Chereads / Would you choose to live forever? / Chapter 8 - Chapter 8: Graduation Day

Chapter 8 - Chapter 8: Graduation Day

I lay there on the sofa, my head still in a mess and my eyes singed from staying up the entire night. I couldn't sleep at the very slightest, not after what had happened just the night before.I felt like I was sinking in a pool of murky water as my heart ached from a pain I was too familiar with. It was the feeling of loss, a never-ending void that hung over one's heart and brought upon an inexplicable sensation that can't be described.Yet for some reason, even when there was a time I felt a dark void couldn't have gotten worse, it now felt much more vast and empty than it had been before...As if it had expanded, the void was now much more distant, far far away from where I could conceivably see and touch. The emptiness of the vast void made me want to cry at every instant; the uncomfortable sensation that persisted was unbearable.With empty eyes, I stared toward the ceiling and suddenly, the image of her crying face from last night flashed before my very eyes.The tears that were mixed in the rain while running down her face, the shining of the neon billboards and street lights along with the droning noise of city clamor, it felt as if it was but minutes ago I witnessed such a sad scene.I regretted what I had said last night.Though she had betrayed me by lying then, I could still tell that she was giving it her all back then to make me smile. From each destination we visited yesterday, I felt the determination that beamed out of her bright smiling face; the determination that shot from each part of her body, she was doing everything she could to make it an enjoyable evening.I wanted to take back what I had said but it was already far too late. There was little left I could, it was already too late when the words came spilling out of my mouth.Still lying on the sofa, I turned around trying to get comfortable yet, each time I turned, I only felt more sore and in a state of frustration, I sat up straight, thinking it might be best if I just remained in a sitting posture.But as I did so, my phone rang coincidentally and as I picked it up, I found a message that came from yet another unknown number.I clicked on the message and quickly found that it was sent by none other than the homeroom teacher of my classroom."Good morning Akiyama-kun, today marks the day of your graduation! Congratulations! There will be a celebration today and though there is no mandatory attendance, I sincerely hope that you are able to attend...""It is, after all, the last class you'll be attending. I hope you're doing fine these couple of days, it still must be hard after everything. Once again, I hope you can attend today's graduation ceremony..." The message read.As soon as I finished reading the passage of words, I sighed deeply, realizing that my high school days were over and I'd be finally entering adulthood.I recalled working hard and doing my best back then to make my family proud of my grades and achievements academically yet, there was no point in going to the graduation ceremony now..."After all, they won't be coming to see me graduate..." I said into the still living room.I stood up and walked out the front door of my house; my steps sounding through the wooden boards of the floor. I turned the knob and exited, I found the sun barely peaking through the mountains far off in the distance.It was daybreak."Maybe I should go for a walk..." I said and stepped out of my doorstep, there I found the noise of a fellow person leaving their house."Oh? Eito-kun, out for a stroll are we? At this time of day too? I figured you had already headed out to school..." "Wasn't today your graduation ceremony?" She asked of me with a wholesome smile."Ah, I probably won't be heading to the graduation ceremony... I still have a lot on my mind right now..." I replied as I stared at the ground with a smile."Is that so... In that case, if you're heading for a stroll, why not accompany this old lady to the market? There are a few things I need to pick up and it'd be a shame to just go alone. How about it?" She asked of me, quickly noticing the context clues in my speech."The market huh..." I whispered under my breath, remembering how I would walk with my mother to buy ingredients for a hearty dinner after tiring days.The smiles I had back then and the fun moments I had while cooking with her, it was a moment forever ingrained in my memory I would never trade for another."Sure thing, Maruka-san, I'd love to go with you if you don't have a problem with it..." I said with a smile and before long, I locked the doors and walked off down the streets towards the street markets of Kyoto............As I held onto a paper bag stuffed full of shopping and vegetables, I was already feeling the fatigue from both yesterday's event and the lack of sleep I received.My arms felt like they were literally about to fall off and yet, the middle-aged next-door lady was able to carry three entire bags of groceries by herself without even breaking a single sweat.I felt as if I was inferior in front of her and though it made me seem lesser, I couldn't help but admire the strength she had surely built up throughout her life as a loving mother.Walking through the marketplace, I followed the lady as she perused through the stalls selling fresh goods and items that one would only find best in these sorts of places. Moments later, she stopped to assess a few of the fruits that looked to have ripened well in the season."I wonder if that useless husband of mine likes a dish with mangoes...""Honestly, he should really tell me whether he thinks my dishes are good or not, he's always giving me such middling answers!" She complained to herself as she picked up a few of the soft yellowish-orange pieces of fruit."Is that so, haha... Right... if you don't mind, would you mind telling me how you and your husband met...?" I asked of her as I did my best to hold onto another heavy bag she handed over to me to carry."My husband? Hmm, I don't know if you really want to know, that man is always so nonchalant about things, it makes me wonder if that brain of his is really turning...""But, he really is the love of my life... Our lives back then weren't so different from now you see... We met when we were but high schoolers, I can still remember that entirely mediocre way he looked at me then...""He was always the quiet type and never stood out in any way but, it was his determination and the little things he did that made me fall for him. What a fool I was, I really did fall for a man with such mediocre qualities...""That said, I can't imagine myself with anyone else other than her..." She told me, her eyes softening up as we began making our way back to our homes."Determination and the little things... I guess I really screwed up then, didn't I..." I whispered to myself just silent enough so that the person beside me wouldn't have heard it.We continued our walk but suddenly, something buzzed in my pocket, leading me to stop for a moment as to what notification came up.I flipped it open once more for the day and there I saw it, a message sent by Riku just a second ago. I felt ecstatic for a moment when I saw the message belonged to her and yet, I was hesitant to read the contents of the message; my finger waving around the button to click into it."What's this? Could this be from a girl, why so shy? I know you're not the type to be like this, your mom and I always complimented you for your decisiveness~""If there's a problem between the two of you, it'd be best not to ignore it any longer. Problems are best resolved in person after all..." She said with a smile and with newfound confidence, I clicked into the message and read it in my mind."Dear Eito-kun... This is probably quite sudden and you might not want to read this after what happened yesterday but... I just want to thank you for everything...""On that Saturday night, it felt like my whole world was turned on its tail. It was as if you were the shining light to my dark sky. The knight in shining armor to my rescue...""I couldn't have asked for a better day than what had happened that day... Yet, because of my stupidity and foolishness, I had to ruin everything we've built up then with just yesterday's attempt to make you happy...""But there's no need to worry about me any longer, for I have already come to my own conclusion. This scenery was probably what you saw that day, it's quite a warm evening isn't it... Thank you for everything...""Sincerely, Riku Kobayashi..." The message read and for a moment, I felt as if the world had frozen around me, an unprompted stop as the entire planet stopped, leaving me to stand there and wonder what I had just read.The writing and contents of the letter, it would seem that it'd be a simple apology and yet, it was all too familiar to me. The letter reminded me of a dark time in my life, back when my sister first passed away and it was just me and my mother left.I remember how distraught I was then, how saddened by the news of the passing of my sister I contemplated ending it all to just see them again. I recalled writing a letter, one that I would pass to my mother in case I had really committed to ending it all.But in the end, I failed to do so as I couldn't leave my mother alone like that and as I held my phone tight with my heart pumping, I realized it was no mere letter of apology."Maruka-san! I have to go right now, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to leave you to walk back on your own!" I said abruptly to her and to my surprise, she wasn't fazed at all by my sudden and unforeseen request."Of course, there's no problem bringing these back on my own. It's something really important, isn't it? If that's the case, then go on and do what you have to do~" She said with a smile as if she had already anticipated it would turn out like this.But as time was ticking down, I couldn't stand there to question it any longer, and handing her the bags I was holding onto, I rushed across the road, running down the streets with the sole purpose of reaching Riku as quickly as possible, as fast as I could with my already sore legs.She stood there in the middle of the sidewalk, watching as I bolted away in the distance, and with a smile still on her face, she looked at me as one would of a proud mother encouraging their children; the look of pleased and joyful look one would have to see their children's success."See there Akemi-san... There wasn't a need to worry about him after all, was there? He already knows the path he has to take...""And standing here and watching him run like that, I can't help but be reminded of my own daughter... How kids grow up so fast, it's astonishing how quickly they mature~" She said to herself, reminiscing about the times she laughed and bonded with her neighbor.She continued smiling and watching as I ran and ran into the distance. Her eyes fixed on the determination she felt radiating from me as I made my desperate attempt to prevent a tragedy that might befall the world I would never be able to take back...