Inside of the Adventurer's Guild, the team was browsing the fliers on the board that were posted by the townsfolk while Puffy jumped up on the counter and was conversing with the clerk, "Hey toots! We need to register these fools. They may look odd, but they can handle a beating, let me tell ya!"
The woman behind the counter had dark skin and black hair. She had a wonderful complexion and she smiled at Puffy, "Toots? That won't fly here short stuff." Puffy cringed, "I will register your pals though," she pulled out a stack of registration papers and was about to hand them to Puffy.
"Er, are we allowed to assist our friends who might have a harder time with paperwork?" Puffy inquired while looking up softly.
The clerk's demeanor softened, "Oh my, I didn't realize you were a caretaker. Bless your heart! Yes, you can fill it out, but we will need their verbal confirmation to process the paperwork."
"Wonderful, looks like you'll finally get your dream of being a real adventurer after all, big guy!" Puffy spoke like he was speaking to a child and waved at Pebble.
The clerk leaned forward and waved at Pebble, "Hello!" She paused between words to allow Pebble time to process what she was saying, "You do know this job has a fatality rate. Quite a high one too! Are you sure this is what you really want to do with your life?"
Pebble held his face in his hands from the embarrassment.
Puffy pointed at Pebble, "Look, you upset him! He knows the risks!"
"No, I'm not mad." Pebble said as he removed his hands, "I'm okay with the risks, thank you."
"Oh, you're not disabled!" The woman said as she grabbed the paper away from Puffy.
"Hey, I wouldn't jump the gun on that! Also, that's a mean thing to say to a clearly disabled individual!" Puffy was attempting to grab the paperwork back.
"No, he's not disabled. He only put 5 points into his intelligence before realizing he'd have to actually live with it." Bard corrected the confusion.
The clerk dropped the paperwork and stared at Pebble, "He put points into intelligence? What does that mean?" Her eyes widened, "No way! Are you all Heroes!?"
"Did the stats give it away?" Bard stood stunned.
"Oh boy, now you've done it." Puffy jumped down and walked back to the group. While the clerk ran to the back room.
"What's going on?" Phil turned back from the board and looked at Puffy.
"Well, I was trying to stay incognito for a while. However, Bard just announced that we are Heroes, so now things are going to play out a bit differently than I panned." Puffy sighed.
"What does that mean?" Fred was beginning to get worried.
"It's no big deal really." Puffy's pipe was still lit, so he continued to drag on it, "It means that instead of getting easy missions, we now have to do whatever suicide mission they have sitting around that no real adventurer group has ever been able to take on," he released a ring of smoke. "Sometimes it's a bridge Troll. Or sometimes it's a horde of undead. You know, the usual stuff. "
"But, I wanted to save the cat from a tree!" Phil gripped while pointing at the board.
"And I wanted to find the lost cauldron for the alchemist!" Fred moaned.
"That's good. Cat's are cute and alchemy is a great skill to learn one day, Fred!" Puffy gave a thumbs up.
Just then, the clerk returned with a scroll in hand, "I'm so glad you all came! We have a cave that's been located just due east from here. Reports say Goblins were setting up base there. That was two months ago. Since then, we've sent three groups to clear this out, but no one's made it back!" She rolled the scroll out on the counter. "The town is prepared to reward your party handsomely for taking on this task. Thank you!"
Puffy grabbed the scroll and the woman shooed them out the door. She pushed Puffy out, then Fred, then Bard. Finally she grabbed Pebble and paused for a moment to appreciate his handsome features, "Wow, you're a handsome bloke! I sure hope you can handle a few Hobgoblins!"
"Uh, thanks?" Pebble said as she shoved him outside and slammed the door in his face, "Wow. Why'd she act like that?"
"Many reasons," Puffy replied. "But the main one is, you're untested. Heroes come and go, people will be amazed by your existence, but they are even more amazed that you're still alive. Come back alive enough times and then you'll notice you'll start getting some fans. From there, people will treat you differently. For now, you're just like a gladiator walking into his first fight. They won't invest in you until you prove that you're going to be around for a while."
"Huh, okay then. Well what now?" Pebble hoped Puffy would have an idea of how to proceed, and he did.
"First, we need to get supplies for our mission. Seeking out a cave can be a bit of a task if you don't have the right tools for the job. Don't worry, I have a skill that will help us out, but we need to create some nightbane incense sticks first. We also need to make sure we look for good protection. Fred, if you can find some leather pads to put under your cloak, that would help more than you'd think." Puffy eyes the wizard, "Actually, what does your robe do? It's very pretty with the moving stars and constellations, but does it give any benefits?"
Fred held his robe with both hands and pulled it away from his body so he could look at it, "It's supposed to level up with me, but for now it gives no benefit or bonus."
"Good, take it off. It's too noticeable and it's a giveaway that you can cast magic. No one has clothes like that. I'm surprised you weren't mugged already for it." Puffy nodded.
"Maybe they tried?" Fred shrugged before mimicking the motion he made when he cracked the bandit's skull open.
"Fair point. Phil, when you leveled up, did you get the option to go invisible yet?" Puffy looked at the reptilian man.
"No, sir, but I do get to unlock it next level." Phil replied.
"How far away is that again?" Puffy pulled out a notepad.
"We need about 750 exp." Bard answered.
Pebble noticed that the team did not receive any experience for the thieves he killed the night before.
"Perfect, that's easy!" Puffy wrote in his notepad. "Okay, Phil, you take Fred to the leatherworker and see if you can find something for you both." Puffy eyed Bard, "Treasurer, they will need some funds."
Bard nodded and apportioned out a few coins for Fred and Phil, "Don't spend it all at once! Or do, since that's currently the plan, I guess."
"Indeed. Bard, you and I are going to go to the general store to get a few things." Puffy informed the musician and he nodded.
"What do I do?" Pebble held up a lonely hand.
"Since you can't use anything outside of your challenge items, you're pretty useless right now. Why don't you go read a book or something? Your intelligence points are low, but maybe hard work can pay off for you too?" Puffy dismissed him and gestured for Phil and Fred to move along.
"Can he tag along with us?" Phil gave Pebble a sympathetic look.
"No sir, he'll f*ck it up! You know what? If you really need a task, Pebble, why don't you head east into the woods… NOT TOO FAR!" Puffy made a chopping motion with his hands, "Chop down some trees with your big ass axe. We will need firewood, and it would be a good idea to start drying the wood as soon as possible."
Pebble nodded, then paused, "Oh! We already have firewood in the supplies that the King gave us!"
Puffy face palmed, "Whatever, go chop wood anyways. It's a good skill to learn. Either way, I need you to touch grass for a bit while we get inventory."
"Sure, whatever," Pebble felt useless.
"Sorry, bro. If it were up to me, you could come to the general store with us." Bard tried to cheer him up.
"God, no!" Puffy exclaimed, "Look, Bard, I'm trying to utilize your charisma to get a discount. Pebble has 5 charisma, he's a liability. As for Phil and Fred, I need them to focus, Pebble is a distraction."
"Ouch," Pebble sighed.
"Just go to the general store, I'll meet you there in a minute," Puffy pointed to the store down the street and sent Bard on his way.
"Alright, once again, sorry Al… Pebble!" Bard corrected himself before mentioning Pebble's old name, much to Pebble's relief.
After Bard walked out of earshot, Puffy dove into his own inventory and pulled out a set of metal rods, "Look Pebble, they don't know, but I know how strong you are. I'm not worried about you going in there and setting these rods down. Do a little investigating and try to see if you can find a trail to this cave. If you think you found something, hide a rod near the trail. I've pre-casted a few tracking spells on these that will allow me to monitor the woods where they are placed." Puffy grinned, "They can also be used as a pylon for some of my other skills." Puffy pulled out a coin that Pebble immediately recognized as a Coin of Communication, "Here, let's connect so I can contact you if you don't make it back to our rally point, which would be the edge of the forest east of the city."
Pebble felt a huge sense of purpose, "You mean I'm not useless?" He sounded like a whimpering puppy as he pulled out his coin and tapped it against Puffy's.
"No you moron! You're the front line! You're only worried about your friends finding out about you, right? Go while they are busy and get some work done. Once we are with you, you can go back to supporting like you wanted." Puffy reached up and offered a fist bump.
"You're the man," Pebble obliged and a tiny pat sound was heard when Pebble's massive fist collided with Puffy's little one.
—
"Say, Artia…" Glurt held a cookie up with glee, "...what was the name of our mutual acquaintance again?"
"Go f*ck yourself, Glurt," she replied bluntly while turning away from the chalice that depicted Pebble's actions.
"Oh come on now! No need to be so touchy about it. You never had any sort of relation with the man anyways." Glurt took a bite of the cookie with a smile.
"It's the implication. He pursued ME with that stupid little simpleton name of his." Artia balled her fist.
Glurt made a high pitched sound as he stifled a laugh, "Oh, Throne Holder, do you remember the man's name?"
The Throne Holder smiled, "Yes, Glurt. I do remember the name quite well."
"Perfect! Do you mind reminding us?" Glurt was beyond pleased with this conversation.
The Throne Holder pulled out a little pocket book out of his robes and flipped through the pages. After a moment, he stopped flipping and grinned, "Ah, yes, here it is. Artia's suitor, a simple man from Earth, was rogue summoned 32 years ago by a bandit group named Nuthgar. His name was David Tiller until he was summoned. He made his character before coming to this world, and the name he chose was…" The Throne Holder cleared his throat, "HoeSlayer69."
Artia spat.
Glurt lost it.