The Month Of November
Carried Forward The Foundation ,
Set by October's Embrace.
Saturday, 4th November 2023
Navigating Awkwardness
"Namaste maami ji," I greeted with a grin as I entered the coaching center.
Seeing Sanjana, who hadn't been around for a while, gave me a fleeting moment of surprise—not full shock, but a brief jolt at her unexpected appearance.
The nickname "maami ji" was entirely for fun—just as I called Naira "maamu," I had started using "maami ji" with Sanjana. The "ji" was added out of respect, given the way she carried herself, which made her seem like a senior to me.
As I checked in at the desk, she kept her gaze fixed on the rank list. Without looking, she greeted me with a slight smile and said, "Hell-low," her tone playfully drawn out. It felt like she didn't need to see me to recognize my voice—"maami ji" had already done the trick.
I turned towards the classroom when I suddenly remembered that I had left my bottle in another classroom the previous day. On Lea's suggestion, I had called Dipali ma'am and asked her to keep my bottle safe.
I glanced back towards the reception desk and saw my bottle neatly placed underneath, just as I had requested. Relieved, I picked it up and made my way back.
When I returned with my bottle, Sanjana, standing nearby, looked up and smirked. She teased, "Tu toh apni bottle ko jeb mein leke ghoomta hai na?' Her playful tone was light-hearted and full of familiarity. Her taunt reminded me of how I kept all my belongings very safely and especially my bottle.
I couldn't help but smile at her comment. I then explained, "I forgot this bottle yesterday. After seeing the rank list, I had issues with my marks and requested ma'am to let me see my OMR sheet. I had to wait for a long time because of that. In the process, I left my bottle behind."
She was still just looking at the rank list. I then told her that Raj Sir had mentioned that if my marks didn't come out well in the next exam, my dad would be called. I was quite worried about this. As always, her response didn't change.
"Ye koi asli exam thodi na tha."
After filling up my bottle, I headed to the classroom. Sanjana, on the other hand, moved slowly in the opposite direction. After setting down my bag, when I returned to the reception desk to get the AC remote I looked around, I noticed Sanjana was not in the library.
I went back to the classroom and switched on the ACs.Just as I was adjusting and setting them to 24 degrees, the door opened, and Sanjana walked in. She looked at me and said
"Dono ACs 19 pe kar." (Set both ACs to 19 degrees.)
As she walked further into the classroom, my heartbeat quickened noticeably. It was more of an involuntary reaction. I'd always been a bit shy around girls and often found myself blushing. With Sanjana J, especially, I preferred to keep a bit of distance. As I always had that mindset of staying away from people who were a topic of discussion. Her presence made me feel a mix of nervousness and self-consciousness.
As usual, Sanjana placed her bag on the bench behind me and leaned against the wall as she sat down. I also wanted to sit on my bench with my back against the wall, but with Sanjana there, I felt a bit more reserved. If it had been Naira in her place, I would have comfortably settled into my usual spot. But since it was Sanjana, I decided it was better to sit at the table.
She asked me a few things about the reduced syllabus for the JEE exam. Suddenly, it hit me that the first part of my book, which covered the major incidents from 11th grade, was already complete. Lea and Ramesh had showered me with appreciation for it. Sanjana, too, had been eager to read it when I had just started writing.
I kept thinking about how to tell her that she was one of the main characters in my book. We had never been that close, and I was worried she might take it the wrong way. Before I could figure out the right words, she asked another question about the syllabus. As I answered her, I finally mentioned my book.
"And that's done too," I said in such a vague way that no one, let alone her, could possibly understand what I was referring to.
"What?" Her question was perfectly reasonable, and her eyes were still fixed on her phone.
"Nothing, nothing..." I muttered, staying seated at the table, trying to remain calm. My heartbeat was still racing.
"Bol na," she said. Hearing this, I lifted my head, only to see that she was still engrossed in her phone. Deciding to finally say it, I began, "There was this book I was working on, if you remember… Naira must have told you about it. Both you and Naira are a part of it."
"Yes," she said, remembering, and I was a little surprised.
"So, the first part is completed," I added.
"Toh bhej naaa," she responded, still focused on her phone.
Was it really that simple? I asked myself, a bit taken aback. I opened the drive of a secret email account I'd created to store all the chapters, then sent her the first two chapters. And just then, it hit me—I had forgotten to include the title and prologue. Panicking a bit, I quickly deleted everything and sent it in the correct order, this time with the title and prologue attached.
The PDFs were successfully delivered. I saw the blue tick appear—she had seen the message. But that was it. She had seen it and left it at that. Maybe she thought she'd read it later. Or maybe she didn't even think that far. Who knows? I, on the other hand, kept staring at our WhatsApp chat, looking at those sent PDFs again and again.
What's she going to think when she reads the part where she enters the story? At the center, in a lehenga with both her hands held by two girls. And that encounter we had in the lift… What if she takes it the wrong way? I really hope she doesn't get the impression that I'm following her around or worse—what if she thinks I'm into her? No, no, no, that was not even remotely possible! Ugh, the thought alone made me cringe. She might overanalyze the whole thing or think I'm writing about her in a weird way. I hope she doesn't pull some deeper meaning out of all this—because that was not it at all.
"Whatever I've written… about whoever I've written… it's only what I've seen or heard, that's all I've put in there. So, you please…"
"I'm going to take screenshots and send them to everyone," she interrupted, her voice mischievous. As she said this, she quickly lifted her head, her eyes widened, mouth open, followed by a devilish smile that made my heart skip a beat.
At that moment, I gathered some courage and tried to give her a disclaimer hoping she wouldn't misunderstand anything I had written about her. "Whatever I've written… about whoever I've written… it's only what I've seen or heard, that's all I've put in there. So, you please…"
"I'm going to take screenshots and send them to everyone," she interrupted, her voice mischievous. As she said this, she quickly lifted her head, her eyes widened, mouth open, followed by a devilish smile that made my heart skip a beat.
Hearing her response, it was as if all the courage I had just gathered drained out of me in an instant. Like my attempt to clear things up had fallen flat.
I blinked, looked at her, and then pressed my lips together, trying to steady myself.
"Nahi bhejungi yaar..." she finally said, relieving me by ending the joke. But I already knew it was all in good fun, though her words had left me momentarily blank.
In response to her questions about the reduced syllabus, I cleared up her queries quickly, feeling the urge to steer the conversation back to my book. I couldn't help but love talking about it.
I told her, "The first part of the book is mainly introductory." She asked, "Is it about your joining?" That was when I explained how the first few chapters revolved around meeting Aastha and then 'the spectacled girl'—who I always referred to as 'pehli wali' and 'dusri wali' after school ended.
"Abe toh teri kitni thi?" she questioned loudly, her eyes still glued to her phone. Yet, I could sense the faint laughter in her voice, even in her teasing shout.
This was the moment when Sanjana J finally learned about my ex-girlfriends.
"Smallest two gidits..." I began, but my voice seemed to completely disappear as her eyes finally lifted from her phone and landed on me.
"Kya?" she questioned, still waiting for an answer.
"Nothing," I shook my head, but she wasn't one to let it go.
"Bol na," she pressed, and after a moment, I finally let the words slip out, "Smallest two-digit number."
I let the silence linger for a few seconds, giving her time to process what I just said.
"I had 10 girlfriends in my school life."
She burst out laughing, her eyes back on her phone as she teased, "Aree, itni nahi rakhni hoti hai, Tanish!" Her shout mixed with her laughter echoed in the room.
As soon as the door opened, Naira walked in, dressed in a black jacket with her hair open. I could almost feel the sigh of relief escape from Sanjana, who had been calling and waiting for her. And honestly, I felt it too. Naira's presence instantly dissipated the awkwardness that had been lingering between Sanjana and me. They both immediately dove into their chatters while I turned my attention to my phone.
Despite being absorbed in my screen, I could overhear their conversation about the upcoming Khopoli trip. Sanjana, in her typical mischievous style, joked about packing "cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs" for the trip, saying she'd need them to survive. Her words made me feel a little uneasy, but not as much as earlier during one of the lectures, when she casually remarked about boys and girls sharing rooms on the trip.
"Zyada se zyada kya hi hoga? Sirf pregnant hi toh ho jayenge," she'd said with such nonchalance that it sent shivers down my spine. Goosebumps formed as I thanked my stars Naira was there, grounding the situation in some semblance of normalcy.
Naira then shifted the topic, talking about a new pair of jeans and a unique white top she'd ordered for herself which shifted the focus away from the earlier discomfort.
"Are you a racist?" Sanjana suddenly turned to me with an unexpected question. Reflexively, I replied, "What's a racist?"
Hearing that, Sanjana let out a frustrated tchhh, clearly irritated.
"Oh, wait, I know! A racist is someone who discriminates based on skin color, right? Yeah, I know what that means." I tried to clarify myself. Sanjana, however, responded with another exasperated tchhh, after which I quickly added, "I'm not a racist. In fact, I've always been proud of my brown skin."
I glanced over at Naira. "She's definitely the racist one," I teased, recalling the time she had poked fun at my complexion. It was that rainy evening when India was facing Pakistan in the Asia Cup. India had lost Rohit Sharma, Virat Kohli, and Sanjanas Iyer early in the game, and I was lamenting, convinced India would lose. That's when Naira had mockingly said, "You're as dark as your luck," in front of Sanjana and Shaurya.
Her words stung more than I expected, especially because they came from her—someone I liked so much. I remember stopping in my tracks, feeling a sharp pang in my chest as I turned around to face her.
"What did you just say?" I asked, my voice wavering slightly. Hearing something so hurtful from her, of all people, hit me hard. It wasn't just a joke—it felt personal. My heart ached as if it had been squeezed. My eyes burned with unshed tears, but I forced them back, trying to hold myself together.
At that moment, I felt small, humiliated, and disappointed. I had always admired her, and now her words seemed to shatter something inside me. It hurt so badly that for a second, I thought about just walking away, hiding somewhere where no one could see how crushed I was.
____________________________________________________________________________
The next day was set to be a challenging one.The afternoon had brought a message detailing the schedule: two long physical chemistry lectures from 11:30 AM to 1:30 PM and again from 2:00 PM to 4:00 PM. To top it off, the weekly Sunday test was scheduled from 5:00 PM to 8:00 PM.
I immediately texted the teacher to express my concerns. The timetable had been unstable and inconsistent throughout the year, creating ongoing confusion and stress. I asked her for clarification and any possible adjustments, hoping to address the recurring issue and make some changes to the timings that had been a significant problem for us all year.
Unfortunately, I was informed that no changes could be made. We were left to navigate the challenging day as planned. In the evening, my father reassured me by saying he would come in the afternoon with a tiffin for me, so that I wouldn't have to worry about food amidst the hectic schedule. His advice was to focus on the lectures and the test, emphasizing the importance of staying attentive since the exam was only three months away.
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Sunday, 5th November 2023
The morning began with an unexpected jolt—an argument with Ramesh on our WhatsApp group.Our usual playful banter and lighthearted teasing,the altercation was often intense. Typically, we would engage in casual taunts and jokes, this small argument was a bit out of the ordinary, but it ended quickly and didn't escalate.
After a hearty breakfast, I packed a heavy tiffin with bhindi paratha and a bread pakoda. The bus arrived on time, and I managed to reach the class promptly. Sanjana, Naira, Ramesh, Piyush, and Karan were all already there when I arrived.
I had just settled at the table after placing my bag when Sanjana called out to me. As usual, she was seated behind me along with Naira.
"Tanish?"
I turned towards her.
"What happened between you and Ramesh?" she asked.
"Ah, so you read it?" I responded.
"Yes," Sanjana smiled, with Naira joining in the amusement.
"Ramesh wants to go to IISc, but he doesn't really have the credentials," I said about Ramesh.
"Mai aise breakfast karte karte tumhare jhagde ke chats padh rahi thi..," Sanjana said.
Naira discussed the argument between Ramesh and me, and Sanjana supported my viewpoint, explaining that going to IIT was never my goal. Ramesh, on the other hand, was interested in research and aimed for IISc.
The conversation naturally faded, and my thoughts shifted to the upcoming deadlines at B.S. College. Our tutorial and practical book submissions were only two weeks away,
"Are you done with your tutorials?" I asked Sanjana, who was, as usual, absorbed in her phone with her back comfortably leaned against the wall.
I somewhat knew she'd already completed everything. I'd overheard her and Ramesh discussing English and Chemistry tutorials way back in July or August.
But when she said "no," I was genuinely surprised.
"My laptop stopped working," she said, widening her eyes as she placed her phone on the table, screen facing down, still holding it lightly in her hand. She explained that all her tutorial answers were saved on it, but then her laptop just died.
I quickly scrolled through my phone, looking for the document I had put together for Ramesh and Lea. It had all the links and answers for the English and CS1 tutorials.After locating them, I forwarded both the documents to Sanjana without a second thought. I let her know that it would help her out.
"Just click on the links, and you'll get the answers."
The long day began with the physical chemistry lecture. The classroom was sparsely populated, which was a relief. Shaurya sat next to me, while Naira and Sanjana were right behind us, and Kavya and Paresh were behind them. Ramesh, along with Piyush and Karan, filled the right row with the others.
Sumit sir had left, but Suman ma'am, who had recently joined, was exceptional. She taught so well that it never felt like we had lost an important teacher.
As we delved into the hydrolysis of salts under Ionic Equilibrium, I noticed how well we were grasping the concepts, reciting the derivations and repeating after mam. Soon we transitioned to discussing N. Awasthi. I knew I had to send the PDF to the group, as it had become routine for me to resend materials whenever someone misplaced them. It felt like a responsibility I had taken on, ensuring that everyone had access to the necessary resources.
I forwarded the PDF to our JEE Main group, but soon heard voices from the back indicating that some people hadn't received it. One of them was Pranshu, and I had forgotten he wasn't in the group since he was still unsure about his commitment to JEE Main.
"Is Pranshu not there in our group?" Sanjana whispered from behind me.
"Nope," I replied.
"Why?" she asked, curious.
I told her I hadn't added him.
"So, you mean you didn't add him at all?" she repeated my statement, turning it into a question.
I found myself wondering why she was so curious about it but decided not to dwell on it. I simply explained that I probably forgot to add him to the group.
As we started solving numericals,Sanjana got stuck in the first problem and called for my help.
"Sun sun sun."
After a few minutes, we realized the mistake—she had raised the power incorrectly, which threw off her answer.
"Dont use the logic which you always use…the one in which you say that same sign something…", I gave her my advice alongside, which she listened to while looking at her notebook as always.
Then came a numerical where both Sanjana and I made the same calculation mistake. We were confused as to why our answers were wrong until the teacher solved it on the board. Sanjana jokingly remarked, 'Ham dono ki calculation udd chuki hai,' but I quickly denied it, claiming I had gotten the right answer—even though I'd used the wrong formula. It wasn't until the teacher looked at my solution that I realized Sanjana was right; it was pure luck that my wrong formula gave me the correct answer.
Next came another numerical where we had to divide 10−8 by 10^{-5}, and once again, Sanjana struggled with it. She asked for my help, and I explained the entire procedure, showing her how to take the reciprocal. After that, she finally solved the question.
In the same way, Shaurya, Naira, Sanjana, and I kept talking while solving the questions. Between the occasional mistakes and discussions, we had a lot of fun. Despite the jokes and distractions, we managed to stay focused. With that, the long day's first lecture ended at 1:30 PM, and we got a half-hour lunch break.
I took out my phone and saw a few missed calls from mom. I stepped outside the academy and called her back. She told me she was shopping for a kurta for me, for Diwali. I asked her to send me some photos so I could take a look and decide which one I liked.
As soon as the first photo of the kurta arrived, I was just about to take my first bite of lunch in class. Naira, who noticed the photo on my phone, asked, "Are you getting a kurta for yourself?" She then mentioned that she also selected clothes in the same way for herself.
That day, in the ongoing 2023 ODI World Cup, India was playing against South Africa, and everyone was excited about it. Shaurya set up the live match in HD on his phone and handed it to me. Meanwhile, he was teasing Sanjana by taking her clutcher, sparking their usual playful argument. Amidst their bickering, I placed the phone near Naira and started watching the match.
And then suddenly… I heard…
"I'm here only until the board exams." The girl wearing a shrug and a messy bun said to Ramesh as I took another bite of my paratha.
"Uske baad toh… straight to Assam."
Her words captured all my attention.
I always knew that we would all leave AOS coaching after a few months, but hearing someone already talk about leaving made it real in a way that hit me hard.
"Man, she's really leaving... How can she just go? We've barely had time to be friends, and now she's already leaving."
She added with a smile, "Yeah, I'll study there."
She looked happy, but I wasn't.
"Aye yaar, she's going… but we just became friends." Tears welled up, but not enough to spill over as I watched her leave the classroom.
And then, from that sudden flood of emotions, I heard the buzz about India vs. South Africa match. The 2023 ODI World Cup had everyone on edge, especially with this being such a crucial game. Shaurya, sensing the shift in the room, quickly set up the live stream on his phone. "Here, watch it in HD," he said, handing the phone to me while playfully snatching Sanjana's clutcher. Their playful bickering filled the air, a welcome distraction from the mixed emotions swirling inside me.
I had placed the phone near Naira and focused on the match, trying to lose myself in the excitement of the game, and to have a conversation with Naira, who had already given a bonus to me by writing my name on my chemistry module, a memory I would always cherish in my life.
After the break, Suman ma'am returned, and with her came the students of Batch B2. In just a few moments, the once empty classroom filled up as if life had suddenly rushed back into it. the noise level spiked too, something B2 had been famous for—not just from today, but ever since the time I was a part of it.
"Hello everyone..."
"Hello students... look here..."
Suman ma'am used her usual trick to quiet the class, but soon confusion arose as both batches were on different tracks.
The teacher I had complained to the previous afternoon about the unstable timetable was called in, and soon it was announced that the students of Batch 1 could go home since they were ahead of Batch 2. Those who wanted could take the test from 3 to 6 instead of the usual 5 to 8.
It was a massive relief; the entire day had just been shortened. The weight of the long hours lifted off my shoulders as murmurs of excitement spread through the classroom. Everyone exchanged glances, a mix of disbelief and joy dancing in our eyes.I called my mom at home and told her that I would return by the evening after finishing the test.
After leaving the class, I followed Shaurya, Naira, and Sanjana into Classroom 10. We settled in and chatted for a bit, the mood light and relaxed. Then, we tuned in to watch the ongoing match with Simar and Sanjanas. Rohit Sharma continued his aggressive intent, a fire was ignited in him since the beginning of the tournament. Each boundary he hit sent waves of excitement through the room, making us all cheer in unison.
I noticed Naira leaving and asked her where she was headed. She explained that she had to go out for some errands, which was why she was skipping the test. The others had also left for their Apex batch classes, leaving just Shaurya, Sanjana, and me behind. We sat in a row, one behind the other, ready to tackle the test.
Before starting the test, the three of us indulged in some gossip, lightening the mood a bit. But as soon as the test paper landed in our hands, the stress hit hard. Nothing seemed to click—neither Physics nor Chemistry, nor even Math. It turned out to be my worst test ever then. When I finally finished and stood up, I noticed that Sanjana had already left before me. I bid farewell to Shaurya, gathered some JEE PYQs printouts, and headed home, feeling exhausted and a bit defeated.
I wasn't feeling quite right. Even though the exhausting day had been cut short, that test had stolen my smile. I had to put on a fake smile in front of my family when I got home.
When I sat down to study, I sent Sanjana the tutorial answers for Chemistry and CS2. She then asked for the answers to Physics and Math as well. I replied with a sad face emoji, so she told me to only send them if I already had the answers; otherwise, she would find them herself. I was already feeling a bit detached from studying, so I told her I had the links ready and that I'd send them by the next day. Later that night, I sat down, searched for the answers to the questions she needed, and compiled them into a document. The next day, I sent her the Physics answers.
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Monday,6th November 2023
The day wasn't particularly special. In the morning, we all went to play cricket, but I only managed to score 5 runs across four matches. To top it off, Ramesh was the one who got me out, which added to my disappointment.
In the afternoon, as I was heading out for my English class, a text from Sanjana popped up on my phone:
"Thank you, bhai.
You have zero idea how much you've helped me."
To me, finding those answers for her wasn't a big deal. Maybe she exaggerated her gratitude a bit, but it felt normal—it was human nature to feel extremely grateful when someone goes out of their way to help you like that.
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Wednesday, 8th November 2023
One of my bestest days in AOS
"Are? Mujhe laga ki tu traditional pehenne wala hai?" Naira asked, a hint of surprise in her voice.
"Of course, I am. I'll change in a while," I replied with a smile.
It was the last day before the Diwali vacations, with the first two days marking our much-anticipated Khopoli trip. The night before, I had put up a poll in our group to see who was planning to come in traditional attire, and I was happy to receive a positive response.
I had only one kurta left that I hadn't yet worn to AOS—the one I wore on Garba night. So, I decided to come an hour early, wearing my AOS t-shirt with the kurta tucked away in my bag. I still had on my white pant-pajama, which I hadn't changed out of. As I walked from the academy to the stationery shop to get multiple PYQ printouts and then back to AOS, I realized that I actually looked quite good in those white pants.
After returning to the academy, I was sitting on the sofa when Naira and Rushika opened the door and entered. Naira was visibly shocked to see me sitting there in my AOS t-shirt, clearly not expecting it.
Naira was in a beautiful blue traditional outfit, though I couldn't quite place what exactly it was. Even now, I can't recall the specifics. No one else seemed to notice or remember that day as vividly as I do.
She mentioned it was her mom's, which added a special touch to it. I could tell she had a different glow, something unique about wearing something with such sentimental value. All I knew about the outfit was that it appeared in one of her instagram posts, and I had complimented her on it back then. She was looking good in it today as well, and when I told her so, she smiled and thanked me.
After that, we had an Organic Chemistry lecture. The atmosphere in class was light and positive; everyone seemed to be taking notes and understanding the concepts—except for me, of course. I was still steadfast in my decision to abandon Organic Chemistry.
Naira, sitting beside me, looked bored. To pass the time, I took her notebook and started writing her notes in neat handwriting. It felt like a good distraction from the subject I had mentally checked out of. Ramesh, who wasn't exactly fond of Naira, caught sight of what I was doing. His disapproving look said it all, and he threw in a casual curse, "What nonsense are you up to now?"
He always had this dismissive attitude toward her, but I shrugged it off. I didn't care—I was going to quit Organic anyway.
When I handed the notebook back to Naira, she looked at me with concern and a look that asked, "Why did you leave your own notes to write mine?"
Sir too, was in a great mood, full of energy, and encouraging us to perform something for the class. He teased me with a sly remark about how I sing so well, clearly hinting at something. Then, people chimed in, revealing that I was known for my mimicry skills. That sealed the deal—I had no choice but to get up and perform.
I decided to mimic SKM sir and Mohit Kukreja sir, as they were always popular choices. Naira, meanwhile, took on the role of my personal director from the sidelines, giving me a running commentary on which actions I should imitate to make sure I didn't miss anything. Her guidance was spot-on, and I tried to keep up with everything she said.
On the other hand, Shaurya, sitting behind me, was trying to distract me—or maybe even make me laugh—by making inappropriate gestures. He was mimicking a blowjob action, but I couldn't quite figure out what he was up to at first.
The lunch break began, and so did the buzz about Sanjana's arrival. "Sanjana in a saree is the best combo," Lea remarked, with a playful grin. The other girls chimed in, nodding in agreement, as they continued to chat excitedly about it.
On the other hand, my stomach was already growling. Despite having devoured the samosas my mom made for breakfast and finishing off the paratha and sabzi from my tiffin as soon as I got to class, I was still hungry. So for lunch, the only option left was to grab something from outside.
So, I headed to 7/11 with Ramesh, and we grabbed a couple of packs of 10-rupee Kurkure—2 each. Munching on them was quite satisfying. But it was never enough to fill me. So, after heading back to class with Ramesh, I returned to grab a samosa pav, still hungry. Eventually, I found myself back at 7/11, picking up a packet of blue Lay's. That's when I spotted Rushika, Naira, and Lea at the billing counter, pizzas and chips in their hands.
When I got back to class, Ramesh couldn't resist taking a dig at me for how much I'd already eaten—which, to be fair, was true. I had wasted 60 rupees on three packets of wafers and a samosa pav, yet I was still hungry. That's when I decided—no more. Whatever I eat next, it'll be at home.
As I stepped out of the classroom, I noticed that answer sheets for the SV College assignments were being handed out. I walked over and just stood there, lazily munching on my packet of Lays, thinking that once I finished, I'd grab my sheets.
Just then, the door opened, and I overheard whispers about her arrival. Sanjana walked in, dressed in a white saree—if memory serves me right, it had a bhindi print, which is probably the only thing I remembered about it. though I don't recall all the details clearly.
"Tanish?" She turned to me,. "Which class are we sitting in?"
"Classroom number 9.", I answered.
I completely forgot to grab my answer sheet, too focused on finishing that packet of chips. With that in hand, I walked back to class without a second thought. As Sanjana arrived, Lea and Rushika left, and even Naira didn't seem to feel bored anymore.
The moment Sanjana walked in, she turned to Naira and asked, "Bata, mera ye clutch kitne mein khareeda?" Naira's guesses ranged from 40 to 90 rupees. Even I decided to give it a shot and guessed, "30?"
But Sanjana smiled and revealed, "It cost me just 20 rupees."
********************************
The trio—Sanjana, Naira, and Shaurya—had already begun their gossip, with Naira chiming in occasionally. As I got up to collect my assignment sheets, Sanjana casually asked me to bring hers as well. I sat back down for a few seconds, then suddenly got up again—who knows what I was thinking at the time.
As I passed by Shaurya's bench, I overheard part of their conversation and realized they were in the middle of discussing some climax scene from an incident Shaurya was explaining to Sanjana. By then, Naira had also joined in. When I sat with them, both Sanjana and Naira burst out laughing, and Shaurya continued narrating the rest of the scene. After listening for a bit, I finally stood up to get the sheets.
When I reached Deepali ma'am, she threw in some dramatic remarks, but in the end, I managed to get the sheets for Sanjana as well. Back in class, I realized I had 8 sheets for myself but only 6 for her. So, I tore one from my stack and gave it to her, and we both ended up with 7 sheets each.
Shaurya and Naira were deep in conversation, with Sanjana listening intently, while Mayanti and I sat nearby, casually scrolling through our phones and half-listening. Shaurya, always the one to tease, had a habit of picking on the four girls who usually stuck together. Then, his target was Naira, and he couldn't resist commenting on her WhatsApp DP. "Naira ki DP achi nahi hai, kyunki usme khud Naira hai," he quipped.
Nobody laughed, not even lightly, and just then, Paresh, who had been sitting quietly in the next row, suddenly looked up from his phone and shot back, "Apni khud ki shakal pe dhyaan dena chaiye."
Shaurya's reply came as quick as lightning: "Tu kyun bother ho raha hai? Yeh toh maine tujhe bola hi nahi."
And with that, the room erupted into a heated argument. Their voices grew louder, and in the midst of their rising tempers, I had to raise my own voice just to break through the noise. Trying to calm things down, I said, "Shaurya ka taunt Naira ko tha, toh yeh uski problem hai ki usko kaise handle karna hai."
But Paresh wasn't having it. He shot back with a taunt of his own: "Ek ladki ke baare mein aisa bolna hi nahi chaiye tha." That remark only reignited the fire that was just beginning to settle, fanning the flames of an already tense situation.
Hearing Paresh's words reminded me of how he himself used to speak disrespectfully about a girl from our academy. I couldn't help but retort, "Tu ladkiyon ke baare mein baat karna toh chhod hi de." By that time, the two of them had already closed the gap, getting dangerously close to a full-blown fight. First I tried to keep it down by raising my voice and asking them to stay away from each other. Sanjana told me to call Abhishek sir. The tension was thick, and I had no choice but to step in. I tried to push them apart gently, keeping them at bay. I could feel Shaurya's tense biceps as I held him back. Thankfully, after a few moments, both of them retreated to their spots, the confrontation defused—at least for now.
On one side, Sanjana was trying to reason with Shaurya, urging him to back down, while on the other, Mayanti was attempting to calm Paresh, reminding him that after three months, everyone would be going their separate ways, so there was no point in holding onto such fights.
That day's second and final lecture was on physical chemistry. Everyone settled into their places— I was sitting on the second bench with Kavya, while behind me were Naira and Sanjana. Shaurya sat behind them, and in the other row, Paresh and Mayanti had taken their seats. The classroom was packed, with students from both B2 and the non-integrated batches, all ready to attend the lecture.
The water outside had run out, but somehow, my bottle was still filled with cold water. Naira's bottle was empty, so I took it and kept it with me, using it like a makeshift gear, just to tease her. Managing two "gears" at once was tricky, but I was determined to bring a smile to her face. Every time her bottle slipped from my hand, she'd burst into laughter, and honestly, that moment alone made my day.
As we began discussing the questions, lighthearted teasing followed. Whenever Naira made a mistake, I would sarcastically remind her that's why I'd given her the nickname 'Maamu.' And when Sanjana messed up, I'd joke that she'd have to become 'Maamu' too, from 'Maami ji.' Naira, confused, asked why she was 'Maamu' while Sanjana was 'Maami ji.' In a soft voice, I responded, "Because you're too cute for anything else." I quickly looked away, but Naira caught my words and gave a puzzled look, almost as if she was questioning her own cuteness. From then on, I made sure to cover my own mistakes quietly, hoping the two glowy faced behind me wouldn't notice.
I glanced back for a second when I sensed a lot of noise. I saw Naira and Sanjana encouraging Shaurya, who sat slumped over, his head resting on the bench, clearly distressed. His eyes were slightly red, a sign of the frustration he was feeling.
Trying to lift his spirits, I said in a playful Bihari tone, "Maamu, pareshaan ho kya?" He looked up, his gaze meeting mine, and gave a faint smile. Seeing that made me feel a little lighter.
And just as I turned to the front, I heard Sanjana's voice from behind.
"Oye..
Oye...
Sun sun sun!"
I turned around to see that she had a doubt. After clearing that up, when I looked back at the front, the teacher was explaining the pH of water was 7. ,And when I questioned the faculty that how was water's pH determined to be 7, I heard Sanjana's voice chiming in again from behind,
"Mai batau? Mai batau? Mai Batau?"
"Hold on. Let me ask the teacher first, then I'll ask you about it," I replied to Sanjana, and finally, I understood the entire concept from the teacher.
After that, I turned to Sanjana and said, "Yeah... now you explain it to me."
Surprisingly, she began explaining the whole concept from the beginning, even though I had just understood it from the teacher a minute ago.
"Wait... you're explaining something I already know," I interrupted her.
"Then what do you want?" Sanjana asked, puzzled.
"I thought you already knew about the quadratic equation that helps us determine the pH of water as 7, which I just asked mam. I was just wondering how you knew about this equation even before the teacher taught us."
"Nahi. That I did not know. I only knew what I explained to you just now."
My kurta's button had fallen off that same day at the Grand Garba. I had been trying to keep it pinned for the entire day, but it always seemed to come undone. The last time it happened was when I was sitting with Shaurya, engrossed in the climax of a gossip scene, while Naira and Sanjana were next to me. Naira had noticed but didn't react when I gestured for her to keep quiet by putting a finger to my lips.
And now, it had popped open again. Suddenly, I thought that a safety pin would be a good solution. I glanced around at the three girls sitting nearby, and since Sanjana was the only one in a saree, she was probably the only one with safety pins.
Hesitantly, I turned to Sanjana for the umpteenth time during the lecture and asked, "Hey, do you have a safety pin?"
She lifted her head, pressed her lips together, and nodded as I finished my request. To avoid the awkwardness, I added, glancing between her and Naira, "If either of you has a safety pin, that'll work for me."
"I have one," Naira said, which took me by surprise. I distinctly remembered her telling Rushika earlier that morning that she didn't have a safety pin.
She took out a safety pin from her pouch, I guess, and handed it to me.
Normally, I could fasten a safety pin accurately and remove it once I was done, but for some reason that day, the pin just wouldn't go through my kurta. Kavya suggested I try in the washroom, so after several failed attempts, I gave up. I returned the pin to Naira and temporarily tucked my kurta back into place, just like before.
Moments later I found myself talking to Sanjana about something more pressing—her upcoming submissions. " How far have you gone with the tutorial completion?..The submission dates arent far."
"What are you asking about?"
"Tutorials.", I repeated.
"You mean tyutorials?", she slowly whispered as mam passed by us.
"Are ha meri angrez", I kept this to myself and agreed,"ha wahi tyutorials."
She mentioned that she still had her tutorials pending and would begin completing them that evening.
A little while later, we spoke again. It occurred to me that since I was already planning to send the assignment answers to Ramesh, I might as well inquire if Sanjana needed them as well.
She smiled, a soft chuckle escaping her, and then extended her hand towards me, as if asking for something.
"So, should I send them?" I asked, just to be sure.
That smile remained on her face as she nodded... and then giggled.
"Who would ever refuse that kind of help?" Naira muttered in a low, amused voice, shifting her focus between the whiteboard and her notebook.
"No, I mean... help and support should be given only to those who genuinely need it," I expressed my belief.
"You help without being asked," Naira remarked, her eyes shifting from the board to her book.
"Well, you're super special to me, that's why I always help you unconditionally," I whispered under my breath, so softly that even Sanjana couldn't hear it.
"So, has everyone packed for the trip?" Suman mam asked us, slipping into a casual conversation.
"Yeah... no, I'll do it after I get home," Sanjana's response caught my attention.
"Wait, what? You're going to start packing after you get home?" I asked, surprised.
"Huh?" She shifted her gaze from the teacher to me.
"You're going to start packing after you get home?" I repeated.
"Yes," she nodded.
"But didn't you say you'd be doing your tyutorials tonight?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Abe!!" she let out a sigh and a soft laugh.
"So, here's what you should do—sit at home, finish your tutorials, and I'll go on the trip on your behalf," I teased.
"Abee!!" she burst into laughter, her crystal-white teeth flashing as she laughed out loud.
"Eraser!" she asked as the lecture was coming to an end.
"Which one do you want? The eraser I've had since 8th grade? The one I used during my 10th board exams? Or maybe the one I've been using since February? Or the one I opened in July?" I quickly rattled off the options from my collection.
"Abe, just give me any one, please," she pleaded, a bit exasperated.
"Fine, take this one," I handed her the eraser I'd been using since February.
While she used it, I started telling her about the different varieties of erasers I had. After she returned it, I reached into my bag and pulled out all the erasers I carried with me. She leaned her head on the bench, examining them closely, showing her curiosity for the nth time.
"If you've had them for so long, why aren't they worn out by now?" she asked, puzzled.
"Because I never fully use them," I explained with a shrug. "They usually get lost somewhere, and I just open a new one. Then, later, I found the old one," I added with a laugh, as it was our last conversation of the day.
Suman ma'am dismissed the class, wishing everyone a happy Diwali, though few seemed to pay much attention to it.
Everyone was excited for the trip the next morning, their conversations buzzing with plans and packing lists, while I stood on the sidelines, feeling the weight of my own reality.
It had been a day filled with laughter and moments I'd cherish, but as evening approached, a knot tightened in my chest. The thought of not being part of their trip made me feel a little left out, as if I'd miss out on something that could strengthen our bond even more. I tried to brush it off—there would be other trips, other times. But a small part of me felt bad for myself, knowing I'd be miles away in Gwalior, while they made memories together.
I didn't want to show it, but I couldn't shake the thought that tomorrow they'd be sharing jokes, stories, and photos, and I'd be an afterthought, sitting somewhere far away. Shaurya was still with me that evening, his presence grounding me as I prepared for my own departure. Even so, there was a quiet ache as I boarded the bus, knowing that tomorrow would bring a different kind of loneliness.