"Did you know that humans produce about 1 to 1.5 liters of saliva each day? That's enough saliva in a lifetime to fill two swimming pools! I mean, isn't that, like, AMAZING? We're like living, walking pools—two ginormous swimming pools. Not that 'ginormous' is a word. It's just… ginormously amazing."
The poor lady who had the unfortunate task of being on site when they let me loose nodded vigorously, darting quick glances around. She was probably searching for the nearest exit, away from me.
Too bad. I didn't ask them for the coffee.
"And did you also know that your fingernails grow about 3.5 millimeters a month?" I held out my long, untended nails. "I might beat that record, though, because my nails grow like 2 inches long every second."
This time, the lady had a scared, earth-shaken look. She leaned away from me.
"I'm here to see my daughter."
"Of course. Since that wouldn't be me, I'll just stop talking and let you be." I stood up and walked around, too bored and too caffeinated to stay still while the lady made her way down to safety. I looked around, and something caught my eye.
Hats.
Yeah, it's silly. AND crazy, considering the fact that standing close to those very same things got me into serious runway trouble. So let's just say, this time I was going for payback.
I grabbed a fedora and pulled at its feathers.
"That hurts, doesn't it?" I whispered, knowing I looked and sounded crazy, but who cares? I was the only one there after all (that's a way of telling you that the terrified lady had moved down the hall and far away from my madness). "Your friends at the bazaar made me trip! At Justin Hayes' magnificent feet. Could you believe it?" I held my hands up to its imaginary face, shushing it. "No, no, no. You can't explain. You won't explain. You're a distant cousin, after all, so you'll take the blame." I yelled one of Dad's silly karate cries, as he likes to call them, and landed punches on its face.
Yeah, I'm REALLY weird when I take coffee.
That's another thing to add to my list of 'Things Daisy Thompson Should NEVER Touch.' Right after hats, of course.
"The hats aren't real, you know," someone said from behind. I froze. I was supposed to be the only one in the hall. Now there was someone else.
Someone who'd been watching me punch hats?
Oh, Daisy! You're SO staying away from coffee now.
And hats too!
I spun around with my eyes shut and an apology on my lips. But when I opened them, it was none other than Justin.
Staring and smiling at me.
Oh, cookie crumbles!