Wu Jinmai's
I don't know why I'm concerned about him. I shed my tears. This won't help me. I put down his hand and covered his whole body with the quilt.
"Just rest, A'Zu."
I stood up and checked if there was coal and water. I have to boil some water. I lit up the coat and filled the kettle with water.
I grab the fan that I saw and start fanning it. I've been blowing and fanning for a few minutes. I grabbed the bowl, poured the cold water, and mixed the hot one.
There's no towel here. I have no choice but to use my hanky. I grabbed the bowl and went to him. I take my seat and check his temperature using my palm.
"You're cold as ice. My goodness! What are you doing on that bridge?" I ask.
He didn't answer. I dip my handkerchief and start patting his face. I hope this will help. I kept doing that for a moment.
I pulled down the quilt and loosened his clothes. I start tapping his chest down to his abdomen.
"He's still trembling. Is it his clothes? Do I have any clothes here? Damn!" I cursed.
I covered him again and started checking the cabinet. I smiled when I saw a set of hanfu. I grab it.
I take off the quilt. I ripped my clothes and used them to cover my eyes. I have to be careful not to touch anything.
I undress him, and it's hard! I couldn't see anything, so it took me a while. His hanfu was indeed soaked.
I scoop him up, and I can feel his bare body nestled in mine. I used my hand to find the bowl. When I do, I pat his body with the warm handkerchief.
"This is harder than I thought. This blindfold is taking so much time. Should I wake him up?" I whispered. I just continue and pat his front body. I grab the clothes and put them on him.
"What are you doing…?" he asks.
His voice was still weak. I lay him down and moved my hands, finding the ribbon of his clothes.
"I'm changing you. You won't feel better if you're wearing your wet clothes. Are you okay? Don't go back to sleep yet. You need to drink warm water. Let me just finish tying your clothes," I replied.
Shanguan Zu Jin holds my hand. I was startled, but I decided to hold it tight. His hands were still cold.
"You are still cold. Wait a minute, okay?" I remarked.
I pulled the quilt and tucked him up. I touched the bed and took the handkerchief. I put it in the bowl.
"Take off your blindfold. I'm already underneath this quilt," A'Zu mumbles softly.
I pulled it down. I patted him again with the warm handkerchief. "Let me get you some water. Wait for me," I stated.
I stood up. I grab a cup of warm water. I keep on blowing it and making sure it's not too hot for him.
"Why are you doing this? You don't have to do this. Whether you are Jinmai or Susu," he whispered softly. I take off the quilt again and help him lean his body on the headboard.
"Jinmai won't do this, but I already told you, I'm not her. Why am I doing this? I want to. Don't ask again. Come on, drink slowly. It will warm your body," I remark.
I blow it again and look at him. Zu Jin was staring at me intently. I sighed. I guess he really loathes Jinmai.
I am using her body, and it will always bring him pain, no matter what happens. "Please listen to me, huh? I need you here. Don't just die!"
He didn't take his eyes off me. I have no choice, then. I drink some of the water. I grabbed his neck and nestled my lips against his. As soon as his lips opened, I made him drink the water.
I wipe his lips after. "Should I do it again, or you'll drink it yourself?" I ask.
Shit! My heart is beating so fast. I feel like it's hot all of a sudden. He didn't move. I blink. I wave my hand in his face. I put down the cup next to the bowl of water.
"Shanguan Zu Jin? Hello? Are you there? Hey!" I called. I think he was shocked because of what I did. I bite my lower lip.
'My gosh! He's so cute! I feel like I stole his first kiss.'
"Shanguan Zu Jin! Can you say a word? That's not your first kiss, right?" I softly ask. I am looking into his eyes directly and intently. He blinks, and his cheeks turn red.
I covered my lips and realized that I had hit the jackpot. It's really his first kiss! I bow my head three times.
"I apologize. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I know I act out of place. Forgive me, A'Zu!" I begged. How insensitive I am! I forgot that this is the Xia dynasty. A kiss means everything!
"Don't kiss random people," he remarked.
I raised my hand and glared at him. "You're not a random person. You're my husband. I am qualified to kiss you or touch you any time that I want," I stated.
He gives me that emotionless reaction. I sighed and decided to lower my pride. If I want to survive, I need to listen to Uncle Liu.
"Look, I'm sorry for being rude. I didn't mean to insult you or anything. Forgive me, hmm?" I whispered. I look at him in the eyes and show him how sorry I was. He looks away instead.
"It's okay. At least you look okay now. I don't know why you did that, Shanguan Zu Jin. I was afraid, and I don't know why. Maybe because you're the second person to know that I'm not really Wu Jinmai. I wish that you believed me like Uncle Liu."
I take a deep breath. I grabbed the cup and held his hand. "Drink it. You have to warm up. How can you do this to yourself, hmm? I know Jinmai turned your life into hell. I mean, he gives you hardships, sufferings, mocks you, and so on and forth, but... you need to live, A'Zu."
He gives me that blank expression. I know it's weird for me to say it, especially since he's looking at the face of the woman who gives him the worst things in this world.
I notice that he's still trembling. He drinks the water. I pulled the quilt and tucked it on him. I grab the cup and put it down.
"I know it's strange for you to hear those words, but... honestly, I feel a lot better when I'm with you. Uncle Liu placed his trust in me, and besides him, you know that I'm Li Susu." I halted.
I smiled and showed him that I trusted him. I believe in him. I want him to stand next to me while I'm trying to fix what Wu Jinmai destroyed. I take a deep breath and lean my back on the headboard as well.
"It feels strange, and I feel lost when I wake up with different bodies and eras. I wake up from the past, and I'm the empress that everyone wants to dethrone and kill. I am scared, A'Zu. I feel so lost and afraid…"
I took a deep breath and played with my fingers. "Shanguan Zu Jin, I have a favor to ask. I hope you will listen to me. This is a selfish one, but I hope you will take it seriously. Can we join hands? Can you help me selflessly?" I ask.