Chapter Sixteen: There Is A Dog In The House!!
Just to recount a few things, I was currently eating toast. Still getting used to my life in the underworld. Technology makes it much easier to navigate things.
I chomped down on my scrumptious toast as I reclined my head back on the sofa. I was in a massive living room with exotic settings. I swear I almost got lost a few times, everything was of higu quality. The walls were painted blue, the cieling white and full of spakles that glintered like stars.
The table in front of me had a glass cup and fruit juice I had set down from the fridge. It seems I live alone here, no butler, no assistant— just me and my little self.
I tapped at my phone, I didn't know what brand it was but it was a smartphone with strong network. It was a hassle getting the password from the black book, I had to figure it out on my own which wasn't that hard.
It was— DEATH.
Hehe, classic.
I went on this world's equivalent of Google which turned out to be Messenger I suppose it's a recall to the gods way of sending messages through their messangers.
I searched about the underworld online before I went to confide in the book. The underworld was not that different from what I knew but it was far more advanced, instead of being a torture ground for the souls of the dead— it was a lodging resort, hotels, spas.
It was sort of like an estate for souls, and it wasn't free. I had come to know that I was one of the richest gods in all of Olympus.
God of the Underworld my ass, Hades was A Mafia Boss running a conglomerate. At least I was rich so money would not be my problem.
The book also kept nagging me about going to work. Like signing papers, all that type of stuff. I'm a scholar not a business man let's get things clear.
All I wanted to do was lie down and enjoy my life. I lived my former life fully devoted to my work, now for some ke time.
BARF!!
"H--uh?" I pushed myself to my feet and looked around. "What the, why is there a dog in here?" This might not be the best time to mention this but I have dog phobia, if that's a real thing then I have it.
After that dog bit me when I was seven I swear if I see a dog, I would grow wings and fly— up up and away.
Shit! I just remembered, Hades had a three headed dog named Cerberus the gatekeeper of the underworld, it was a nasty piece of work so dangerous it frightened even demons. Now why the hell would Hades keep that devil indoor, shouldn't it be at the gate?
If I get bit I am so dead!
I barely reacted to the growls coming from behind me. "Shit, it outsmarted me!" I held on tight to my toast in one hand and the other, my juice. I stapled my feet on the ground and looked straight at the darkness in the hall.
GULP!
I could see a huge shadow reaching out and three pairs of bloodshot eyes beaming at me. "GRRRRRRRR!!" I started to shake violently, why are they looking at me like that.
"Damnit, did Hades forget to feed them?" Ahh!! I get it now! I have been asleep for two hundred and something years, Cerberus hasn't eaten for that long. So it's going to eat me and grind my sorry bones and use me for a tooth pick.
"BARK! BARK!"
So I did the smartest thing a god could do in that situation— I RAN!
"MOMMY!!" I threw my scrumptious breakfast at them hoping it would slow them down but they were still after me. I guess my meat was more appealing to them.
I could hear the devil rampaging through the room for me so I ran for my dear life, I ran like a speedster.
WHOOSH!!
My arms swinging wildly as I jumped into my room and slammed the door shut. "Aahhhhh!!" I started to breath heavily, but could the door hold them long enough? I looked around the room for any weapon.
Oh that's right.
"Bident! I summon you..."
POOF!
Nothing was happening...
"Bident! I said I summon you, please save me."
POOF!
Nothing again...
BANG! BANG! BANG!
The devil was already breaking down the door. I jumped up from the fright and screamed. "Nooooo! I don't want to die!! I have a world to run!"
There it was, a way out. I don't care how high my room was, I would jump out my window and let fate decide.
"Yes, I'll jump out the window!" I sprinted forward with determination as I covered the space in my room just as my door exploded off it's hinges. "Ahhhh!!"
I could hear their monstrous barks reaching me already, it was loud and HUNGRY!!
"Ahahaha!!" I laughed as I was assured I had escaped death. I leapt for the window to freedom, this was it-- WHAM!!
"EH?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! THE WINDOW IS LOCKED!!" I screamed like a mad man and tried to open it but... Alas— it was too late.
"BARK! BARK! BARK!"
I was dog food.
"Shit!"
I cursed under my breath as Cerberus pummelled me to the ground with monstrous strength. I closed my eyes and accepted my fate, this was the end.
Poor Hades was killed by a three headed dog -- no, by a devil. That's what I'll say at the grey passage.
Huh? I don't know why Cerberus was delaying my inevitably deminse but I was being licked for far too long.
"WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!"
I reopened my eyes and looked at Cerberus, I should at least see my killer before I die a second time.
"What?" I half expected to see a huge beast with three heads but what I was seeing was simply... Three cute dogs with three seperate heads.
I screamed in my head: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!