Jane….
I hate interviews, I hate the public, I hate people but why do I do what I do? Is something we will never know.
Miss Jane, we have one last question, do pardon us if it makes you uncomfortable but people are curious. Why did he leave? My interviewer asked risking his career and everyone in the room.
I don't know what gets colder, the room or my heart, I know the what, the how, and the where but never the why, something I have been desperate to know, why did you do what you did, why did you say what you said, why did you leave? The memories of that day are just as fresh, breaking me each time I think about it.
Well, he finally realized how boring and incompatible we were and he left. I managed to speak without sounding broken
But that is not what he told us….
You spoke to him?
Yes, we had an interview with him last week down town but of course he told us to keep his arrival a secret until we can have an interview with you.
His back in town? I do not realize how curious I look asking about the one person I shouldn't be thinking about.
Yes, according to my sources he has been back for over a month now, he was spotted attending a few charity gathering over the last weeks if am not mistaken. Were you not aware?
No, its not really my business where he decides to be. If that was your last question we should end the interview here,
Yes, I don't see why not. Thank you accepting an interview with us
The pleasure the is all mine.
Oh, and before I forget, there is a fan of yours that would like to see you back stage if its not too much to ask for. He requests for just a few minutes with you.
I can't say no to a fan.
That's great then I will have my staff take you to meet him.
I know the person waiting behind that door and deep down I really want it to be him, because I want to prove to myself, I am long gone and he has no effect what so ever on me. I tell myself repeatedly but all that evaporates the moment I see him, I lose it. Why? ... why now? I finally learnt to smile again so why are you back? I try to voice out my questions but I swallow them back before they reach my mouth.
You don't have to stand so far from me. Its only after he has spoken do I realize I am still standing at the door.
I am fine right here; I wasn't expecting you here I thought I was just meeting a fan.
I am the fan.
Gosh his voice still sends the shivers but he doesn't have to know that, he doesn't need to know I still get goosebumps every time I think of him. You have seen me; I should be going now.
Wait please, I just need to talk to you. He says in the most Shaky voice practically begging me to listen, half of me wants to walk out on him like he did but I want to hear his voice little longer, I don't say anything.
Can we talk somewhere more private? At least somewhere you can seat, he steps forward and I unconsciously step back. He doesn't have to tell me my actions just hurt his feeling; I can tell how he slightly clenched his jaw has if restraining himself.
I am sorry its rather inappropriate for me to have secret meetings with my fans but if its really important do talk to Michael, he will make the necessary arrangements. Is that all?
How have you been Jane?
Does it matter?
To me yes it matters, you matter.
I have been broken, I barely managed to move on, so why now Ethan? taking a deep breath before I continued making sure my voice doesn't break. You know what, I don't think I want to know anymore, whatever your reason was, you did what you did and I felt what I felt so please let's not …, stop trying to walk back into my life and pretend you care
Jane I just…
No! Ethan not today, I don't want to hear it. Let's leave it as it is, I turn and leave him without sparring him a glance repeatedly telling myself its for the best, we have nothing to do with each other but the agony I feel is just as worse as the first time he left only I am the one leaving this time.
Did you meet your fan? Michael also my assistant asked joyfully
You knew?
It would be weird if I didn't since he practically begged me to let him meet you.
Of course, I roughly brush my hand through my hair, breaking my hairstylist' heart.
He just wanted to explain, I am not saying what he did is excusable but maybe you should listen to him.
Listening to him won't bring her back! I snapped; I don't say anything else but the sadness in Michael's' eyes tells me the message is clear.
I am sorry. He says as he ushers me to the car and he drives off in silence.