Finn's eyes snapped open, his heart doing its best impression of a jackhammer. For a split second, he was back in his dingy apartment, the stench of grease from his fast-food job clinging to him like a second skin. But as the soft light of dawn filtered through the leafy canopy above, reality hit him like a bucket of ice water.
"Oh yeah," he groaned, rubbing his face. "Magical naked teleportation. Just another day in paradise."
He sat up, his back cracking in protest. The 'bed' - if you could dignify a pile of twigs and leaves with that title - was about as comfortable as sleeping on a pile of Legos.
Finn made a mental note to bump 'decent sleeping arrangements' to the top of his to-do list. If he was going to be stuck in this bizarre Naked and Afraid situation, he at least wanted to wake up without feeling like he'd gone ten rounds with a chiropractor.
Glancing down, Finn was relieved to see he wasn't completely in his birthday suit anymore. He sported a pair of makeshift shorts - leaves and vines woven together in what could generously be called an attempt at modesty. It looked like the world's saddest luau costume, but hey, it beat going commando in the great outdoors.
"Good morning, my Lord," a voice said, making Finn jump like a startled cat.
He whirled around to see the green-eyed woman from yesterday standing nearby, her posture stiffer than his old high school principal's. Behind her, four other 'creations' stood guard, their eyes locked on Finn with an intensity that was equal parts reassuring and creepy.
"Uh, morning," Finn replied, trying to channel his inner confident leader and probably sounding more like a confused teenager. "Any... exciting developments in the thrilling world of watching me drool in my sleep?"
The woman blinked, her expression as unchanging as a statue. "No intruders or threats detected, my Lord. We have maintained constant vigilance as per your orders."
"Great. Good job on the... vigilance and all that." Finn stood up, stretching out the kinks in his muscles.
The idea that these beings - these people he'd somehow conjured up like the world's weirdest magic trick - were so utterly devoted to him still freaked him out. It was cool, sure, but also a little weird. Like having a bunch of super-powered, personality-free interns who'd never heard of personal space.
As Finn took in his surroundings, he saw the rest of his 'creations' already hard at work. Some were gathering more leaves and vines, probably for more exciting foliage fashion. Others were attempting to fashion tools from rocks and sticks, their efforts earnest but about as sophisticated as a toddler's first attempt at abstract art.
"Right," Finn said, clapping his hands together and immediately regretting it as everyone turned to stare at him. "Let's hear those reports. What's the sitrep on our brave new world?"
The green-eyed woman stepped forward, bowing slightly. "My Lord, we have scouted the eastern region as commanded. We found a river approximately three miles from here, teeming with fish and other aquatic life. The water appears clean and drinkable."
Finn nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Nice. Indoor plumbing might be a pipe dream - pun absolutely intended - but at least we won't die of thirst. What else you got for me?"
"We encountered various animals, both prey and predators. Unfortunately..." she hesitated, and Finn felt a twinge of unease. "We lost a few of our people to attacks by bears and wolves."
Finn's stomach dropped faster than a roller coaster. "Lost? You mean... they're dead?"
"Yes, my Lord. Six in total. We retrieved their bodies for your disposal."
Finn swallowed hard, guilt gnawing at him like a hungry rat. He'd created these beings, but he hadn't considered the dangers they might face. They were so efficient, so tireless, it was easy to forget they could be hurt. Or worse.
"I'm sorry," he said softly, more to himself than to the woman. Then, louder, "We'll need to be more careful. Set up patrols, maybe some kind of warning system. I don't want to lose any more... people."
The woman nodded, her expression as unchanged as ever. Finn wondered if she felt anything for her fallen comrades, or if their deaths were just another item to check off on her to-do list.
"What else did you find?" he asked, pushing away the dark thoughts before they could take root.
"The forest is abundant with resources. We found various types of berries, edible plants, and materials for building. However, we found no signs of human activity."
Finn nodded, processing the information. No other humans meant no immediate threats, but it also meant they were truly alone. Just him and his army of blank-slate superhumans in a world that seemed determined to kill them. No pressure.
He turned to the others, listening to their reports. The land was rich and fertile, but also fraught with dangers. They had found no roads, no structures, nothing to indicate that this world had ever seen a hint of civilization.
"Alright," Finn said, running a hand through his hair. "Here's the plan. We're moving to that river. We need fresh water and a more defensible position. Plus, I'm starting to smell like a locker room, and not in a good way."
His creations nodded, their faces serious. Finn wondered if they even got his attempts at humor. Probably not, but hey, he had to entertain himself somehow.
"Gather everything useful," he continued. "We'll head out as soon as we're ready. And, uh... see if you can whip up some better clothes. I feel like I'm cosplaying as a very confused palm tree."
As his creations set to work, Finn watched with a mix of amazement and unease. They moved with incredible efficiency, using their bare hands to accomplish tasks that would have modern humans reaching for power tools and ibuprofen.
Thinking back on his recent conversation, he remembered something the green-eyed woman had said. "Hey," he called out to her. "You said you retrieved the bodies of the... fallen. What did you mean by 'for my disposal'?"
She turned to him, her expression neutral. "The bodies are at your disposal, my Lord. They can be used for whatever purpose you deem fit. Food, if necessary, or materials for-"
"Whoa, whoa!" Finn held up his hands, his face scrunching in disgust. "No one's eating anyone. That's... that's not happening. Ever. Got it?"
"As you wish, my Lord."
Finn shuddered. He'd have to be more careful with his wording in the future. These creations took everything literally, and while that efficiency was useful, it could also be disturbing as hell.
As he watched them work, a thought struck him. He closed his eyes, concentrating on that strange feeling he'd discovered yesterday - that inner well of power that had brought these beings into existence. With a thought, he summoned two hundred more creations.
They appeared before him, blank-faced and ready to serve. Finn stumbled back, still not used to the rush of power that accompanied the act of creation. It was like chugging ten energy drinks and then getting hit by lightning - exhilarating and terrifying in equal measure.
"Right," he said, trying to sound authoritative and probably coming off more like a substitute teacher on their first day. "You lot, start gathering supplies. Food, water, anything we can use for shelter. We're moving out soon."
The new creations moved to obey without hesitation, integrating seamlessly with the others. Finn watched them, fascinated by their coordination. They worked like a well-oiled machine, each one knowing their role without needing direction.
They also seem to know a lot about survival for some reason. It's better than Finn has ever done, that's for sure.
As Finn watched his creations work tirelessly, a thought occurred to him. "Hey," he called out to the nearest one. "Don't you guys need a break? Food? Water?"
The creation turned to him, its expression neutral. "No, my Lord. We do not require sustenance or rest. We don't need to eat, sleep, or receive medical aid, except for serious injuries. We don't get sick either."
Finn's eyebrows shot up. "Seriously? That's... wow. Talk about low maintenance. I bet you're a hit at all-you-can-eat buffets."
By midday, they were ready to move. Finn stood at the edge of the clearing, looking out over his assembled 'army'. They stood in neat rows, waiting for his command. It was an impressive sight, even if their blank stares were a bit unnerving. It was like being in charge of the world's fittest, most obedient flash mob.
"Alright, people," he called out, trying to channel his inner action hero and probably sounding more like a camp counselor on his first day. "Let's move out. Stay together, watch for dangers, and... try not to die, okay? I'm not loving this whole 'use the dead for resources' vibe we've got going on."
The trek to the river was exhausting for Finn, but his creations moved tirelessly. They carried makeshift supplies and tools, navigating the rough terrain with ease. Finn found himself lagging behind, his stamina no match for his superhuman companions. He felt like he was on the world's worst nature hike, complete with the constant threat of death and a severe lack of trail mix.
"Hey," he panted, calling to the nearest creation. "Next time, maybe create some beings with, I don't know, a sedan chair or something? This hiking business is for the birds."
The creation looked at him blankly. "We can carry you, if you wish, my Lord."
Finn considered it for a moment. It was tempting, but... "Nah, I'm good. Gotta maintain some dignity. What's left of it, anyway."
When they finally reached the river, Finn felt a surge of relief. The water was clear and inviting, the sound of it flowing over smooth stones like music to his ears. The area around the riverbank was open and sunny, with plenty of space for a camp. It was like stumbling onto a five-star resort after a month in the wilderness - if the resort had no amenities and was staffed entirely by super-powered nudists.
"Alright, this is it," Finn announced, trying not to sound as winded as he felt. "Set up camp here. Build shelters along the bank, and let's get some kind of perimeter going. I don't fancy waking up to a bear using me as a chew toy."
His creations immediately set to work, their movements so coordinated it was almost eerie. They used branches and leaves to construct simple shelters, while others gathered stones to create a fire pit. Within hours, they had transformed the riverbank into a bustling camp. Finn watched in amazement, feeling like he was witnessing the world's most efficient, clothing-optional construction crew.
As the sun began to set, casting a golden glow over the camp, Finn gathered his creations around the newly built fire pit. "Alright, team," he said, trying to sound inspirational. "We've done good work today. But this is just the beginning. We've got a lot of work ahead of us, and we need to be ready for anything. Bears, wolves, maybe even dinosaurs. Who knows? This could be like Jurassic Park, but with less Jeff Goldblum and more leaf underwear."
To his surprise, his creations smiled at his words. It wasn't a natural smile - more like they were mimicking what they thought a smile should look like. It was a bit unsettling, like being surrounded by a bunch of very attractive, very strong mannequins trying to pass a Turing test.
"Okay, that's... new," Finn muttered. "Note to self: work on the whole 'emotional range' thing. This is veering into uncanny valley territory."
As night fell, Finn lay on his new bed - still made of leaves and grass, but at least it was fresh - and stared up at the stars. They were incredibly bright here, with no light pollution to dim their glow. It was beautiful, in a 'holy crap, I'm in another world' kind of way.
For the first time in years, Finn felt a spark of something other than bitter resignation. It wasn't quite hope - he was still too wary for that - but it was... possibility. Here, in this strange new world, he wasn't just another burnout working a dead-end job. He was... well, he wasn't entirely sure what he was. A leader? A god? A very confused teenager with an army of super-powered nudists?
Whatever he was, it beat flipping burgers.
As he drifted off to sleep, Finn's mind raced with possibilities. Tomorrow, he'd start really putting his creations to work. They needed better shelters, weapons for hunting and defense, maybe even some kind of government. After all, if he was going to be the lord of a new world, he might as well do it right.
"First order of business," he mumbled, sleep starting to claim him. "Pants. Definitely need pants."
With that profound thought, Finn fell asleep, the sound of the river and the soft breathing of his creations a strange but oddly comforting lullaby.