The green-and-white top floor looks like a war zone.
Lightning bolts whiz past Daji and me through the hallways, narrowly missing our heads. Meanwhile, Sun Wukong spins his staff and actually knocks the silver bolts back so that they boomerang. He looks like he's batting for the Red Sox.
Thor stands at the end of the hall, smirking, a neon lightning bolt in one hand and his magical hammer, Mjollnir, in the other. "You're improving, old man."
"Never play baseball with a macaque god who has seventy-two powers," Sun Wukong answers. "We win every time."
"You're creating a nuisance," I say calmly.
"We're just having some harmless fun." Sun Wukong gives me an innocent look.
Thor's teeth are blindingly white when he smiles. "And anyone else on this floor has learned to wear earplugs."
"Athena hasn't." I raise my voice to be heard over the clamor. "She complained to me. I promised her I would help keep the noise down! If you're going to play lightning baseball, go to the gym. Or the ballroom. Or outside in the fenced yard."
"That's no fun," Sun Wukong growls.
"Take it or leave it. Maybe, as you say, the other guests are used to this after a billion years, but I've still had complaints. You may be immortal beings—"
Thor chuckles, which sounds like stone cracking. "Figured out the riddle, did you?"
"I didn't need you to hit me over the head," I growl.
Thor roars with laughter, so hard that he stops throwing lightning and thunder. "Very good! It only took you three months!"
"And how long did it take my grandparents?" I challenge. "Did they know when they took on the inn? Because I didn't know."
Thor and Sun Wukong stop their game of cosmic baseball. Amazingly, I see minor scorch marks and a few small gouges on the walls. I need more of whatever wallpaper my grandparents used. I need it by the truckload.
I walk over and touch the wallpaper. It's HUMMING. I'm sensitive to stuff that I shouldn't be sensitive to, but this wallpaper feels alive.
"You really didn't have any inkling," Sun Wukong says behind me.
I nod, stroking the wallpaper. "Is this some kind of magical paper? Is there a magical Home Depot where I can order more?"
Already, I'm picturing rows of magical wallpaper in a variety of colors, with friendly—or grumpy—gnomes and elves and fauns in smocks, assisting customers.
"No need. The magic lasts for a hundred years," Thor says matter-of-factly. He might as well be discussing the weather or the sports scores.
"You didn't know," Sun Wukong repeats. "I thought Daji was just joking with me."
"The joke was on me," I say with candor. "My grandparents told me nothing."
"Your parents?" the monkey-man probes gently.
"Your guess is as good as mine, but they don't seem to know."
"Hmmmm." Sun Wukong looks at me. "Interesting."
Thor chimes in, "Father is VERY cautious about revealing any of his secrets to us. Mother, Huginn, and Muninn are the only ones he confides in. Loki is a crafty one. He can usually scry everyone's secrets, but he often doesn't dare with Father."
"Sometimes, a family legacy is too important to be shared with the family," Sun Wukong says wisely.
I throw up my hands. "Could you be a little more cryptic?"
"I aim to please." Sun Wukong's black eyes sparkle with mischief. "So, your human lawyers didn't bother to inspect the place?"
"My human lawyer didn't," I say. "And my grandparents' lawyer…"
The lawyer didn't trip any red flags when I met him. He looked Persian and wore the tightest designer pants and the shiniest luxury shoes I ever saw. In his office, he displayed some ancient stone tablets from Persia and some cuneiform stuff from Babylon. He called himself Mel.
"He's a god too?" I ask.
"Mithra, the Zoroastrian god of law and justice," Thor says casually. "He probably just assumed you knew what you were inheriting."
"No. I didn't. Clearly." I try to regain my balance, mentally. "So, are you two going to play cosmic baseball in the halls on a regular basis?"
"Like we've been doing for two thousand years," Thor says.
Sun Wukong scoffs. "Don't listen to him. He doesn't know what day it is today."
"I do, too. It's always Thorsday!"
Despite myself, I chuckle at that one. "And it actually is Thursday today. Which means today is meatloaf day—"
It hits me. I've gotten completely distracted.
"Dinner!"
"That's right." Sun Wukong beams. "You were going to join me for dinner."
"No, I mean, I've got to go clean up the restaurant, or nobody is going to get any dinner!"
I race to the elevator, which seems as if it takes forever to get to the ground floor where the restaurant is. Apparently, someone must have left Hermes' winged sandals in one of the room, because I blow through the downstairs and burst, breathless, into the Celestial Café.
"Sorry, everyone! I got completely distracted. I had to make an important call. It won't happen again—"
My mouth drops open.
I see dozens of brownies tidying up the restaurant, and it looks sparkling clean, all ready for dinner. From the kitchen, I can smell the marvelous aroma of meatloaf cooking.
If I remember my mythology, brownies don't like to be seen by humans. I back out of the restaurant and let them finish their work. I listen to the dozens of tiny footsteps and the sounds of little workers cleaning up. When I no longer hear anything. I venture back into the restaurant. The regular waitstaff has replaced the temporary helpers. Good thing, too. It's just about time for dinner.
A server shows me to a table in the back, even though there are no other guests. I wait for Sun Wukong to join while I ponder the ethics of hiring brownies. How do I pay them? Is their labor off the books or are they on staff?
"You look like you're having deep thoughts."
Radiant in a rose-pink dress, Athena sinks down into the seat opposite me. The bird has, apparently, chosen to go hunt mice for dinner. Or whatever he likes to do.
"I. ah, didn't know we were having dinner."
"I decided I couldn't wait until tonight," she says. "Especially since I've already heard that you know about the enormous responsibility you've been given."
Blushing, I say, "I put the pieces together."
She beams. "I'm so happy. It means we can just relax and get to know each other." Her voice lowers intimately. "I can tell you the secrets of this place."
The way she's looking at me is playing havoc with my blood pressure.
This is a Greek goddess! I'm way out of my league.
A beautiful jade pendant drops on the table in front of me with a clatter. As I pick it up, I look up to see Sun Wukong scowling at Athena and me.
"She'll have to leave," he growls. "I'm having dinner with you."
"I claimed him first," Athena shoots back with the self-assurance of a goddess.
"Interesting," Sun Wukong spits out. "Because he said he was free."
Sensing Sun Wunkong's anger, I hold up my hands. "I said I was free for dinner. Athena, maybe we should talk after dinner."
"NO." She crosses her arms and refuses to budge. "I saw you first. And you don't want to toy with one of the Olympian Gods."
Sun Wukong spins his staff, and I hear some kind of otherworldly sound. "I dd not go through redemption just to be ignored! CHOOSE, mortal. Choose which one of us you'll dine with tonight—and you had better choose wisely."