''What's going on? What are you talking about?'' Aiden spoke silently, as if he had regained the ability to speak.
He thought it was the dummy that had spoken to him, like it did earlier. But as Aiden gained back his sense of sight, he didn't see any dummy in front of him. He was gone.
'You are the one who spoke, Aiden.' Answered the voice.
'Wha-what, why? Hah, I must be hallucinating; yeah, that's right, I'm so tired after all.' Thought Aiden.
''No, you are not. You certainly are tired, but this is no illusion; this is the truth that you've been avoiding for years.'' Spoke Aiden's voice.
''What the hell.. wait.. oh well, fuck it! If this is no illusion, then what am I, and who are you?'' Asked Aiden in Aiden's voice.
''I've already answered this question, Aiden. I am you, just as you are me. We are one, yet we've alienated ourselves.''
Those own spoken words pierced his heart as it ached from realization.
''I'm saying that we are the same person? But we were separated somehow, is that it?''
"Yes, Aiden, you are right; this is it.''
Aiden began to speak to himself, to answer himself. But hadn't it been what he was doing since earlier?
"You've always been with me then, but I never acknowledged your existence since my days as a bullied kid."
"I finally understand. As a means to protect myself from bullying again, I learned psychology. I learned how to manipulate others. I've studied humans and their psyche, yet I did so at the expense of my mental sanity since I studied them in the field instead of from books."
"This changed me entirely. As I acted differently day by day, I lost my real identity, and I killed you. I killed myself."
In fact, Aiden has always had a slight idea of his mental problems from the beginning, but he never wanted to acknowledge them. Too afraid of the consequences of asking for help, he sought answers and remedies by indulging himself in bitter training.
Aiden's loss of identity and multiple personality disorder were dangerous as they turned him into a time bomb. As a sensitive person, any negative emotions he felt made him snap. And only he knew how painful it was to control that urge of madness, to tie down the beast within him.
He didn't accept himself and rejected his original nature because he believed it was weak and pathetic. But this is where he was all wrong. One should never be ashamed of who they are. Instead, if they feel bad about themselves, they should try to improve themselves. Aiden kept trying to improve someone who didn't exist, to the point where he actually gave birth to another personality inside of him. It took over his original identity and made it disappear more and more.
"How stupid you've been, Aiden." He whispered in his tiredness.
"Starting from now on, it doesn't matter what happens; I will accept myself. I'll come back to who I used to be, but a better, real me.'' He said aloud.
Aiden's mind soothed, and his fatigue seemed to wear off bit by bit as his facial expression changed from the lively Aiden to a more serious grin, with scarily, mature eyes. His body, now up, was poised differently. It was proudly standing tall but not overbearing. His arms were still too tired to be lifted up, so they remained at the side of his body, like two short swords.
''I know who I am; I am Aiden Glain and not some persona that I've made. I'm a shy, introverted kid, a very sensitive person, pure-hearted, and well educated to the point where my maturity overshadows my age. I am a proud human being who wishes to better himself, and I won't use any fake identities anymore to achieve my goals!''
Aiden had overcome his traumas successfully.
|Kal's POV |
Today is the eighty-eighth day since the 'revolution,' as we call it—the phenomenon of the whole world changing, the sudden disappearance of our families, adults above the age of 20. This is what we now call 'The Revolution.'
It was two days prior to the martial arts tournament, and in two hours we would have an important meeting with various factions, including the Phoenix and Dragon Empire, known for their strength. Their leader is a revered female known as a princess. She insisted on being addressed as such instead of queen, leader, or even her name, as she felt it suited her better. I learned this firsthand just an hour ago when she arrived at the main castle's entrance.
Aiden had participated in a meeting three days ago, where we discussed the logistics of the upcoming "Cross Faction Meeting" using the system chat. It was decided that the meeting would be held at Heavenly Pandemonium, the largest and most grandiose venue among the attending factions. This meeting held great significance as we would finalize the competitors for the tournament and discuss other important matters.
Today was the fated day. The meeting would start in two hours, yet there was no sign of Aiden outside. I feared he might have collapsed during training. Disregarding orders, I decided to check on him at his training ground. However, on my way there, I encountered the princess, whose name was Jasmine.
"Oh, hello again, dear princess. Fate seems to bring us together once more," I said jovially, with a hint of flirtation.
"If this is truly fate, then I must say I find it rather unfortunate," she replied coldly, much like Aiden often did.
Before I could respond, I couldn't help but admire her beauty. She was a slender, fair-skinned 17-year-old girl with long black hair and azure eyes. Her delicate complexion and graceful demeanor gave her an otherworldly beauty. She was neither tall nor short but exuded a royal aura nonetheless.
"Haha, don't be so cold-hearted; you're breaking my heart," I said, momentarily forgetting her status.
"You seem quite fond of women and flirting, but I'm not interested in that kind of behavior, especially from someone I hardly know and don't particularly like. Please stop," she commanded firmly.
"Oh, it was just a jest. I won't joke unnecessarily anymore," I complied. She nodded approvingly.
"Now, could you tell me where your leader is? I've asked around, but no one has seen him or knows if he has left his 'training,' as they put it," she continued. "And what's with this 'training' business? Your leader is one of the most renowned among us and a significant figure. How could he be training instead of welcoming his guests?"
"Hahahaha," I laughed heartily, then added, "You'll understand once you meet him. Aiden is... a peculiar being. All of his people have already accommodated and accepted his way of doing things." I then motioned for her to follow me to meet Aiden.
"What... don't tell me he's some kind of hermit or crazy guy," she said, not as a question, but I answered anyway.
"Well, he's not either of those in the way you might think. Aiden is... my best friend, even before my leader. And I sort of understand why he's decided to train so intensely, to the point where he became a 'hermit' as you said. He only comes out of that damned training ground for 2 hours a day, along with the times he needs to go to the toilet, eat, bathe, and sleep."
"Okay, I won't judge him hastily, but why is he pursuing strength so fervently? I've heard a lot about him, actually. Most who knew Aiden before the revolution told me he was kind and funny, though he had physical problems and was quite weak. They also said he hated violence and fighting," she asked honestly.
"Well, that's the Aiden they know, not the true him by any standards," I responded.
"Wait, are you saying he's been faking everything?" She asked, dumbfounded.
"Well, this is something only I know, and you're not qualified or supposed to hear of this, so I won't say much. But, just so you don't misunderstand, Aiden is a good person, better than even my own parents, better than any other human being I've met, and much better than you are or will ever be." I paused for a second, looking her straight in the eye, and continued, "But misfortune has befallen him; he has suffered greatly from a young age and had to do some things to survive—metaphorically speaking. He only partially shows his true self to me. Mere bits of his true self."
"I see, this is indeed concerning. I'm sorry for judging him beforehand. But then, what is his true self?" she asked.
"I do not even know myself, princess. Nobody knows, in fact. His true self has died since his elementary school days. Now, he only shows partial fragments of who he once used to be. It hurts me deeply that I can do nothing to help him, while he is instead killing himself every day to find a solution on his own."
The truth was, Aiden and Kal had known their respective secrets since middle school, but it was still difficult for them to be completely honest with each other, as both of their traumas were madly sickening.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry to hear this... but what do you mean by 'killing himself'?" She asked, her voice cracking slightly, showing that she actually cared about Aiden despite never having met him.
"Let's forget it; I'm digressing. Anyway, we've arrived, so you'll get to meet Aiden."
Before I opened the door, I knocked. Obviously, I did so because it was originally unauthorized to visit him while he was training, except for extremely important matters. After hearing no response from Aiden, I considered barging in, as my worries grew stronger. I glanced back at the princess and reassured myself that I had a good enough excuse to visit him.
I opened the door and entered the training ground, followed by the princess. Upon closing the door, I immediately searched for Aiden.
''Aiden? Aiden, where are you? I'm sorry for entering without permission, but I have a good reason for it. Also, I was worried sick about you. And let's not forget it is almost time for the meeting; you gotta stop training and prepare yourself, man.''
| Jasmine's POV |
'I didn't think the issue was so serious that even the leader of this faction's best friend had to be so cautious around him.'
After hearing Kal's voice calling out for Aiden unsuccessfully, I began to speak.
''Mister Aiden, I am Princess Jasmine, leader of the 'Phoenix and Dragon Empire.'' I've come here with the intent to meet you.''
Still no answer, but merely after a few seconds, I noticed a figure in the dark just a few meters away from us; he was in the right-back corner of the training ground.
Kal also noticed him, and we both made our way to the figure since we couldn't see him well from here.
Approaching slowly, I added, "Let's not forget the fact that it is very improper of you to be so irrespons—" I was cut short by the sight before me. A tall, shadowy figure, covered in blood, could now clearly be seen. It was Aiden; I was sure of it, and it terrified me. He was a handsome man from the few features I could see from him that were not hidden by the blood. I always had a very good sight, and now I almost regretted possessing such a blessing.
''Gosh, we can barely see anything even from here; let me turn on the light'' said Kal.
And so the lights began spreading from the entrance to the entirety of the place. And clearly, I was not ready nor supposed to see what was in front of me, as well as around me.
Puddles of dried blood, huge ones at that, flooded the floor around Aiden, and there were many more in the whole place. And about the man himself, he gave off the impression of an otherworldly entity.
The half-naked man looked handsome, yet tired to the point I felt pity for him, as if he were someone dear to me. His messy, short black hair hid his facial expressions, but I could still make it up from here. He looked solemn and dark. His eyes had a look similar to disdain, but that was not it; instead, they gave off the impression of superiority and inner peace. His tiny and closed mouth had an authoritative shape. He possessed muscular yet slightly slander arms, which looked strong to the point that they were fully adorned with veins and carved in with scars.
The sight was horrifying; it was like a war veteran, honed by war and molded by countless life-and-death battles. His whole body was covered in scars of various sizes. But here, it was also bloodied, as if he had just finished a deadly fight against his worst enemy. But he was alone; he couldn't have fought against himself, right? So what exactly made him like that, I did not know.
''A-Aiden..O-oh my god, what happened to you? Please tell me your fine even if you don't look like it.'' Stuttered Kal, sheerly hammered by the view of his bloody friend.
And then, even before I could say anything, the man spoke.
''It's nothing to worry about, Kal. I just reached enlightenment through unsettling methods. I feel good, Kal, better than ever; in fact, sorry for needlessly worrying you, my friend."
"Enlightenment... Does that mean... you've succeeded in overcoming your traumas?''
''Yes, Kal, I now know who I am, as I have reached inner peace.''