"BLGHTTTT" I held onto the sides of the basket in panic as my stomach curled, and everything inside was violently forced out. Tears and sweat streamed down my face as this continued for several minutes.
After there was nothing left, I simply held the now vomit-filled basket in my lap as I struggled to catch my breath. As soon as I spoke the spell, it was as though everything was being pulled from my body. The feeling of nausea was immediate and overwhelming.
"What—was—that?!" I gasped, struggling to form words between breaths.
"Do not fret child, it is as expected," Hestia replied in a nonchalant manner. "Healing magic relies on the principle of having a wound pull the mana directly out of the caster in order to repair itself. Once the connection between the two has been made, it is nearly impossible to sever. That is why using anything beyond command spells is incredibly dangerous. Attempt to heal anything beyond what you are immediately capable of, and you will likely to kill yourself in the process."
"I see…" I replied, having finally slowed down my breathing.
"Over time, you will become more desensitized to the sensation. Now, do it again."
Slowly and tiredly, I raised my head to face her. "Again?"
"Yes," she commanded as she once again severed the hare's tendons, who this time only let out a weak and pained squeak as it collapsed. "Again."
Shakily, I raised my hand. "R…REVIVAS!"
This process continued. Over and over and over. I could no longer keep track of how many times I had spoken the spell. With each attempt, my body weakened, and my mind frayed. The hare would no longer even attempt to raise itself up after being healed. It simply laid silent, helpless, and defeated as it continued to be slashed. Its glossed-over eyes staring hopelessly into the distance.
I could not say for sure how far in it started, but at some point, I began to cry profusely, begging her to stop. The act of watching this animal suffer, only to be healed and forced to endure its pain all over again—I couldn't take it anymore, but it didn't matter. No matter how I pleaded, Hestia would swiftly cut its legs again each time it was healed.
"Please…" I mumbled as tears streamed down my face. "No more…"
"Again," she commanded in a strict voice.
Desperately I pleaded, "No, please, I can't."
"Heal it!"
"NO," I shouted, getting choked on my own tears.
"Now! HEAL IT AGAIN!"
At this moment, my mind had finally snapped. I could not stand to continue this. To extend the suffering any further. Without thinking, I lunged from my chair, grabbing the knife from her hand and cutting open my own palm in the process. I knew that I had injured myself, but in the moment, there was no pain. Only a desperate determination.
Quickly, I turned the knife in my hand, gripping the handle tightly as blood ran down my arm. Without wasting a second, I yelled out and plunged the knife through the hare's chest so hard that the blade became wedged in the table. The soft sound of its last breath exiting could be heard as its body twitched.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I cried, still gripping the knife.
It was only when Hestia grabbed my wrist that I let go.
I looked at her, scared of what she would say in response to my actions. But her expression did not change to show any anger or frustration. If anything, there was a light smile.
"Revivas," she said calmly, looking down at my wet and blood-spattered face. Immediately, I could feel the gash on my palm begin to close, and the bleeding stopped.
"You did well Sennin." she proclaimed.
"You have learned the hardest lesson there is to be had. Sometimes the best form of healing is death. You must never use this magic to prolong the suffering of another. Do you understand?"
Bewildered, I stared into her eyes for a moment before softly nodding in return. It was only then that my tears began to stop. Not because the anguish had faded, but because I was simply in too much shock for them to continue.
"Very well then, let us clean you before you make your way back home."