His face as serious as Tax Day, Erlang Shen says, "In your absence …"
"We weren't gone that long," I object.
"You vanished from the djinns' room two days ago," he says.
I nearly fall over in shock and Daji looks at me with an "I told you the djinns were trouble" expression. "I wasn't planning on going there," I say defensively. "It was a test. A rite of passage for everyone in my family that becomes the boss of this place. I take it you kept everything from falling down?"
Erlang sighs. "Am I done with my penance?"
"That depends," Daji drawls. "How big of a problem do we have?"
Pausing, Erlang stands there, and I can see his mind working on a way to explain whatever disaster has happened on his watch.
"Bandits," he says finally.
My eyes widen in shock. "Bandits? What did they steal and how'd they get in?"
"They work for you, first of all. They took advantage of your first few months and your ignorance to start stealing silverware, paintings, vases, anything they could get their grubby little hands on. I don't know who they are, but I saw a faun running out of the building."
Employees robbing the hotel under my very nose. I didn't even know everything the hotel contained. Gram and Gramps had an inventory list. I run to the office and get it, then show it to Erlang.
Drumming his fingers on the desk, he studies the list and marks with an "X" the items that are missing. I lose count of the items he marks. How did I let this get past me? I feel sick.
"Suspects," I growl. "Do we have any?"
"A faun named Sunmut."
I blink. "Sunmut … that's a weird name for a faun."
But my mind whirls, and I mentally flip the word. "Tumnus! Mr. Tumnus from the Chronicles of Narnia. That's got to be a fake name."
He slaps me on the back. "And he's probably wanted."
"By whom, the Faun Police?"
He snorts. "No. Mythical creatures have law enforcement. You just haven't dealt with them. They'll be here because your grandparents complained loudly to anyone who would listen. Their eyes and ears are everywhere. No one said a word for the past three months. But now, we're getting someone's attention. the Mythical Cops will be here any moment."
"Eyes and ears … in this hotel?"
I look at the walls, trying to spy magical eyes or listening devices. Maybe the Mythical Cops use crystal balls. Maybe fairy drones. Maybe flying monkeys from Oz.
"Hey, Erlang, is Oz real?"
"Of course. Why? You think a Munchkin is involved?" He snickered.
Oz is real?
"Has Dorothy Gale ever stayed here?" I ask, looking at the guest register.
"Haven't seen her," Erlang comments. "But the Tin Woodman comes here. And the Scarecrow. And the Cowardly Lion. He's nice."
Mythical and fictional creatures staying in my resort … it boggles the mind.
I re-focus. "Okay, cutesy time is over for me. I want everything you have on Mr. Sunmut/Tumnus."
"He used to be a monk at the Temple of the Sun hidden in New York," comments Daji.
I do a double take. "I never heard of it. Sounds New Age."
Daji wrinkles her nose. "It's an ancient temple, hardly new. It's dedicated to every sun god. Apollo, Ra, Sekhmet, Hathor, Amun, Aten, Bastet, Magec the Berber god, Mawu from Dahomey … hot-blooded. Huitzilopochtli. Amaterasu. Every sun deity from every culture."
I look up Sunmut's employee file, dog-eared. He's been working here for seventy years, but he looks like one of the kids from the "Harry Potter" movies still. He's single. No ties. Originally from Corfu, Greece. Good worker with a handful of guest complaints, the most frequent one being Odin.
Odin's complaints look like a how-to-complain template for hotel guests.
"Dear James and Adelle,
This is the third time I've found Sunmut in my suite when he had no business being here. Huginn and Muninn are molting from the stress. After thousands of years, it takes a lot to make them agitated, but at this point, Sunmut's name is right up there with Ragnarok in terms of forbidden words. PLEASE kindly keep him out of my suite and my son's rooms."
"Dear James and Adelle,
Frigg insists I bring the full power of Asgard to bear on you, but I would prefer not to do that. Just please reassign Mr. Sunmut to groundskeeping or food service or waste management. ANYTHING to keep him out of trouble. Thank you, and I hate to give your inn a black eye."
This Sunmut is a problem child.
"If he's such a troublemaker, why did he choose to be a monk?" I ask. "And why did he leave? Was he kicked out? Does he still have friends there?"
Daji smirked. "I know we just got back after our little djinn jaunt, but how about we visit the Temple and do a little investigating?"
"Why? Are they some kind of sun god cult clearinghouse robbing from this inn?"
Daji strokes my arm. She knows how to do that to soothe my nerves and awaken the gooseflesh. "Your human churches have scandals. People who steal, lie, cheat …"
"I hated organized religion before this," I grouse. "And now, after hanging around actual gods, my animosity is off the charts. Good people go to those churches and temples and synagogues. But they're not the ones making the decisions."
Daji smirks. "Exactly. Let's go visit the temple and get some religion."
A loud voice sends chills down my spine.
"That will have to wait."
Daji and Erlang curse in Chinese, and we whirl to see a figure in swirling gray robes. The face is ageless and expressionless like Spock. The eyes are a solid and unnatural blue. The voice is faintly female. She flashes a shiny star, like a Wild West sheriff.
"Inspector Kryptosia, Mythical Cops. No one is going anywhere."
The front door locks shut, and a giant tent suddenly drops down over my hotel, like that scene in "E.T."
I put my hands on my hips. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Putting you all on lockdown until we get to the bottom of this stealing ring." Inspector Kryptosia glares at me. "And as of now, YOU, Mr. Van Thomas, are our prime suspect, the ringleader of this faun crime ring. Come with me to one of the conference rooms. Don't make me drag you there in shackles."
"This is OUTRAGEOUS," Daji snarls, transforming into her full fox avatar. Nine tails shoot out all over the lobby, and Daji literally looks like a wild thing.
Inspector Kryptosia would be rolling her eyes if she showed that much emotion. "Your hands are tied, Daji. Even as his mate and business partner. I suggest you not interfere, or we'll arrest you, too. We haven't forgotten the last time. You barely squeaked out of trouble. Let us do our jobs."
Aware of everyone in the inn watching, peering from the hallway, the elevator, and everywhere, I raise my hands. "Everyone comply with Inspector Kryptosia. I'm sure this will all be settled soon."