I blinked only to realize that the moon had already lost the battle again even after rooting for it with everything that I had. The sounds of bickering birds and the sound that I could liken to nothing but the sound of waves woke me up today. My curtain was fighting with all his might to make sure that the sun didn't win this round, the sun was too strong and blinding that when it kissed my face I realized why I always loved the moon.
It was past 9 in the morning when I woke up probably because I slept late looking for food like a lost sheep, I didn't mind waking up late at least my day didn't start until 11am. I took my left over snacks with my coffee maker to the kitchen to make me some tea, when I left my room I knew deep down that I was the only one in the apartment.
I didn't hear a single heart beat and I loved it that way I loved the peace and quiet together with the solace. I was singing at the top of my voice and swaying my hips to the song on my favorite playlist without a care in the world.
The little sip from the mug was enough to wash all my worries away I felt the wave of relieve wash over me but it all ended the moment I turned. Here she was the goddess the rude bitch ass roommate without a heartbeat.
How did I know she didn't have a heartbeat? Well that was a question I was sure as hell not ready to answer. Everything would have ended with a simple sorry and then we would move on with our day expect she sent me flying with a single push I was about to shout when I realized what I did wrong.
I had just turned my burning cup of coffee all over her body, her face was twisted in pain and it was at that point I knew there was no redemption for the two of us. I felt so disoriented that I started crying, I was going to apologize I swear but somehow I didn't know how to. She just looked at me winced and walked away I had never felt so bad my entire life.
The entire morning was blurry, I don't remember much from it I just remember talking my bath scrubbing my body like my soul was nowhere in sight like I was trapped in some kind of trance where I didn't have access to my mind. I shouldn't really care about what happened this morning or the fact that my roommate was literally crying herself to sleep because of the pain I had inflicted on her.
I just felt bad because I could have done better, I could have seen it coming I could done something to stop it but not in the knight in a shining armor kind of scene but in a way for me to feel less of a bad person. I didn't like the fact that she was in pain even though she was rude to me a few hours ago, I just think that if I was going to cause her pain then it won't be me pouring my hot relaxing cup of coffee on her.
She truly didn't deserve my coffee being wasted on her, she needed something far worse maybe less of physical pain and more of emotional turmoil. Now I am looking like a piece of trash walking towards what I think is the school's main hall for another round of torture.