.
"Boss, are you going to attend this century wedding?"
"Yes, of course. A royal invitation is different from a government event."
"Wow, this wedding is so romantic! It's like a real-life Prince Charming and Cinderella story, isn't it?"
"Hold on, hold on. How is she Cinderella? She's the daughter of an earl, not just some country girl. It's a shame she married a bald guy."
"What? And the crown prince?"
"Ha, he's just a standby. You even said it, a crown prince is like a backup, might always be just a backup."
The assistant was dumbfounded, thinking how could you explain it like that, wondering if there was any ulterior motive.
There was no ulterior motive, really. When your life is on the line, it's not worth lingering over.
William White wasn't feeling too well, so he didn't attend the premiere. People were used to his style by now; if he didn't show up, he didn't show up.
Without him causing trouble, the British took center stage. This couldn't be helped, as many actors in the crew were like that. Making a cowboy play a gentleman would be a disaster.
The huge success of Johnny English actually sparked their creative enthusiasm. Believe it or not, though they can't quite match Hollywood, they're perfectly fine with writing books or scripts.
...
The British were quite happy, claiming their actors were now international stars. William White was happy too; IBM's booming sales hadn't affected his software at all.
Those old geezers didn't dare stir things up anymore. Personal computers were no big deal initially, and letting the entire company fall into an awkward situation over this was just plain stupid.
William White had every intention to cooperate, but you folks liked to stir things up. He had no intention of getting involved in your conflicts, yet you drew a line between friends and foes. Is there another funny thing in the world like this?
A major reshuffle in the PC department was unavoidable. The old folks had to do it even if they didn't want to.
Steve Jobs wasn't happy again, but William White ignored him. Business is business, and Jobs knew it well; he was just looking for an excuse to vent.
Apple, Commodore, and Big Blue stirred up the PC market like crazy.
What about the other companies? It wasn't looking too bright; they were just hanging on. White Software wasn't going to release new products, so sell what you can.
*****
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