"I had a dream once. My lifeless body floating in the vast sea, and all sapphire till my eyes could stretch. My soul had already given up, yet my body remained afloat, maybe it still wished to survive….I didn't think much that day, but now I know…that dream was just my future…"
***
"Iseul, have you woken up already?" Choi Yeong called out while walking up the stairs.
A girl around fourteen or fifteen years old groaned sitting up straight at her mother's call. Her messy raven hair covers most of her pale face.
"Iseul!" A young woman probably in her thirties burst in, her hands on her hips as her hazel gaze remained fixated on the young girl on the bed.
"Didn't I tell you to sleep early and stop writing those stories of yours?" Choi Yeong sighed, walking into the room and picking up stuff that Iseul had made a mess of.
"How often do I tell you that writing stuff would not feed you? Better focus on becoming a doctor instead." Choi Yeong picks up the papers on the floor crumbling them into a ball and tossing it into the dustbin.
"But I don't wish to be a doctor," Isuel grunted, curling her fingers into a fist with quivered lips. From the time she was born, her life had already been decided. A doctor who saves the lives of people and she had no say in it.
"What do you want to be then?" Choi Yeong sighed, rolling her eyes paying not much attention to her daughter. This was a daily occurrence in the Kim household.
"I want to be a writer!" Iseul yelled out, losing her temper at her mother's behaviour.
"Never!" Choi Yeong responded immediately, freezing in her place. "Iseul, you are turning sixteen soon and still acting like a child. You are the eldest daughter, you have a younger brother, why can't you act like a responsible elder sister? What if something happens to me, how would you feed yourself and your younger brother? Have you ever thought about it? Isuel, enough acting like a fool get your act straight while you still have me." Choi Yeong left the room finishing her warning.
Iseul went quiet after hearing her mother, her eyes brimming up with tears, every time she tried to talk it out, her mother shut her off by saying similar things.
Why should she be responsible for her brother? She didn't give birth to him? She hates it! Most of all she hates her brother for being a burden to her. If he was not born, she could have followed her dream. Why can't he stand on his leg instead of leaning on her?
"Noona?" A young boy peeked at her room from the door in a low voice.
Iseul's face scowled seeing her young brother standing by the door. It was all his fault. If he was not born, then she could have pursued her dream.
"Go away!" Iseul shouted at him, getting up from the bed, storming towards the door and closing the door right in his face. She doesn't wish to see such bad luck in the early morning.
She heard her brother break down crying and her mother trying to soothe him, but she paid no attention to it and went straight to the bathroom to get ready for school.
Once heading down and getting the usual nagging from Choi Yeong while eating breakfast, Iseul headed straight to her school. It was pouring cats and dogs and something she hated more than her family was rain. The sickening rain. She despises it with all her heart, however, ironically she lives in a place where it rains the whole year.
Iseul picked up the umbrella and walked to the bus station just a few blocks from her house.
It's been years since they moved to this country, but it still was the same. The day when they first moved in, it was raining just like this. And she never comes to terms with the rain. Iseul had read books about how romantic and comforting the noise of rain was. But it was the opposite for her, every time it rained she felt anxious and uncomfortable, the uneasy feeling that something bad would happen. What is good on rainy days?
Iseul was still pondering when a voice called from behind, "Nuwa." Hearing the name, she was frozen to her place.
Nuwa, her other name, under which she posts her stories. Except for her, no one knows about it. Iseul was scared to turn back and check who called out. A feeling of uncertainty clenched onto her heart, and her mind went blank to think of anything.
"Isa!" Just then, Isuel heard a familiar voice calling from the other side. Iseul quickly woke up from the frozen state and looked towards the direction the voice came from. As expected it was her friend, Alice coming towards her with the usual bright smile on her face.
Alice locked her arm around her friend's. Confused to see her a bit paler than usual. "Isa, you alright?" Alice asked, checking her temperature.
"Alice, can you check if there is someone behind us?" Iseul asked, her fingers still curved into a fist.
"Hmm, behind us?" Alice was further puzzled by her friend's eccentric behaviour but she did like Iseul asked her to, "There is no one though?" Alice answered, shaking her head.
Isuel exhaled in relief, upon hearing that. She must have been overthinking again. There was no way someone would call her Nuwa.
"Isa, are you okay?" Alice was worried about her friend.
"I am fine. Let's go or we will miss the bus." Iseul changed the topic before Alice inquired any further questions.
Alice nodded, continuing their walk to the station talking about other stuff. Even though Isuel felt relieved no one was there, something didn't sit right. Something was off about it. Was she hallucinating?
"Isa, did you do the maths homework? What am I asking? Of course, you did, our honour student. Let me copy it." Alice talked, shaking her arm to get her attention.
"Oh, sure." Iseul nodded, not surprised, this was everyday happening by now she was used to it. Iseul's mind still wondered about what happened earlier in the morning. No matter how she tries to shake it off, it still lingers in her mind. As school ended, Iseul looked up to see the rain was still pouring. She wished it would stop raining. Iseul packed her bags, ready to leave well aware that the curse of rainy days was never-ending.
Alice sneaked behind her friend and peeked through her shoulder, "Isa." She whispered in her ears.
Iseul, startled by her friend's prank, pushed her away and stood a bit away from her, "Isa, do you know about this new writer Nuwa? Her book is so good. Many of her readers called her "master of coalescence of romance and adventure." Alice went on, showing the book on her phone.
Iseul remained quiet trying to act like a stone while inside she was beaming with pride and joy at the friend's talk. If only she could tell Alice that Nuwa was none other than her friend, Isa.
"Isa! Are you even listening to me?" Alice got a bit frustrated seeing Iseul lost in her world.
"Huh? Oh. Sorry, Alice. " Iseul jumped out of her trail of thoughts due to her friend's sudden interruption. "I need to go home early, let's talk later." Iseul picked up her stuff and rushed out.
Hearing her friend's remarks pumped her with the energy she lost in the morning after the fight. Now, she wanted to reach home as soon as possible and start writing a new chapter.
Iseul rushed down the stairs to the lobby. Since it was already raining, she picked up her umbrella and was about to step out when a familiar silhouette grabbed her attention.