I arrived at Kaveesha's office and found her by the sofa sipping on a cup of coffee and she gave me a side eye as I stepped into the office. As I sank into the plush sofa, opposite hers, the warmth of the café contrasted sharply with the icy discomfort I felt inside. I stirred my coffee absently, lost in thought. Across from me, Kaveesha's eyes were fixed on me, her concern evident even before she spoke.
"Okay, spill it," she said, her voice gentle but firm. "I heard you rushed out of the office and the only thing that could make you behave like this is a man."
I sighed, rubbing my temples. "You're right. It's just... complicated. I first saw his pictures on the net and in the magazines. Today I saw him face to face and the pictures don't do any justice to his handsome face and his body figure. Even his aura drew me to him, and I did not have the guts to approach him.
Kaveesha leaned in, her gaze steady and understanding. "Tell me what's going on. I know you're trying to protect yourself, but you can't keep all of this bottled up." She had always been protective of me, and I valued our bond since the day Armand adopted me.
I took a deep breath, trying to articulate my tangled emotions. "I read about him. They say he is cold and distant. Like he's built this impenetrable wall around himself. But today in the cafe he had a carefree attitude and seemed to be relaxed unlike what they say.
Sarah's brow furrowed with concern. "Who is he?
"Sean Edin's" I whispered.
"No. No way Jessel. "Kaveesha shook her head in disagreement.
"Why?" I demanded. "I have a right to fall in love."
"That is not it. We already have Eli Marks here and that is enough trouble for us" Kaveesha responded.
"Sean Edins is a grown man "I muttered.
"If you want your heart to be chewed and shredded into pieces go ahead. But don't ever say I did not warn you" Kaveesha pointed out.
I shook my head, feeling the familiar pang of frustration. "I need your help. You have to help me, Kav. This man awakened my dead heart. You know what I have been through as a child. "
Kaveesha reached across the table, placing a comforting hand on mine. "I know it's hard, but you have to ask yourself if it's worth it. Are you ready to bear it all?"
I stared into my coffee, watching the steam curl up. "I don't know. Part of me wants to believe that I can break through his defenses, that maybe there's something worth saving. But another part of me wonders if I'm just setting myself up for more heartache."
Kaveesha squeezed my hand reassuringly. "You're a great person, and you deserve someone willing to open up and be vulnerable with you. Don't let yourself get lost in the hope of changing someone who isn't ready to change. It's important to be honest with yourself about what you need and what you're getting."
I nodded slowly, absorbing her words. "You're right. It's just hard to let go of that hope. But I guess it's something I need to think about more seriously."
Kaveesha gave me a sympathetic smile. "Take your time. Just remember, no matter what happens, you deserve to be with someone who truly values and appreciates you. "I took another sip of my coffee, feeling a mix of sadness and relief as we enjoyed the quiet of the office.
It was almost dusk when I left the office and decided to walk into one of the quiet pubs within the town and slid onto the worn stool at the pub counter, feeling the cool, smooth wood beneath me. The place is dimly lit, with the low hum of conversation and clinking glasses creating a background symphony to my melancholy. I ordered a drink barely registering the bartender's nod of acknowledgment as I was lost in thoughts. As the minutes ticked by, I found myself staring into my glass, the amber liquid swirling around. My reflection in the bar mirror looked haggard, eyes puffy and distant as I took a slow sip, the warmth of the alcohol did not chase away the cold feeling that was settling in my chest.
I had no idea how long I was in the bar, wallowing in a sad, self-pitying fog. My mind kept replaying memories of him and the way he walked into the cafe, his confident aura, calculated steps, and then went to sit by the corner and perused through his phone. I let out a heavy sigh, the kind that seems to come from deep within, a sound that resonates with the emptiness I feel. I take another sip, letting the alcohol warm my throat as if it could somehow warm my heart. The drink was supposed to provide solace, but instead, amplified the emptiness, making me more aware of how alone I was.
"Are you following me? I could swear I saw someone like you in the car today" A deep voice beside me interrupted all my thoughts with a soothing timbre that sent a shiver down my spine. I turned to stare at Edin Sean seated on the stool next to me live, in the flesh.
"Hi," I managed to reply, my voice betraying the hint of being drunk. I turned back to focus intently on my drink, my knuckles turning white as I gripped the glass a little too tightly.
"It's boring to drink alone," he stated and smiled.
I nodded but felt the undercurrent tension, a reminder of why I was in the bar in the first place, wallowing in my thoughts. Seeing him again was like touching a raw nerve, a blend of elation and heartache that was impossible to ignore. I turned around and watched the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled and was almost too much to bear, the intensity of feelings resurfacing as though I had not met him in the cafe this morning.
"I bet you know who I am by the way your eyes widened when you spotted me. "He smirked and I nodded "Who are you, little girl?"
"Jessel Ting James" I spoke up and turned to him.
"Armand's sister?" He stared at me in shock.
"Yes "I slurred my words in response.
"Fuck" I heard the muttered curse that escaped his mouth.
"Really?" I chucked. "I would not mind if you fucked me."
His eyes widened at me as he picked up his glass, stared at me under hooded eyes, and sipped his drink, watching the way he swallowed the drink as his Adam's apple bobbled up and down. He set the glass down and responded, "I do value my life."
"Coward" I snickered as I paid the tab and left the pub without a backward glance.