Uk opened the window of the room assigned to him by the Sapphire staff. It was a nice room, facing the lake, with great air circulation and pleasant, gentle lighting.
After escorting Min Jun to his royal chamber, Uk had a chance to rest, shower, and unpack his things. The prince's chamber was not far from his, though it required walking down a long corridor.
Thinking about Min Jun made Uk's heart sink a bit. He realized something was happening between them, but he wasn't sure what, why, or where it was heading. Min Jun's subtle ways of playing with his feelings made it hard to decipher his intentions. If Uk misinterpreted and said something wrong, he risked humiliation or angering Min Jun.
Uk dared not risk that. Min Jun always acted unpredictably when angry.
But the prince really tested his limits. Just look at what happened inside the palanquin earlier. They were almost too close to an inappropriate scene! Luck was on Uk's side when someone opened the door; otherwise, their lips might have met.
Uk felt heat rise to his cheeks. He brushed off the thought quickly.
How dare you think about the prince in such an immoral way! How could you, Uk? Are you crazy?!
Uk scolded himself for his inappropriate thoughts.
But deep down, he had to admit, those moments with Min Jun were sweet and lively. At least he could feel his heart beating, indicating he was still alive. He couldn't understand why he felt this way. Obviously, it was wrong to love a prince, and even worse, they were both men.
How can a man love a man?
Again, Uk slapped himself back to reality.
Stop thinking about that, you idiot!
***
The air in the room was merry. The royal family was having dinner. Wang Ki sat a bit higher than everyone else. Wangbi Ki sat to his left, and Jung Bin to his right, a bit lower than Wangbi Ki.
Miju seja sat next to Athea Sejabin. On his right was Min Jun daegun and on his left was Myung Yu gongju. Both of seja's concubines sat next to each other on Myung Yu gongju's side.
Thus, all the ladies sat on the left side, while the gentlemen took their places on the right.
The dinner was simple: roasted mackerel with winter melon soup and a bowl of fresh kimchi. The royals chose to eat simply to rest their stomachs before the big event tomorrow. There would be many dishes to enjoy during the celebration, and they wanted to save room for that.
"Thank you for the dish. It complements my taste," said Wang Ki.
"True indeed, jeonha mama," Wangbi Ki replied with a smile, watching Jung bin, who also seemed satisfied with the dinner.
"How is it, Jung bin?" she asked politely.
"The soup feels light and balanced. Not to mention the kimchi, the cabbage tastes as if it was just picked," said Jung bin. Both ladies exchanged small giggles.
"You surely have a good taste for food, Jung bin..."
"I learned a lot from you, wangbi mama..." Jung bin replied politely to Wangbi Ki.
Unlike most queens and concubines, the relationship between these two royal ladies was great. They loved sharing ideas, especially about cooking and embroidery—two things they had in common.
"I'm glad both of you love the food so much, wangbi mama, Jung bin. I wish that sejabin jaga would love it as much as you two did," Miju gave a sharp glare at Athea, who couldn't even finish her meal. The soup remained cold in the bowl, and the kimchi was untouched.
"Everyone has different tastes, jeonha mama. Maybe sejabin jaga prefers something heavier, like what she always had back home," Jung bin tried to ease Miju's sharp remarks.
"Eating too much fat is not good for health anyway," Miju wouldn't budge. Athea's head remained hanging low. She knew her husband was disappointed by her actions today. But what could she do when she couldn't even sip a spoon of bland soup?
"She will enjoy tomorrow's buffet, jeoha mama. That's a guarantee. Don't worry too much about it," one of Miju's concubines tried to calm him down. Miju smiled, looking at her pinkish-red face. Obviously, among his concubines, he favored this one more.
Seeing his brother's situation made Min Jun sigh. He couldn't bear this kind of lifestyle. He didn't know if he had the guts to hurt his loved ones during a family dinner like Miju did to his consort. It seemed like Miju never really appreciated Athea at all!
"What are you looking at, orabeonim? Are you feeling jealous?" Myung Yu teased her brother.
"More like feeling suffocated. If marriage is indeed this hard, I choose not to, then..." Min Jun replied in his savage mode.
"You can't say that, daegun jaga. You need someone to keep you company until you're old. Just like jeonha mama," Wangbi Ki advised her son. Min Jun could only give her a dead stare. He obviously wasn't interested in this at all.
"Speaking of which... Allow me to suggest something, jeonha mama?" Jung bin asked for Wang Ki's permission. The king nodded, granting permission.
"I heard General Kim's daughter just returned from China. She studied as a practitioner for three years. A young, promising lady she is..."
Slowly, Min Jun's gaze shifted from his mother to Jung bin. He knew where this was leading. His heart started to burn.
"She's a year older than du beonjjae wangja but I think that's not a problem at all. She's a good physician who can take care of him. She could take over his treatment; who knows, maybe she could find a cure for his illness..."
"Mine is terminal. I'm just waiting to die, Jung bin. It would be a waste of time," Min Jun boldly replied to Jung bin's suggestion.
"Please don't talk like that, daegun jaga... Everyone is concerned about your health..." Jung bin quickly responded to Min Jun, but it seemed the prince didn't care at all.
"I've been living alone for nearly 20 years, and I'm still fine with it. Why would I bother others with my illness? If General Kim's daughter marries me and I die, she will end up joining the monastery for the rest of her life. What a waste of talent then!" Min Jun clarified his reasoning.
"Daegun jaga, at least, someone will be there to take care of you," Wangbi Ki softly persuaded her son.
"The stewards of The Red Ruby will take care of me. They always have," Min Jun replied to her politely, even though he was feeling devastated already.
"Daegun jaga... I think you should consider the conjugal with General Kim's daughter..." Wang Ki jumped into the conversation out of the blue.
"But jeonha mama-"
"At least, the conjugal will shut those mouths talking about your indecent visit to the Concubine Lane."
Now, Min Jun felt even angrier. Just now, he only felt disturbed and annoyed. But now, all those mild feelings turned into a pit fire burning the whole forest.
"My visit to the Concubine Lane has nothing to do with this. Besides, my intention is far from my action. I believe jeoha mama is aware enough about it, am I right?" Min Jun smirked at Miju. The man glared at him, silently warning his brother to keep things discreet.
"Whatever it is, you should be careful, daegum jaga. There are eyes lurking and lips whispering," Wang Ki gave his son a soft warning.
"I'm well aware, jeonha mama. Thanks for the reminder," Min Jun replied respectfully, though his heart was hurting so much by Wang Ki's claim.
***
"Conjugal ties? That's funny!" Dan laughed heartily. Min Jun smacked his head jokingly while huffing in frustration. Both men enjoyed themselves on the deck in front of Dan's guest room.
"Jeonha wanted to shut those wild gossipers about my visit to the Concubine Lane, not knowing that my brother, seja jeoha, is even worse than me," Min Jun sneered.
"Well, maybe because he chose the right person for that. You, on the other hand, chose a slightly different path..." Dan slowly poured some liquor into Min Jun's glass. "You chose both!" Dan teased his cousin more.
Min Jun swatted the man with his sharp, deadly glare.
"But, let's talk about this seriously. Why do you disagree with the idea?" Dan asked. Min Jun put his glass on the floor, staring into the empty space in front of him.
"I'm going to die, Dan. I'm not living for long. I don't want to destroy someone's life even after I die. There's no use for the girl to marry me. So, don't waste her time. She deserves happiness," Min Jun said earnestly. He sighed as he gave a plain smile to Dan.
"Okay... I get it. But... What if..." Dan scooted closer to Min Jun. "We're talking about the impossible, but... What if it's Gisa Ahn Uk?" Dan's question made Min Jun flustered. His cheeks turned pinkish all over.
"You're crazy!" Min Jun smacked Dan's head again, making the man whine in pain.
"Yarh, I'm just asking okay? I know you like the man anyway. So, just imagine... There's nothing to be afraid of in an imagination," Dan stood firm in his opinion.
Min Jun bit his lower lip. He took some time to think about it, to imagine it. How would it feel to wake up with Uk beside him every morning? How would it feel to have someone to talk to whenever he wanted? How would it feel to have someone who understood his pain and willingly stayed with him despite his flaws?
"Impossible..." Min Jun muttered softly, his eyes filled with sadness and longing.
"Not entirely impossible. Just difficult," Dan corrected, giving Min Jun a comforting pat on the shoulder.
Min Jun gave a small, sad smile. "Maybe in another life, Dan. Maybe in another life."