ASHLEY
"C'mon, you know you like it."
The sturdily built Tobias feathered his big hand through my chin-length hair while I moaned in terror. The room was dark. He always switched off my sleeping lights. Yanking my hair, he pulled me out from under the bed and slammed me on the cushy mattress. When he proceeded to unbuckle his belt, I tried to crawl away even though I knew I wouldn't make it.
"Where do you think you're going, boy? We haven't even started." The nasty edge of his voice jabbed through my gut. He smacks my cheek hard and tears run down my face. "Off to rat on me? Nobody will believe you. Daddy will call you weak again and beat you to a pulp. You know he already hates that you're smaller and weaker than your brothers. Do you really want to give him and the others more reasons to detest you?"
I shuddered at the thought. Father wouldn't spare me. He'll say I was always making excuses for not being as good as my brothers. Nobody will believe our loyal bodyguard can harm a hair on my head. So, I got on my knees quietly and shut my eyes while Tobias had his way. When he flipped me over, a shocked cry ripped through my throat as the pain hit.
I wake up gasping for breath. A film of sweat trickles down my sides despite the chill in the room. My fingers scrabble the sheets as I swallow the trapped screams of pain and terror. The nightmares are rare but incredibly intense when they happen. My eyes pan the dimly lit room desperately. Even though he's long dead, I can't help but feel his ghost might still be lurking around me.
I manage to grope to the bathroom and splash some cold water on my face. My reflection in the mirror is that of a shit-faced drunk. I take a few calming breaths.
"You're fine, Ashely. You're strong. He can't hurt you anymore. Ashton already killed him. You're safe. You're not that wimpy, whiny eight years old kid. You're the ASHLEY ROLLINS now, a grown, strong man." I work a weak smile into my face as I repeat the words.
Tobias had been wrong. If only I had told my brothers earlier, it would have stopped. They believed my every word and the very next morning after I opened up to them, Tobias was found with a slit throat. If I had ever doubted my brothers' love, that sight smoked it all away. Father had said nothing when Ashton told him I killed Tobias for hurting me but he smiled at me genuinely. Ashton has always been one to give up the credit for others.
Demi's words come flooding back to me. I stare hard at my reflection.
"I know exactly who I am. I am Ashley Rollins but most importantly, I can be whoever the fuck I want to be; Asher, Ashton, Ashley or Ashal. I can be anything and anyone I want. I don't have to be one thing." I hate that my voice falters at the end like a whine of sympathy. I hate the Ashely Rollins I was known to be; weak, slow, abused. I would rather slit my wrist than stick with that guy and thankfully, my brothers caught on. For me, they defied our parents and perfected the art of switching places. With practice, I was able to flawlessly mimic any brother I wanted, whenever I wanted. Knowing I had the option to be anything but the weak and wimpy Ashely felt invigorating and slowly, the zeal to take my own life ebbed.
Now, I don't feel like punching the wall when I stare at myself in the mirror. The trauma rears its head once in a while but I am coping just fine. I may still be wary of love and long-term commitments like marriage but that is okay with me. I love keeping sex casual with no strings attached. That way, I don't saddle one woman with my insatiable libido. Better a serial flirt and womanizer than a vengeful rapist on the loose, heh? Thankfully, a face like mine and wealth like my family has got attracts women of all walks of life like moth to a flame. I don't even have to beg for their admiration. The xx chromosome can't help themselves around me…except Demi.
I linger by her door and watch her sleeping soundly in the room next to mine. I can't quite put my finger on it. Any other woman in her place would be fawning over me and actively trying to bear my child within the first nine months together, but not Demi. Except for the brief blush at the sight of my brothers and I, this woman has mastered the art of not-giving-a-fuck about us. She couldn't care less if we were voted the sexiest men alive every year in Danvarr. Something bigger helps her shelve her feelings around us and I desperately want to know what that is. Why is she so spiteful of us?
I shrug into a shirt and head for the gym on the second floor to let off some steam. After a few sprints on the treadmill, I take a break to catch my breath.
"Can't sleep?" Ashton asks, strolling in. He lobs a bottle of water to me and sits on the floor. I guzzle the water like a parched caveman.
"N-Nothing n-new."
His eyes deepen with concern. "You're stuttering again. That bad huh?" I duck when his hands reach for my forehead to gauge my temperature. "The meds…are they helpful? You haven't seen your therapist in a while. Maybe you should…"
"Ashton! I-I am f-fine, okay? I j-just had a n-nightmare. You g-guys don't have to w-worry a-about me."
"Too late bro." Ashton replies with a quirky smile as Asher and Ashal stroll into the gym. "I swear I didn't call them. I guess it's a quad thing. We come running when one of us is g-glitching." He pats my knee. "Take steady breaths, okay? It's just us." Slowly, I inhale on his cue.
"Well, if it isn't the newly wed." Asher bumps my head. "Can't get it up? Oh, that's right. Mrs. Ashley Rollins isn't interested in being touched by the sexiest man in Danvarr. It's refreshing to see you getting turned down, Ash."
"You know we have the same face, right?" I tell him. "You get girls all the time but you're too grumpy to retain their interest for long. So, they come to me."
Ashal squats next to me. "You look like crap. How come we all have the same face but somehow Ashton has the best morning face?" Ashton smirks from his spot on the floor.
"I don't need coddling guys. We all have a long day today. Work and all. Seriously, let's get back to bed."
"Not before we discuss Demi." Asher has his serious face on. "Dad is still very uncool with her in the family. I can't get him to see the social damage denying her in the face of overwhelming evidence will cause. Now, he has resorted to arguing nonstop with mom over the part she played in keeping Demi here. He even sleeps in his study now. I hate to see them fight. I hate to see our family fighting each other so much so that I don't mind our stock prices plummeting if it means we get Demi to leave. We have to come up with a viable reason that will sway the masses in our favor."
"Mom wants her here. How do we get rid of her without hurting Mom's feelings?" Ashal asks.
"Simple. We give mom what she wants. She brought Demi here to straighten us up. If we can show mom that we don't need a year or Demi to do that, she wouldn't be so heartbroken when Demi is made to leave. We have to hurry though before mom bonds with her."
Asher is right.
"Ashal, you're the best at fixing our women problems with the least possible damage to the woman. Are your wheels turning? Tell us how to fix this."
Ashal rolls his eyes at Asher and sighs. He hates this label. "Fine. Um…we start by figuring out what's important to Demi. She obviously isn't like the other women we are used to who would be easily intimidated by a threat or give in to a bribe. I think she holds herself to the highest standards of purity, honesty and family love. If we can make her see that her new relationship threatens to crumble everything she holds dear, she might choose to abandon her marriage. That way, we make it public that Demi is solely responsible for the divorce and Ashely can play the heartbroken ex-husband." Ashal clasps his fingers. "We'll start with her avaricious aunt. See if we can pay her to sway Demi out of this with emotional blackmail."
"Damn it, Ashal." Asher backs away. "I was thinking of using brute force but your seemingly innocent idea is giving me chills. You play dirty when you want to."
"You all bring out the worst in me, remember that." Ashal chuckles. Ashton is unusually silent.
"You're game, right Ash?" I ask him.
"Of course. Sure."
I'm glad he concurs. Everyone has to be. We have too many skeletons in our cupboards that we aren't ready for the people of Danvarr to know about. The secrets are painful and run deep with invisible scars. The Rollins quads aren't perfect but for the longevity of our family business and fame, we have to appear to be. That has been our mantra since childhood. We have to strive for perfection no matter what. If we make a mistake, we have to figure out a way to clean it swiftly without smearing our family and business reputation. Mom made a mistake bringing a girl like Demi into the mix. Demi doesn't fit into our life.
Like Ashal, mom looks like a harmless, sweet cinnamon roll. In a flash, she can switch to a ticking bomb and incinerate everything that has taken years to build just to sate her anger. Though we have never uttered it, my brothers and I know that mom didn't insist on Demi staying here to straighten us up. She has never been that bothered about our shenanigans in the past. Why now? It scares me to think she has finally learnt the truth that Asher and I have kept from everyone else for this long and hoped no other family member has to endure…the truth about Josh Randall.
If she has, then Demi might be a pawn in mom's long and dangerous game of revenge.