Prologue
All the scientists and researchers of bacteria and fossils sat at the table and played poker. It was a special day, a day of celebration; it was Friday. They would gather at the base in Arizona to gamble and drink.
James Hetfield is the head of the operation. He's a tall man with a short, razor-sharp brown beard and nicely washed, slicked-back brown hair. He always has a face of seriousness; his idol is Steve McQueen.
Quentin Quibble adores performing experiments in bathtubs but despises winters since he has to wear shoes. Luckily, in Arizona, he is able to walk barefoot. He's an average-height man and overweight; he has a thick black beard and a pale face as pale as a ghost.
Dr. Barnaby, fresh out of college, is a paleontologist who sleeps in a dinosaur-shaped sleeping bag and insists on naming all of his fossil discoveries based on his favorite rock stars.
Penelope speaks with her parrot in a made-up language. Known as a wildcard even without her crazy electrifying blonde hair, enormous glasses, too much red lipstick, and the habit of sticking her tongue out to 'feel the room,' she is definetly a wildcard. She collects seashells and is convinced they hold the secret of the universe.
Breadshaw likes to smoke.
Finian, the shortest with dull blonde hair, only joins the group to do experiments in the lab. He is overqualified for his job but is stuck due to being a communist; he nearly got blacklisted out of the field if it weren't for some colleagues vouching for him—none of whom are in this room, though.
The phone rang.
No one attempted to get up. "The phone is ringing," said Finian. "Let them wait," said James as he smoked his cigarette. He showed his cards: three kings. Everyone else cursed but remained quiet as Penelope showed four aces. James looked at it, expressionless yet wanting to break necks. He slowly stood up, pulled the chair forward to the table, walked to the phone, picked it up, and answered, "Who's being a pain in the ass on the other line?"
"Oh God, oh God, help! Please help!"
James looked at the others; they were accusing Penelope of cheating while she said she'd put tarantulas on their faces while they slept. Finian was doing research on his microscope. James hunched down and spoke in a soft voice, "Yes? You there?"
"Oh God, please, please, you gotta help!"
"Just try to be calm. What is going on?"
"You're the closest! Oh God, the village of New Fort."
"Yes?"
"The people… th-they… they're dead."
"...dead?"
The voice spoke eerily and quietly. "Something weird is going on. Please help us; you're the nearest researchers to us, please help!" The line broke off. James held the phone for a few seconds before placing it down.
"Who was it?" asked Quentin.
"Eh, Finian, I'm gonna need your assistance."
Chapter 1
James and Finian boarded a helicopter and were flown to the village. "So what do we know?" asked Finian.
"It's freaky," said the pilot. "All the lights went off around 4 AM, and even at 11 it was dead silent. Someone came over to check and said... they just found people laying."
James and Finian looked at each other. "Water poisoning? Water is notoriously bad around here," said James.
"No, people don't drop that easily because of bad water."
The helicopter landed just 50 meters away from the village. James and Finian wore heavy suits to protect them from any outside forces. They looked like astronauts. They began walking slowly into the village. They saw its name, New Fort, being painted white on a piece of wood stacked up to the sky.
Upon entering, they saw that the place was in remarkable condition; everything was looking fine. There was no dust, no damage, and no dirty roads. There was a school, a post office, many houses almost glued to each other, many cars, a few buses, bicycles—everything looked clean and lively. The only thing missing was the people.
It wouldn't take much walking before they saw the first body. A few meters away from it, there was another, and another—a total of 20 bodies lay as far as the eye could see, and there were many more out of sight. The two walked slowly towards the body, taking careful steps, not letting their eyes off the corpse. The body was a man wearing all white. Once they were almost on the body, they just looked at it.
The man looked normal except he wasn't breathing. James and Finian looked at each other, nodded, and James knelt down, gently grabbed the man's shoulder, and began to move him. The body was light. James moved it easily. They saw the face of the man. It was covered in sand but looked normal. The eyes were normal, the skin—everything.
Finian took a scalpel and grabbed the man's wrist; he struck a line through the wrist, and blood came. Except there was hardly any blood, and there was no liquid at all. In place of blood was a red powder. The inside of the skin looked decayed, as if it was in the final stage of decomposition. The bones felt almost like strong gum; they were so easy to bend.
James said, "For God's sake, Finian, what the hell is going on?"
"I... I believe... we are dealing with an alien virus."
"Finian... we shouldn't jump to such conclusions so quickly."
"Yeah, I know; we're um... we're gonna need some specimens."
James pointed to the man. "Should I carry him?"
Finian thought for a moment. "No... let's search some more; ideally, a middle-aged person and a young child of twelve would be needed."
They got up and began searching the houses individually. In one of the houses, James found a family of three all lying on the floor of the living room. They were near each other, their heads almost touching. They all had an arm on their chest.
Finian entered a house on the opposite side and kept being perplexed at how every house was so clean, how there was no lethal bacteria to be detected or any material or in the air. As he entered a room, he found a dead boy next to his dog in bed.
James was carrying a dead man on his shoulders, and Finian went out of the house, almost in tears while holding the boy and the dog.
Chapter 2
James called in the base. Breadshaw had the music turned on, playing jazz, and the TV turned to maximum, showing a political debate. He was playing cards with the rest of the group. After two calls and twenty rings, Quentin finally realized the phone was ringing.
Breadshaw went to answer it, turning off the TV and music. He said, "We've got a problem."
James and Finian carried the bodies to the testing lab and closed the door. As they got out of their suits, they were greeted by the rest of the researchers who carried guns. "What the hell is going on!?" yelled Finian.
"It's a damn emergency, and we came prepared!" said Breadshaw.
"With freaking guns? Guys, we're dealing with a virus!"
Quentin screamed and fired his Uzi. The fridge had been turned on.
"Okay, okay, put those things down!" said Finian.
"Why the hell should we trust you?" said Breadshaw. "You're a communist!"
"I was only labeled that because I went to work wearing a red tie! God, I'm so glad that McCarthy is dead."
"Wait, wait... you said virus?" said Barnaby as he looked over to the lifeless bodies. He started to shake and couldn't swallow. "I'm not qualified to deal with viruses! Oh God!"
"Relax, we don't even know what exactly it is," said James.
"Humanity is extinct! AHHHHHH!"
Quentin went to James. "We have to do something here."
James raised his hand. "Relax, I'll handle it."
He went to Barnaby. "Let's all calm down and have some coffee."
"Coffee? There's a virus!"
"We've dealt with this kind of situation many times."
"I haven't."
"Well, you came here literally yesterday, but we have dealt with this before. This is the third time, in fact."
Everyone else looked at him.
Barnaby sat down, trying to be calm. Penelope said, "The seashells told me last night of a virus."
"Will you please shut up?" said Finian.
James began to make coffee; he took sleeping pills and began opening them. But they wouldn't budge. He struggled to get them opened. Then he heard a pop. It opened, and ten pills went into the coffee. James shrugged and gave the coffee to Barnaby. Barnaby went to sleep in a minute. He was carried by james to the sleeping room and he tucked he warmly and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
"Okay, so what are we dealing with?" said James.
"It's weird," said Finian. "This virus shows no Earth signs at all; it lacks DNA, RNA, proteins, and amino acids found in terrestrial life."
"Still, it can't be an alien virus. How would it even get here?"
"It could hitch a ride on an asteroid," said Penelope.
"Yes, but it would be incinerated before it even hits the ground," said James. "Even if it didn't, it would still perish. Viruses are built to do specific things; human beings are only affected by 1 percent of diseases. So why would this virus, which faces a completely unknown environment, be capable of doing anything?"
Finian said, "There's a lot we don't know. There are many events in space that flip our known science on its head."
James continued. "I think this is a virus that escaped from a lab."
"Or maybe from another country?" said Quentin.
"Faggot chinks, faggot japs!" said Breadshaw.
Finian rubbed his forehead. "An entire sentence of nothing but slurs."
They went quiet as they heard a monstrously strong sound, as if something mighty was smashing steel. As they turned, they saw the steel stretches where the bodies lay being smashed and bent further and further; the virus was eating the steel.
Panic stricken Finian pressed the alarm button, and steel doors came down, enclosing the entire base. They were trapped.
Chapter 3
"Oh shit, oh shit!" yelled Quintin.
"Relax," said James.
"What is that thing doing?"
"It's a weird virus... and we have to deal with it," said Finian.
"Deal with it?" said Quintin. "Why can't we let someone else deal with it, like those rich cocksuckers?"
"We can phone them and say, 'Hey, you wanna be the first to test an alien virus?'" James chuckled.
"Let's be serious, guys," said Finian as he looked over to the room. "It stopped. What we have to do is expose the virus to Earth chemicals."
"Will that work, though?" asked Penelope.
"It has to; the virus hasn't been exposed to every chemical on Earth, but... first we have to run live test subjects to determine how exactly the virus functions."
"We have rats and a small monkey," said Quintin.
"Excellent." Finian stopped as he looked down on Quintin. "And you can't go in barefoot anymore."
Quintin cursed to himself.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Breadshaw blocked the door. "Who gives a shit about monkeys and rats? We need live human specimens; that way we'll know for sure!"
"So you're volunteering?" said James.
Breadshaw moved away.
They went into the other lab, and there were, in small cages, rats and a monkey. Finian began operating and pressing buttons. Two machines emerged; they were both silver and long, with black pincers at the end. They moved slowly and grabbed one of the cages where there was a white rat with red eyes. The pincers moved the rat to the table. Then a second pair of white machines that had a needle at the end took a sample of the virus.
The first pincers began opening the cage but malfunctioned.
Finian kept restarting the system, but the arms wouldn't budge. There was a mechanical failure inside the pincers. "Shit, what now?" said Quintin.
"Somebody is gonna need to go in," said Finian.
Penelope looked at James and smirked. "Why don't you go in, big boy?"
"So I have to do four jobs while you scratch your pussy?"
"Guys, can we not fight? Okay, this is just a small sample of the virus; it isn't deadly," said Finian.
They stood there staring at each other before Penelope said, Fuck it, and put on the heavy suit just to be on the safe side and went in.
As soon as she opened the door, Breadshaw yelled and fired an AK-47 into the room. Quintin grabbed the gun and pulled him in. Penelope ran and opened the cage, got back in, and shut the door.
Finian tried his best to ignore the madness of Breadshaw and proceeded with the experiment. The needle injected the rat. The animal started thrashing around before, in mere seconds, it collapsed, lifeless. The results came into the computer; it responded with a small beep.
"IT'S EVIL!"
Breadshaw pointed his gun, but Quintin grabbed it in time.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Finian yelled so hard it took him a few seconds to breathe normally. "How did you ever even get this job? You're living proof that experience and age don't mean shit!" Finian pointed at James. "You're supposed to be the leader here; why aren't you doing anything?"
"What am I supposed to do? Laugh? Cry? Be angry?"
Finian turned back to Breadshaw. Quintin had successfully managed to take his gun away. "I'll be asking for your resignation. We're all witnesses; you're too volatile to be in a research base camp," said Finian.
Breadshaw yelled, "We're wasting time, dammit! You can't accurately get real results without actual human experimentation!"
"Is this a confession I hear?" said James.
Breadshaw cursed and walked out of the room; Penelope followed him.
"Where is she going?" said Quintin.
"To give him a blowjob," said James. "You know what they say: if you lack in brain size, you make up for it in cock size."
The three went to the computer and analyzed the results. Finian said, "It attacks the lungs, then quickly spreads through the host, consuming almost everything from the inside."
"Gnarly," said James.
"Okay... okay, I think with this, I have ways of counterattacking the virus."
"But wait," said Quintin. "It needs a name."
"Really?" said James. "Here it is, eating fucking metal, and you're worried about a name? How about the lovechild of astrobastards and space fuckernuts?"
"Or the red mist?"
Finian said, "Let's just give it a proto name and get to work." Finian typed on his computer and said, "Codename Andromeda."
Chapter 4
Several techniques were tried to stop the virus. Viruses are sensitive to high temperatures, but this was ineffective. Next, they attempted ultraviolet light, then chemical disinfectants such as bleach, alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, and finally they used drying, none proved to be useful.
They saw the virus up close from the computer. It was a almost crystal blue color, earily beautiful looking.
"Is it now time to call someone else?" said Quentin as he uncomfortably walked in shoes.
"No, we can't. Besides, it will take them a full day to get here; we don't have time," said Finian.
"Uh... guys," James motioned to them. The two slowly walked towards him and saw what he was looking at. The virus began to devour the entire room, all the metal, the concrete; it broke through and was heading outside.
Breadshaw lit a cigar and sat behind a desk. Penelope was seated in a chair and was behind Patsy Fagan, an elderly man who was the chief advisor of the building. He came in with a panicking call, and as soon as Breadshaw heard him, he smiled and waved him over.
"Breadshaw, listen, this is serious! I have to get to the emergency room."
"Oh, what's the hurry?"
"Please, we... I... there's a situation, alright? I really need to get to it."
"We have a situation too," said Penelope.
"You shut up," Breadshaw pointed; Patsy looked at her, then at him. "Situation? What... what situation do you have? What is going on?"
"You have nothing to worry about," Breadshaw snapped his fingers. Penelope handcuffed Patsy and connected the other handcuff to a pole and began dragging him. "Come here!"
"What is the meaning of this?" Penelope dragged him viciously, but Patsy fought back, using all his strength to escape her grip. Losing patience, she pulled out a gun. Patsy was mortified; Penelope easily dragged him.
Breadshaw was behind, following, smoking a cigar.
"What are you doing for Jesus' sake?"
"You know," Breadshaw smoked calmly, "we have a lethal virus."
"A-a what is that? Did that trigger the alarm? I-I thought it was by mistake,an accident."
"Oh no, no mistake. Hell, your top boy, that Finian with a violin."
"What are you talking about, man? What do you want? What the hell is going on? What virus?"
"You're going to be exposed to the lethal virus, dumbass."
"Dear Lord, have you gone completely insane!?"
"You cost me a Nobel prize a few years ago."
"You weren't even nominated."
"Precisely."
Patsy began crying. "I don't hold that power." He then looked at Penelope. "Why are you doing this?"
"Only because I want to," she winked.
Patsy screamed.
Finian, Quentin, and James saw them as they ran. "What the hell are you doing now!?" yelled Finian.
James stepped in and pulled Patsy away from them, Patsy who was yelling, "Oh God, why did you pull the alarm!?"
"Hey, hey, calm yourself, sir. How did you get here so fast?" said Quentin.
Patsy, crying, said, "People, listen... when you press the alarm, it activates a nuclear bomb."
"What!?" everyone exclaimed.
"Why the hell did you install that?" asked James.
"I never knew it would come to this.I did as a joke when I lost a bet to a janitor."
"Wait," said Quentin, "maybe this is good; if we escape, the nuke will destroy the virus."
"No," said Finian. "The virus... it feeds on those chemicals. If the bomb goes off, it will create a super colony; half the globe would be covered in it after only an hour."
Chapter 5
Patsy was crying and unresponsive to everyone. The virus was eating its way out of the base, and there were only three minutes left before the nuke went off. Finian knlet to him. "Patsy, please just pull yourself together for a moment. We need to know where the deactivation button is, alright?" Patsy, shaking barely, muttered the words "in the basement."
"I know where it is, I'll go," said Breadshaw.
"Well now I'm certain that we're all gonna die," said James.
"Wait, we need to think of this rationally—" Breadshaw had already gone in. "Goddamn that man!"
Penelope began collecting all her seashells. James took the secret bottle of wine, which he planned to drink after he turned 100, but now was as good a time as any. Quentin took off his shoes and walked barefoot, feeling the concrete one last time. Everyone forgot about Barnaby, and Finian was trying to contact Breadshaw through the walkie-talkie. The virus was almost through the roof.
Breadshaw was going left, right, left, right in the dark basement. Finally, he realized he had the walkie-talkie on. "Yeah?"
"Listen, once you get there, I'll tell you the code," Finian said.
Breadshaw easily reached the room, which was soaked in red. Finian went to Patsy. "What is the code?" Patsy shivered and barely spat out, "There is none."
Everyone felt sick.
"What are you talking about, Patsy? There must be a code!" said Finian.
"There is, but... it will take 28 minutes and 30 seconds to type it in."
"We have less than a minute!"
"Why is the code so goddamn long?" said James.
"The bet with the janito—"
"Fuck off."
Finian placed his hands on Patsy's shoulders. "There has to be another way." Patsy nodded, barely swallowing some of his saliva drooling down his chin. He shivered even more before saying, "A high-rank employee has to scan both of their palms."
Finian informed Breadshaw. Breadshaw placed his palms on the scanning device before a horrific sound screeched in his ears.
"What is that?" said Finian.
Patsy looked at them. "I forgot I installed that."
"Dear Lord, we have 10 seconds!" yelled Quentin.
Breadshaw was on the ground covering his ears. He looked up and saw the blinking red, rapidly blinking. It became a blur in his eyes. He let go of his hands; his ears nearly exploded, the screeching was relentless. He barely stood up and placed his hands on the scanning device. The pain in his ears was so great he was about to faint. He couldn't hold it much longer he collapsed to the ground. He looked up, everything was a greater blur, he thought it was all over, his hands were on the device only for a second.
The device responded. It had accepted it; the nuke was disarmed in 2 seconds to spare.
Barnaby walked in. "My shoulders and neck hurt."
Epilogue
"The virus codenamed the Andromeda Strain became airborne and afterwards descended into the oxygen, the ozone layer where it remains now," said one of the committee members in the center.
On their high table down below was Finian, who said, "The virus was of extraterrestrial origin and had found Earth...suitable and desirable; however, it needed to determine which aspect of Earth it preferred the most. That was the oxygen levels of the ozone layer. The Andromeda virus is...harmless, more or less. A human would die if it came into contact, but no person can survive that high up without a protective suit, so we are fine now."
"If an alien virus attacked now, can we defend ourselves from it?"
"Can we? The virus landed in a remote village that was isolated. If the virus had landed in a densely populated area, there is no telling what would have happened. This time, we got lucky."