It had been a few hours since his meeting with Director Yang, curled up on his floor, Lauri's eyes were still wet with tears.
How could this have happened, didn't he promise to keep fighting against Yang until he could give nothing more. Hadn't he promised to fight for his freedom until there was nothing left of him?
How could he have given up so easily? A question Lauri had kept asking himself. A question he already knew the answer to. His burgeoning friendship with Ashley, – despite how he acted towards the boy from a Great Family – was a spark of kindness he held in his heart for Gareth.
Lauri's fingers wrapped around his hair, pulling on it, he let out a weak sob.
His hair had grown so much over his year with Laurence. Before his trial was over, hadn't Lauri had thought of letting Merry make small braids out of it? Maybe she could comb it for him.
A weak noise escaped Lauri's lips.
Why did he have to grow attached to people so easily, he wanted to hate these people from this strange world. This world that wasn't the one he knew, these people who weren't the faces he had grown up with.
Ashley, Gareth, Nama. Why did they all have to be so kind to him?
'Why… Am I… So weak… I couldn't even keep the hate in my heart, I couldn't stay blind to the kindness of other people… I couldn't… I couldn't…'
As much as Lauri tried to lie to himself, he knew what he had attempted to do was a fruitless effort. Lauri wasn't cold-hearted, he did not know how to be. He had grown up surrounded by people who had loved him, people he had loved.
He was unable to hate people without reason, unable to stay distrustful of those who tried to help him.
But not everyone he had met was kind.
Balling his fist, Lauri huffed. It was an effort trying to pick himself up, but after a minute he sat up, crossing his legs underneath him.
The pain that had been inflicted on Lauri's body was still apparent hours later. Lauri had come up with a theory as to what was happening to his body hours prior when he was climbing the stairs to Yang's office, now he was almost certain.
'Yang has the power to damage my soul directly… How… How in the world do I fight that…'
Lauri slowly shook his head, that wasn't why he had sat up. At this very moment, fighting Yang was nothing more than an insurmountable task, defeating him wasn't even worth thinking about.
Lauri had picked himself up off the floor for a different purpose.
Summoning Luminescent Helper, Lauri shifted his perception to his Imprint. Summoning a knife in one hand he closed his eyes, reaching up to hold a lock of his hair, he began to cut.
***
The cafeteria bustled with activity, the chatter of Sickly talking about how they thought their first week at Compound Thirty-Four had gone. For the most part, it seemed that the teenagers were excited, every table was filled with excited chatter. Every table except for the one closest to the exit, two Sickly looked at the third with concerned expressions on their faces.
Ashley hesitated for a moment before asking.
"Um, Lauri. You, you don't look so great?"
Staring ahead with a blank expression on his face. Lauri shifted his gaze slightly to the left. He opened his mouth, and a dull noise escaped his lips, vaguely in the form of speech.
"Whatever…. Makes you think that…"
Ashley looked to Gareth, she gestured to Lauri with a thumb. Taking a moment to find his words, Gareth sighed.
"You look like shit, man, is it something to do with your meeting with Director Yang last night?"
Lauri's eyes slowly turned to Lauri.
He wanted to say yes, he wanted to ask- No, he wanted to beg for help. Gareth was from one of the Great Families, he was just anyone. Gareth was the son of its leader.
But Lauri couldn't beg for help, he couldn't even sigh. All he could say was what he had been told.
"It's nothing to do with Director Yang. I just couldn't get to sleep."
Ashley slightly tilted her head, a worried expression on her lips.
"You couldn't get to sleep? What's wrong, did you have a nightmare?"
Lauri weakly chuckled.
"You could say that."
Moving forward, Ashley held Lauri's hand.
"I'm sorry to hear that, Lauri. These times… They are very frightening but don't worry. It's not like you're alone. You have me, Gareth. We can help… Somehow."
Looking at Ashley's hand holding his own, Lauri's eyes narrowed. Turning to Gareth, he asked a question that had been bothering him for the past few days.
"Gareth… How come you've been spending so much time on this table? You know this is kind of the loner table, right? Surely a person of your stature should spend his time with others from Families of oh so great renown."
Ashley also looked at Gareth as Lauri asked his question. Looking at Lauri he looked at Ashley, then back to Lauri, then he looked away. Rubbing his arm, Gareth lightly shrugged.
"They aren't really the kind of people I like to spend my time with."
Ashley leant slightly closer to Gareth.
"Then what kind of people do you spend your time with?"
Gareth considered his answer for a second.
"Those kids are too… Status hungry, they only wanted to talk to me because of my Family. They just wanted to become friends with an Evertide. They couldn't care less about me. haven't you noticed, not one of them has come to talk to me since I started sitting here."
Ashley sat back, a saddened expression on her face. Lauri glanced at the tables on the far side of the room. Each one was filled with Sickly like himself, but unlike Lauri, these people had been trained from birth for the Summer Equinox. Prepared by their Families so that they would return from the Aether Stream as powerful Awakened. Lauri had read about these kinds of Sicklies, they always had such a grandiose name. They were the Legacy's.
Lauri tilted his head.
'Oh right, I hadn't paid anyone much attention the first time I was here, or the rest of the week.'
Looking around the room, Lauri noticed a divide in the attitudes of the Sickly. Where the tables filled with the Legacies were filled with rumbustious chatter, other tables were less so. These must be teenagers from regular backgrounds, from nice families, maybe one in three had a private tutor. Most of their knowledge was gained at school.
'With everything Laurence has taught me, I wonder if I would be able to beat them in a fight.'
He hesitated.
'Why… Am I thinking about that?'
As he looked around the room, his eyes came to rest on Ashley. The girl was almost vibrating in her chair as she stared at him.
Confused about what she was looking at, Lauri glanced behind him, seeing the empty hallway. Seeing nothing, he turned back to ask her what she was looking at.
"Ash, why do you have that expression?"
"Oh well."
Ashley tilted her head, a soft smile formed on her lips.
"Now that we know why you look like you've been dragged through a horde of Fiends, I can ask. Did you do something to your hair?"
Reaching a hand up, his fingers closed around the empty space. It took his mind a moment to process where his hair had gone. Reaching further up, his fingers brushed against his now short hair.
'Ah right, that is why I was up all night after all.'
"I… Thought it was time for a change."
Ashley and Gareth exchanged glances, Ashley had a large smile, and Gareth had a smaller smile.
Ashley nodded.
"It looks good."
Gareth shrugged.
"I've seen worse."