My name is blue, yes it is a color and it was my late mother's favorite color.

My mother died in a car accident 2 months after I was born.

My father later hired a nanny for me and when I was 5 my father married my nanny Berna

Berna was a tall woman with long hair, black curly hair, I think she had a face like the evil in her heart hit her face but according to my father she looked like an angel no matter what she did.

My father is a math teacher.

My father is very strict and serious, a man who cares about success a lot, my father is tall like Berna, my sister Berna is 1.75 but my father is 1.85

I am 1.59, I look like my mother, my father says so, my mother is short like me, short, thin, brown hair, small face and small nose

I go to my mother's grave every weekend, I could only see my mother in photos but that was not enough, I wanted to hug my mother.

I learned love from my sister Berna, from hugging her children, always being there for her children, raising them with love and sweet words

I learned hatred from my sister Berna, from not loving me, not caring, from the way she combed my hair and hurt me, from the bad jokes my stepsister always made.

I had a stepsister named Doruk, he was my brother Berna's child from a previous marriage. Doruk's father had passed away and this was before Doruk was born. Doruk's pain was great, he was always jealous of me because he was my father, he would do everything he could to make my father hate me. Doruk was a tall handsome man with brown hair, muscular body. I wish I were in Doruk's place. I wish I were in Doruk's place.

And finally, Doruk's sister Ecrin, who was 4 years younger than me, was 13 years old and a very spoiled girl. The luckiest thing about us was that Ecri had a mother and a father. Ecrinde was a tall girl with long brown hair just like her mother. She was the same height as me. She was tall for her age and a very cool and rude girl. When she was born, she loved to torture me. She would pull my hair since I was born. She didn't like me even when I was a baby.

As for my life, I lived in a house like hell. I didn't have a room of my own. I slept in the living room.

I was forbidden to go out of the house and the other kids didn't listen to Berna and Dad when Doruk turned 18 and he would come home late at night and they wouldn't say anything anymore, he couldn't stand it

I always wanted to be like Doruk but I couldn't raise my voice to anyone because I always grew up as an outcast and I was always bullied at school and when I came home I would clean Berna was working and I would look after the spoiled Ecrine Ecri and we would lock her in the house and we couldn't jump out of the window because we were on the 5th floor

At home Ecrin and I would eat each other up and after Ecrin's slander I would get beaten by Berna and Dad and sometimes Doruk would save me even though he was cold-blooded, compassionate and against violence against women

I used to do my own hair since I was 6 and I had improved myself a lot in hair, I wanted to be a hairdresser but my dad didn't let me, my dad wanted me to be a teacher or a doctor

But I wanted to be a hairdresser and do the make-up of celebrities My dream was to do my hair, the normal one in the neighborhood was to be a hairdresser I wanted to be a student, I wanted to study as an apprentice but it didn't work out

I didn't like school at all and I was going to skip school today, my father didn't care because he didn't care, I had 10 days of absence and I'll use one of them, I'll travel as I want today

I took my bag, books, headphones, food and clothes, after combing my hair I put on my black long cardigan and went out.

The weather was bad, I wish it was sunny, I would have gone randomly but I was afraid I would get lost, so I went to the cafes and parks around the school, the market was close anyway, I was going to go to a book cafe and read a book, today was going to be a nice day.

The weather was cold and I went to a cafe and changed in the toilet. I was wearing a short, loose white T-shirt, black sweatpants and a black cardigan. I didn't know any other combination.

Yes, my waiter was looking at me. Of course he understood that I was skipping school.

I went to a park and lived the childhood I couldn't live. I swung on the swing like a little kid and slid down the slide. Then I read a book.

When I woke up, it was raining and my book was wet. I went to the slide immediately and waited for the rain to stop. I was cold and there was no one to warm me up. Why is my life like this?

When the rain stopped, I was walking towards the book cafe with my wet state. At that moment, I saw a woman looking at me with strange looks. She was smiling into my eyes. This woman looked like a short writer with long straight hair. She turned her back and looked at me again. I looked at her and we both went our separate ways. The woman looked very beautiful and meaningful,