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Vampire Rule #15: If you're technically perpetually underage due to an untimely demise, just remember—age is nothing but a number. Unfortunately, so is a prison sentence.
… … … … … … … … …
John Harker leaned back in the creaky wooden chair of his crackhouse domicile, the faint sound of dripping water and distant sirens filtering through the boarded-up windows, just to remind that he was in Gotham and that it sucked heavily.
No matter how many times he tried to clean it, the place still stank of mold, stale cigarettes, and the lingering despair of the previous inhabitants.
A perfume everyone in Brideshead learned to ignore, but was becoming increasingly inconvenient.
He was growing tired of the cracked floor, the peeling wallpaper, and, more importantly, the inability to bring his snacks home.
There was something darkly amusing about the fact that, in the eyes of the law, his meals were pedophiles. The irony wasn't lost on him, and he often chuckled at the thought, but he knew he needed to get out of this place.
Sooner rather than later.
The problem was his age—or at least, what his ID said about it. Being technically underage meant he couldn't just walk into a rental office and sign a lease on a nice apartment in a better part of Gotham. No, he'd have to do things the hard way, the legal way; get emancipated, make himself a legal adult, and then find a place that wasn't crawling with junkies.
That's how John found himself in the dingy office of Vinny DeLuca, a sleazy lawyer recommended by one of the guys from the Narcotics Anonymous meetings he'd been frequenting. Vinny was the kind of guy who wore cheap suits that were always a size too small, with hair slicked back so far it looked like an oil spill. He had a reputation for getting things done, no questions asked, as long as the price was right.
He also had a reputation for being a loyal customer in the local burlesque bars, but that was neither he nor there.
"Alright, kid, here's the deal," Vinny said, sliding a stack of papers across his cluttered desk. "You sign here, here, and here, and we'll get you emancipated. You'll be your own man, free to do whatever the hell you want."
John picked up the pen, giving it a casual twirl between his fingers before scrawling his name across the dotted lines. "That's it? I thought there'd be more to it."
Vinny smirked, leaning back in his chair. "Well, we do need your parents' signatures too. Y'know, just a formality."
John raised an eyebrow.
"Parents, huh? That might be tricky, seeing as how they're... unavailable."
Well, his mother is unavailable, his father is too busy not knowing he exists to help sign him off.
"No problem, no problem. You just sign their names too. No one's gonna check. Besides, you've got that honest face. Who's gonna doubt you?" Vinny said, waving a hand dismissively.
"Honest face," John repeated with a smirk. "Yeah, sure. Hand it over."
He quickly forged the signatures, which was probably a crime now that he thought about it, fortunately batman didn't burst from the window to break his neck in the name of justice however.
It was almost too easy. Vinny, clearly pleased with the incoming paycheck, grinned as he took the papers back.
"Great! My brother's a notary. He'll stamp these and get everything squared away. Expedited, of course, for a little extra…" The man said with a wink, and that ladies and gentlemen, was why Gotham's bureaucracy was an utter mess.
Partly at least.
"Of course," John said, already planning his next move.
Within a few days, John had the emancipation papers in hand, officially recognized as an adult by the state of New Jersey. It was almost laughable how simple it had been...just a few strokes of a pen and a greasy handshake, and he was free to make bigger moves.
The next step was finding a new place to live. He wasn't going to settle for anything less than perfect, so he set up an appointment with a local realtor. The woman, in her early thirties, with a blonde bob and an overenthusiastic smile, met him outside a swanky apartment building in the better part of town.
Yes, swanky is a real word.
"Mr. Harker, I'm Susan Monroe, but just call me Susan. It's such a pleasure to meet you! I've got a few properties lined up that I think you're going to love," she chirped, her heels clicking on the pavement as they approached the entrance.
I'm sure you've picked out the best for me, Susan. Lead the way." John flashed her a charming smile, his eyes scanning the area for any signs of prying eyes.
'I'm feeling a bit peckish' He thought, and the vampire system agreed with him.
[Blood Points: 680/800]
As they toured the apartments, John was careful to choose his words, asking about things like natural light and room sizes, but what he was really interested in was the isolation of the master bedrooms.
He needed a place where he could sleep during the day without worrying about a stray beam sneaking in through a poorly positioned window.
Sunlight is the enemy.
"This one's a real gem," Susan said as they entered the final apartment. "Top floor, no neighbours on either side, and the master bedroom is tucked away in the back—nice and private."
"Private, huh?" John mused, stepping into the master bedroom. It was perfect—no windows facing the east, thick curtains already installed, and plenty of space. "I think this might be the one."
Susan smiled, clearly pleased with herself. "I knew you'd like it! Shall we head back to the office to go over the paperwork?"
John turned to face her, his smile widening as he let a bit of his natural charm, enhanced by his vampiric presence, seep into his voice.
"Actually, Susan, I was thinking we could take a moment right here to celebrate finding the perfect place. You've been such a big help." He said, looking forward to the next part.
"Well, I suppose we could... I mean, it's been a long day, and we could use a break." Susan hesitated for just a second, her professional demeanour wavering under the intensity of his gaze.
"Exactly," John said smoothly, stepping closer. "Why don't we take a seat? You've worked hard for this commission, and you deserve a little reward."
She blushed slightly, flattered by his attention and unable to resist the pull of his presence. They sat down on the bed, the atmosphere shifting from businesslike to something more intimate.
John kept the conversation light, charming her with his wit and only using his power to go the extra mile, mind control just for a pleasant snack wasn't a good look after all.
Susan found herself laughing more than she expected, her usual caution slipping away. It wasn't long before she was leaning closer to him, her hand brushing against his.
John took that as his cue, gently tilting her chin up to meet his gaze. "You've really outdone yourself, Susan. I can't thank you enough for finding this place."
The words were soft, but the meaning behind them was clear. Susan felt her heart race as she looked into his eyes, feeling a connection that she couldn't quite explain.
In other words, she was overcome by the horni, and needed an urgent boink lest she does something foolish.
"You're welcome, John," she whispered, barely aware of her own voice.
He leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to her lips, giving her time to pull away if she wanted. But she didn't. She leaned into the kiss, her fingers curling into his shirt as she let herself get lost in the moment.
Yes, something foolish indeed.
As the kiss deepened, John's fangs gently grazed her lip, just enough to draw a tiny drop of blood. She gasped, but he soothed her with a soft murmur, his voice like velvet. "Just relax, Susan. I'll take care of you."
Even this much was enough to bring great pleasure the one bitten, perhaps greater than vampire's own satisfaction, yet another reason not to bite a man unless he could find a new way to absorb their blood.
Some kind of blood manipulation...
Susan nodded, completely under his spell as he moved to her neck, kissing her skin before sinking his fangs in, carefully and gently. The bite was painless, almost euphoric, and Susan melted into his embrace as he fed, taking only what he needed.
When he pulled back, Susan was left dazed but blissful, the bite already healing. John smiled at her, brushing a strand of hair from her face.
"You've been amazing, Susan. Thank you." He said sincerely.
Anything for you, John. I... I'm glad you're happy." She blinked up at him, her mind foggy but content.
"I am," he assured her, helping her to her feet. "Now, let's get that paperwork sorted."
Susan, still in a bit of a daze but feeling incredibly pleased with herself, led him back to the office where they finalized the deal. John made sure everything was in order, and by the end of the day, he had the keys to his new apartment—an isolated, sun-proof haven where he could finally rest easy.
[Title Lost: Crackouse Resident.]
[New Title Gained: Started From the Bottom.]
At last, John did indeed turn from a level 1 Crackhouse Resident to a level 5 Crook.
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