"Hold on, brothers and sisters! Hold on!"
Lucian was thrown into a foreign world, and then into a toilet. And now, he was fighting for his life as a sentient irradiated sperm—no. He was special sentient irradiated sperm wiped onto a 2-ply napkin, so as told by his precious system before it disappeared on him forever.
He wasn't just a glowing green sperm, the napkin was a part of him. At the very least, he was special.
As for his supposed brothers and sisters, well. He had been trying to talk to them since an hour ago, but none of them responded — he was the only one actually alive and could move.
And by moving, he means he could really move the entire napkin — and right now, he was swimming against the violent current of the sewers that dared obliterate him. The water that threatened to rip his napkin body apart, even more irradiated than him.
"Have these people not heard of properly disposing of their nuclear waste!?" Lucian once again screamed in his mind, as he could not yet speak, "Brothers and sisters, push. Push!"
He also once again spoke to his millions of brothers and sisters, but all of them are dead—no. As far as he knows, they also became a part of him now, along with the napkin. Still, very much like with the golden skeleton he had as a companion in his previous life, he talked to them even though they did not reply at all.
"We can do this, brothers and sisters!" Lucian roared, "We are small, but we are the greatest swimmers of creation — because we are creation! Push, fight against the wave that dares prevent us from our glorious—!!!"
And before Lucian could finish his monologue, he was struck by a large piece of feces that came out of nowhere.
"N…no…" And right there and then, Lucian felt himself falling into unconsciousness — how so when he did not even have a brain, well, he had already seen a lot of things that defy logic — it was useless to question so,
"Brothers and sisters…
…persevere."
And with those words, Lucian's world faded into black.
***
"Zeus, Zeus! The Sisters of Fate have received an oracle! Zeus!"
"What is it?"
"You…"
Somewhere in the new world that Lucian found himself reborn to, in a place completely covered and veiled with immaculate fog, lay an old, bearded muscular man on top of a bed seemingly made of clouds — and by his side were men and women, as naked and bare as he was.
And even as an old woman barged into his moment of coitus, Zeus did not even seem to care at all.
"Out, all of you out!" The old woman let out a scream that caused the bed made of clouds to shudder and slightly wither; the men and women by Zeus's side, all clamoring and crawling away as fast as possible to avoid any of the wrath falling upon them.
The only thing that Zeus could really do was grunt as he lazily sat up on the bed; releasing a breath which soon turned and joined in with the clouds.
"You interrupt me, Hera. I hope for a good reason," Zeus snapped his fingers, materializing a crown of golden leaves; he did not, however, materialize a robe to cover the rest of his body, "Do you wish me to do the same during your labors?"
"What you were doing was not a labor."
"I am spreading my seed into this world — what is that, if not my labor?" Zeus approached and stood in front of Hera, towering over him, "And so, what is it? What oracles do those sisters have for us now?"
"The mortal world."
"I have no care for the mortal world," Zeus groaned and started walking around, causing slights of lightning with each of his steps, "You bother me for this? Let the mortals have their war, we will pick on those who suffer victory. I am not—"
"Typhon."
"Why do you utter that name?" And almost instantly, Zeus's nonchalance disappeared as he looked his wife in the eyes, "Why does that name escape your lips?"
"The Sisters of Fate have told me that the rebirth of Typhon is upon us — and that it would spawn again in the world of the mortals."
"That is impossible," Zeus scoffed; the confidence in his eyes slightly wavering so, "The Sisters of Fate have been wrong before."
"Inconsequential. Far and few between."
"But they have," Zeus grunted, "I will have no more of this talk — and make sure this oracle does not reach anyone else's ears, my wife."
"You are nervous," Hera smiled, "You only call me that when you are. After all…"
Hera then started walking around Zeus before standing behind him; her fingers, trailing across his back — or rather, across the large throbbing gash adorning his back.
"The wounds he had inflicted upon you still hurts even after thousands and thousands of years," Hera's giggles echoed throughout the entire plane, "Typhon…
…The God of Calamity."
***
"Why is life?"
Lucian finds himself waking up on a pile of trash and all sorts of waste. It was dark, or at least it was supposed to be since he was deep into the sewers of wherever — but it wasn't. Aside from the green glow being emitted by the gooey napkin that is his body, some of the trash was also emitting a certain glow.
Lucian could move, but what for? Perhaps this is where he belonged, in a pile of irradiated and contaminated nuclear trash… very much like his existence.
But alas, for some reason, he found himself filled with the energy to move. No—he knew the reason why.
He was getting stronger just by being in the presence of the irradiated trash. How did he even get to this point? He would rather be back in the mountain of books in his past life than this — there was no difference, he was still alone.
"Ugh…"
Lucian then started moving; like a slug as he crawled down from his glorious mountain. He then turned around to look at the mountain… and for some reason…
…he felt proud.
"...I suppose this is my home now," Lucian's gooey napkin of a body started to wriggle, "My…
…new kingdom. My—"
"Chii!!!"
And before Lucian could even begin his monologue, he heard a loud squeak coming from behind. He quickly turned around, only to see a pair of red eyes staring at him.
It was a large rat, perhaps the size of an entire average human arm. But most importantly…
…it was standing upright with its two legs, and its body was sculpted like that of a bodybuilder.
"Chii!" The rat then pointed at him while baring its fangs. And with his violent screech as its only warning, it started running toward Lucian.
"Fine…" Lucian, however, even only as a sentient sperm with no way to protect himself at all, did not crawl away and instead stayed there all gallantly,
"You think I will cower from this sudden challenge? Come, Rodent…
…I will protect my kingdom from those who covet it!"