Chapter 37 - Entrust

Aside from the nuances of these sequences of stories, I found that inside each of these visions, it always portrays both of them either joyous or excited as they plan about their future.

I didn't really catch the meaning of these visions, but it was still an endearing thing to watch since my past was really devoid of them.

Yeah, I barely remember having that kind of joy and genuine expectation.

Sure, I had some excitement there and there, but most of the time, they were followed with a void about how uneasy my future would be.

My life was quite suck, huh.

But right after the last vision, it didn't shift into the next sequence of story like before.

Maybe I would genuinely die now, or return back to where I was once before, fighting against that monster under an immense amount of stress.

Or so I thought.

There weren't many things that were displayed, but I could hear a rumble of lighting and tidal waves crashing against one another.

No…

It wasn't quite like it. It was more akin to a visceral manifestation of something conceptual.

It was as if a raw emotion was made into sound.

"This is your fault for leaving me, Elisi!" A wrathful sorrow started to flow uncaringly, wreaking havoc upon anything in its path. "Your hatred for me runs deeper than any mire, yet you peacefully cut yourself away from me. This is not what we both wanted, and I've suffered because of you! You wretched traitor!"

It was a 'black' voice, an anguished voice of color that had been applied a new color again, and again, until nothing but darkness was shown in his guttural dismay.

And then, a new set of emotions crashed into me. It was similar in nature yet somewhat different than what Yaria showed in his voice.

It was Elisi, with her 'gold' ear-deafening screech of despair and anguish.

"Yarrriaaaa!! Not only have you stolen my heart away, you have broken it into pieces until nothing can ever be returned...! By dying alone, you have taken away my will to live inside your decrepit grave! How can you be this cruel to me!? What have I done for you to choose this path!? Answer me, my beloved, answer me!!" 

It was heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, and emotionally stinging.

They didn't seem to be in the same place or in the same world this time, yet their emotion seemed to be having a conversation with one another.

And they were enveloping every part of me, like pouring their respective color into my fragile yet empty cup.

"Elisi... Elisi... Elisi!! I rejected this end! I won't let your rotten body sleep in peace! O Elisi! I want you to haunt me! And follow me to the lowest of the abyss, as I cast this sorrow to destroy every memory hanging on my shoulder because of you!"

Shuddering all over, their regret and sorrow started to torment every part of my existence.

"I curse your existence for the heartache you caused to me, Yaria! I deny it! I deny this conclusion...! I will find my way back, and undo every mistake that causes our relationship to end in this languishing hellfire… 

"Yes... I will fix this broken patchwork, and I'll ensure to stitch every piece of our torn-apart hearts."

It was suffocating.

"If my interpretation of happiness... turns out to be one of those fingers that strangles you until you can't breathe..."

It was excruciating.

"Then I'll be happy to sever the idea of joy from myself, in the hope that you could be in a happier world without my presence."

Immediately after, I was brought back to the real world—not greeted with the same scenery that I ended with, but with a heavy, surprisingly powerful tug that was pulling back my cloth and body.

"Wha-"

Before I knew it, I was thrown back several meters away as I rolled on the ground.

Even when I was rolling, I noticed that the baggage in my head and soul was purified in one way or another. I was no longer anxious, nor was I overwhelmed by the current situation, as if I had just returned from an amazing therapy session.

I felt much more confident, so empowered in fact, I might be able to put 300% the effort to ensure the survival of everyone!

'I think I can make it' was the sentence that appeared in my head like an eventful dawn.

But just as my energized self hurriedly stood up to see the appraise the current moment, I was welcomed back by the sound of Tahlia lying helplessly on the ground with a massive wound on his back.

That tug back then was from him all along, pulling me desperately into safety as he was unable to avoid the attack.

A faint voice was trying its best to escape from his dying throat.

"Even if you're not a real person… my memories of you are true and real… that alone is enough…"

But why save me instead of saving yourself?

You could had just leave me to die, since in your point of view, I'm the one who established myself as a faker, a Calamity Object in disguise-

"Say… am I useful now…?"

He said it with a cheeky smile—before the monster behind him disastrously stomped on his head, all while sheathing its sword as a sign of mockery.

Blood, bits of skulls, and organic matter were scattered to the ground, as if I had just seen the death of an actual person.

"Narcissus!"

I heard Lupina's shouting.

She and Verina should be still alive then.

They were still alive.

Not a long time had passed in this world then.

"Ahahah..."

I didn't know how long I had remained dazed by that vision, but I knew that I returned back to the normal state much later than everyone else.

"Dammit!!"

So many questions arrived, yet little to no conclusion.

But all I knew in this very moment, was that I failed to ensure the safety of a single person who somehow believed that I mattered more than him, in comparison to how I judge his worth of existence.

It was such an easy and simple task, with a competent subject to boot.

Yet somehow, I managed to screw it up.

"Damn you!"

This frustrating and embarrassing feeling, I curled it into a fist, as I thundered my unforgiving muscles once more to punch that bastard in the face.

The resilient dark-steel of the monster's helmet and that of my gauntlet clashed, as the owner of the helmet was thrashed to the ground from that devastating brunt.