Boones
There was a big smile on my face as I headed toward the locker room to get dressed, no matter how hard I tried to conceal it. I was doing my best to play Mr. Tough Guy, but I couldn't help myself. I still couldn't believe Ari had just told me I'd been accepted to join Smiley's and train as their headliner hopeful, and I didn't know what to think. I hadn't come to tryouts with the intention of being offered a contract. Honestly, I didn't really know why I came. And now that I had actually fought well and got the offer, I wasn't sure what to do.
I wanted to grasp this new opportunity with both fists. The chance to get in the ring again would be fucking amazing. It was what my dad wanted for me, too. We'd had millions of conversations about it, and he'd told me over and over again that he was happy with the help of nurses while Lotto and I were out on the road. But I wasn't sure how I felt about someone else doing what was my job. I was pretty sure the guilt would eat me up alive. Would it end up being too much of a strain on all of us if I agreed to take Ari up on the offer?
But then again… I had the intense feeling that if I didn't do this right now, it'd be the biggest mistake I'd ever make.
I needed Lotto. I sent him a quick text telling him I got an offer, and I needed him here as soon as he could. My guess… he was waiting for this text, since he knew me better than I knew myself.
With my mind going a million miles a minute, I jumped straight into the shower, knowing that the hot water would help me think. It wasn't long before I could hear a hushed whisper coming my way.
"…can you actually see Freakshow allowing him in? After what he did? He's a fucking cheat!"
Someone was clearly badmouthing me, which really should have been expected, but it pissed me off regardless. I'd moved past caring what others thought of me now. I had worked so fucking hard to make myself a better person, but no one ever seemed to see that. They saw me as the same person I was way back then. I used to care what people thought; hell, I craved positive attention. But I was used to the negative only now.
"…he was the best fighter out there, though."
"That doesn't matter! He's a fuck-up, and that will only drag the rest of us down. This gym doesn't need a bad rep like that."
"I heard the Godwins wanted him dead."
"Jesus. I wouldn't want to fuck with them."
"Ari and Freakshow have fucking lost it."
Ever so slowly, simply being pissed started to transform into something else. A burning hot anger. How fucking dare these people judge me when they didn't even know me?
"He fucking threw a fight. Who does that shit? What would drive someone to that?"
I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to stand up for myself. To make these fuckers see that I wouldn't be pushed around.
I slammed the shower curtain open and grabbed hold of my towel before stepping forward with anticipation and rage coursing through my veins. "Why don't you just ask me, rather than talking shit behind my back like a little bitch?"
I was shocked to find myself looking at Teo—one of the guys with whom I had sparred earlier. He'd been patting my back, telling me that I fought like a beast, and now he was talking about me. Only little bitches did that.
At first, Teo looked somewhat shocked, like he might cower away from me. But then he seemed to realize everyone was staring at us, and he needed to be a man. "I just think that we don't need someone like you dragging us down. I think you're bad news. You always have been, and that's the end of it."
"Don't you fucking get it?" I asked. "I'm not that asshole anymore. Haven't you ever made a mistake?" I wanted everyone to understand, but of course that wasn't going to just happen. "You're a damn idiot."
I tried to turn away and walk off. But not content with only acting like a dickhead, Teo pushed me, trying to start a fight. I sucked in a deep breath, not wanting to act like a fool, but it was too late for any rationality. Anger raged within, and it was slowly eating me up alive.
I spun back, clenching my fists, ready for a fucking fight, if that was what he wanted. A real beating unlike the one in the ring that barely had me break a sweat. But before I could get to him and knock him the fuck out, Freakshow entered the room—the owner whom I needed to impress. I really couldn't get into a fight right now. Not when I hadn't even signed the contract yet.
I fell backward against the cold wall, trying to get control of myself. I needed to learn to keep my temper under control if I was really going to attempt resurrecting my career. It was going to get a whole lot worse than some assholes talking shit behind my back, and I was going to have to let it just brush off me. If I lost my temper every time someone acted like a prick, then entering the cage again was going to be the biggest mistake ever.
"What the hell is going on here?" Frankie asked, temper lacing his tone. "Are you fucking kidding me? You're in here fighting? Keep this shit for the cage. The cage!"
The way everyone stepped back with an odd look of fear in their eyes was a little strange. Were they all scared of this guy or something? Was he more of a dickhead than he first seemed? When Freakshow realized no one else was answering, he tapped me on the shoulder and indicated for me to follow him to the other side of the locker room.
Shit. I tried to settle my nerves as I went. I'd had my chance for a half a second, and I'd already blown it. Would an apology be enough? Would I be able to talk myself out of this one? I wasn't used to talking my way out of things anymore. It had been a long time since I'd had to answer to a trainer. Since I'd had to answer to anyone.
"I'm sorry," I started instantly, wanting to get my words in first. "That should never have happened. I know that I need to earn your trust and respect, as well as theirs."
"No." He shook his head at me, causing my heart to sink. Was it already too late? "I don't want to hear anything about trust. I don't really give a fuck what you did in the past just as long as it doesn't bleed into my gym. I need you to work your ass off and prove we made the right decision in investing in you." Huh? That wasn't what I was expecting at all… "Smiley's used to be an amazing gym. Our reputation was that we only produced champions, and things haven't been going so well recently. We're losing our asses, and promoters are losing interest as well. I need you to help me with this. You are an amazing fighter, though out of shape and in need of some fine tuning. I'm sure it goes without saying that I don't need any bullshit from you, but I'm sure that isn't going to happen."
"No, of course not."
"Now, go and get dressed, and get that contract signed with Ari."
I did my best to ignore the rest of the guys as I headed back toward the others to get dressed. My mind spun with the fact that I was being brought on to train with Smiley's. Luckily, after Freakshow's small telling-off, everyone else avoided me, too, which made me think that maybe he had it right. Maybe he needed to act like a dick with a firm fist to control all these dickheads.
As I finished dressing, Lotto entered, looking smug.
"Don't even start," I said, not being able to hide my smile.
"I was just down the street in a coffee shop. I knew I'd be coming soon enough," he said.
"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled. "Let's go see Ari."