The rest of the week passed by in a blur, and every night, Josh made the same types of announcements: all is well, and everything is cheery. This man to me was getting as annoying as a wet tissue. He was too excited about boring reports. One example is when he made a scene about a new sign that went up at the parking lot, where the parents used to drop off their children at the nursery. Apparently, the first sign indicating to turn left into the parking lot and the lines painted on the paving weren't enough of an indication that this area was a parking lot, they had to add additional signage. I preferred this over the death and carnage reports but couldn't they have reported on something a little more newsworthy? Granted, the town was seriously entertained when he decided not to turn up for one of his shifts and the producer had to go on in his stead. She is an older lady and looks very professional on camera. She was wearing a red tailored suit and had grey hair that had been styled. Unfortunately, her extreme professionalism was short-lived when they went live to Sharon in the field where she was covering a story about a breast cancer fundraiser. These ladies had decided that a wet tee-shirt competition would be the way to raise funds for this specific charity and who was judging this very important competition, your very own Josh Brown. However, that wasn't the interesting part, you see Josh is a married man. I might add at this point in the story that she is a bodybuilder and not to be trifled with. His wife is not particularly understanding of a good cause and in front of the camera and everyone watching, she slapped him across his face and literally threw him over her shoulder and carried him off. This obviously left the lovely ladies in their wet tees very confused and soon there were volunteers from the crowd offering to judge, there were a lot of unhappy wives that day and more unhappy husbands the very next day complaining of aches and pains from sleeping on the couch. I think it went well, all in all, they raised double the amount they originally set their sights on and because of the lack of judging everyone came out a winner.
Mary and I discussed our date and we concluded that we had no idea how to do any of this. We heard other girls talking about dating and kissing and that was the entirety of our knowledge. Michael had suggested we go to the movies, which was fine and we agreed but we figured that we needed to ask someone with more experience. Alice is in the same grade as we are and has a new boyfriend every week, and why not, she is gorgeous. She is extremely tall and curvy. She has eyes that remind you of the ocean and long black hair. Her skin is pale and flawless and just as she is beautiful, she is kind and selfless. We talked a few times over the years and had it not been for her multiple boyfriends, we would have hung out every day.
"Hi Alice", I said loudly as we approached her and her boyfriend. They were in an embrace and what seemed to be an intense conversation. I think his name is Lucas. I've only seen him around the school and didn't exactly have any contact with him but he seemed like a good guy. He is as tall as she is and has shaggy brown hair and light brown eyes. I know he gyms and plays on the same rugby team as Dean and Michael. I may have been to a game or two. Alice turned to face us and Lucas kept his hand on her waist. I felt a twinge of jealousy, I wanted to know what it felt like to be touched like that. "Hi, girls", Alice said smiling widely. "uhm, Alice Violet and I were wondering if we could have a few minutes of your time", mary said shyly. I think she was approaching the subject delicately considering the next questions we had for her. "Shure, what's up?" Alice had a look of intrigue on her face. After standing there silently for what must have been a few seconds but felt like an eternity, Alice broke the silence, "Would you like to speak to me alone?" Both Mary and I started nodding maybe too fiercely and she giggled. She turned to Lucas but didn't say a word. He clearly got the hint and left. "Ok, you two are being all weird", she said still smiling. "We have a few questions about dating", I said softly, looking down at my feet. "I'm listening", she said with a hint of mischief in her voice. "What can we expect from a movie date and what should we not do?" I asked hoping to sound a little more confident but I don't think I came across as such. Her eyes lit up and I could tell she had some good advice. "Well...", she said, "...step into my office and I will tell you". Alice had a lot of advice to give. She encouraged us to sit in the back where it was dark so that no one would see us making out. Her next bit of advice was not to fart when your date touched your bottom, sounds legit. Another piece of advice she offered that seemed helpful was to let him make the first move, this way you won't seem desperate and clingy. The rest of the advice had to do with clothing and touchups but by then I had zoned out.
After school Mary and I found Michael and Dean standing next to my car. They seemed to be in a deep and passionate conversation. There were a lot of hand gestures exchanged on both sides. As we headed toward them I could begin to make out what they were getting so excited over. "It was fair!" Michael exclaimed. "No, it was a high tackle and the ref didn't blow him for it, he didn't get a card either," Dean said urgently. Great, rugby, my brain is zoning out, call it self-preservation at this point. "Problem?" Mary asked as we caught up to them. She looked between them both with a stern look on her face. "No, not at all", they both said in unison. "Your car is over there", Mary pointed to the other end of the parking area looking Dean dead in the eyes. How did she know what car he drove? I followed her finger and saw what I can only describe as the sexiest-looking Jeep. It was clearly a custom job. The roof had been taken off and it had a roll cage, the wheels were super-sized and clearly meant for off-roading. What caught my eye the most though was the paint job, The entire car was sprayed a metallic orange and black. All of the additional bars in the front, bull bars, and the spotlights as well as the rest of the bells and whistles were all chrome finished. I think this car was my first love, no wonder Mary noticed it. This is one seriously sexy car. Dean must have seen my expression and proudly said, "You like it? I built it myself." Ok, this guy is seriously talented. Michael not wanting to be left out of the conversation, chimed in "So about that date...."