Astrid
I trudged through the castle halls, feeling like a prisoner. Magnus had ordered the guards that they made sure I remained within the castle walls like I was going to run off somewhere and never return. Why would that even bug him when he wanted nothing to do with me?
But that was the thing about the bond. You couldn't be far from your mate as they gave you an amount of sanity. I felt a stinging sensation in my eyes as tears threatened to fall. I was hurt, lonely, and angry. Why was I being punished?
There was definitely no difference with my life back at home except for my mother and sister's insults but I had managed to live my life there. I was tired. I thought of Magnus, and my heart twisted in pain. He didn't want me, and now I was stuck here, unable to escape the constant reminder of his rejection.
Needless to say, I was tired and frustrated. I wished I never found him but my heart was strangely full with love for a man who didn't want me. What was wrong with me? Was the bond really a bad thing? I mean, I didn't get the chance to choose either even though I don't thinking I would have chosen anyone else.
I pushed the thought as I made my way to my room, slamming the door behind me. I paced back and forth, trying to burn off some of the anger and frustration. But it only seemed to grow, festering inside me like an open wound.
I stopped pacing and stood in front of the window, staring out at the forest beyond the castle walls. I longed to be out there, change into my wolf form and run in the woods but I couldn't as long as I was locked in here in here by my own mate.
I felt so suffocated and trapped. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, and I angrily wipe it away. I won't cry. I'm done being weak and vulnerable. Even though I feel the urge to run to him and be with him, I'd rather not. I'll wait and give him the space he wants even if it kills me. I won't be the one to close the gap be created.
I flopped onto my bed, trying to distract myself from the monotony of my day. But there was nothing much to do. I'd read all the books I found in my room when I first got here and there was no library in this castle.
Guess Magnus wasn't one to read much. As I lay there, I thought of Anel, my friend from the village. She had been there for me when I needed a friend most and when I was about to leave, I didn't even remember she existed.
I remembered the way Anel used to make me laugh, the way she'd tease me and push me to be my best self. I missed her terribly and I felt terrible for leaving her without even thinking twice. I sighed, feeling restless. I wondered what was going on with her now.
A knock at the door interrupted my train of thoughts.
"Come in." I didn't need to guess who it was as she was the only one who came to see me and perform her duties.
"Hello, milady," she said, curtsying as she entered the room. "I brought you some fresh water and a clean towel."
"Thank you." I replied, realizing instill didn't know her name.
I tried to muster a smile. "What's your name?" The girl looked up at me with her bright brown eyes that promised a warm innocent character.
"Samantha, milady." She replied shyly dropping everything she brought.
"Can you stay, Samantha?" She looked at me skeptically. "I'm just so bored here on my own. I feel so lonely."
Samantha's face lit up with a sad smile on her face, "I understand how you must feel, milady. Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a rut too. But then I remember my family and I can't help but be happy."
"Your family?" I asked, intrigued. "Tell me about them."
I could never talk about mine like that. With a smile on my face.
"Oh, they are simple folk," Samantha said, her eyes filled with love. "My parents are farmers, and I have three brothers who are always mischievous. We live in a small cottage on the outskirts of the village."
"That sounds wonderful," I said wistfully. "I've always wanted to experience life in a village."
My interest spiked.
"It's not all sunshine and rainbows, milady," Samantha said with a laugh. "But it's home, you know? My brothers are always teasing me and pulling pranks on me, but I love them to no end."
"Tell me more about your brothers," I said, eager to hear more.
"Well, there's Thomas, the eldest," Samantha said. "He's responsible and kind, always looking out for us. He's been teaching me how to read and write, and he's so patient with me." She smiled, taking a sit beside me.
"Then there's Benjamin, the middle child. He's a bit of a wild one, always getting into trouble and causing chaos. He's always pulling pranks on me, like putting frogs in my bed or hiding my hair ribbons." She laughed and laughed with her.
"He sounds like a handful." I said after my laughter died.
"He is, milady," Samantha said with a grin. "But he's also got a heart of gold. He's always looking out for me, even if he doesn't want to admit it. And then there's little William, the youngest. He's the baby of the family and we all spoil him rotten. He's always getting into trouble because he follows Benjamin around."
"Although I don't get to see them very much because of the nature of my job, I'm still very happy thinking about them and there's no sadness."
I felt a bit jealous. I wished I had her luxury.
"I'm glad you have such a loving family, Samantha," I said sincerely.
She nodded happily.
I looked at her curiously. "Samantha, can I ask you something?"
"Of course, milady," she replied still smiling.
"What do you know about the Alpha?" I asked, my voice low.
Samantha's expression closed off, and she looked away. "I don't know anything, milady."
I sighed, sensing her fear. "Samantha, I just need to know. I don't understand him and I'd love to understand why he....he…" I couldn't find the right words.
Samantha hesitated, then looked back at me. "I don't know much, milady. But... I've heard rumors and they are practically nothing."
"Just tell me, anything would do." I encouraged, my heart racing in anticipation.
Samantha's expression turned somber. "The Alpha has always been like this, milady.... em..." I could tell she was struggling to find the right words. One that wouldn't sound insulting. "Reserved." She finally settled with. "We had hoped that when you came, he would change, but... it didn't happen."
I nodded in understanding still waiting for her to continue.
"Some say he wasn't always like this though. They say after his parents died, he became... Err... this way, milady." She stared at her folded hands the entire time.