I stay perfectly still. "DAJI. Call them off."
She levers herself up to a sitting position, legs and furry blue tail dangling over the edge of the bed. "Only if you promise not to go for your silly walk when you have a warm, loving mate who wants you to be happy."
Glancing down, I wince at the black coils of the snake wrapped around my ankle like a reptilian leg warmer. "This is NOT the way to go about it. And what's with the blue fur? Aren't foxes usually red or white?"
An idiotic thing to be focusing on right now, but I'm afraid to move in case this snake is poisonous. Should I just wait for Sun Wukong to do the monkey pole-vault over this viper pool that appeared in my bedroom?
"Please tell me that tickling feeling isn't a spider crawling up my leg."
Daji flicks her hand, and the weird hairy tickling feeling, as well as the reptilian leg warmer, vanish. "I'll get rid of it IF you agree to surrender to me. Stay by my side and don't run, no matter how overwhelming your feelings seem. They're perfectly normal when you first bond with someone."
I should have my head examined.
I want to say yes to her, to surrender. To belong to her, body and soul. But I can't. Not because of some flimsy excuse about professional boundaries, but because I have the feeling she'll consume me if I let her.
"You could have told me that in the first place."
She clenches her fists, radiating hurt. "You didn't give me a chance!"
"Hard to do that when I'm trying not to get bitten by snakes in my own room."
Sun Wukong interrupts from the doorway. "Oh, Aunt Daji. No wonder you have so many problems keeping men."
Hissing, Daji whirls on the smirking macaque monkey.
Sun Wukong has gone full hairy, with an adorable, wrinkled baby face. He holds up his staff, and a glow surrounds it. "Van, my boy, walk into the snake pit."
I can't believe what I'm hearing.
"Have you lost your mind? You might be immortal, but—"
"Oh, I'm not the only one. WALK. Just trust me. Take a leap of faith."
My own personal Fear Factor. All those slippery, slick snakes moving around, and the spiders crawling. Even the smell makes me sick.
Sun Wukong smiles at me warmly. "Come on. Do you want these snakes in your room all night or not? They aren't pleasant company."
My knees tremble, and I stride towards the pit of death. Closer. Closer. Until I can see the snakes' beady little eyes.
I lift my foot and step into the viper's nest. My other foot moves to join its mate.
A hundred spider legs crawl all over me, and scaly snakes wind around me like ropes. I take a deep breath, waiting for that first bite …
Sun Wukong reaches out a furry hand. "Now, walk to me."
Deep breath. The perspiration dots my face. I take a step and extend my shaking hand out to Sun Wukong.
My hand feels comfortable, enveloped in black and brown fur, and my leg feels remarkably free of snakeskin and spiders. I glance down at my feet and see the familiar white-and-green striped carpet.
Daji applauds and runs over to hug me, her arms clasping me. "Bravo. The Amrita worked."
"The what? Oh, that weird stuff my grandmother rubbed on me. How long does it last, anyway? It's been years."
Laughing, Daji says, "It lasts forever. But you've had it in every drink and all your food since you arrived here. "
Forever?
"Are we talking about some Fountain of Youth?" I laugh.
"Very close. It's a drink that makes you immortal," Sun Wukong says.
Immortal?
"I don't believe this! My grandmother wanted me to live forever and didn't even tell me about it? And now my staff has conspired to drug me?"
I'm dying for that walk now, but I'm afraid that Daji's Burning Battery might pop up next to stop me from leaving. I grip Sun Wukong's furry hand and squeeze it like I'm trying to crush it. Can I even hurt a god?
He stands calmly, without any pain on his face. "I understand this is a lot to absorb."
"Immortal? You've made me immortal? And no one thought to tell me?"
Daji presses a kiss to my temple. "It's wonderful, isn't it?"
"Bonding me, making me a god … what next?"
Daji sighs. "You're not a god. HUMANS. You don't understand one one-hundredth about anything. Why would I make you a god?"
"Why does anybody in this wacky place do anything?"
Sun Wukong squeezes my hand, his eyes earnest. "You're immortal, not a god. There's a difference. You'll live forever, but you don't have godlike abilities—yet."
Yet?
"No more," I beg, "I'll stay here with Daji. I won't go anywhere."
I could run, but this is my apartment. Besides, I'm not going to storm out and run away like a rebellious teenager. I should. I should leave this playground of the gods and go be among regular humans.
But I can't make myself leave.
Daji gives Sun Wukong a smug smile. "Now, leave us alone. I'll take good care of him tonight. And every night."
He scrunches up his face, unimpressed. "And will he survive?"
"GO, nephew."
"Excuse me, I run this hotel," I assert.
Daji's smug smile broadens. "As your mate, this hotel belongs to me, too. From the creaky front porch step to the landing pads on the roof for the flying gods, I own this hotel. We have much work to do to keep the dream alive."
I lock eyes with Sun Wukong and see the truth in his eyes. Daji is now the co-owner and co-manager of the hotel.
"Please leave us," I request.
Bowing, clasping his hands in front of him, he scurries out of the room.
I maneuver Daji to the bed, pulling her down on the soft sheets. "So, partner, tell me more. About this immortality. About how us running the hotel together is going to work. And if you don't want me to run till I reach the Canadian or Mexican borders, tell me EVERYTHING. Including if you're planning to kill me, like you've killed your other lovers."