September 5, 2011 (Age 12)
Dear Diary,
I never thought I'd be writing in one of these again, but I need somewhere to organize my thoughts. It's been a week since I woke up back in my 12-year-old body, and I'm still adjusting. Middle school is... well, it's exactly as I remember it. Trivial. But I can't let anyone know that.
I've started mapping out key events I need to change. The first major one is Dad's breakthrough in temporal physics. If I can delay or alter that, maybe I can prevent the whole mess with the Entics from ever happening. But I have to be careful. One wrong move could make things even worse.
For now, I'm focusing on building trust with Dad. I've started asking more questions about his work, showing a level of interest that's probably unusual for a 12-year-old. He seems pleased, if a bit surprised. I just hope I'm not arousing suspicion.
October 15, 2011
Dad's been working later and later. I remember this from before - it's the start of his obsession with temporal theory. I've been trying to distract him, to pull him away from work more often. Family game nights, weekend trips to the science museum. Anything to slow down his research.
It's strange, being around Mom again. Every moment with her feels precious. I find myself staring at her sometimes, trying to memorize every detail. She's noticed, I think. She keeps asking if I'm feeling alright. How can I tell her that I'm just grateful she's alive?
February 3, 2012
I had my first run-in with Zara today. In the original timeline, we didn't become friends until high school. But I couldn't help myself. When I saw some kids picking on her in the hallway, I stepped in. Got a bloody nose for my trouble, but it was worth it to see her smile.
It's weird, knowing her now but also remembering the fierce, brilliant woman she becomes. Will become. Time travel makes verb tenses complicated.
I'm worried I might be changing too much too fast. But how can I not try to make things better for the people I care about?
July 20, 2012
Summer vacation. Dad's work is progressing faster than I'd like. I managed to "accidentally" spill juice on some of his notes last week. Bought us a few days, at least. I feel guilty about sabotaging him, but when I think about what's at stake...
I've started working out in secret. This body is so weak compared to what I'm used to. I need to be prepared for whatever comes.
November 10, 2012 (Age 13)
Dad's getting close to a breakthrough. I can feel it. He has that same excited gleam in his eyes that I remember from before. I'm running out of ideas to slow him down without raising suspicion.
On a brighter note, I've managed to befriend Zara, Axel, and Lena earlier than in the original timeline. It's nice having them around, even if they don't know everything we've been through together. Will go through together? Time travel is confusing.
March 15, 2013
I messed up. I got into an argument with Dad about his work, let slip some knowledge I shouldn't have. He looked at me strangely, asked how I knew about certain theories. I played it off as best I could, said I'd been reading his notes. But I think he suspects something.
I need to be more careful. The stakes are too high for mistakes like this.
August 2, 2013
Dad's work is advancing rapidly now. I'm running out of options to slow him down subtly. I'm considering more drastic measures. The thought of sabotaging my own father's life's work makes me sick, but when I think about the alternative - the war, the Entics, Mom's death - I know I have to do something.
I've started leaving anonymous notes warning about the dangers of temporal manipulation. I don't know if they'll make a difference, but I have to try.
December 24, 2013
Christmas Eve. The house is full of laughter and the smell of Mom's cooking. For a moment, I can almost forget the weight on my shoulders. Almost.
Dad pulled me aside earlier, asked if I wanted to see what he's been working on. My heart nearly stopped. This is it - the moment his research starts to bear fruit. I made an excuse, said I wasn't feeling well. I could see the disappointment in his eyes. It killed me, but what choice do I have?
May 10, 2014 (Age 14)
It's happening. Despite all my efforts, Dad's on the verge of his breakthrough. I overheard him talking to Mom about a "revolutionary discovery." I'm out of time and out of options.
Tonight, I'm going to break into his lab and destroy his research. The thought makes me sick, but I can't see any other way. The fate of the entire multiverse is at stake. I just hope that someday, somehow, he'll understand why I had to do this.
May 11, 2014
I couldn't do it. I stood there in his lab, looking at years of his work, and I just... couldn't. What right do I have to make this decision? To potentially rob the world of a scientific breakthrough that could change everything?
But if I don't, am I dooming us all to the same fate I've already lived through?
I left everything untouched and snuck back to bed. I've never felt more lost.
September 3, 2014
School started again. I'm a freshman now. In another life, this would have been exciting. Now, it just feels like a distraction from the real problems.
I've decided on a new approach. Instead of trying to stop Dad's research entirely, I'm going to try to guide it. Steer him away from the more dangerous aspects of temporal manipulation. It's risky - one wrong suggestion could accelerate the very thing I'm trying to prevent. But it's the only option I have left.
January 17, 2015
Progress, finally. I've managed to spark Dad's interest in the theoretical dangers of temporal manipulation. He's starting to consider failsafes and ethical guidelines for his work. It's not much, but it's a start.
Zara asked me out today. In the original timeline, we didn't start dating until junior year. I said yes - how could I not? But part of me feels guilty. She doesn't know who I really am, what I've been through. What we've been through together in a future that may never happen now.
June 5, 2015 (Age 15)
Dad's work has hit a snag. Some of the failsafes he's implemented based on my "innocent questions" have revealed flaws in his original theories. He's frustrated, but I'm relieved. Every delay is another chance to change the future.
I'm trying to balance being a normal teenager with my mission. It's harder than I expected. Sometimes I catch myself slipping, mentioning things I shouldn't know yet. Zara's starting to notice. She's always been perceptive.
October 12, 2015
I had a nightmare about the Entics last night. Woke up in a cold sweat, half-expecting to see reality tearing apart around me. Mom heard me screaming and came to check on me. As she held me, comforting me like I was still a little kid, I almost told her everything. The words were right there on the tip of my tongue.
But I didn't. I can't. The burden of knowing what's coming - it has to be mine alone.
February 28, 2016
I overheard Dad talking to a colleague about military applications for his research. This is it - the beginning of the path that leads to the Entics. I tried to casually bring up the dangers of weaponizing this technology, but he brushed off my concerns. Said I couldn't possibly understand the complexities involved.
He's right. I don't understand. I don't understand how he can't see where this leads.
July 4, 2016 (Age 16)
Independence Day. As I watched the fireworks with my friends and family, all I could think about were the temporal explosions that tore apart reality in the future I'm trying to prevent.
I broke up with Zara last week. It wasn't fair to her, being with someone who's constantly keeping secrets. She deserves better. The look on her face... I hope that in this timeline, at least, I've spared her some of the pain that's coming.
November 9, 2016
I found designs for the temporal manipulator in Dad's lab. The same device that started everything in my original timeline. I was tempted to destroy it, but I know now that won't solve anything. The knowledge is out there. Destroying one prototype won't stop it from being built.
Instead, I copied the designs. I need to understand this technology if I have any hope of preventing its misuse.
March 22, 2017
I think Axel suspects something. He cornered me today, said I've been acting strange for years now. Asked me point-blank if there was something I wasn't telling them. I almost broke down and told him everything right there.
But I held it together. Made up some story about family problems. He didn't look convinced, but he let it go. For now.
I miss my friends. The real versions of them, the ones who fought beside me. But those people don't exist yet. May never exist now. I don't know if that's a good thing or not anymore.
August 15, 2017 (Age 17)
It's my birthday. Seventeen again. In my original timeline, this was the year everything started to go wrong. The year Dad's research caught the attention of people who would use it for their own ends. The year the first cracks in reality started to appear.
I've done everything I can to change things. Steered Dad's research, implemented failsafes, spread warnings about the dangers of temporal manipulation. But I can feel it in my gut - something big is coming. All I can do now is hope that I've done enough to change the course of history.
Tomorrow, I start my senior year of high school. Again. But this time, I'm not just a student. I'm the only thing standing between this world and a war that spans all of time and space.