I opened my eyes slowly, senses returning one by one. Soft sunlight filtered through the blinds, landing in stripes across the floor. The futon beneath me was warm, almost unbearably so. As I became more aware, I realized the source of the intense heat was pressed against my left side.
Blonde hair tickled my nose. Marin. She was curled into me, one arm slung over my chest and a leg hooked around my calf.
My heart stuttered in my chest as I fully comprehended our intimate positioning. This was not at all how we had fallen asleep last night. Marin must have migrated across the futon in her sleep, seeking warmth like a flower chasing the sun.
Now her head rested in the crook of my shoulder, breath ghosting across my neck in a steady rhythm. I froze, afraid to move and wake her. The pressure of Marin's body was wreaking havoc on my teenage hormones, despite my attempts to control my physiological reaction.
As carefully as possible, I tried to shift away and detach myself from Marin's octopus-like grip. She made a small sound of protest and clung tighter, nuzzling into me.
"Stay," she mumbled, still more asleep than awake.
I suppressed a groan. This was not good.
"Marin," I said quietly. When she didn't stir, I tried again a bit louder. "Marin. Time to get up."
"Mm, five more minutes," she protested sleepily. To my dismay, Marin decided the best way to get those five minutes was to sling her leg fully over my hips and press even closer.
I sucked in a sharp breath, willing my body to behave through sheer force of will. Think unsexy thoughts, I told myself desperately. Hidetora in a speedo. Walking in on the old landlady in the bathhouse...
It was no use. I was fighting a losing battle against biology and proximity. As subtly as possible, I took Marin's shoulder and tried to ease some distance between us.
"Come on, let's get some breakfast," I coaxed.
Marin finally relinquished her hold with a dramatic sigh. She sat up, hair adorably mussed and eyes still heavy. I used the opportunity to slide out of the futon and make a beeline for the bathroom.
"Give me a minute," I called over my shoulder, shutting the door quickly behind me. I splashed cold water on my face, willing my traitorous body to behave.
Get it together, Akira. This wide-eyed girl trusts you completely. Don't betray that trust for a moment of foolish weakness.
I took a few deep breaths until I felt in control again. When I emerged, Marin was sitting at my tiny table, scrolling on her phone. If she noticed anything amiss, she didn't let on.
"I'm starving!" she announced brightly. "What do you have for breakfast?"
I rummaged through my near-empty cupboards. "Looks like instant ramen or toast."
Marin made a face. "How about we go out? My treat for taking me in two nights in a row."
The offer was tempting, but I hesitated. I needed to rebuild the walls Marin had so innocently slipped past in her sleep.
"You don't have to do that," I said. "I can make us something here."
"But I want to!" Marin insisted. "Come on, it'll be fun. We can go to this cafe I love in Harajuku."
She gazed up at me with those wide pink eyes, lower lip jutting out. I felt my resolve wavering under the assault of weaponized cuteness.
"Well...alright," I conceded reluctantly.
Marin cheered, bouncing to her feet. "Yay! Get dressed and let's go."
I sighed inwardly. So much for rebuilding my defenses. This ray of sunshine seemed determined to slip past every barrier I tried to erect.
But perhaps, traitorous voice whispered, I didn't really want the walls at all.
Marin skipped ahead of me down the busy Harajuku street, blonde and pink hair bouncing with each step. She pointed excitedly at shop displays, chattering about this dress or that accessory that would be perfect for her next cosplay.
We reached the cafe, aptly named Rainbow Dream Land. The interior was just as colorful as the name suggested, with pastel walls and furniture in bright pops of turquoise, violet, and sunshine yellow. Marin inhaled deeply.
"Mmm, smell that? Their crepes are to die for."
We ordered an assortment of crepes and parfaits smothered in fruit, whipped cream, and enough rainbow sprinkles to induce a sugar coma. As we ate, Marin kept up a steady stream of bubbly conversation, while I responded with occasional "mhm's" and "oh really's."
Truthfully, I was only half listening as I observed Marin over my strawberry crepe. She seemed so open and unguarded, chattering about whatever popped into her head. No dark shadows lurked behind those eyes, no hidden agendas in that sunny smile. Just genuine enthusiasm for all the world had to offer.
I wondered what it must be like, to live so fully in each moment. To embrace life fearlessly, unburdened by past sorrows or future uncertainties. Was I even capable of that, with my jagged history casting shadows everywhere I went?
"Earth to Akira!" Marin was waving her hand in front of my face. "You spaced out on me."
"Oh, sorry," I said. "Guess I'm still waking up."
"If you keep letting me crash at your place, we should get me some clothes so I'm not stuck borrowing your hoodies." She laughed. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I like wearing your clothes, they're comfy! But a girl needs options."
I rubbed the back of my neck, chuckling. "Yeah, might be a good idea. I don't have a lot of storage space though."
"No problem, I'll just bring a bag when I come over," Marin said matter-of-factly, as if it was already decided she'd be spending many more nights at my apartment.
I started to protest, but she barreled on, pointing to the crepe case. "Ooh, want to split the matcha one? I'm still hungry!"
I shook my head in bemusement and waved the server over for another crepe. Marin's brightness was like the sun - impossible to look at directly, but casting warmth everywhere.
Maybe I couldn't live as fully and freely as her. My past would always lurk in my shadow. But bathed in her light, just for these moments, I could pretend.
After we finished eating, Marin grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the cafe, eager to explore Harajuku's famous Takeshita Street. The narrow pedestrian alley overflowed with a riot of fashion trends. Gothic Lolitas in ruffled dresses stood beside punks with safety pins in their faces. Schoolgirls ogled the latest pop idol merchandise while tourists snapped photos of the chaos.
Marin flitted from window to window, ooh-ing and aah-ing over frilly dresses and platform shoes. I trailed behind, taking it all in.
Marin grabbed my hand and pulled me into a thrift store, her eyes lighting up at the rows of eccentric clothes. She immediately started flipping through racks, holding up items against me and giggling.
"Here, try this!" She tossed me a loud Hawaiian shirt covered in purple flowers. I raised an eyebrow but obliged, slipping it on over my t-shirt. Marin clasped her hands with delight.
"Perfect! Now you just need some beach shorts."
I couldn't help but chuckle as Marin scurried around, assembling the most garish outfit imaginable. She shoved me into a changing room with an armful of clothes and shut the curtain.
Shaking my head, I changed into the Hawaiian shirt, floral swim trunks, and a wide-brimmed straw hat. I stepped out and Marin burst into laughter.
"You look like you're ready for a luau!"
"I feel ridiculous," I said, but couldn't stop grinning. Marin's enthusiasm was infectious.
"Just one more thing." She stepped close and carefully situated the hat on my head, fussing with the angle. Her fingers grazed my cheek and I froze. Marin didn't seem to notice, stepping back to admire her handiwork.
"Perfect!"
Now it was Marin's turn. She disappeared into the changing room with an armload of clothes.
"No peeking!" she called out.
"Wouldn't dream of it," I said wryly.
Marin emerged wearing a frilly pink dress and struck a dramatic pose. Next came ripped jeans with a studded jacket. Then a slinky back cocktail dress that made me quickly avert my eyes.
Each time Marin modeled a new outfit, she hammed it up, trying to get a reaction out of me. I kept my face carefully neutral, not wanting to encourage her.
"Alright, last one! Get ready for it..."
I was not ready. Marin stepped out in a skimpy black bikini with yellow flowers. The tiny top barely contained her ample curves. I swallowed hard, willing my eyes to stay glued to her face.
Marin sashayed toward me, emboldened by my obvious flustered state.
"What do you think?" she asked coyly, doing a slow turn.
I slowly looked her up and down, then met her eyes. "Cute. But this suits you better."
I stepped close and situated the bucket hat on her head, adjusting it the way she had mine. Marin's cheeks turned pink. She mumbled a thank you, suddenly unable to meet my gaze.
Point for me, I thought smugly.
We changed back into our normal clothes and I purchased Marin's bucket hat as a gift. As we left the shop, Marin shyly took my hand. We walked slowly down the street, neither speaking, simply enjoying the simple connection.
The sun was sinking low as we left Harajuku, hands still entwined. Marin would have to go home soon, back to school and her regular life. But today had been a bright spot of light amidst my shadowed existence.
At the train station, Marin popped the bucket hat onto my head. "A little memento so you don't forget our adventure."
I smiled back at her. "Like I could ever forget you."
As I watched her leave, I realized I'd gotten used to her company. The long, empty hours in my apartment would feel that much emptier without her laughter to fill them.
But I shouldn't get attached. Her light didn't belong in my shadows.