Rain POV
I don't know what I am doing anymore, why is my heart races like that when I saw him holding Yuki, why I didn't like it when I heard the students cheer about it and talk about it? I already sort out my feelings for Fourth, I am, but why he is on the picture too? Since the first day I met him he really was an interested case, since he wasn't talking much to anyone I though he is an introvert but he was good enough to accept our request to join the club. I decide to help and give him the maximum personal space he wants, but somehow it didn't work since they start to bully him, and it was because of us! So I had to defend him, I wanted to help him.
The question is if there is a person that can defend you from your bullies will you push them away? Simple answer 'NO' but he did, he sided with them first and then I thought maybe they had something on him?
But my thoughts got cancelled after that first day in the club activities, how he skates taking those glasses and said that confident 'I will be' in my team, made me trust him at the moment, I been around so many men and I know the action of someone confident in his skills, and he was one of them even if his face is all hidden his body tell that he is sure of what he is doing, how he looked cutely angry saying "they made me angry now" and the confident he had to give me a win? I never even had my men saying that to me before. And all that he did he was sick, he fainted and I start to get worried especially when that archery teacher said the clinic is closed and he took him, so I asked Yuki for his contact from the form he filled before joining the club and I called many times but he didn't answer. Yet seeing him the next day I felt relieved, I went running happily to him but all I got is a back fire on me telling me to stop having a double faces, but I don't, even when I am the red circle mafia heir, i don't have double faces, I want to be a better person then my father, how could he judge me like that when all I did is to be worried on a classmate.
I got angry, I promised myself I will ignore him, no one can accuse me of something i didn't do and I will explain myself to! He didn't want to be close, sure go ahead don't be! Even when my ankle got injured I felt his concern in his question by the stairs where Yuki accident happened but I ignored him, isn't that what he wanted?
At the athletic competition, I tried to ignore him too but still i questioned his actions because what is his relation with the archery teacher, he even slept in his office? They become close that night? What exactly happened?
Still everything felt bad that day, Yuki lost because of her injury and I was doomed to lose too since I had mine. But he came out of nowhere asking for forgiveness, I mean I didn't know what he really wants? Me ignoring him, or me talking to him, he confused me for real when he said he doesn't care if the club lost, and he will do it for my forgiveness, what does he really wants?
but the fact is...after the action of how he stopped at that finish line to make me go to him, it made my heart race mixed of fear and doubts and everything strange so I decided…
I decided…I want to be his friend.
Because he is someone unpredictable and I like to have someone like him around, I did felt happy at that moment, really happy that I hugged him hearing that unique cute voice he made like a 'h'e' when he gets surprised that I kind of find familiar, I know he was surprised but I will express my happiness to my friends, even if he doesn't know yet I made him one. And I wanted to tell him but somehow I didn't met him the next day, but I knew we had a party to go to, so we will meet eventually.
Surprisingly he didn't answer Yuki phone calls, we all met and start eating and drinking, I didn't since I will drive Yuki home, but also I was waiting him to come, I felt disappointed but I decide to call him and for my surprise he answered me! I heard a faint music that I doubted it is a club-music at his background so I decide to tell him and close the call so he won't tell me his is busy.
After some time I was worried maybe the guard didn't let him in, so I headed to the entrance to find him really mocking them, I mean an introvert making fun of security guards? How he pass by them just confirmed how incapable they were, and I will tell Yuki to never rent this place because it security is a joke.
I was going to tell him that I want to be his friend but the tables had a wrong turn when he bravely slams that bottle on the table, all his actions confirmed he is not an introvert but he is acting like one, I said that in the guessing game and it was true, yet I still don't know why he is hiding his face especially when I mentioned he may had a birthmark, that when I first saw him smiling. I was mesmerized about how perfect a smile could be, or it is just my taste? I mean I saw how his jaw line was perfect when we sits next to each other at the bus once. But didn't expect to have this perfect smile for my taste
But that also make me wonder why I never saw him smiling before? What is going on in his life so he could be not smiling at all, and once I mention it he stops like he did something wrong!
After getting way exposed by him, I never thought I am an open book, all his guesses were right, like he knew what is he saying, even my trauma that no one knows about except Yuki and my family he just mentioned it out of the blue. I was speechless I didn't have a word to say it felt like I am naked in front of him, but he ended up the one drinking the bottle even if I was the one who lost, isn't that means he is concern about me? Doesn't that makes us already friends?
But for my luck we encounter a street gang, and I had to protect him or else they would beat us, rob us, with his unpredictable as usual action I won the fight, but I felt scared when he call me the devil…
That the image everyone sees for a long time…
And I was afraid he would see me as one too, I start liking to come to school, for real it felt boring before, all the problems were repetitive; me trying to defend my principals or Yuki fight with Damien, till he came. I wasn't ready to see him in those accusing people side, so probably I should tell him who I am before he heard it from anyone else. But I did find out he doesn't remember anything so I kept it like that till I had the courage to tell him, so let's be friend first, and friends tease each other, I was sticking to him the next day since some of the classes we had together and surprisingly he didn't push me away.
And I shouldn't have done that because it makes me attached....
When he slept in the class, I felt like the time-space disappeared, I was looking at how he pressed those funny glasses on his arm, and how he had that perfect jaw line, that small perfect nose, and the red cheeks, and a soft skin, his face wasn't clearly seen but it gave that familiar sense, and when my eyes went to his mouth, I felt nerves and touched the new necklace I made to remember that I already sort out my feelings for someone else. Someone who trusted me and gave me the most precious thing in his family as I heard. I made a necklace out of an empty bullet and put the fragment inside, I didn't trust any place to keep it safe, so I kept it with me by my side hanging around my neck.
But all those feeling I had made a twitch in my heart
....He was hugging Yuki when the gang showed up again.
And all those feeling I had made an explosion in my heart
....He was holding Yuki at the bus
I felt jealous, yes I did, I didn't like it at all, I wanted to tell him 'what you are doing?' but he isn't doing anything wrong.
To be honest, way before I wanted to tell him 'what you are doing?' when he was learning with the archery teacher showing him how to aim.
Does that mean…I had a crush on him since then?
I felt demotivated, I was keeping an eye on him while at the athletic area, I saw him again smiling with the archery teacher and he doesn't act like it was something wrong to smile at him, not like when he is around me…I wanted to speak with him, I wanted him to look more at me, but when I went to him he teased me…I don't want this at this moment, I want to know if he even care about me, all those action he did to help me…
The vibration on my phone was from a worker, but I told him Yuki was calling because I wanted to go away or else I would say something crazy that I would regret saying after.
And when the time has come to go back, he said he had someone to pick him up…is he going to that club I heard before at the phone? Does he have his own life and I am here thinking of wrong things? So I went back to the dorms took the clothes and went to wait for him with a good excuse. He was late, and I was worried, I wanted to call but if I did I know I will have to go back
But I want to see him
And I did, and I even did more than seeing him, I got invited to his house, and I found the good opportunity to tell him who I am.
SURPRISINGLY he KNEW, yes he knew all along, who told him? it could be anyone, he could be avoiding me since the start because of my statue. He called me a devil because he already knew my family record
Yet he still said the warmest words I could have wanted to hear when i am feeling this demotivated, I was looking at him when he put that plate for me, I was looking at him thinking if I should step closer into his life…
But Fourth is also there filling that emptiness I have at the cold blood nights.