Astrid
Magnus swept me up in his powerful arms, and I was overwhelmed by a deep sense of security and safety—a feeling I wasn't accustomed to. Not ever since I lost Axel, I nestled my head into the crook of his neck, inhaling the scent of leather and spice, and felt my tense body relax.
I felt so secure and protected; I felt the urge to smile joyfully. In relief, wordlessly, he carried me in his firm hold as he walked out of my parents' house and stopped in front of a cart.
I marveled at how soft and relaxed the cushion of the cart chair felt to my touch, as I had never been in one before. I never went anywhere, so being clueless about these things was natural.
I felt tiny, protected, vulnerable, and safe in his arms. The world outside receded, and all that mattered was the warmth, comfort, and sense of belonging I found in his embrace.
I felt so much at home when I hugged him tighter against my chest. I needed him to feel safe, but he needed me to get inside the cart. So, I did as I was told and entered the cart.
He sat directly opposite me, and I spent my time trying not to stare at him. I didn't want him creeped out. As we journeyed on, I noticed a subtle change in his demeanor.
He seemed to be withdrawing, his gaze drifting away from mine, his expression increasingly stoic. I couldn't understand why. He stared out the cart window with total concentration staring at nothing in particular.
But every time I caught him looking at me, his eyes would dart away, focusing on the passing scenery. It was as if he was trying to distract himself from me. I was confused and worried. Was I doing something wrong? Was he regretting his decision to take me with him?
Were they only overthinking things?
Not wanting to seem like a creep, I followed his lead, gazing out at the rolling hills and trees. But my attention kept drifting back to him, trying to read his expression, to understand what was bothering him.
His jaw was clenched, his eyes fixed intently on some point in the distance. I wondered what he was thinking. Was he cursing himself for bringing me along, or was he angry that he had ended all relations with my father?
Had I made a mistake? Could this have been a mistake? I stared at my folded palms, my heart heavy with the thought of being rejected by my mate. Why was he acting this way? Why was he being so distant? Did someone tell him that I had killed my brother?
My heart shattered into a million pieces at the possibility. The silence between us was suffocating. Usually, mates could never keep their hands off each other when they found themselves. Anel had told me that the male was more protective and would never let go of the female.
Maybe he didn't want to impose. But then, his deep voice broke the silence, sending shivers down my spine. "What's your name?"
My knees felt weak, my pulse racing. I looked up, meeting his gaze. His eyes bore into my soul as if searching for something deep within me. I swallowed hard, trying to find my voice. "Astrid," I whispered, my voice barely audible.
He nodded, his eyes never leaving mine. "I'm Magnus."
My heart skipped a beat. Magnus? The powerful male Anel had told me about earlier? The wealthiest and strongest? I couldn't believe it. Me, Astrid, mated to the legendary Magnus?
My mind immediately drew back to Anel. Oh shit. I had left her back at home without even looking back. She was my good friend. My only friend.
I would miss her.
I was pulled out of my thoughts again when I heard his calm and husky voice. "We'll be stopping soon, Astrid. We need to rest and eat."
Whenever he called my name, I wanted to fall and worship him.
As the cart pulled up to a small clearing, Magnus jumped down, his movements fluid and graceful. He turned to me, offering a hand up, and I took it, feeling a spark of electricity as our palms touched.
We walked to a nearby stream, where Magnus produced a small food basket. I watched, amazed at how neat and orderly he was when he spread out a feast before us - juicy meats, fresh fruits, and crusty bread.
"Astrid, eat," he said after noticing I was lost. I couldn't even form a single sentence. All I could do was nod.
I took a bite, the flavors exploding on my tongue. It was like nothing I'd ever tasted before.
As we ate, Magnus said nothing, just stared at the space before us as though it was the most exciting sight in the world. Maybe he wasn't considering rejection earlier. Perhaps he had only been shy. A broad smile spread across my cheeks at the thought.
As we finished our meal, Magnus's gaze locked onto mine, his eyes burning with intensity. He stared at me for minutes, and I couldn't help but blush. "Astrid, you're beautiful, gorgeous," he said, his voice low and husky.
I felt a blush rise to my cheeks, my heart beating. No one had ever told me that before, and although I knew I was, no one ever said it except.... Him. His expression suddenly turned severe. "But I don't believe in the mate bond," he said, his voice firm. I was taken aback, confusion and surprise washing over me.
I felt paralyzed with shock.
Magnus stood up; his movements abrupt. "I don't believe in some mystical force dictating who I should be with. I want to love someone of my own volition, by my own will."
I felt like I'd been punched in the gut, my breath knocked out of me. "But... but....the bond....." What was he talking about? The bond was a beautiful and sacred thing.
Magnus shook his head. "I don't care about the bond, Astrid. I didn't ask for it, and I don't want it. I want to choose who I love, not have it imposed on me."
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I realized what he was saying. "You can't be with me," I whispered in shock, willing myself not to cry. At least not in front of him.
Magnus turned away, his back to me. "I'm sorry, Astrid. But I can't."
And with that, he walked away, leaving me alone in the clearing with hot tears streaming down my face.
I felt like my heart had been removed from the confinement of my heart and ripped apart. My heart was shattering all over again, and this pain was unlike anything I'd ever felt before.
When my family abandoned me and blamed me for Axel's death, I had been hurt terribly, and I had felt nothing could ever hurt more. Then came Magnus, and I realized all the pain I had experienced in my twenty-one years alive was nothing compared to what I was feeling right now.
My hands tightened around my chest as I cried bitterly. Why was I so pathetic...?