Strolling out in the dead of Friday night, the streets felt empty. Nothing but the cold wind blowing his way, stroking his hair like a cold mother that he was not so unfamiliar with. He saw a nearby car stop, the driver waved at him and pointed to his phone. It was the cab he ordered to the city center, distracting himself from what had happened a few days ago.
Nathaniel opened the door to the cab, held the door briefly open for, carefully analyzing his surroundings like a spy, checking every dark corner for a sign, anything that indicated that he was being watched but to his dismay there was nothing or at least that's what he thought.
Treading inside Beer Street like he owned the place, he passed by the usual bartenders waving and smiling at him. Do they sleep here too?! he wondered distracted yet again by the puniest of things before he heard a loud scream, "NATHANIEL!!! Woohooo, come bro!! OVER HERE! Join the fun wagon!" David, Peter and their girlfriends were sitting on the highchairs of a table in the not secluded area of the bar.
"Couldn't you idiots find a better…more secluded place to avoid more eyes….I am still dealing with my little social anxiety not fully ready to join the world, not yet!" he strolled to their table with a frown.
"Well, he stands true to his name. Devil's son indeed." Said Anja looking at Nathaniel's style, a black shirt, a pair of black jeans, rebel boots smashing the floor like mud and his typical onyx ruby gem ring in hand.
"Happy to see you too, buddy! You finally made it…here I already bought your first beer." David gave him a bro shake pushing the beer mog to his side.
Nathaniel kissed Anja and Monica on the cheeks before hugging Peter. "Thanks…but pass. I am not a huge beer fan and you know it." he raised his hand awaiting for one of the bartenders to swiftly take his order, "The usual!" he said caressing her hand, a devilish smile on his lips, making her giggle excitingly.
"How the heck do you do it?!" Peter whispered carefully, making sure his girlfriend didn't hear them.
"Do what?!" he carelessly checked his phone.
"Get them ladies to laugh like that. To do anything you want!"
He put the phone away and pretended to think deeply, "I'll let you in a little secret…I mesmerize them so in other words they are doing things for me involuntarily…humph am I in legal trouble?!" Peter stared at him unamused, "Not to worry, I do genuinely seduce them before sleeping with them so that part does come with consent….phew thought I couldn't get that part out of my chest so easily!"
"Dick." Peter annoyingly looked away taking a sip from his beer mug.
"You see! That's how I do it. I don't even try; I just do what I do best and be myself….a total dick as you have complimented me yourself." He grabbed his gin glass and held it close to his face, checking the people at the bar.
A few hours, a couple of drinks and some inside jokes later and they were all ready to leave the bar to the next place. David could barely stand on his feet, constantly tripping, closing his eyes, he laughed for no apparent reason. It made Peter laugh too. Nathaniel simply stood next to Anja and Monica, sighed heavily and grabbed his buddies, taking them out of the bar, "I think you two had a little too much to drink for one night, a cab home should fix that."
"Nathaniel!! But we still want to dance!"
"Yes!! They promised!" protested Monica and Anja, their arms crossed, refusing to go home.
Oh brother, as if babysitting these two idiots was not enough, now I have to take care of their girls, "Yeah, no maybe so" he said in a funny accent. He really wanted to send all of them away and go back home but the girls refused to take the cab with their boyfriends. "Alrighty-ho, if you promise to be good girls, behave yourself and be amazing wing-women for me then I will take you to a nearby club….but we're leaving when I tell you to leave, capito?" they nodded simultaneously.
"You….you….youuuuuuuu take careeeeee of myyyy girl…." David mumbled, pointing his finger at Nathaniel, before he grabbed his finger and pushed him inside the cab.
If only you morons were not my only friends….the stuff I would do to your girls…but I shall keep my hands to myself….scouts honor, "So ladies, you ready?!"----Monica and Anja nodded again---"Lovely! Now follow my lead!" he glanced at the entrance of the bar before leaving, a group of people were just about to enter; a hot, blond girl among them. Damn she is gorgeous!!---he stared in awe while he put his arms around Anja and Monica.
She stopped and checked him out too, "Sarah come on, let's go go go!!" her friends screamed, pushing her inside the bar.
Maybe some other time, love. He shook his head with a smirk.
She trudged inside, checking the bar's ambient. It was dark yet friendly, not too dark to fall and trip but just enough for people to mind their own business. The loud jazz music playing in the background gave her New York vibes as she moved her body to the rhyme almost involuntarily, "Sarah, you have been to New York, haven't you?" her friend Carla asked curiously.
She was still focused on the music, shaking her head to the beats when she stopped, "Uh-um, just a short business trip. Nothing special but traffic and dirty, busy streets. The only positive experience was the drink at the Korean restaurant…the view was surreal." She closed her eyes and imagined the scenery at the restaurant.
"Hey, you guys finally made it!"
"Lukas!!" Sarah screamed and ran to his arms.
"I haven't seen you in like weeks, has your job finally fully replaced us, miss independent?!"
She hugged him tightly, "Oh you! You guys can never be replaced. You will always have a especial place in my heart!" Sarah proclaimed, putting her hands around all his friends. They all gave a group hug to one another----I have to wake up early for that emergency meeting tomorrow but…I guess a few drinks won't hurt anyone-----She checked her watch and hoped for the best.
******
The night club lasers projected on their faces as they danced to the music in sync like a high-school musical. Some guys laughed at him in the background but Nathaniel did not care; he was, after a long time, really enjoying the moment while he held Monica in front of him and Anja behind him. They danced and held their hands high in the air, "Hell yeah!!! Now that's what I call good music!"
"Nathaniel!!! Let's go and get more drinks!! Shots are on me!!" Screamed Anja holding his and Monica's hands leading them to the bar.
"Oh I don't think so missy, I am not drinking too much tonight, I got a lot of work tomorrow!" "Come on Nate, I just need another shot! I had such a rough week and Peter always passes out after the third drink. You're the only one I can count on, pretty please?!" he rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed.
"WHOOOOOO!" Anja screamed almost crashing the shot glass against the bar, and continued to dance to the music, shaking her head left and right.
"Wooohooo yeah!" Nathaniel uncomfortably and sneakingly threw his shot on the floor.
At the end of the night, drunk and out of proportion, Monica and Anja strolled around the streets like crazy people, "Now to take away all the fun I had tonight and babysit…." He constantly grabbed them and held them put as they tried to walk away drunkenly to the sides of the streets. He got them inside the nearest Tram and took them to David's home.
"Jesus, who is that at this hour…" David got up from the loud knocks on his door, his eyes barely open, the skies still dark.
"Hey!" Waved a pissed Nathaniel with a forced smile, handing them over to him, "I didn't get paid enough to take them both to their respected residence so….Good luck and bye, bye!"
Daniel toasted his white wine glass with the rest of his friends in the middle of the living room in his beautifully decorated apartment, his hand around Lea's hips. There was no worry in the world that could steal this wonderful moment from him, "So Daniel, Raphael tells me that you are from the United States, I mean it is kind of obvious with the accent and all but where from exactly?" said the new girl.
"Raphael you inglorious bastard!" he looked teasingly at his friend before he continued, "I am originally Italian, my entire family is. We moved to the U.S. because of my father's career as a university professor. My old man was---a great history professor----not so much a great father though." He mumbled the last part to himself.
"Really, Italian?! But your last name---pardon me, I know I am asking too many private questions but Raphael has been talking about you so much since we began dating that I felt like I was going to be in the presence of a God."
"Hey, watch it you!" Raphael teasingly tickled her belly.
"Not to worry, not to be confused with a self-obsessed, egocentric a-hole---that would be my dear elder brother---but I do enjoy it a fair bit too much when the attention is wholesomely on me!" he laughed a little and took a sip from his wine glass, "Our original last name was Degenova." He played with his wine glass, circling it a little, "My father being the amazing dad that he was, decided that we should go American all the way so—he changed it to King for his sons were supposed to rule the world---or something among those lines. Poor fellow drank himself to death before he saw either of us make it big." He looked distressed and drank the whole wine glass before he noticed he had brought down the mood of the entire party, "Come on, this is no time to be depressed we got like five more wine bottles and the whole night to celebrate."----he opened another bottle and poured it on everyone's glass, "To new friendships, miss Anna!"
"To new friendships Mr. Daniel!" they clinked their glasses.
After a few more toasts, Daniel walked to the terrace and looked out to the streets. Raphael noticed him outside, he had been there for quite a while and that could only mean one thing, his friend was strapped in an endless loop of over-thinking, "Hey, you forgot you are out of wine, let me help you with that!" he joined him and opened another bottle.
"Oh yeah, didn't notice that." He said his eyes fixed on the streets below.
"Daniel, I know that look, you are overthinking again! So---what's up, buddy? What is holding you down now? Is everything alright at work?"
"Yeah---yeah, everything is great at work. Still working on that God forsaken promotion but we will get there, in time!" he avoided eye contact with him.
It alarmed Raphael---oh boy, it is something big--- "So what then? What's wrong?"
Daniel sighed, he gave him a side-glance, at bit annoyed at his usual persistence, "Nothing I can't deal with myself. This too shall pass…"
"Come on man, you can talk to me! Once upon a time we use to hang out every single day. I was your confidant, remember?"
"You still are old friend!" Daniel patted him in the back and forced a smile knowing he had to say something to shut him up, "It's Nathaniel---my older deranged brother who's thought and burden keeps haunting me everywhere I go."
"Oh yeah, how is he doing by the way? I haven't seen him in ages." He stroked his chin and took a sip from his glass.
"Barely holding on to his dear life. It's like he keeps willingly walking into quicksand, and I always have to be there to pull him out---and I keep wondering to myself how long do I have to keep doing that…" he said frustratingly, his eyes back on the streets again.
"I know how hard it can be to care about the ones you love, especially if they are mad and a bit beyond hope, like your brother, no disrespect." Raphael mumbled the last part and looked down, his eyes just peeked at Daniel's reaction who looked back at him and chuckled.
"You are right, he is beyond hope but sometimes---sometimes I see so much potential in him but he is so damaged that even if he were to be the most brilliant human being in the world, he would still manage to ruin things for himself somehow."
"Was he always like that?"
Daniel took a seat, "No, and that's what irks me the most."----he clutched his fist and closed his eyes, trying to hide his frustration, "Believe it or not, my brother was sweet and caring, desperate for love and affection---and that became his very downfall into the animal that he is right now. An alcoholic, emotionless monster who seduces women only for his own amusement and throws them away like a well-used tissue the moment he gets slightly bored."
"Wow, so he never recovered from that one, did he?"
"No, those were his own words. I will never recover from this Daniel, there is no hope for me or the future…" he mimicked his brother mockingly before Lea and Anna join them at the terrace.
"What are you guys talking about?!" said Anna curiously, changing focus between the two.
"I think you two had enough bro talk for one evening. Now come on, join us back inside, our guests are sick and worried about you." Lea said, patting his back.
"Of course, mother!" Daniel mocked Lea and before she was to react, he smooched her and quickly rushed inside, his brother's thoughts strongly present in his mind.
Sitting on at the corner of a night bus, Nathaniel's mind could not stop the thoughts of the powers of the Temhos. The unimaginable powers I could accumulate the things I could do…but then again, what if I was right? What if all of this was indeed a prank and the Temhos doesn't exist? Surely there has to be an explanation to my obsession.
As soon as he arrived home, he strode to his room and turned on the lights, jumping at his workstation.
October 7th
Log #266
Tonight, I have finally found motivation or rather say a reason to start writing again. As doubt slowly corrupts my mind by the minute, driving me to the brinks of madness and despair; I stand hopeless and lost with yet again nothing to look forward to.
Not sure if I'm losing my mind completely or the voices in my head are getting stronger. Either way the last couple of days have been a joyful ride into the heart of the madness that has been ponding in my mind for years.
Patience runs thin by the second and I am unable to reason with my longings. I can't sleep at night even when I consume monumental amounts of alcohol. My ever-weary mind wakes me up every night before the crack of dawn.
I can't escape this frustration nor the constant fear of failure. The future seems bleak as I pray to the Creator for a good night sleep hoping these days are the lows from the constant ups and downs of life.